Chapter 39: Shattered Dreams
As they were talking and chatting, suddenly, Ren Fenghe noticed that his expression began to become strange and his breathing frequency seemed to become unstable. Fearing that he would return to the first snowy day, Ren Fenghe quickly grabbed his arm and shook it violently twice.
He pulled very hard, even harder than when he pulled the shoe-changing chair just now. The frail Jiang Shen was shaken dizzy and was forcibly shaken out of his memories by Ren Fenghe.
He blinked a few times, and the reflection of his long eyelashes on his eyes looked like a butterfly flapping its wings, revealing a sense of fragility.
"You have to let me hear what you make first! I want to be your number one fan!"
Ren Fenghe was still very worried, so he leaned close to Jiang Shen's ear and shouted in a super loud voice.
Jiang Shen's ears were buzzing from the noise. He let out an uncomfortable "hiss", rubbed his ears twice, then raised his head and looked at Ren Fenghe.
The little girl changed back into her fluffy pajamas, with a smile on her face. She looked extremely cheerful, and her words were full of encouragement to him.
But after spending such a long time together, he already understood her much better than he did at the beginning. He could read the worry beneath her smile through her clear eyes.
She was a sensitive child, so she hid all her fears and worries in front of Zhang Jingchun.
Jiang Shen, who was dizzy from being shaken and whose ears hurt from being shouted at, now completely put aside his bad mood. He looked at Ren Fenghe who was ready to shake him again and said hurriedly, "Okay, okay, I'll let you hear it first. You become my number one fan."
"But as my number one fan, you have to support me unconditionally," Jiang Shen added.
Jiang Shen first fell ill half a year ago, but in fact, he had a very hard time in the more than two years before the sick leave notice came out.
First, he was involved in a scandal controversy, and was scolded by his beloved fans, the outside world, and passers-by, and it also affected his teammates.
Teammates were criticized as birds of a feather, accused of helping to conceal and deceive fans, and were even suspected of being in a relationship.
Soon after, he received news that Zhang Jingchun's mother had passed away. The death of his closest elder plunged Jiang into a vortex of emotional depression from which he could hardly extricate himself.
He never feels inferior. It is because he has confidence in himself that he dared to go to Korea alone. It is because he has confidence in himself that he kept persevering when his debut was nowhere in sight. It is because he has confidence in himself that he bravely took on difficult moves in the choreography.
But once emotions cannot be relieved, mood and thoughts will change.
He used to live with his teammates, and they often chatted and shared their thoughts, and a lot of depression could be relieved through conversation.
But as everyone grew older, personal schedules and plans accounted for more and more, and teammates moved out of the dormitory one after another. In addition, his teammates were all busy, and there was no one he could confide in for many of his worries. Plus, he couldn't help but look at the comment section, and every time he opened it, he was greeted by a steady stream of insults, and his mood became increasingly depressed.
He used to think he was very good, but during that time, everyone's criticism became a big hammer that shattered his self-confidence to pieces.
He seems to be really bad, otherwise why do so many people scold him?
He thought, perhaps because of this, he gradually became afraid of appearing in front of the camera, afraid of appearing in the recording studio, and afraid of going on stage.
Were they looking at him with kindness? Or are you waiting for him to make a mistake?
Will there be anyone who will support him unconditionally? Someone who stands behind him no matter what decision he makes.
"I will!"
His mood became low again, and Ren Fenghe caught his mood again. Fearing that what happened on the snowy night would happen again, she quickly responded.
But she didn't want to tell a lie.
Ren Fenghe, who has become a fan of Life, believes that he can accept all of Jiang Shen’s unethical behaviors as long as they do not violate the law.
So, she pretended to be a confused child and said hesitantly, "But if you are taken away by the police aunt and uncle, should I support you?"
The topic was diverted, and Jiang Shen was both angry and amused. He pinched the little bun he had tied for her today and pulled it gently in revenge.
He said angrily: "Is that the kind of person I am in your mind?"
"Don't worry, I think I still have some morals."
Jiang Shen also found it funny after he finished speaking.
Why would he want to pin his emotions on a child and hope to get his unconditional support?
Looking at the little girl in front of him who nodded heavily once again and said loudly, "Don't worry! I will definitely support you!", the invisible heavy stones on his shoulders seemed to have really been lifted off a few pieces.
At least at this moment, he did receive unconditional support.
After the topic was over, the two of them stayed on the sofa for a while, and Ren Fenghe continued to watch him change the lyrics.
This time he did not make drastic changes to the lyrics, but instead made minor revisions to the wording.
Ren Fenghe looked at it for a while, found it boring, and then turned his attention to the plastic bags.
"We have to clean those up." Ren Fenghe tugged at Jiang Shen's sleeve and said.
Jiang Shen looked over.
The fatigue from carrying things upstairs has been eliminated, and it’s time to pack up.
Watching Ren Fenghe struggling with the tangled plastic bag once again, Jiang Shen suddenly remembered that there were things he had secretly hidden inside that couldn't be discovered.
He said quickly, "I'll do it, but before we put these away, we have to do a thorough cleaning first."
Ren Fenghe was stunned and repeated stupidly: "Spring cleaning?"
"Grandma cleaned the house two days ago." Ren Fenghe said again.
Ms. Miao is very attentive to cleaning. Ren Fenghe, who basically does not require any care, makes Ms. Miao determined to live up to her salary. Whenever she has free time, she picks up a rag and a broom. There is not a speck of dust in her home and studio, and the floor and table are shiny.
