Chapter 6 Abandoning her was all her fault; she was too boring and too inexperienced. ...
The cloak she wore when she came to the Hall of Diligent Governance had been handed to Cuiwei to take out when she entered. Now she was only wearing a thin ruqun (a type of traditional Chinese dress), and the wide-sleeved outer garment had slipped slightly off her shoulders due to Gu Zhan's earlier actions. In fact, there was another tightly covered cross-collar garment underneath, but Shen Mi subconsciously tried to pull the outer garment up.
She had never been so close to a man before, not even the man behind her, Gu Zhan, her husband.
Gu Zhan's slightly warm breath gently landed on the exposed section of her snow-white neck, sending shivers down her spine.
She was still inexperienced in such matters, and felt confused, nervous, and afraid about what might happen next, but she had no expectations.
With a warm, soft body in his arms, Gu Zhan's claim of remaining unmoved was a lie. In the past, many people had sent him countless women to flatter him. Among them were women of all shapes and sizes, and they were quite skilled in matters of the bedroom, but none of them aroused his interest in the slightest. Before they could even get close, he would have already turned away.
He didn't know if he was under a spell, but he felt no aversion to Consort Shen. Her acting was so clumsy that he saw through her intentions the moment she entered. Yet, it was precisely because she was such a pure and innocent person that he tacitly allowed her to get close.
From the moment she entered, Shen Mi dared not look him in the eye. She kept her head down when he was close, and even now that he had embraced her, she still kept her eyes lowered and her long, curled eyelashes trembling slightly. Even though she was like a puddle of water about to melt in his arms, she was still so awkward.
He also showed a rare moment of patience, gently brushing aside the cascading hair that had fallen onto Shen Mi's shoulders, revealing her graceful neck and tender demeanor.
But the moment his fingertips touched her neck, Shen Mi suddenly pulled away.
That sudden touch, those calloused fingertips that just brushed against her body, made Shen Mi feel as if her whole body was on fire.
Shen Mi recalled the stories that Instructor Wu had forced her to read before she was married. The lines were intertwined in extremely strange ways, and there were also pictures of two people with antique shelves behind them. Instead of books that should have been piled on the table, they were scattered on the floor. Instead, a pair of beautiful people were placed on the clean and wide table.
How similar this situation is!
She had noticed when she came in that the desk in Gu Zhan's Hall of Diligent Governance was large enough for her to lie on comfortably, and Gu Zhan seemed to have little pity for her.
In a moment of confusion, she saw the boxes stacked on the shelf beside her and remembered that the day before her wedding, Instructor Wu led her to a room where there was no one else and opened several boxes of different sizes in front of her.
The box contained not ordinary gold and silver hairpins, but bells, blindfolds, and several objects of varying sizes with uneven patterns that looked like they were made of jade. She didn't recognize them, and after Instructor Wu explained a few things, her face turned red.
She refused to listen and tried to avoid him, but Instructor Wu showed no mercy, saying, "Are you afraid of just this? I have been in and out of the palace for many years, and I can only tell you that those noble people who seem well-dressed have many more tricks up their sleeves in private."
She suddenly felt a pang of regret; she regretted coming to see Gu Zhan tonight.
Putting aside everything else, just based on what Instructor Wu mentioned, she felt that she wouldn't even survive to leave the Hall of Diligent Governance today, let alone anything else.
Shen Mi gently bit her lip, then covered the hand encircling her waist with her own, trying to push it away: "Your Highness, please forgive me, I suddenly feel unwell and fear I cannot serve you tonight..."
Gu Zhan didn't reply to her. Just as she breathed a sigh of relief, the hand that should have moved away from her body with her movements didn't let go; instead, it suddenly tightened.
She couldn't help but turn around and look at Gu Zhan, "Your Highness?"
Caught off guard, their clothes touched, and Shen Mi dared not look at Gu Zhan even more.
Gu Zhan, however, remained as composed and demeanor as ever in public. He asked, "Didn't Consort Liang come to the Hall of Diligent Governance to find me on her own initiative?"
Then Gu Zhan pressed her waist and pulled her into his lap.
Gu Zhan whispered in her ear, "Are you scared?"
Shen Mi was naturally afraid, but then she remembered what happened on their wedding night. She couldn't figure out Gu Zhan's thoughts and was afraid of saying the wrong thing. However, the more anxious she became, the more confused she became.
Before she could think of a word, Gu Zhan grabbed her by the neck and forced her to look up.
This was the first time she had looked directly into Gu Zhan's eyes. His eyes were so cold they could have been frost-free in the dead of winter, and so clear they were devoid of any lust, as if she were the only one who had just been swept away by this storm.
Thinking of this, she felt even more aggrieved, and her affectionate eyes welled up with tears, more alluring than the misty willows and waters of Jiangnan in March.
Gu Zhan's Adam's apple bobbed up and down, his breathing became heavier, and he couldn't help but tighten his grip on her waist slightly.
His voice was slightly hoarse, "Don't be afraid, this day will come eventually."
He had never comforted anyone; even when he tried to coax or persuade, his words were stiff and cold.
Shen Mi wanted to avoid his gaze, but there was nowhere to hide. The hand around her waist tightened, and she couldn't help but let out a soft moan. Her eyes were alluring, and she quickly bit her lip, not daring to make a sound.
She must have been really confused. Why would she choose to "provoke" Gu Zhan in a place like the study in the Hall of Diligent Governance?
When she came in, Gu Zhan was clearly still handling official business, and there were many eunuchs on duty outside. If they heard her, would she have any face left?
Gu Zhan seemed to have already seen through her thoughts, "There's no one outside, and there's a bed in the back hall of the study."
As Gu Zhan spoke, he changed his position and held her in his arms. Shen Mi did not expect Gu Zhan to do this. She subconsciously tilted her head back, and her soft lips accidentally brushed against Gu Zhan's Adam's apple.
Gu Zhan's previously free hand had somehow moved to her shoulder, and she shrank back, not daring to get close to him.
"Don't be nervous, I'll be gentler."
The fingers of the hand holding her waist hooked the sash on her clothes a few times, and with a gentle tug, her waist loosened.
Shen Mi saw her own face, now flushed with peach blossoms, reflected in Gu Zhan's pupils, and his lips slowly approaching. She dared not move, but Gu Zhan said, "Relax, don't be stiff."
But the more he said that, the less she could entrust everything to Gu Zhan. So when he leaned in, their noses touched, and the kiss was about to fall.
Faint voices could be heard outside the hall, causing Gu Zhan to frown.
It was Sun Cheng's voice: "You can't come in..."
"I have urgent news to report to Your Highness, and there is no time to lose."
Still lost in her passion, Shen Mi didn't hear the voices outside. She only saw Gu Zhan's furrowed brows. The next moment, he straightened up, picked up a cup of cold tea from the side, and drank it all in one gulp: "Let's call it a night."
A basin of cold water was poured over his head.
She said cautiously, "Your Highness, I... I shouldn't have hidden."
Gu Zhan looked away from her and said, "Get dressed."
Shen Mi felt wronged, but dared not disobey Gu Zhan. She could only get up and tie the sash that Gu Zhan had torn apart with trembling fingertips.
Seeing her disheveled hair, Gu Zhan ultimately didn't let the people outside in. He pulled out the armchair, lifted his leg, and walked out of the Qin Zheng Hall.
Shen Mi was left alone in the study for a moment.
She looked at the coat scattered on the ground, still warm from Gu Zhan's body. Finally, she couldn't hold back any longer and slowly squatted down, burying her head in her arms.
She was abandoned again.
It's all because she's too boring and too inexperienced.
A note from the author:
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