Chapter 54 "I will not marry anyone else, trust me."...
Gu Zhan never imagined that he, who had always been adept at handling things, would be at a loss when facing Shen Mi.
He could only offer a dry explanation: "I didn't think that way."
Shen Mi didn't believe him; she only saw Gu Zhan's Adam's apple bobbing.
She lowered her head and gave a self-deprecating smile: "Why must Your Highness do this? In any case, I am now under Your Highness's control and cannot escape. Therefore, I dare not harbor the slightest rebellious thoughts towards Your Highness."
It is now September, past the Cold Dew solar term, and in a few days it will be Frost's Descent. The weather in Bianjing has turned cool. Although it is not yet time to add charcoal braziers, the nights are damp and cold with dew.
Shen Mi's shoulders were exposed to the air, but she didn't feel cold at all.
Gu Zhan looked down at the woman.
The woman's eyelashes drooped, but her expression was utterly calm, as calm as a stagnant pool.
He had never seen such an expression on Shen Mi's face before.
Six years ago, when she first married him, she was respectful and cautious in everything she did and in her words. Although she was always careful in front of him, there were always subtle expressions in her eyes and brows.
Later, the conflict between the two deepened, and she called him by his full name, her face revealing undisguised hatred for him;
Later, when they met again in Runzhou, she felt fear, pretense, and pleading towards him.
He had seen her gentle tenderness when she was in love with him, and her charming smile in front of Su Xingjian, but he had never seen her so calm and composed, almost humble, without a trace of emotion.
Then, Gu Zhan realized that the woman's hand, which he had been holding down, moved. He looked in the direction of the movement and found that she seemed to be continuing to tug at the ties on her dress.
A feeling of suffocation washed over him. Although it was Shen Mi who was being restrained, he felt as if someone had covered his mouth and nose, making it difficult for him to breathe.
Gu Zhan changed from pressing down on the woman's hand to holding it, then squatted down, picked up the jacket she had just taken off from the ground, and draped it over her shoulder with one hand.
Shen Mi did not resist, letting him do as he pleased and pulling her into his arms.
Gu Zhan's hand slid down from Shen Mi's back to her slender waist. After measuring her with his palm, he was surprised to find that Shen Mi had lost some weight recently. She had always been slender, so it wasn't obvious yet, but he could clearly sense it.
He held him close and sighed softly in Shen Mi's ear, "You've lost weight again lately. Was it because the food on the canal on the way back to the capital wasn't to your liking?"
"No." Shen Mi leaned quietly against him, her forehead resting on his shoulder, her voice muffled through the fabric.
Gu Zhan knew she was being disingenuous, so he released her, took her hand instead, and said, "I'll have someone prepare dinner."
After speaking, he instructed Sun Cheng, who was serving outside, to have the chef bring up the prepared dinner. Then, he took Shen Mi's hand and sat her down at the table.
Shen Mi did not resist, but when she sat down, her gaze fell on the memorial tablets and incense burner on the square table not far away.
Gu Zhan followed her gaze, his pupils trembling slightly.
"She didn't have anyone remove the memorial tablet in the Azure Phoenix Palace."
Yang Qing's words echoed in his ears again.
"Why don't you have someone remove the memorial tablet?" Gu Zhan frowned slightly.
Shen Mi moved her lips and replied, "Those are His Highness's things, I dare not touch them."
As she spoke, she turned her gaze away from the small square table, as if the name written on it was not hers, and that person had nothing to do with her.
Gu Zhan forced himself to catch his breath, ordered a palace servant to bring up a brazier, and then got up and threw the damp incense and the dusty memorial tablet into the brazier.
The incense had gone damp and was not easy to light, but the wooden memorial tablet caught fire quickly. The flames licked the edge of the tablet, and soon the words carved on it became blurred and charred black. The sound of the wood burning was particularly clear in the silent hall.
Gu Zhan waved his hand and ordered the palace servants, "Remove the brazier and the incense burners on the table."
The palace servants complied and moved the items away, leaving only the two of them in the hall.
Gu Zhan remained silent for two breaths, then said, "Fire can dispel bad luck. If the past was bad, just treat it as a dream."
After he finished speaking, he looked at Shen Mi, and the woman's gaze finally seemed to be touched.
His words were like a stone thrown into the long-silent lake of Shen Mi's heart, creating ripples.
Treat it as a dream.
Was the eighteen years before marriage a dream, or the two years with Gu Zhan as husband and wife a dream, or the four years of leisurely life in Runzhou a dream?
