Chapter 32.32 She wants a divorce.
She wanted to escape from this palace complex, where every five steps there was a building and every ten steps a pavilion.
But how could she escape?
Should we just run away?
As the Crown Prince's concubine, she was someone the royal family valued most highly. She dared not imagine the consequences if she were discovered and brought back. At that time, the entire Shen family, her father who was worshipped in the Imperial Ancestral Temple, her mother who was worshipped in the Xiangguo Temple, and her brother who enjoyed the royal incense offerings, would all be disgraced because of her.
Should we discuss divorce?
The Great Qi Code of this dynasty does stipulate that a woman can directly file for divorce, but only if the husband has committed a crime, such as domestic violence or defrauding the woman of her dowry or property. However, Gu Zhan has never done any of these things, nor would he ever do such a thing.
Moreover, it is extremely difficult for a wife to sue her husband, let alone Gu Zhan, who is the crown prince. He is not treated the same as ordinary people in court. Even the prefect of Kaifeng has to kneel down and pay his respects when he sees Gu Zhan.
After much thought, she realized that she had truly become confused and delusional, that she could have come up with such an idea that she could never achieve on her own.
Her marriage to Gu Zhan was arranged by imperial decree. She had even been granted the title of Lady of Jianing Township by the emperor three years prior. Now, enjoying the emperor's favor and receiving offerings from the people, escaping would be nothing short of a fantasy for her.
It was only a matter of time before Gu Zhan married Su Yuzhao. She had known about this ever since she entered the Eastern Palace, so why was she dissatisfied now? Even if she was the Crown Princess, she had no right to say anything if Gu Zhan wanted to take a concubine now or a consort in the future, let alone that she was just a concubine.
If she wanted to go out and see the mountains and rivers outside, she could have tested Gu Zhan's feelings later and asked him to let her leave for a while. Why did she have to use such an extreme method?
As for Su Xingjian, when Shen Mi thought of him, the image of his face when he talked to her in the snow that day flashed through her mind, and her feelings were somewhat complicated.
However, she quickly managed to catch her breath. Su Xingjian used to be Gu Zhan's study companion, and now he was an official in Gu Zhan's Eastern Palace. In the future, he might also be a key minister after Gu Zhan ascended the throne. Gu Zhan had his own considerations for how to arrange his future, so it was best not to think too much about it.
Thinking of this, Shen Mi took out the brocade box that Su Yuzhao had brought over that day from the bottom of her dressing case. The exquisite jade bracelet lay quietly inside the box.
Shen Mi took out the jade bracelet and examined it carefully in her hand.
On her birthday, time was too rushed, and she didn't have time to take a good look. Later, she didn't see it on the table either. It was probably because Danju was tidying up the palace and thought it was an ordinary item, so she put it in her dressing case. Shenmi herself didn't have time to ask more questions afterward.
Sunlight streamed in through the window, making the jade bracelet in my hand appear even more translucent and lustrous, without a single flaw.
She had heard about the craft of twisted jade bracelets, which was extremely complex. The requirements for the jade used as raw material were very strict, and no cracks or flaws were allowed. During the production process, the craftsman had to carefully hollow out the jade piece by piece, turning the bracelet from solid to hollow. The craftsman's hands had to be perfectly steady, because even the slightest vibration could ruin the entire piece.
Shen Mi had seen such a jade bracelet in her mother's dowry. It was her maternal grandmother's dowry, which was passed down to her mother. Her mother originally intended to pass the bracelet on to her as part of her dowry, to be brought into the Chen family when she married Chen Jun, and then to be left to her daughter. However, later, her father and brothers died in battle, the family's status gradually declined, and her mother fell seriously ill and was bedridden. The medicines she used were very expensive, so she had no choice but to pawn the bracelet for money.
Unfortunately, she was never able to redeem the bracelet in the end, and no one knows who it has ended up in now.
