Xu Jianing
In the late 1980s, going to school was a joke in the village.
A family with land to cultivate and cattle to raise was considered respectable. Books were not as valuable as a hoe; a diploma was not as practical as finding a wife.
Xu Jianing wanted to become this joke, but now his father, Xu Guoqiang, has refused.
Which high school should I attend?
Under the eaves, the old ceiling fan creaked and turned. Xu Guoqiang sat on a bamboo chair, his trousers rolled up to his calves. He had just returned from the fields, fanning himself with a palm leaf fan in one hand and swatting mosquitoes with the other, a cigarette dangling from his mouth.
The earthen walls were damp and black, with mold spots in the corners. Several broken enamel bowls sat on the stove, and the rice jar was almost empty. Only a pile of freshly cut wood leaned against the corner of the wall, to be used as firewood for cooking.
"What's with all this talk about resuming exams? After all those exams, who comes back but doesn't go back to farming? Studying is useless here."
Xu Guoqiang waved his hand. He looked down on scholars. The hardships he had endured over the years were the only true lessons, while books were just a game for city dwellers.
“Your sister just got married and took some dowry to help support the family; your brother just started working in the factory and is saving his wages to get married; you, the youngest son, should be more sensible, learn a trade, and start earning money as soon as possible.”
"Old Zhang's youngest son has been learning hairdressing from a master for a long time, earning about ten yuan a month. He even washes his father's feet when he gets home; he's very filial. And you? All you think about all day is books, books, books. Can books put food on the table?"
He slapped the palm-leaf fan on his leg, adding fuel to the fire: "Your brother didn't even finish junior high, but he's doing just fine, isn't he? He's got connections everywhere he goes now, and he's very familiar with the people in the factory."
The lights were off inside. Xu Jianing squatted at the kitchen doorway, twirling a thin bamboo skewer in his hand. Even when a splinter got stuck in his hand, he didn't let go.
He had heard these words before, but today was different.
Today, he just received his admission notice to the county's key high school. It was white with red lettering and an official seal, and was delivered to him by his teacher.
This school was the one he and his teachers chose after much discussion. It had the second-highest college entrance rate in the city, but its tuition and travel expenses were much lower than the top school, making it the best choice for them.
Xu Jianing didn't want to say anything, but Xu Guoqiang kept yelling "I'm so angry!" His voice kept swirling above his head. Taking advantage of the moment, he secretly stuffed a cotton ball into Xu's ear.
"I've suffered hardships and gone hungry, I know how to get by!"
Seeing that Xu Jianing ignored him, Xu Guoqiang became even angrier. He closed his palm-leaf fan and said, "Are you mute? Say something! Are you upset? Do you think I'm biased? Do you think your brother can spend money but you can't?"
“Let me tell you, have you forgotten how your older brothers and sisters died when they were little?” Xu Guoqiang’s tone suddenly changed. “Back then, there was no rice or grain at home. You were lucky to survive, not because you were smart.”
"You're doing well now, all you can think about is studying, and you dare to act tough in front of me."
"Don't think you're something special just because you can pass the exam. You're the last one in our family, you're lucky to be alive, and you're still being picky!"
Upon hearing this, Xu Jianing finally raised his eyes, looked over indifferently, offered no explanation, and made no concession, breaking the bamboo skewer in two.
His older sister, Xu Honglian, had married into the neighboring Huangjia Village long ago. On the day of her wedding, the family received a pig, a quilt, and a sewing machine. He remembered it clearly. At that time, Chen Tianying was sobbing in the room, and Xu Guoqiang even scolded her: "Why are you crying? A married daughter is like water spilled from a bowl."
Hearing Xu Guoqiang's words, Xu Jianing finally reacted, glancing towards the door, "Don't I already have a motorcycle, brother?"
Xu Guoqiang jumped to his feet, knocking his chair over. "What do you mean by this? You think Dad's favoritism?" He strode forward, raising his hand to slap the man. "You think you're all grown up now? Daring to sow discord between your brother and me?"
Xu Jianing didn't move or dodge; he simply threw the broken bamboo skewer in his hand to his feet.
"I didn't instigate anything, I just told the truth."
Just as the slap was about to land, the door creaked open, and a woman's voice shouted, "Xu Guoqiang, how dare you hit him?"
Xu Guoqiang's hand froze in mid-air. He turned around and his face immediately turned red: "Are you raising your voice? Don't you act like a wife at all?"
Xu Jianing suddenly felt relieved; Chen Tianying had returned.
She had just returned from the fields, a hoe slung over her shoulder, her sleeves rolled up, her trouser legs covered in mud, and her face drenched in sweat.
Chen Tianying was not tall; he could be easily lost in a crowd. But he was strong-willed, had a straight back, could carry a hoe without panting, and spoke without blinking.
Just like now, she tossed the hoe aside and strode in. The hoe hit the ground with a loud thud.
Xu Guoqiang's hand remained suspended in mid-air, his face flushed red with anger that had come so quickly. Instead of striking down, he stood there frozen, his face expressionless, not uttering a single word.
"Xu Guoqiang, if you won't support Jianing's education, I will!"
Xu Jianing was stunned. He couldn't hear what Chen Tianying was saying, but he remembered that she was speaking faster and faster. She stood between him and his father, her back small, but like a wall, protecting him solidly.
"What do you know, you're just a woman!" Xu Guoqiang's face darkened as he cursed, and before he could finish speaking, he raised his hand again.
