Sheng
That year, Wen Sheng was in her third year of junior high school.
The crackling sound of firewood burning filled the kitchen. Wen Chunhua squatted in front of the stove, staring blankly at the flames.
Inside the house, the younger brother, Wen Laifu, was crying.
She quickly fetched a bucket of cold water from the well, went inside, scooped some hot water from the pot, felt the temperature with her hand, then carried Wen Laifu into the wooden basin, carefully took off his clothes, her movements extremely gentle, afraid that the water would scald him.
Wen Sheng sat at the doorway, watching Wen Chunhua squatting on the ground, expertly bathing, wiping, drying, and lulling her younger brother to sleep. Her little hands were busy, as if she had learned the word "care" at a very young age.
"Chunhua, do you need my help?"
Wen Chunhua tucked the blanket around her younger brother, saying, "No need, you go read your book."
But my little brother kept crying and refused to go to sleep.
Wen Sheng didn't leave. She stood at the door for a while, then suddenly walked back to the table and pulled a textbook out of the pile of books.
"Chunhua, let me do it, I have a way."
"He's making a huge fuss, don't let his noise bother you," Wen Chunhua reminded him.
Wen Sheng carefully took her little brother from Chunhua's hands. She saw that her little brother's tears were still on his eyelashes, his voice was hoarse from crying, and he was still sobbing.
“Hoping, hoping, the east wind is coming, and the footsteps of spring are getting closer… (1)” Wen Sheng chose a text, Zhu Ziqing’s “Spring”. She was a little nervous, but she read it very seriously.
But from some point onward, Wen Laifu gradually quieted down, looking up at her with his small hands clutching her clothes, his mouth slightly open, his eyes unblinking.
Wen Sheng breathed a sigh of relief, her tense shoulders gradually relaxed, and her tone slowed down. Her little brother slowly calmed down in her arms, curled up softly, and soon fell asleep.
The two sisters exchanged a glance and smiled knowingly.
They ignored the noise coming from the doorway.
The next morning, just as dawn was breaking, the sound of chopping wood came from the courtyard.
Wen Sheng had just gotten up when she heard voices outside.
She held her breath, leaned against the door, and pressed her ear against the crack in the door. From inside the main room came her grandmother Nie Hong's hoarse voice.
“Dazhi, it’s not that your mother is heartless, it’s just that the family really can’t afford to raise you anymore.”
“Look at your two grandsons now, both of them will get married and have children in the future. You know that every family saves up in advance. Those are two huge holes.”
Wen Dazhi took a drag of his cigarette silently without saying a word.
Nie Hong continued, "If Er Ya really knows what's good for her, she shouldn't continue studying. She should find a good family to marry into as soon as possible, so we won't have to worry about money every day."
"Look at her sister, she dropped out of junior high school and came back to help take care of the kids, boil water, and do laundry. Isn't she doing alright?"
“Besides,” Nie Hong paused, looked around to make sure no one was around, and lowered her voice, “if you really can’t bear to part with someone, find a decent marriage partner and settle down while you’re still young. If you keep dragging it out, no one will want you.”
"Er Ya is beautiful, really pretty, the most beautiful in the village. If we settle on her sooner, the bride price can be higher, so we can save money for Dongliang to get married."
“But Er Ya has good grades…” Wen Dazhi hesitated.
“No matter how good her grades are, she’s still a money-loser!” Nie Hong slammed her palm-leaf fan on the table. “Even though I’m illiterate, I’ve still lived my whole life. How many children can the family afford to support? Besides, she’s already fourteen. In a few more years, it will be harder for her to get married.”
Wen Dazhi said, "She said she was studying."
"Can books feed you? What's the point of a girl reading so many books? With that kind of energy, she should learn to sew and cook so that she won't be considered useless when she marries into her husband's family." Nie Hong sneered.
Wen Sheng stood behind the door, her whole body stiff. She guessed that Nie Hong's words were meant for Wen Dazhi, but also for her.
If you don't study, you'll have to get married.
She suddenly remembered what she had seen outside the town's supply and marketing cooperative last week: a woman in a floral shirt, heavily pregnant, was standing on the street, being scolded by a man next to her, her head bowed and not daring to utter a sound, with a lingering finger mark on her face. The man had a dazed look in his eyes as he passed by.
Just then, there was a knock on the door, and Aunt Li from next door came in.
"Hey, what's all this arguing about so early in the morning?" It was Aunt Li from next door. She craned her neck to look into the house as she spoke. "I came to drop by and overheard you two talking. Don't take it out on me."
Nie Hong clicked her tongue. Seeing that it was her, she didn't chase her away. Instead, she seemed to have found a good helper: "It's not that she's arguing. It's just that this girl doesn't know what's good for her and insists on continuing her studies."
"Your second daughter? She's really good at studying. My grandson is in the same class as her, and I was just told the other day that she got first place in the whole town. It's quite surprising."
“Hey, but I remember she didn’t have this name before, right?” Aunt Li smiled meaningfully. “She was only in fifth grade when she started making a fuss about changing her name. Oh dear, I didn’t expect it was you, Dazhi, who personally took her to the town’s household registration office to change it.”