The jade bracelet that Su Xingjian gave him was about 80% similar to the one his mother had received back then. The only difference was that the jade on his mother's bracelet was not as clear and translucent as this one.
As the saying goes, seeing an object evokes memories; looking at this jade bracelet, Shen Mi couldn't help but think of her deceased mother.
She slipped the bracelet onto her wrist, and surprisingly, it fit perfectly—neither too loose nor too tight.
She couldn't help but smile slightly. There was just one thing she couldn't figure out: why would Su Xingjian specifically give her a jade bracelet on her birthday?
Never mind, I'll ask again if I have the chance later.
Shen Mi tidied up the brocade box and put it back in her dressing case. When she turned her head to look out the window, she realized that it was already dusk.
In other words, Gu Zhan went to the Hall of Diligent Governance after returning to the East Palace in the afternoon and has been busy until this time.
She remembered that after breakfast, she went to the kitchen to prepare chicken soup and asked them to simmer it on the stove. She had planned to have someone deliver it to the Hall of Diligent Governance when she returned in the afternoon, but she ran into Lu Lin at the door and then saw her teacher's letter when she returned, so she forgot about it. Now that she thought about it, she felt a little too tired.
Shen Mi immediately straightened her clothes and got up, asking Cuiwei to go with her to the kitchen so she could deliver the food to Gu Zhan.
When she arrived at the Hall of Diligent Governance, Shen Mi vaguely heard Gu Zhan's voice coming from inside, presumably discussing matters with others, so she didn't want to disturb him.
So she handed the food box to Sun Cheng: "Since His Highness is busy and probably cannot see anyone, I will not go in. Please ask Eunuch Sun to take it in for His Highness."
Sun Cheng took it with both hands and smiled at Shen Mi; "Please wait a moment, Consort."
Sun Cheng thought that Consort Shen had been married into the Eastern Palace for more than a year and had always acted appropriately. When she was not favored by His Highness, she had never tried to curry favor or bribe him. Later, when she became pregnant and gradually became a harmonious couple with His Highness, she had never been bossy towards him. Sun Cheng observed that she truly had the pride of a daughter of a military family.
Initially, some people in the Eastern Palace were neglectful of Consort Shen because His Highness did not visit Qingluan Palace often. However, now that a year has passed, the palace staff speak highly of Consort Shen.
A moment later, Shen Mi saw Sun Cheng come out of the hall empty-handed, and assumed that Gu Zhan had accepted her chicken soup, so she was relieved.
Just as she was about to turn and leave with Cuiwei, Sun Cheng hurriedly ran down the steps, calling out, "Lady, please wait!"
Shen Mi turned around, quite puzzled: "Does Your Highness have any further instructions? Or is there something you need to do tonight and you won't be returning to Qingluan Palace?"
Sun Cheng bowed to Shen Mi and said with a smile, "No, Consort, you are overthinking it. His Highness means to invite you in."
"Invite me in? Wasn't Your Highness discussing matters with someone?" Shen Mi frowned slightly.
“Your Highness heard me right. Perhaps His Highness is being considerate of your feelings.”
Presumably Sun Cheng wouldn't dare to relay Gu Zhan's intentions, Shen Mi nodded to Sun Cheng: "Thank you for your trouble, Eunuch Sun."
Sun Cheng repeatedly said, "It's my duty, it's my duty."
After Shen Mi entered the hall, she discovered that the person sitting inside was actually Su Xingjian.
She first bowed to Gu Zhan, and then greeted Su Xingjian. However, this time Su Xingjian did not talk much as before, and simply bowed to her and said "Consort Shen".
Perhaps he was a little reserved because Gu Zhan was in front of him?
Shen Mi didn't think much of it.
Gu Zhan beckoned to her, "Zhi Niang, come here."
Shen Mi looked toward Gu Zhan's desk, where he was moving official documents aside and pulling the food box he had brought in front of him.
How could she let Gu Zhan do it himself? Hearing Gu Zhan call her to come closer, she stepped forward and said, "I'll do it."