Countless images flashed before her eyes, and for a moment she didn't know which part Gu Zhan wanted her to forget.
Gu Zhan noticed that her eyelashes were slightly wet, as if she was about to cry, so he tried to touch her face first, but she turned her head away stiffly.
Shen Mi's lips moved slightly, and she said, "I've remembered."
At this moment, the dinner that had been sent to the kitchen was brought up by the palace servants. Sun Cheng asked Gu Zhan for his opinion, asking if it should be brought up now. After receiving Gu Zhan's permission, Sun Cheng waved from outside, and the palace servants filed in, placing the food on the table in front of the two of them.
Shen Mi didn't say a word, but got up and served the dishes.
Gu Zhan watched as the young woman ladled soup into the porcelain bowl, her movements the same as before, but Gu Zhan couldn't help but stop her: "You can sit here. You don't need to do these things."
Shen Mi's movements froze for a moment. Without asking why, she simply answered "yes".
Gu Zhan casually beckoned to a palace maid and told her to come forward and serve the dishes.
Although the palace maid felt that the atmosphere between His Highness the Crown Prince and Lady Shen was strange, she did not dare to show her curiosity. She ladled another bowl of soup for Lady Shen and put some other dishes into the Ding kiln porcelain cup in front of her.
Shen Mi didn't pick and choose, but mechanically picked up a piece of yam and brought it to her lips, only to be stopped by Gu Zhan with his chopsticks.
She looked at Gu Zhan with some confusion, "What is Your Highness doing?"
Gu Zhan picked the two scallion pieces stuck to the yam and said, "Don't you not eat scallions?"
Shen Mi seemed to come to her senses then, "I forgot, thank you Your Highness."
Gu Zhan didn't want to hear her say thank you. He loosened his collar and said to Sun Cheng, "From now on, when the kitchen staff cooks, don't put scallions in the dishes." He glanced at the palace maids standing to the side, ready to serve the two of them at any time, and felt annoyed. He waved his hand and told them to leave.
He spent the entire day in the palace dealing with the Empress and the Emperor. Later, Prime Minister Li, Prime Minister Su, and some other ministers who were usually highly regarded by the Emperor also came to Funing Palace to discuss matters. He was exhausted and thought that having dinner with Shen Mi after returning to the East Palace would help him relax. At this moment, he saw Shen Mi like a wooden or clay sculpture, taking small bites of food and putting it to her mouth, regardless of whether she liked the dishes or not.
But as soon as this thought crossed his mind, he was surprised to find that even though he had known Shen Mi for six years, he had no idea what she liked or disliked. He only knew that she liked to eat fish and disliked scallions when they were in Runzhou.
He suddenly remembered that in the past, it seemed that Shen Mi always took care of his tastes more, learning Huaiyang cuisine for him and preparing seasonal soups for him. Even during the most intimate time between the two, the dishes that were always prepared in Qingluan Palace were his tastes.
Shen Mi heard him put down his chopsticks, but didn't eat another bite.
Looking at the woman's arm, whose veins were visible even without her exerting any effort, Gu Zhan's thoughts were somewhat complicated. He said, "You're too thin. You need to eat more."
Shen Mi responded softly, "Yes."
As soon as he opened his mouth, he was choked by the pepper in the dish, and clutched his chest, coughing and panting.
Gu Zhan quickly poured a cup of tea, patting her back to help her catch her breath, and handed her the warm tea. "Drink some tea to soothe your throat."
Shen Mi choked until tears welled up in her eyes, but the first thing she did after recovering was not to take the teacup from Gu Zhan's hand, but to apologize to him: "I have been disrespectful before Your Majesty, and I beg Your Highness to punish me."
Gu Zhan's hand froze on her back. He pulled her into his arms, told her to lean on his shoulder, and said, "I won't blame you." He then fed her tea.
This time, Shen Mi did not refuse and began to swallow in small sips, taking his hand as a guide.
As the teacup emptied, a tear slowly rolled down her cheek and dripped into the cup.
Gu Zhan put down his teacup, gently wiped away the tears on her face with one hand, and wrapped his other arm around her waist, taking her hand in his.
"If there's anything you're lacking, or anything that makes you unhappy, you should tell me, okay?"
The warm, moist breath brushed against Shen Mi's earlobe. She instinctively tried to pull away, but only shrank her neck slightly without actually moving away, nodding her head in Gu Zhan's arms.