Nie Hong's face darkened further. "Her father is a pushover; she doesn't listen to her mother at all, only to this little brat. And now look at her, isn't she getting more and more outrageous? If I weren't keeping an eye on her, she would have turned the world upside down long ago!"
Aunt Li waved her hand with a smile: "Oh, sister-in-law, don't be angry. In the end, all this girl does is study. Not to mention your family, most people can't do anything about her."
She suddenly remembered something, took a few steps closer and lowered her voice, "Hey, I heard that the county's vocational school is recruiting students. Your second daughter is a good student. If she can get in, that would be a really great thing."
"A vocational school diploma?" Wen Dazhi asked.
Aunt Li quickly explained, "Vocational schools are so valuable these days. I heard the county's top high school only recommends two students, and the competition is fierce. Your daughter is the top student in the whole town, so she has to fight for it. Getting a good job and working for the government is much better than working your whole life like this."
“Your second daughter is such a good student, it would be a real shame if she didn’t continue her studies. But she doesn’t necessarily have to go to high school and go to university. No one in the whole village has ever been able to get into university. There was a girl who got in a few years ago, but I think she went to the provincial capital. She got her education, but who knows if she’ll come back to do farm work?”
Aunt Li glanced at Nie Hong, blinked, and said, "I think that if she could go to a vocational school and get a job early, with a stable job, that would be a real way out. Don't you think so, sister-in-law?"
Wen Sheng stood behind the door, clutching the hem of her clothes tightly, her forehead pressed against the door panel. Listening to the conversation between the three people outside, she began to waver.
Good news, we can go to school again.
But it doesn't necessarily have to be high school.
Vocational school, guaranteed job placement, a salary... she wasn't unfamiliar with these terms. After all, in recent years, if a family in the village had a vocational school graduate, it was something to be proud of for three years. Compared to the uncertain path to university, a vocational school with a guaranteed job placement and a salary sounded very appealing.
Besides, getting into university isn't that easy.
She hesitated.
Perhaps Aunt Li is right? Going to high school doesn't guarantee you'll get into university, and even if you do, you might not know what use it will be. It's better to get a job sooner and contribute some money to the family.
There was a time when her family was short of salt. Ye Caifeng stood at the entrance of the supply and marketing cooperative for a long time, pleading and begging for a conversation, before she finally managed to get half a bag on credit. She still remembers that scene vividly.
What if she could earn a salary?
A few dozen yuan a month can buy salt and rice, and even a new outfit for Chunhua and her mother. Then, will Grandma stop calling her a money-loser? And will Dad be able to stand up straight and say, "My daughter is successful"?
Just as Wen Sheng was weighing the pros and cons in her mind, Aunt Li outside suddenly asked, "Oh right, what was your second daughter's last name? I can't remember it. It seems to be quite particular."
“Wen Sheng,” Wen Dazhi, who had been silent all along, suddenly answered.
"Wen—what? The 'life' that corresponds to 'death'?" Aunt Li asked bluntly, startled.
“No,” Wen Dazhi said, somewhat displeased. “It’s that instrument, the ‘sheng’ in ‘shengxiao’ (a type of Chinese flute). She chose it herself, saying she wanted to pronounce it with a resounding name.”
Sheng.
Wen Sheng suddenly raised her head, and a few stray hairs fell from her forehead, covering her reddened eyes. She covered her mouth, trying her best not to make a sound.
The name she wrote on the draft paper again and again in fifth grade, the name she had mustered up the courage to ask Wen Dazhi, the name she spent an entire afternoon confirming at the household registration office.
She likes this word, even if others don't understand it. It's the word she chose, the word she accepted, the name she wants to use to go very far.
At that time, she didn't know if she would ever be able to leave the village, or if her studies would even be worthwhile. All she wanted was a name of her own, a reason to stand up and go to school, and to no longer be teased in class with comments like, "Why is a girl studying?"
She was already on her way when she chose this name.
How can we turn back now?
The noise outside continued. Aunt Li was rambling on about how vocational school graduates were guaranteed job placement and that they could get a salary once they got a job. Nie Hong occasionally chimed in with a few words, and also mentioned the benefits of returning to the village to get married, asking Aunt Li to keep an eye out for hardworking young men.
Wen Sheng stopped listening. She opened a book on the bed, a copy of "How the Steel Was Tempered," which she had recently picked up from a secondhand bookstore at the town's supply and marketing cooperative.
She had initially thought this was a popular science book about steelmaking, but after reading almost half of it, she realized she was completely wrong. The sentence she had underlined in red on the page now stood before her eyes:
"The most precious thing a person has is life, and each person only has one life. A person's life should be lived in such a way that when they look back on their past, they will not regret wasting their years, nor be ashamed of having accomplished nothing..."
Wen Sheng realized that she was not studying to "marry into a good family" or "earn a job".
She wanted to be able to stand up and see the outside world.
Tonight, she's going to have a serious talk with her father.
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