227. Diary
"What is it?" Lin Fuman finished washing the dishes, dried her hands, walked over, and sat down next to her.
"Brother Xie went to the south to treat the plague. Many people are sick there, and Yue'er is scared... Sister Fufu is clever, does she have a way to cure the plague?"
Lin Fu's smile vanished instantly, her brows furrowed tightly as she fell into deep thought: "Plague..."
"There are many kinds of plagues. We need to know first which pathogen is causing it. Is it bacteria or a virus?"
"Are the common symptoms fever, cough, or vomiting and diarrhea?"
"Have you ever eaten any wild animals that you shouldn't have, such as bats or monkeys?"
The little dumpling looked blankly at her and blinked, asking, "What's a pathogen? Is it an insect?"
“It’s not an insect, it’s something very, very small, invisible,” Lin Fuman explained, then muttered to herself, “If it’s caused by bacteria, antibiotics should be effective. If it’s a virus, then we’ll have to rely on vaccines or antiviral drugs… However, it seems that most of the common plagues in ancient times could be treated with antibiotics.”
The little dumpling looked at her expectantly: "Do you have antibiotics?"
Lin Fuman shook her head, her tone tinged with helplessness: "Not now. Even in my time, only a doctor could prepare it for you. If you wanted to make it yourself, you'd need a chemistry lab like the ones in my day."
"Chemistry lab..." The little dumpling repeated the unfamiliar word, then suddenly remembered that Aunt System seemed to have mentioned it before!
However... that's something she can only obtain by completing a mission.
But she couldn't complete the task...
[Beep]
[Host demand detected. Does the host wish to receive the reward in advance?]
The little dumpling's eyes lit up. "Can I get it in advance?"
【Can. 】
"That's wonderful! Yue'er wants an advance, thank you Auntie!"
[Advance payment successfully completed.]
[Advance Bonus: A complete set of modern chemistry laboratory equipment]
[A reminder to the host: The reward includes large equipment. Please double-check the placement location before redeeming to avoid alarming others.]
"Thank you, Auntie, Yue'er understands!"
Then the little dumpling suddenly looked at Lin Fuman: "Yue'er has one! But Yue'er needs a very secret place, and no one else can know about it."
Lin Fuman was stunned: "What do you have?"
"A chemistry lab!"
"What?!"
Lin Fuman stared at her earnest little face for a long while, then suddenly realized what she was doing: "...Come with me."
She pulled the little dumpling to the corner of the room, lifted a pile of seemingly messy wooden boards, and revealed a hidden little wooden door.
Lin Fuman squatted down, pried open the mechanism on the door, and the wooden door creaked open, revealing the stone steps extending downwards.
"This is my basement. I only discovered it after I moved in, and I doubt even the landlord knows. I checked it out, and this basement must have been there a long time ago. I guess it was dug out by the owner at the end of the previous dynasty to escape the war!" Lin Fuman walked ahead carrying an oil lamp.
The little dumpling followed them down, and was immediately stunned by the sight before her.
The basement was quite spacious and filled with all sorts of strange things.
There were tubes made of wood and glass, filled with an unknown liquid.
Iron balls wrapped with copper wire, and various pottery jars.
And a ground covered with papers filled with writing and drawings.
There is also a desk and a simple sleeping mat on the floor.
On the desk lay an open notebook, covered with densely written words.
It looks familiar, but I don't recognize it at all.
“It’s my diary,” Lin Fuman said, placing the oil lamp on the table. “It’s written in simplified Chinese.”
A diary?
What is that?
The little dumpling couldn't understand, so it leaned forward and flipped through the book, trying to comprehend it.
There were words written on each page, some more and some less.
Lin Fuman walked to her side and silently looked at the contents of her diary—
Sunny on the sixth day of the tenth lunar month
Uncle Wang from next door knocked on the door in the evening, calling me loudly to come to his house for some porridge.
It's sweet potato porridge, it smells so good.
A sweet aroma wafted towards me, and he scooped a full spoonful into my bowl.
The aunt sat on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed) and smiled, gently protecting her belly with her hand, and smiled tenderly at me as well.
The sisters in the family also held their bowls and drank.
That's wonderful, they are all good people.
The woman's belly looked very big, as if she was about to give birth.
That's wonderful, another new life is coming.
-
October 12th (Yin)
I was awakened in the early hours of the morning by noises from next door. First, there was the woman's heart-wrenching cries, followed by the sound of a baby crying.
The baby was born.
I am very happy.
I searched around the house but couldn't find anything decent to give, so I went to the vegetable garden, picked some vegetables, and sent them over.
My heart is filled with joy.
But when I got there, I found Uncle Wang squatting by the water vat, holding a red swaddled baby in his arms, and forcefully pushing it into the water.
The baby's hand emerged from the swaddling clothes, waving weakly.
I was stunned. When I came to my senses, I lunged at him and grabbed his arm, but he didn't budge.
I am too small and too weak; no matter what I do, it is all in vain.