As soon as the food box was opened, a fragrant aroma filled the hall.
Gu Zhan casually asked her, "Why didn't you come in after you arrived? Instead, you asked Sun Cheng to put your things down and then you were about to leave?"
Shen Mi lowered her head and said, "I saw Your Highness discussing matters with someone inside, so I dared not disturb you."
As Gu Zhan took the bowl, he gently squeezed her hand. "It's alright. You are my person, so it's not a matter of disturbing you. Besides, it's Ziyou inside." As he spoke, he turned his gaze to Su Xingjian, who was sitting below, and said in a meaningful tone, "Don't you think so, Ziyou?"
Su Xingjian had no intention of watching Shen Mi and Gu Zhan's affectionate moment, but Gu Zhan suddenly asked him, and as a subject, he could not help but turn around and say, "Your Highness is right."
Gu Zhan nodded in satisfaction, stirred the chicken soup that Shen Mi had served him with a spoon, and asked, "In these trivial matters, Zhi Niang has always been the most thoughtful."
"Your Highness is too kind." Shen Mi didn't know what Gu Zhan was thinking today. He was usually taciturn in front of her, but today he called her "Zhi Niang" repeatedly and was generous with his praise. She could only politely accept it.
Gu Zhan took a sip, his gaze falling on her wrist adorned with a jade bracelet. "Raise your hand."
Shen Mi didn't realize what he was going to do for a moment. When she raised her hand, the coolness of the jade bracelet pressed against her wrist, and she realized that Gu Zhan might have seen the bracelet on her wrist. She hurriedly thought of how to respond.
As expected, Gu Zhan noticed the bracelet on her wrist, his fingertips tracing her skin before finally tapping the jade bracelet on her wrist lightly: "Twisted jade bracelet? I don't recall ever giving you one."
The implication is that they want to know who sent it.
Upon hearing this, Su Xingjian, who was sitting at the lower end of the table, paused in his grip on his pen.
He raised his eyelids and, sure enough, saw the jade bracelet on Shen Mi's wrist that looked all too familiar.
He originally intended for Yu Zhao to give to Shen Mi on his behalf as a token of his affection, but he never expected that Shen Mi would actually wear it on her wrist.
But he didn't dare to look up directly. Even if Gu Zhan looked at him intentionally or unintentionally, he could only pretend not to notice.
Shen Mi's heart sank. She couldn't very well say that it was a gift from Su Xingjian, since it wasn't on the gift list and was brought by Su Yuzhao alone. But she also couldn't say it was a birthday gift from someone else. If Gu Zhan were to investigate, he would soon be able to tell that she was lying.
After thinking it over, she said, "It is my dowry."
"Dowry?" Gu Zhan asked back, but his hand did not let go of hers.
Gu Zhan sat in the armchair, and Shen Mi stood beside him. Even though she had her head down, Gu Zhan could still see all her expressions.
Upon realizing this, Shen Mi's heart began to beat faster.
She hadn't expected Gu Zhan to remember the gift he'd given her so clearly, nor had she imagined that a jade bracelet would warrant such a question from him. The twisted jade bracelet was indeed precious, but only to an ordinary person like her. Gu Zhan, a member of the imperial family and the eldest son of an official, had possessed everything in the world since birth. No matter how precious the twisted jade bracelet was, it shouldn't have attracted his attention so much.
Did he become suspicious?
Did she realize she was lying, or did she already know that the bracelet was a gift from Su Xingjian?
"How come I've never seen you wear it before?" Gu Zhan's tone remained calm, as if it were nothing out of the ordinary.
Shen Mi could only try to calm herself down: "Perhaps it was buried at the bottom of a trunk before and I never noticed it. I found it while sorting through my dowry from home a while ago, and I thought it looked nice, so I put it on."
"Oh, I see. Since it's part of your dowry, then wear it properly." Gu Zhan finally let go of her hand.