Gu Zhan immediately lost his appetite, ordered the dishes on the table to be removed, and then asked someone to prepare hot water. He carried her to the outside of the bathhouse, as if he intended to bathe with her.
Shen Mi felt a chill run down her spine and quickly took two steps back, saying, "These are trivial matters; I can handle them myself."
Seeing the slight fear in her expression, Gu Zhan did not insist and turned to go to the bathroom next door.
After Shen Mi returned to her bedchamber with Cui Wei's help, she found Gu Zhan wearing only a moon-white robe, leaning against the headboard reading official documents.
Gu Zhan saw her push the door open and came in, then patted the spot next to him and said, "Come here."
Shen Mi hesitated for a moment, but still headed in that direction.
What's with all this talk about having dinner with her? Isn't it all just waiting for these things?
Before she could even untie the sash at the waist of her clothes, she was pulled into someone's arms.
Gu Zhan swept down the curtain with one hand, put his arm around her waist, and placed her on the inside of the bed. He then pressed himself against her back, enveloping her completely.
Shen Mi saw that the luminous pearl was still placed in the corner of the curtain, just as it had been when they were most in love.
She had thought Gu Zhan was going to do that kind of thing, and had convinced herself to be prepared. However, the person behind her simply placed a light kiss on her forehead and moved away, leaving only his chin above her head, and said, "Sleep."
She paused for a moment, then replied with a nasal tone.
She didn't know what kind of incense was burning in the hall, but she slept exceptionally soundly that night, and when she opened her eyes, it was already broad daylight.
At breakfast, Shen Mi's appetite was still not very good, but the palace servants said that His Highness the Crown Prince had instructed her to eat some breakfast.
Shen Mi looked at the young palace maid in front of her, who appeared quite young and inexperienced. Holding the spoon in her hand, she asked, "How old are you?"
The young palace maid lowered her head and said, "Replying to Your Highness, this servant is fifteen years old this year."
Fifteen, Shen Mi was lost in thought for a moment, "I heard you have a bit of a northern accent, how did you end up serving in the Eastern Palace?"
The young palace maid hesitated for a moment before saying, "My father died in battle two years ago, and my mother remarried with me. My stepfather didn't like me and didn't want to add another person to the household. He would beat and scold my mother and me at the drop of a hat, and he didn't want to provide me with a dowry. My mother had no choice but to find a way to send me to the palace, which is how I was able to serve His Highness the Crown Prince and his wife."
Shen Mi saw that the little palace maid had her eyes downcast and her face was timid, just like the fear she felt when she first entered the East Palace and faced Gu Zhan. In the end, she couldn't bear to make the little palace maid be punished because she didn't eat breakfast. After sighing, she looked at the little palace maid and said, "Serve me a bowl of porridge."
The young palace maid didn't know why she had changed her mind, but she didn't stop what she was doing.
After breakfast, just past noon, news came from the palace that the Empress wished to see Shen Mi.
She had just returned, how could she dare not go? She could only agree to the messenger maid's request, saying that she would go after changing her clothes.
When Shen Mi arrived at Kunning Palace, the Empress was leaning against a low table on a soft couch, pretending to be asleep, while a palace maid beside her was pressing her head.
Shen Mi bowed to the Empress and said, "This concubine greets Your Majesty."
She hesitated for a moment, but decided to address the Empress as "Your Majesty" directly. She was unsure of her current status. Perhaps at Gu Zhan's behest, everyone in the Eastern Palace, except for Sun Cheng who called her "Consort" a few times yesterday, addressed her as "Madam." This was because it was common knowledge that Consort Shen had perished in the fire years ago.
The Empress raised her hand, and the palace maids behind her stopped what they were doing and withdrew as she instructed.
She gestured to the seat opposite her, opened her eyes and looked at Shen Mi, "Sit."
Shen Mi sat opposite the Empress and remembered what Gu Zhan had told her: the Empress was not his biological mother. She hadn't known this before and hadn't had the chance to get too close to the Empress. Now, looking at her closely, she realized it was true. Gu Zhan's features didn't resemble the Empress's at all.
The Empress looked her over and, without beating around the bush, said directly, "Zhan'er has obtained an imperial decree from the Emperor to make you the Crown Princess. Are you aware of this?"
Shen Mi vaguely recalled that Gu Zhan had indeed mentioned this matter when they were in Runzhou, but now, facing the Empress, she chose to pretend to be ignorant and said, "This concubine knows nothing about this matter."
