Chapter 138: Coming Out
Chapter 138: Coming Out
“Dad, Mom, you’ve always been very good to him, caring for him and always thinking of him. It may be just a small thing for you, but for him, it’s something he never even dared to dream of. He rarely talks about it, but I know he’s very grateful to both of you. Of course, there’s also my sister. He’s always cared for his two sisters since they were little. In my heart, we’re more like his family.”
Cheng Qiuyan's heart jumped again.
"Why are you saying all this? He's upset, isn't he? Talk to him about something else, distract him, don't keep talking about these things."
Seeing his parents still concerned about Fang Yuenian, Cheng Bing felt a surge of strong emotions welling up inside him, almost shattering the courage he had finally mustered.
“No,” he said softly, “he is very strong.”
Cheng Qiuyan noticed her son's unusual expression and asked, "Then why did you say all this?"
Lin Guohui put down all the sunflower seeds, feeling uneasy and confused.
Cheng Bing closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened them again, she had made ample mental preparations.
He looked straight at his parents and said, "You used to joke around and ask me a lot about having a girlfriend, but I never really talked about it. Actually, I've never had a girlfriend, never."
Lin Guohui: "Uh...oh, well, there's no rush..."
Cheng Bing interrupted her father and said slowly, "It's not because I think I'm still young and not in a hurry, or because I haven't met a girl I like. It's not for these reasons. In fact, I have never had any interest in girls, not just girls, but all other girls, whether in pictures or in TV shows and movies."
Cheng Qiuyan didn't understand and looked at him with a bit of confusion.
A startled thought flashed through Lin Guohui's mind, but it was fleeting. He thought of many things: the way the two of them looked at each other in the hospital that day, the intimacy and concern they had shown each other these past few days... He stared blankly at his son.
His son then delivered a heavy blow: "I knew from a very young age that I didn't like girls."
Lin Guohui's expression changed. He fumbled around on the sofa for a while, finally finding a remote control, which he instinctively gripped tightly in his hand.
"No, I don't like girls, what do you mean?"
"What I mean is, I won't have a girlfriend, so I won't get married or have children, because I like boys."
The remote control in Lin Guohui's hand fell to the ground with a clatter.
Cheng Qiuyan stared blankly at her son, who had a serious and cautious expression, as if she were completely stunned and couldn't react for a moment.
Filled with guilt, Cheng Bing straightened her back, ready to face any storm.
He wanted understanding and longed for support, but seeing his parents stunned and devastated, the guilt he felt made him unable to say anything more.
Lin Guohui stared wide-eyed, his chest heaving rapidly. He showed a rare panic, threw off the blanket on his lap, stood up, and grabbed Cheng Bing's arm.
Cheng Bing thought he was about to get angry, so her face showed a hint of dejected resignation, as well as a touch of stubbornness.
However, the expected anger and scolding did not come. Cheng Qiuyan followed closely behind her husband, frantically pushing aside the stove used for heating, and in an instant, broken sunflower seed shells mixed with the warm heat scattered all over the ground.
Cheng Bing was pulled onto the sofa by her parents.
Lin Guohui swallowed several times before he could calm down. He grabbed Cheng Bing's arms with both hands and said carefully and strugglingly, "Bingbing... son, what are you saying? You're not joking with your parents, are you? You like... like boys, how could this be?"
Cheng Bing met his gaze without flinching or avoiding it: "I'm telling the truth."
In the next instant, Cheng Qiuyan covered her face, trying her best to remain calm.
Cheng Bing looked at her and sighed almost imperceptibly.
Lin Guohui's gaze fell on the mother and son, his mind racing through countless thoughts in those few seconds. His son, whom he was so proud of and whom he had doted on, had been flawless from childhood to adulthood—refined, polite, opinionated, and academically gifted, so outstanding that no one could help but envy him and his wife. But just a few days after turning eighteen, when he had barely become an adult, he suddenly told them that he was…different from everyone else.
He was bewildered, instinctively refusing to believe it, yet knowing full well that it was no cruel joke.
Suddenly, he remembered Cheng Bing's strange questions from earlier, and a wave of panic washed over him. He stammered, "Then, then, then what you just said, what you said about Xiaoyue Nian..."
Cheng Qiuyan was stunned, looking helplessly at her husband, and then at her son.
Cheng Bing's voice was soft but firm: "Didn't you all guess it?"
Cheng Qiuyan's face turned deathly pale. She raised her hand to cover her face, letting tears stream down her face. The tears quickly covered her entire face.
Cheng Bing pursed her lips, reached for two tissues, and silently wiped her face.
The family of three sat together, no one spoke, only Cheng Qiuyan's suppressed sobs could be heard. In the end, Lin Guohui couldn't bear it any longer, got up and sat down next to his wife, hugged her tightly, and patted her back gently to comfort her.
Cheng Bing clutched the tissue in her hand, looked at her parents whose expressions were gloomy, and lowered her eyes sadly.
Actually, I would rather they vent their anger on him; I can endure both physical and verbal abuse, as that would probably make Cheng Bing feel better than she is now.
Cheng Qiuyan sobbed intermittently, clinging tightly to her husband's arm. Lin Guohui didn't say anything, just kept holding her, gently patting her back and helping her catch her breath. But rather than being patient, he was in a mess himself.
