Chapter 113: Confessing
Chapter 113: Confessing
Not just the text message just now, but from the moment we met until now, every word he said was accompanied by an exclamation mark, and he was full of energy.
Cheng Bing's gaze never left him, even when she was joking, she was observing his expression. The two had a tacit understanding that had lasted for many years, and Fang Yuenian quickly noticed it.
Why are you staring at me like that?
What's wrong with you?
Fang Yuenian shrugged, opened the box, and began counting the candy wrappers.
Cheng Bing turned on the air conditioner, and the room instantly became cool. He sat down next to Fang Yuenian, not looking at the book stand in front of him, but at him, "Was the argument because of what happened this morning?"
Fang Yuenian was surprised, then realized, "Oh, you all know about what happened this morning too."
Cheng Bing nodded.
Fang Yuenian: "I guess so. The trigger was something that happened this morning, but the arguments were all about the same old topics."
Cheng Bing: "So, are you really feeling better now?"
Fang Yuenian stopped what she was doing, thought for a moment, and turned to say, "Brother Cheng."
"Um?"
"I just arrived and called my aunt to tell her that I have filled out my college applications, and all four schools are in Beijing."
This was actually Wang Jing's instruction. A few days ago, after learning about the major and university her son was planning to choose, she kept reminding him that such a big decision should be shared with the family, as everyone cares about him.
He also waited until his grandfather came out of the chess room and told him about it.
Fang Yuenian couldn't understand why Wang Jing could always so sincerely respect her father-in-law, remaining unchanged for so many years, even to the point of blind devotion. Perhaps in her mind, titles like intellectual and teacher carried great weight, capable of covering up all other shortcomings.
"What did they say?" Cheng Bing asked.
"My aunt was overjoyed, and my grandfather said he understood and then went to get busy."
Fang Yuenian was quite excited, the kind of excitement one would expect from a prospective college student who had just filled out their college application with a great report card.
Cheng Bing gritted her teeth silently when he wasn't looking.
"Didn't your grandfather ask you which schools and majors you chose?"
Fang Yuenian shrugged.
Cheng Bing patted his back, "Never mind."
Fang Yuenian smiled and said, "It's alright. I was too lazy to say much anyway. My aunt is calling me to eat, and I'm sure I'll be stuffed again."
Cheng Bing smiled faintly and said, "I need to imagine that scene."
Fang Yuenian glanced at him sideways: "Can you imagine it? It's like when you go to your great-aunt's house for dinner."
“Yes, I really am going to eat there. I just called today,” Cheng Bing said. “Just thinking about that lavish meal makes me so worried I don’t know what to say.”
Fang Yuenian laughed heartily, "After dinner, let's go for a walk together, but we absolutely can't gain weight."
“Okay,” Cheng Bing nodded twice.
Fang Yuenian moved closer to Cheng Bing, smiling as she hooked her arm around his neck, one hand mischievously reaching down to knead his neck below his collar, "Then shouldn't you give your family one..."
The phone rang, interrupting Fang Yuenian's half-finished lewd act.
Since the invention of the mobile phone, Fang Yuenian sometimes thinks it is a great invention, and sometimes thinks it is a damn troublesome thing.
He had no choice but to sit up straight, but he was reluctant to let go, so he took one hand out of his pants pocket and looked at it. Damn, it was Fang Wu.
Okay, this invention isn't great at all.
Cheng Bing saw the name in the contact list and paused for a moment.
Fang Yuenian sighed and swiped to answer the call.
If two people are close enough, they can hear each other on the other end of the phone without even turning on speakerphone.
Fang Wu's tone was consistently impulsive; even when asking for a favor, he would speak in this manner. It was impossible to say that he was targeting anyone in particular. "What's going on?"
Fang Yuenian: "Nothing was done."
Fang Wu was rebuffed. He paused for two seconds, then coughed and said, "Um, I heard from your grandma that you've already applied to schools in Beijing, is that true?"
Fang Yuenian: "Mm."
Fang Wu coughed and said, "Well, let me tell you, if you want to study outside, I have nothing to say. But as soon as you graduate from university, come back immediately. Your parents are still in the countryside here. Where do you want to go? Your grandfather has been a teacher all his life. Isn't that good enough? When you come back, he can use his connections to help you get a teaching position at No. 2 Middle School. It won't be difficult."
Cheng Bing's hand, which was stroking Fang Yuenian's back, froze—he knew Fang Wu's personality, but he had never heard him say such things in person before.
Fang Yuenian remained expressionless throughout. After the other end finished speaking, he said, "Are you done? I'm hanging up."
Fang Wu had clearly been persuaded to make this call by his mother, and he was already reluctant to do so. Seeing his son's annoyance, he pouted and said, "It would be strange if I hung up."
After a busy signal, Fang Yuenian hung up the phone.
Cheng Bing took a deep breath, and after a long while, she finally couldn't help but mutter a curse under her breath.
Fang Yuenian was stunned and leaned her face forward: "What did you say?"
Cheng Bing rubbed her temples. "How many times has he said these things?"
Fang Yuenian thought for a moment and said, "I don't remember."
"Is he the only father in the world who would say something like that?"
"That's not necessarily true."
Cheng Bing couldn't stand his seemingly indifferent attitude and said fiercely, "He doesn't deserve to be a father."
Fang Yuenian was slightly taken aback. Looking at Cheng Bing's bloodshot eyes, he felt an overwhelming sense of love and concern.
There was a long silence.
Fang Yuenian finally couldn't hold back any longer and looked at Cheng Bing, saying in a low voice, "I really have a question."
Cheng Bing narrowed her eyes.
"Do you really, really think I can be a responsible person who loves my family?"
"You are already one."