Even after two days, the house was still very clean.
"Yes, we have done the cleaning and the house is very clean, but it is a tradition for the whole family to do a thorough cleaning before the New Year," said Jiang Shen.
Only then did Ren Fenghe remember what to do during the New Year.
There was no way, the traditional way of celebrating the New Year was too unfamiliar to her.
She immediately rolled up her sleeves and urged, "Let's get started then! What should I do?"
It was her first Chinese New Year and she was full of curiosity and excitement about everything about it.
"How about you take care of the wiping?"
Jiang Shen took Ren Fenghe, who was following behind him, to the bathroom, took out a basin and a towel, filled them with water, put the basin back on the floor of the living room, wrung the towel until it was wet but not dripping, and handed the towel to Ren Fenghe.
"Yes, sir!" Ren Fenghe solemnly took the towel with both hands and immediately turned into a hardworking little bee, looking for something she could wipe.
Jiang Shen was in charge of packing up the things in the plastic bag. In order to give himself enough time to hide his things, he said, "Remember to tidy up your small bookshelf too. Put away the books you don't read and we will send them to the children in need together."
Yuanyuan reads quickly. She finishes all the books at home one after another, leaving her with enough time to clean up.
Jiang Shen took this opportunity to take out two boxes from the opened plastic bag and quietly put them behind him.
The window behind him just happened to illuminate what he was holding: two identical boxes wrapped in gold.
While keeping an eye on Ren Fenghe who had his back to him, he quickly put the things in the cabinet behind the bathroom mirror in his room.
After packing up his things, he looked at himself in the mirror.
The flesh on his cheeks was a little obvious, so he reached out and pinched his face, pinched it twice, and then let it go with regret.
The feel is not as good as the round one.
Although his face was a little thinner, he looked much better. He picked up a strand of hair and rubbed it in his hands, then looked in the mirror, thinking something, and then straightened his messy hair.
"Are you slacking off?" A little kid's voice suddenly sounded from behind him.
There was no sound of footsteps, and Jiang Shen, who was not on guard at all, was startled. He glanced at the mirror hastily, and only breathed a sigh of relief after making sure that everything was safe.
"I'm cleaning up...myself?" Jiang Shen said uncertainly.
How come taking care of your hair isn’t considered a form of grooming?
Ren Fenghe was choked by his words and remained silent for a moment, but he clenched his fists silently.
I have to admit, Jiang Shen really deserves a beating sometimes. Ren Fenghe pursed his lips speechlessly.
"After you clean yourself up, come out and clean up the house." Ren Fenghe could only utter these words and turned to walk out.
Seeing Ren Fenghe's deflated look, Jiang Shen became happy, and he smiled happily again.
In the past, it was always Yuanyuan who made him feel bad. How could he deserve to make Yuanyuan feel bad?
Ren Fenghe, who was walking out, suddenly stopped, turned around and looked back like a wooden man. Jiang Shen's dazzling smile was imprinted in her eyes.
Ren Fenghe couldn't help but comment: "Are you the child or am I the child? You are even more childish than me."
Jiang Shen responded with a "hmm", nodded, followed Ren Fenghe and walked out, saying: "Yes, the little adult next to me is the most mature child."
His fist hardened again, and Ren Fenghe gritted his teeth.
Seeing that she was about to get angry if he teased her any more, Jiang Shen naturally changed the subject and said, "I'm going to start cleaning now. When I'm done, I'm going to put up the couplets. You have to help me check if they are pasted crookedly."
Knowing that he was trying to change the subject, Ren Fenghe didn't bother with him and picked up her small rag again and started wiping.
Jiang Shen also quickened his pace of packing up, sorted the things he bought into different categories, placed the window decorations and couplets to be pasted on the table, and picked up the cleaning tools.
They said they were going to clean the house together, but Ren Fenghe was unable to do anything because he had the child's body to take care of.
After she tried her best to clean every place she could reach, she begged Jiang Shen for a bottle of banana milk.
Ren Fenghe sat on the sofa and drank milk with a straw. From time to time, he pointed at a certain place and told Jiang Shen to pay special attention to cleaning.
Looking at her sitting on the sofa with her legs crossed, looking leisurely like a little emperor, and then looking at himself reflected in the window who was beginning to sweat, Jiang Shen once again realized that he should not tease this child easily.
Otherwise, she will make you suffer even more in the next moment.
There is still nothing to say, no way to refute, and no way to fight back.
After working for half a day, Jiang Shen finally cleaned the house. While sweating profusely, he felt deeply that it was not easy for Ms. Miao.
He was panting and was about to call Ren Fenghe to come over to help put up the couplets, but he saw Ren Fenghe standing far away from him.
"Why are you running so far?" Jiang Shen asked curiously.
Ren Fenghe gave him a fake smile without any sincerity. As soon as Jiang Shen saw this smile, he knew that she was going to do something bad or say something to make him angry.
I saw a little girl in the distance raise her hand, pinch her nose with her thumb and index finger, and curl her other fingers into a orchid finger, and said, "Can you take a bath first?"
Who said that male idols who practice dancing until their clothes are soaked and sweat profusely look very seductive?
Who said that male idols don’t have smelly sweat like ordinary men?
Ren Fenghe closed his eyes deeply in disillusionment.
She knew that such words were just like saying that idols don't need to excrete, they were all false lies.
Ah, a day of shattered dreams.
Jiang Shen stood there, looked at her rich micro-expressions after she closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.
His fists hardened.
Also, didn’t we agree to support him unconditionally?
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