After a long while, Cheng Qiuyan finally stopped crying temporarily. With swollen eyes and a hoarse voice, she said, "You, you're young, you don't understand. What good can come of this?"
Cheng Bing raised her eyelids.
“It won’t end well,” Cheng Qiuyan shook her head pessimistically, her face flushed with a fragile bluish-red. “Once upon a time, there was a young man in Meiwan Village, also… He was only in his twenties back then, and a renowned carpenter. What happened to him? People said he was mentally ill, that he was disgusting… He tried to commit suicide by drinking poison. After being rescued, his throat was damaged and he couldn’t speak anymore. His body also deteriorated and he couldn’t do anything. To this day, people still make a joke about their story, making it impossible for his family, young and old, to face anyone in public…”
Cheng Bing's heart skipped a beat.
Lin Guohui handed Cheng Qiuyan several tissues and slowly added, "I remember that year, he was not yet twenty-five."
Cheng Qiuyan wiped away her tears blankly, her face turning red.
Lin Guohui turned his gaze to his son. "He drank a cup of medicine, and a few years later his mother and father passed away. His grandfather is still alive, but he stays in the village and can't leave. People say behind his back that since the young one has such a disgusting mental illness, the old one must be no good either... His lover was younger than him, only twenty years old. They got married and had a baby. What's the point?"
Cheng Bing was stunned and speechless by the story.
More than a decade ago, in Meiwan, not far from Shuibiwan, there was also a young man like that. In those days, what kind of courage did it take to speak out about these things? That person did it, and unsurprisingly became an outcast, endured unimaginable hardships, and was ultimately betrayed alone, paying the price with his life.
Cheng Qiuyan said dejectedly, "He was a handsome young man, unlike you who could go to university, but he only had a high school diploma. He was skilled and had a good personality. Everyone praised him. Why did he have to... In the end, what did his life amount to?"
She stopped mid-sentence and sobbed, "If things were normal, like other young people, they could have a girlfriend, get married, and have a baby. How could things have come to this?"
Cheng Bing listened quietly, slowly slid off the sofa, half-squatted down in front of her parents, looked up, and asked softly, "Dad, Mom, do you also think I'm crazy, or that I'm disgusting?"
"you!"
These words were truly heartbreaking. Cheng Qiuyan raised her arm with tears in her eyes, but in the end she couldn't bring herself to hit him. Instead, she punched her own leg hard.
"I won't talk about what others think or how I should face it for now. What I care about is your opinion. I hope you can understand me, but if you can't accept it, think I'm crazy, think I'm sick, and insist that I change, then there's nothing I can do. I can't change, I really can't change."
Lin Guohui's eyes reddened, and his voice trembled slightly as he said, "You can't change, but what about him? Don't you know what the situation is like with that family across the river? Can we accept it? Why don't you think about how his family will accept it? Just the commotion his grandmother can cause will surely make it impossible for you two to live in Shuibi Bay! And what about your two older sisters? What do you expect them to think?"
Every single problem was a challenge, but Cheng Bing placed her hands on her parents' knees and said resolutely, "I don't want to think about anything else right now. I just want to know what you think. I just want to know your opinions."
Cheng Qiuyan's eyes were brimming with tears: "What can we think? You've already gone this far? Now that I think about it, when you were little, you only played with Xiao Yuenian. You were so close to him all the way through school, from elementary school to university. Everyone in the family thought it was because of your two older sisters that you two got along so well. Who would have thought of anything else? You, you're all so grown up now... I've always been at ease with what you do outside, but do you want me to be at ease... Why did you have to do this? I just want you to be well, to have a good life in the future..."
“Mom,” Cheng Bing said, her voice choked with emotion, “That’s right. When we were little, Fang Yuenian was my favorite friend. Later, we went to school together, lived in the school together, took the entrance exam for the top high school and then the college entrance exam. I can’t say how easy those days were. He had even more worries, but we were able to support each other… You want me to have a good life, but I’m doing just fine like this.”
“You may not be in trouble now, but in the future, when people point fingers at you and gossip about you, openly and behind your backs, they’ll make you look like…” Cheng Qiuyan abruptly stopped herself. “What are you going to do? Did you hear what your father said? Xiaoyuen’s mother, his grandmother, his father, think carefully, which one of them will support you?”
“Aunt Wang Jing,” Cheng Bing said, “already knows. In the hospital, she told Fang Yuenian to take good care of his two older sisters in the future. Also, she told him that if I am good to him, he should be good to me in return; if I am not good to him, he should keep that in mind and think more about himself.”
Cheng Qiuyan and Lin Guohui were completely stunned.
"Wh-what?" Lin Guohui couldn't believe it. "She, she knows..."
"I don't know how she found out, but she... didn't object."
Cheng Bing took a deep breath and rallied her spirits. "You're worried about what people will say about us? We can keep it a secret. No one else needs to know except our own family. To outsiders, we'll always be good friends and relatives. I won't let this become gossip in the village, and I certainly don't want you to be laughed at. We can pretend, even if it means using a few lies to cover it up. That's all we can do. As long as our closest family members accept us, I don't care about anything else." (Author's note: Thank you to my friend 9492239 for your support! For more exciting content, please leave a message for this book on Liancheng Reading.)
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