"I'm not talking about now!" Fang Yuenian suddenly became agitated, raising her hand to cover her eyes. "I just..."
Their psychological defenses collapsed without warning.
Tears kept spilling from between his fingers. Cheng Bing quickly moved closer and opened her arms to hug him.
Strictly speaking, this was the first time Fang Yuenian had truly shed tears in front of Cheng Bing since she had passed through her childhood.
—The one three years ago doesn't count, because that was because I was happy.
Fang Yuenian has always been good at hiding his low mood, giving the impression that he doesn't care at all, or that he will soon be able to stop caring.
For example, when things are chaotic at home, one can calmly grab their bag and head out to school, telling jokes all the way. Or, just five minutes ago, one can be happily discussing a new bookend.
Cheng Bing wanted him to learn how to vent, but she could never get him to open up and confide in her, which made him feel very helpless.
So in the end, all he could do was accompany him as he rode his bike wildly on the embankment, eat, play with wood, or simply keep him company.
Even after the two confessed their feelings to each other, the situation did not change substantially.
If we have to talk about changes, we can say that Fang Yuenian is no longer so obsessed with hiding things. He will be silent and no longer force himself to be lively and energetic. He will suddenly want a hug or other more intimate contact. These silent and small requests seem to be enough to soothe his heart.
Many people feel that his personality has changed, that he is growing up and maturing. Cheng Qiuyan has also said this several times, that she feels he has become much more stable.
Only Cheng Bing knew that wasn't the case, but it was indeed a kind of growth.
Now, he finally stopped stubbornly holding onto that psychological defense, or perhaps he could no longer control himself. In just a few words, he choked back tears and leaned tightly against Cheng Bing's chest, weeping silently.
I can't remember exactly how old I was, but one day, after walking home from school with Cheng Bing, we parted ways at the village entrance and met Grandma Hongmei. Grandma Hongmei asked him: "Who did you come from with? Your sister is in junior high school now, so no one is taking care of you, right?"
Little Fang Yuenian was a little confused and said, "Are you talking about Sister Junjun? She's Cheng Bing's sister, not mine."
Grandma Hongmei narrowed her long, wrinkled eyes and said in a low voice with exceptional kindness and deep meaning, "She is your sister, your mother and father's daughter, your own sister. Your parents didn't want her anymore, so they gave her to Xiao Chengbing's family."
Fang Yuenian was very puzzled. Children don't keep their doubts to themselves, so he quickly ran home and told his family what he had just heard.
"Mom, Grandma Hui Zi told me that Cheng Bing's older sister is my older sister, and she's the child you gave birth to, right?"
His response was a sharp, resounding slap from Old Mrs. Fang.
Immediately afterward, Fang Wu came out of the room upon hearing the noise and kicked him into a corner.
Then came a quarrel that nearly ripped the roof off. He was terrified, so much so that he forgot to take off his schoolbag. He just huddled in the corner with it on his back, forgetting the pain on his face and body, and stared blankly as his family members, their faces contorted with rage, insulted each other, tore at each other, and wrestled.
Many people passed by the entrance, watching the commotion and trying to break up the fight. Children of the same age and from the same school came and went, as if watching a humorous yet hysterical family drama.
He remembered everything that day.
What he heard caused his ears to ring for a long time, followed by a slap and a heavy kick to his thigh, while onlookers watched with amusement.
Not long after, he waited at the crossroads at the village entrance, the one Cheng Junjun always took on her way home, on a Friday.
She had planned to muster the courage to ask her if she was her sister, but it was about to rain that day. Cheng Qiuyan was afraid that her daughter would get wet, so she took an umbrella and walked to the front of the village road to meet her. The mother and daughter pushed the cart and held the umbrella together, slowly walking back to the village. The rain was not heavy, and they chatted and laughed, which was very heartwarming.
Fang Yuenian hesitated for a moment, but still stepped forward.
Fortunately, he didn't receive a second slap for it.
I wonder what Cheng Qiuyan felt when she looked at this little one back then, since his question was almost a direct hit to the heart: "Cheng Bing's mother, someone told me that Sister Junjun was originally my sister, not Cheng Bing's sister, is that right? Can you tell me? Because no one else can tell me."
That day was also an unforgettable one. From that day on, Fang Yuenian started calling her "Aunt Qiuyan". The little boy was able to tell who was willing to talk to him properly.
His doubts were finally answered, and he even learned that Sister Xiaoxiao was also his sister—he was almost ten years old, and many things made sense, as long as he was patient enough.
From that day on, it seemed he could no longer be that silly, playful little kid.
He gradually came to understand the content of his family's arguments and could comprehend the intentional or unintentional verbal hints from the villagers. From doubt to irritability, then to numbness, and finally to fear, he suddenly thought in horror today, "Even if I go to university, I can't change anything. So, can I change myself?"
He hugged Cheng Bing, seeking security from him as usual, and repeatedly asked, "Will I really become a good person? Unlike my grandfather and my father? Like today, after they finished arguing, I actually wondered, why did they have to argue? Or, why did they make me see you arguing?"
"If I hadn't come back at this time, would I have been free to deal with this? If my mother divorced him, would the problem be solved?"
"The thought flashed through my mind and I was terrified because I felt like I saw the shadows of my father and grandfather in myself. I wanted to escape... My father called me, and I was angry and sad, but I did nothing to change the situation... In a few years, will I become like them, indifferent and apathetic to everything?"
"And what about after that? If you run into trouble, how will I treat you? Brother Cheng, do you really believe I can..."
“I believe you,” Cheng Bing rested her chin on his hair, her tone calm but unwavering, “I’ve always believed in you, and you’ve always done a great job.” Author's Note: Thank you to my mentor 9492239 for your support! For more exciting content, please leave a message for this book on Liancheng Reading.
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