Chen Tianying did not back down at all, but instead took a step forward and stood in front of Xu Jianing.
"Go ahead and shoot, shoot here."
She pointed to her shoulder, her eyes showing no fear, only a resolute determination.
“No matter what Jia Ning is like, he didn’t steal or rob anyone. He just wants to study. He’s the only one in our family who can still go to school. If you won’t support him, I will!”
Xu Jianing kicked the bamboo skewer into a corner and whispered behind Chen Tianying, "Mom, I want to go to school."
"Jianing, don't worry about your studies. If your father won't pay, I will!"
Xu Guoqiang's fingers trembled twice, but he ultimately didn't slap her. He flicked his sleeve, cursed, and slammed the door as he left: "You two are so stupid, you're going to kill me!"
The door slammed shut, causing a corner of the newspaper on the earthen wall to fall off with a rustling sound, and the chickens in the backyard crowed.
Chen Tianying stood there for a while before turning around to look at her son. Her face was covered in sweat, but the corners of her mouth were slowly relaxing.
"Go to school, don't be afraid. Even if I have to sell everything I own, I will send you there."
Xu Jianing looked down and suddenly noticed that Chen Tianying had a big blister on her heel, and dried mud was crawling up her trouser leg to her knee. She hadn't even wiped it off, and the hoe was still lying at the door.
At that moment, he suddenly realized that the short woman in front of him was taller than he had imagined.
Sweat dripped from her chin, soaking the fabric of her shirt; her fingers were still covered in dirt, and mud clung to her fingernails. Yet these were the same hands that had just been holding a hoe, now pulling him back from Xu Guoqiang's grasp.
Chen Tianying patted his shoulder and said calmly, "As long as you are willing to go, your mother will pave the way for you."
“If no one helps you, your mother will wash clothes and sell eggs to raise money for your tuition.”
Xu Jianing's gaze fell on the dirt under Chen Tianying's fingernails. After a moment of silence, he nodded seriously.
At night, the sound of frogs filled the air outside, while the house was very stuffy.
Xu Jianing and his brother Xu Chengtao squeezed into a small house with a tiled roof that leaked when it rained and was stuffy when it was sunny. Newspapers were pasted through the gaps in the windows. Two old beds were pushed together, and under the bed board were two burlap sacks containing cotton quilts for winter use.
Xu Chengtao lay on his back with one leg dangling over the edge of the bed, a blade of grass dangling from his mouth, and asked Xu Jianing below, "Are you really planning to go to school? I heard Dad got really angry and told Mom he wouldn't spend a single penny."
As he spoke, he chuckled twice, it was unclear whether he was mocking his father, his younger brother, or their family for being so poor, yet his brother still wanted to study.
Xu Jianing looked down at the admission notice. There was only one old light bulb in the room, and a dead moth was stuck to the edge of the lampshade. The light was dim and difficult to see.
“Stop studying. We’re not rich. You’ll just end up farming anyway. You might as well learn a trade. Didn’t Dad tell you to learn hairdressing? That’s more practical than studying books.”
Xu Chengtao rolled over on the bed again, the foxtail grass slapped to the ground, and he scoffed, "Aren't you afraid?"
"What are you afraid of?" Xu Jianing asked, puzzled.
The light bulb wobbled slightly, and a dead moth fell down, landing on Xu Jianing's acceptance letter. He wiped it clean, saying, "I'll make Mother hold her head high again."
Xu Chengtao gave an "Oh," his tone devoid of emotion.
He knew his younger brother's personality well. He was quiet and stubborn from a young age, never making a fuss, but once he made up his mind about something, nothing could change it. Just like back then, when all the children in the village went to help pick cotton to earn money, Xu Jianing sat under a tree with a Xinhua Dictionary in his arms, memorizing the radicals and components of the dictionary for an entire afternoon, completely out of place with them.
"If you really leave, what will happen to the land at home? Who will herd the pigs?" Xu Chengtao muttered, complaining. He was very busy at the factory and didn't want to come back to do farm work.
"I'll come back to work during my vacation."
"Who's waiting for you to take a break? Farming doesn't allow you to pick and choose your time."
Xu Jianing didn't reply. She put the notice away carefully and placed it under her pillow.
Soon, I heard a steady snoring sound, one after another.
Xu Jianing lay on the old bed board, his back against the thin straw mat, sweat dripping down his neck and seeping into the yellowed cloth cover next to his pillow.
He couldn't sleep, staring blankly at the crack in the old, neglected wooden plank of the roof, where a few spiderwebs swayed in the dim moonlight.
There was an indescribable musty smell in the room, mixed with the sour stench of old wood and pigsty, making it hard for him to breathe.
Xu Jianing turned over, thought for a moment, and then took the admission notice out from under her pillow and looked at it again in the moonlight streaming in from the window.
The notice read "Admission Notice for Freshmen of Cangshui County Middle School, Class of 1987," with a red stamp in the lower right corner and some slanted handwritten ink marks.
This school only admits two elite classes a year, mostly to children of cadres or only children from supply and marketing cooperatives. Teacher Li said that he was the first student from the village to be admitted in ten years. It's not a city high school, but it's no worse than one, and the tuition and travel expenses are lower.
Xu Jianing pinned the notification to his chest and remained silent.
Whether it's worth it or not, I won't think about it.
But he knew that if he didn't leave the village, he would spend the rest of his life lying in this drafty house, watching insects burn on the light bulb.
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