Until the swaddling clothes were pulled out, the red cloth was soaked with water, and the little life inside had completely stopped.
I angrily asked him why.
“It’s a girl,” he said in a flat tone, as if he were talking about something insignificant. “Girls are useless; everyone does it this way.”
Looking at his expressionless face, I suddenly felt a sense of unfamiliarity and dread.
I looked at the woman lying on the bed, her daughters standing beside her, all watching silently.
-
Rain on October 15
I haven't slept well for several days in a row; every time I close my eyes, I see that soaking wet swaddling clothes.
I really don't understand.
I went out to ask others.
They all told me that this was normal.
They even comforted me, saying that things are already quite enlightened now.
Before Your Majesty ascended the throne, women were not even allowed to leave their homes; their feet were bound by having their bones broken at a very young age.
Even when going out, she had to wear a veil to conceal her face, and be accompanied by a man.
Unworthy of offering sacrifices, unworthy of entering the ancestral hall, unworthy of being included in the family genealogy, unworthy of touching the dragon boat, unworthy of eating at the table, unworthy of reading and writing...
They said in unison, "It's already very good!"
Is it really that good?
I returned home dejectedly. Rain pounded against the window. I threw firewood into the stove and watched it slowly burn to ashes.
I don't understand.
-
Partly cloudy on the first day of November
Half a month later, I suddenly remembered the little life in the water tank and couldn't sleep at night, tossing and turning.
Two more baby girls have died in the village recently; both died young.
I sat in the courtyard, watching the clouds drift by, and inexplicably thought: Is dying like this a kind of liberation?
They wouldn't have to be sold like commodities, wouldn't have to spend their whole lives revolving around the stove and men, and wouldn't have to face oppression and exploitation.
I think that even if they were lucky enough to survive, being born into such a family, they wouldn't be treated kindly.
Rather than face prolonged suffering, it is better to end life at birth.
Perhaps, this is the true liberation, this is the best choice.
-
November 5th, cloudy
Today, I went to the government office with the spare change I had saved up. I mustered up my courage and said that I wanted to register as a female household and get a business license to open a shop, specializing in making the little things I design.
But as soon as I finished speaking, the clerk in charge laughed and said that I was just a child and didn't know any better.
He said women cannot engage in business; this is a rule passed down from their ancestors.
I was young and an orphan, so I didn't even qualify to be registered as a female household.
Finally, he kindly pointed out two paths to me—
Or, go find a father figure.
Alternatively, she could find a family to raise her as a child bride.
At that time, the shop will be registered under the man's name, and she will run it behind the scenes, but the property and the shop will belong to the man.
I suddenly remembered that my mother was like that too.
She only gained the right to run a shop by registering her name under the Duke of Anguo.
I stood at the entrance of the government office and suddenly felt a chill run down my spine.
-
November 13th, sunny
I haven't been feeling motivated these past few days, and even the tools seem unfamiliar to me.
It wasn't until yesterday, when I saw a little girl in town practicing calligraphy with my charcoal pencil, her eyes shining like stars, that I suddenly woke up—I had almost been assimilated!
How could I possibly think that the death of those baby girls was a relief?
I was an orphan too. When I was eating cold cornbread in the cold wind, didn't I also try my best to survive?
Did they die because they didn't want to live?
No, they simply didn't have a choice!
At that moment, I broke out in a cold sweat.
I looked around and suddenly felt a chill run down my spine.
It was as if I hadn't traveled to an ordinary ancient world, but instead to some terrifying world of ghosts and monsters.
I was assimilated; I almost came to believe that killing baby girls was an act of mercy towards them.
Thankfully, I'm sober now.
I think I have a direction to strive for.
I want to fight for my compatriots to have a choice.
To give them a chance to survive.
And an opportunity to stand on my own two feet and live without relying on my father, husband, or son.
Actually, I don't want much.
But I suspect that I will definitely be attacked by the crowd in the future.
Because I attempted to seize what did not belong to us, and touched upon interests that should not have been touched.
Among them are not only men, but also women who are unable to regain their senses.
So what?
I don't need to be praised.
I want to leave my name in history, and one day, someone will understand me.
-
November 15th, cloudy
I suddenly felt like writing something for the time traveler who found this diary and understood the words.
If I unfortunately die before completing my business, this diary will at least prove that I once existed.
Hello, fellow villager.
I don't know where you are now, whether you're hiding in a corner like me, pondering something, or whether your edges have been smoothed out by the rules.
If you've ever seen a world where men and women can study side-by-side, where women can run their own businesses, and where children of all genders are cherished, remember this:
Don't let yourself be assimilated by this world.
Don't be like me before, almost thinking that death would be a relief.
We've seen better things, so we should know that what we're doing now is wrong.
You might get scolded, laughed at, or feel lonely, but that's okay. You still have me. I worked with you towards the same goal.
I am with you.
Don't be assimilated, don't lose your way.
We're not here to adapt, we're here to make this place a little better.
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