The Empress said, "You were away from the palace for four years, kidnapped by villains, and later settled in the Runyang area. Fortunately, your fate with Zhan'er was not over, and you were able to return to the palace. Let's not talk about what happened in between. Your identity is still awkward. If you stay quietly by Zhan'er's side, it's just a matter of changing your identity and name. But if you want to be the Crown Princess, this matter cannot be taken lightly."
Shen Mi pursed her lips. "I know."
The Empress released her hand from her chin, her brow furrowing slightly: "Since you know, you should try to persuade him. He has only had you in the Eastern Palace for so many years, and I understand your character. But you should also understand that his Crown Princess must be helpful to his succession. Now the Emperor intends to recall Prince Wei to the capital. If Prince Wei returns, he will inevitably compete with him for the throne. Therefore, he needs to marry a noblewoman from Bianjing whose status and position can provide him with sufficient support, so as not to be countered by Prince Wei's faction in the court. You should understand these principles. He has deep feelings for you, and after being separated for four years, he naturally wants to give you the best. But you should also know some boundaries."
Shen Mi understood the meaning behind the Empress's words. It was because of her difficult background that she could not help Gu Zhan in matters such as securing the heir, but she did not want to damage the harmony between her and Gu Zhan, so she started with her, hoping to get her to speak and dispel Gu Zhan's idea.
But this was Gu Zhan's own decision, and he hadn't discussed it with her at all beforehand. It wasn't like she had begged Gu Zhan for the position of Crown Princess.
A lump formed in Shen Mi's throat, and out of politeness, she replied to the Empress, "This concubine understands Your Majesty's meaning."
The Empress looked at her, sighed, and said, "If you truly care about him, then go back and think it over carefully. While the imperial decree has not yet been issued, there is still a chance to turn things around."
Shen Mi nodded, without saying much.
*
As soon as Gu Zhan finished court, his informant in the palace came up to him and told him that the Empress had summoned Shen Mi.
Although the Empress kept calling him "Little Mi," he still couldn't put his mind at ease. He quickly dealt with the courtiers who wanted to talk to him and then walked towards the Kunning Palace.
When Gu Zhan arrived at Kunning Palace, Shen Mi was sitting opposite the Empress, listening to her speak.
When the Empress saw that it was Gu Zhan, she stopped talking and asked Gu Zhan, "What brings you here today?"
After Gu Zhan paid his respects to the Empress, he stopped Shen Mi from rising to pay her respects to him, indicating that she did not need to. Then he looked at the Empress and said, "I heard that Your Majesty summoned Zhi Niang, so I came to see her as well, to show my filial piety to Zhi Niang."
As he spoke, he brazenly took Shen Mi's hand in his palm right in front of the Empress.
Shen Mi's heart sank.
The Empress had just warned her not to "be arrogant because of the Emperor's favor," and even suggested that since she had never been able to give Gu Zhan an heir, she should also advise Gu Zhan to take in some other respectable women from good families to serve him in the Eastern Palace so that he could have children. Gu Zhan did this so openly.
She tried to pull her hand out of Gu Zhan's palm, but she couldn't move it at all.
Gu Zhan roughly guessed that the Empress had made things difficult for Shen Mi earlier, but he couldn't ask her directly in front of the Empress. So he used this action to show the Empress how much he valued Shen Mi.
Shen Mi saw the two pulling and tugging at each other clearly. She closed her eyes and said, "Greetings are enough. I just took my medicine and have a bit of a headache. You and she should go back first."
Shen Mi breathed a sigh of relief. Since she couldn't break free from Gu Zhan's actions no matter what, she might as well let him be.
As soon as they left the East Palace, Gu Zhan turned to her and asked, "Did she make things difficult for you just now?"
Shen Mi didn't want to complain to Gu Zhan. If her words caused Gu Zhan to have a conflict with the Empress, how could she know whether Gu Zhan would choose his power or protect her?
Secondly, she knew all too well that she couldn't persuade Gu Zhan at all, so she kept the words the Empress had just said to her to herself.
Her mind raced with a thousand thoughts, but she remained silent for a moment before saying, "No, Your Highness was only concerned about how I had fared in Runzhou for the past four years. She didn't ask anything else. Your Highness, please rest assured. I was also careful with my words and didn't utter a single word that I shouldn't have."
Gu Zhan seemed unconvinced and asked again, "Really?"