The moment her wrist slipped back into her sleeve, Shen Mi wondered if it was just her imagination, but she saw Gu Zhan glance at Su Xingjian. However, she didn't dare to look at Su Xingjian again in front of Gu Zhan.
But there was clearly nothing between her and Su Xingjian, so Gu Zhan shouldn't speculate too much about Su Xingjian.
"It's cold, the chicken soup won't taste good once it cools down," Shen Mi whispered, trying to change the subject.
Gu Zhan's gaze then fell back on the chicken soup in front of him. "It tastes good."
Shen Mi didn't speak, but recalling Gu Zhan's actions just now, she felt a cold sweat on her back. She had never felt that time in the Hall of Diligent Governance had been so unbearable and long.
Gu Zhan's behavior was even stranger than before. He usually only took a few sips, but today he insisted on drinking the whole chicken soup, which was already quite tough from being overcooked.
Shen Mi cleared away the dishes for Gu Zhan, saying, "Then I shall take my leave so as not to disturb Your Highness."
“Hmm,” Gu Zhan wiped his hands with a clean handkerchief, and as she was about to turn away, he added, “I will be coming to Qingluan Palace tonight.”
Shen Mi paused. Normally, she would have blushed in front of Su Xingjian, but she didn't. She seemed to only feel fear of the unknown.
Back in the Azure Phoenix Palace, Shen Mi looked at the jade bracelet hanging on her wrist by the light of the candle, and felt a strange sense of dread.
Why did Gu Zhan ask about this jade bracelet today? And his attitude was unclear. If she took it off, Gu Zhan would definitely ask her why she shouldn't take it off.
Just as he was pondering this matter, Danju's voice came from outside the door, welcoming Gu Zhan.
Shen Mi hid her hands in her sleeves, stood up and greeted Gu Zhan.
She had thought that Gu Zhan would inquire about the matter, but to her surprise, Gu Zhan never asked her about the jade bracelet again, as if it were just an ordinary jade bracelet in her dowry, as if all her guesses and worries today were unnecessary.
From the time Lu Lin left until the end of the New Year, Gu Zhan seemed to be very busy. However, Shen Mi had gotten used to it. Around this time last year, Gu Zhan sometimes stayed at her place and sometimes at the Qin Zheng Hall.
Before they knew it, springtime arrived the following year, the season for spring hunting.
Last year, the spring hunt was supposed to be held, but the snow disaster in Dingzhou had not yet been fully resolved. The officials, out of consideration for the people's plight, believed that it was not appropriate to be extravagant and wasteful, so the spring hunt was cancelled last year.
Although Shen Mi is now only the Crown Prince's concubine, Gu Zhan has not yet married Su Yuzhao into the family. She is still the only one in the Eastern Palace. In addition, the Ministry of Rites can see that Gu Zhan values her, so she also went to the spring hunt with Gu Zhan.
Before leaving, Shen Mi said that she was not very good at riding and archery.
Gu Zhan said, "Everything in the hunting grounds is arranged in advance by the Ministry of Rites. It's not difficult to hunt. If you're interested, you can have some fun. If you're not interested, you can stay with the Empress Dowager. Don't worry."
She was finally relieved.
It is said to be a spring hunt, but at this time of year, the weather in Bianjing has only recently warmed up, and the grass in the hunting grounds is still light in color. As the saying goes, "the grass is so light that it can barely cover the horses' hooves," which is exactly what it means.
Shen Mi, adhering to etiquette, did not follow. She only saw Gu Zhan and a group of younger princes dressed in martial attire, waiting for the official to give the order before riding into the woods.
While the princes went hunting, the emperor, empress, and some female relatives would sit under the eaves and enjoy the performances of musicians and dancers.
Shen Mi turned around and saw Su Xingjian to her right and behind.
Since Gu Zhan isn't here, it's fine to say hello: "It's been a long time since I've seen Su Zhanshi."
Upon hearing this, Su Xingjian's expression became slightly complicated, but he quickly composed himself and said, "These past few months, as the old year turns into the new, have always been exceptionally busy. Thank you for your concern, Liangdi."
Shen Mi had always wanted to ask Su Xingjian the meaning behind the jade bracelet he gave her, and now was the perfect opportunity.
“It was my birthday before the New Year. Su Zhanshi asked your sister to give me this jade bracelet, which I really like.”
Su Xingjian smiled gently and said nothing more.
Shen Mi asked again, "But I don't quite understand, why was Su Zhanshi's gift given separately when it could have been included in the Su family's gifts?"
Su Xingjian replied in a gentle tone, "Because I regard Liangdi as a friend."
Shen Mi's heart trembled slightly, and she murmured repeatedly, "Friend?"
It's normal for friends to exchange gifts, isn't it?
Su Xingjian said, "And he is a rare friend."
The spring breeze brushed past his temples, making the turban on his head sway gently. Behind him were layers upon layers of willow trees. He was solitary and elegant, and at first glance, he reminded Shen Mi of swallows perched in the lush greenery.
She slowly turned her eyes away and saw Gu Zhan leading the way, rushing out of the woods, with the master of ceremonies chanting in response and the whole hall cheering.
This time, Su Yuzhao didn't stick with Gu Chiying all the time; instead, she came to find Su Xingjian.
After exchanging a few pleasantries with Su Yuzhao, Shen Mi changed her clothes and sat down next to Shen Mi.
Shen Mi thought she was going to be ignored again, and that Gu Chiying would be coming over soon. She couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable, since this kind of thing had happened too many times before.
When Gu Zhan saw Su Yuzhao, he only asked her a couple of questions as a formality, and didn't seem to have any special reaction.
Shen Mi finally felt a little relieved.
She was quietly watching the dance when she suddenly heard a trembling scream.
"Snake! There's a snake!"
Shen Mi hurriedly turned around and saw a snake that had appeared out of nowhere and was wriggling towards her. She was so frightened that her face turned pale, and she subconsciously turned to grab Gu Zhan's sleeve: "Your Highness."
But Gu Zhan seemed not to hear her words and instead went towards Su Yuzhao.
There was another snake not far from Su Yuzhao, but it was nowhere near as terrifying as the one in front of Shen Mi.
At the critical moment, Gu Zhan, whether he didn't hear her voice or Su Yuzhao was more important to him, casually picked up his sword and aimed it at the nail on Su Yuzhao's side.
Shen Mi was so frightened that she dared not move, fearing that any movement would make things worse. She never expected that Su Xingjian would come to her rescue at the critical moment.
At this moment, Su Xingjian didn't care whether Gu Zhan was suspicious or not. He leaned forward, grabbed Gu Zhan's vital spot with his bare hands, and threw him out with a swift motion. He then called for palace servants to come and deal with the situation.
Shen Mi finally calmed down a little.
Su Yuzhao, however, seemed to be still in shock and had not yet recovered.
Su Xingjian saw Shen Mi's pale face: "Is Liangdi alright? Were you frightened?"
Shen Mi gently shook her head, "It's nothing, thank you, Master Su."
Gu Zhan turned around and saw Shen Mi, seemingly unaware of what Shen Mi had just experienced, "Yu Zhao has been afraid of snakes since childhood."
Shen Mi, who had already recovered, was startled again upon hearing Gu Zhan's words.
Su Yuzhao was afraid of snakes, but did that mean she wasn't?
Or is it that she was dispensable in Gu Zhan's heart, and not as important as Su Yuzhao?
If Su Xingjian hadn't helped her just now, she probably would have been bitten already.
She had a thousand questions she wanted to ask, but she was afraid of arousing Gu Zhan's suspicion about Su Xingjian, so she ultimately kept them to herself.
She lowered her head and said, "I understand."