He didn't believe that the Empress had summoned Shen Mi to the palace specifically because she was concerned about how she had fared over the past four years.
Shen Mi simply said, "I answered whatever Your Highness asked, and I did not say a single word more than necessary about what happened after His Highness came to Runyang."
She knew that Gu Zhan was suspicious by nature, and that matter concerned his background, so she had to keep quiet about it.
Gu Zhan did not let go of her hand, and instructed her: "If the Empress wants to see you in the future, you must send someone to inform me."
"Okay." Shen Mi nodded gently.
Gu Zhan held her hand in his, feeling the coolness from her fingertips, and tilted his head to ask, "Why are your hands still so cold after being warmed in my hands for so long?"
Shen Mi knew that her body had always been like this, and simply said, "Perhaps it's because the weather is a bit cold."
Gu Zhan then placed her other hand in his palm as well, saying, "I have Cheng Lin wait in the East Palace to check on your health."
Shen Mi knew that he was giving an order, not asking for her opinion, so she simply nodded and said, "Thank you for your consideration, Your Highness."
When Cheng Lin returned to the East Palace, he was indeed waiting outside the Qingluan Hall. He was startled when he saw Shen Mi for the first time, but he quickly calmed down and bowed to the two of them.
Gu Zhan told him not to stand on ceremony and to come in and take his pulse directly.
After taking Shen Mi's pulse, Cheng Lin pondered for a moment and said, "Madam, this is a case of cold constitution and yin deficiency, which has been going on for many years. There may have been some treatments, but it has never been completely cured. Recently, it should be due to emotional distress that the condition has worsened."
Gu Zhan frowned: "Feeling depressed?"
Shen Mi lowered her eyes and said, "No."
Gu Zhan didn't want to mention the two of them in front of outsiders, so he only said to Cheng Lin, "Write the prescription and write the medicine."
Cheng Lin added, "Perhaps I can administer acupuncture to Your Highness. After the acupuncture, you should rest well and take the medicine. This will help you see results more quickly."
Gu Zhan looked at Shen Mi, and Shen Mi nodded to Cheng Lin, "Then I'll have to trouble Physician Cheng."
From the moment Cheng Lin administered acupuncture until she rested, Gu Zhan stayed by Shen Mi's side without leaving for a moment. After she fell asleep, Gu Zhan asked Sun Cheng to move the official documents from the Qin Zheng Hall and sat on the soft couch in her hall to review them.
A servant suddenly came to report that Yang Ping was outside requesting an audience.
Gu Zhan glanced at Shen Mi, who was still fast asleep, and decided not to wake her. So he lifted his robe and walked outside.
After Yang Ping and Gu Zhan performed the rites of subjects, Yang Ping asked, "I have just learned that Consort Li in the palace is using her illness as an excuse to see Prince Wei. His Majesty had previously intended to summon Prince Wei back to the capital, and now that Consort Li has made this request under the pretext of her illness, His Majesty has immediately agreed and has already promoted her to the position of Hanlin Academician to draft the decree."
Gu Zhan said calmly, "This was within my expectations, there's no need to make a fuss."
Seeing his composed demeanor, Yang Ping couldn't help but feel anxious: "I previously mentioned to Your Highness that we should get closer to Prime Minister Su as soon as possible. Marrying Prime Minister Su's daughter would be the best plan. In this way, Prime Minister Su and his students will wholeheartedly support Your Highness. Even if Prince Wei returns to the capital, with Prime Minister Li's support, it will be difficult to diminish Your Highness's brilliance."
Gu Zhan looked displeased. "Uncle, don't mention this again. I will not marry Su Yuzhao."
Yang Ping thought that he was afraid that if he married Su Yuzhao, Su Xiang would be too powerful and difficult to control after he ascended the throne. So he said, "If Your Highness does not want to marry the Crown Princess, you can choose one of Su Xiang's nieces or grandnieces and bring her into the Eastern Palace as a concubine. This will also win over Su Xiang."
Gu Zhan had already made up his mind on this matter and was about to explain it to Yang Ping when he heard Cuiwei's voice coming from the inner room.
"My lady, you're awake?"
Gu Zhan ignored Yang Ping and rushed inside, where he saw Shen Mi sitting on the couch, wrapped in a quilt, her eyes clear and bright.
He sat by the couch, holding Shen Mi's hand, and said, "I will not marry anyone else, trust me."
Shen Mi remained calm, looking into his eyes, and said, "Your Highness is overthinking it. I don't care about these things."
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