Su Xingjian had already gone over to comfort his sister, and Gu Zhan ignored him, simply putting his arm around Shen Mi's waist as usual, as if nothing had happened.
Shen Mi wasn't in a good mood; no matter how wonderful the dance and music were, she wasn't very interested.
Well, Gu Zhan was going to marry Su Yuzhao anyway, so what's wrong with showing some favoritism now?
Shen Mi comforted herself in this way.
The spring hunt lasted for two days. On the afternoon of the second day, they prepared to return to the palace. By the time they arrived back at the East Palace, it was already evening.
In early spring, the weather in Bianjing was still somewhat dry, so Shen Mi had someone prepare ingredients and simmer a bowl of lily and pear soup, as it was said to be very effective in relieving dryness.
After it was simmered, she tasted it a couple of times and thought it tasted good. She asked someone to send one cup to Qingluan Palace, and then prepared another cup separately, intending to send it to Gu Zhan, who was still dealing with official business. However, she remembered the hunting grounds and hesitated for a moment.
Soon, she told herself that Gu Zhan was just a cold-hearted person, so what could she do? She couldn't just throw a tantrum at him because he was somewhat biased towards Su Yuzhao.
So she still carried the food box and went to the Hall of Diligent Governance.
The Qin Zheng Hall was brightly lit, and there were two figures inside, but Sun Cheng was not guarding outside the hall.
Shen Mi had her doubts, but she still went up the steps. She was about to knock on the door when she heard the voice of the person inside first.
It was Yang Ping, one of Gu Zhan's subordinates. She had met him a few times, but she wasn't as familiar with him as she was with Su Xingjian.
“Miss Su and His Highness are childhood sweethearts and deeply in love. His Highness may submit a petition to welcome her as his principal wife, or directly appoint her as empress after ascending the throne. After Consort Shen becomes pregnant, her child can also be raised by Miss Su.”
Shen Mi's mind went completely blank.
If Gu Zhan were to marry Su Yuzhao, she had already mentally prepared herself a year ago, but would she have to raise her child under Su Yuzhao's care?
Since that miscarriage, she has not been able to conceive again, and yet, right next door, someone has already set their sights on her.
But would Gu Zhan really do that?
He said he didn't want an illegitimate eldest son, but if she raised her future child under Su Yuzhao's name, that child wouldn't be an illegitimate child, but only a legitimate one.
She waited cautiously for Gu Zhan's reply.
"I will consider this matter further."
Whether it was her imagination or not, Gu Zhan's voice came through the wooden door and sounded like a blow to the head.
Shen Mi immediately froze.
She didn't disturb the people inside; she simply carried the soup she was going to offer to Gu Zhan away.
On her way back to Qingluan Palace, she thought about many things.
She was also loved by her father and brothers and pampered like a precious jewel; she was not born mild-mannered and boring.
She used to never lift a finger, but she honed her culinary skills to make a living under Gu Zhan's tutelage.
She had thought that sincerity could move mountains, and she had watched as things gradually became more harmonious between Gu Zhan and her. She thought there was hope for the future, but unexpectedly, Gu Zhan didn't want to leave her anything at all.
So all that past tenderness was just an act, right?
A year into their marriage, Gu Zhan was cold, distant, and indifferent towards her, but not towards Su Yuzhao. The answer was simple: Gu Zhan didn't love her at all, nor did he care about her.
She recalled how Gu Zhan had forced her to get pregnant; from beginning to end, Gu Zhan had only used her as a tool.
She shouldn't have harbored any delusions about Gu Zhan.
Back at Qingluan Palace, Cuiwei noticed that Shenmi looked unwell and asked her what was wrong. Shenmi, however, only felt her legs go weak and waved for Cuiwei to leave.
She used all her strength to write two words on the rice paper—"divorce".
No matter the cost, she refused to stay in this cannibalistic Eastern Palace any longer.
She wants a divorce.
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Author's note: The copywriting has been resubmitted!
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