Real World: Postpartum Depression in Panda Rat
When Xiaodou put Bai Shenyuan's tie in her mouth for the 37th time, Ling Yuan's personality finally couldn't bear it anymore and tied her to the sofa with a tactical belt.
"Withdrawal reaction 48 hours." Lin Shen pushed up his glasses, and Xiaodou's brain wave data jumped on the holographic screen. "The biting desire index is 99.7%. It is recommended to activate 'Virtual Biter 2.0'."
Bai Yan Gege came closer, holding a pink chewer with a cartoon carrot pattern printed on it. "Here, bite this~ It has simulated honey flowing sound effects~"
Xiaodou's eyes lit up, and she opened her mouth and took a bite. Three seconds later, the LED light on the chewer went out, and the gear parts rolled out of her mouth, forming a crooked "hungry" on the carpet.
"...This is made of anti-cheating alloy." Lin Shen held his forehead.
Ling Yuan took out a spare dagger from his belt: "Try this, at least it won't be chewed into pieces."
Bai Yan immediately slapped his hand away: "No! What if you scratch Xiaodou's gums?"
The orange cat Snowball suddenly jumped onto the sofa and pressed Xiaodou's head with his paw. "You hair-shedding monster, if you chew on the sofa again, I'll throw you back into the game!" He fetched a wet wipe and wiped his paw vigorously like a panda playing mahjong. "Yesterday you chewed on the router, and today you bit a hole in Ling Yuan's tactical gloves—"
"Meow!" Xiaodou swung his tail in frustration, his fur ball sweeping the "Concept Mouse Parenting Manual" onto the coffee table. The pages flipped open, revealing a note from the GM: During the withdrawal period, you can use a stuffed toy as a substitute for chewing. Also, I recommend the "White Abyss Three Souls Pillow," which contains anti-chewing fibers extracted from real human hair.
The chip in the robotic cat suddenly popped up a prompt: "The number of users of the 'Cloud Chewing' app has exceeded one million!" It proudly displayed a virtual shelf with "Lingyuan Jiansuiwei Electronic Grass", "Baiyan Fox Fire Marshmallows", "Linshen Data Stream Mints" on it, and the slogan "Buy and get a free Panda Paw Kneading Milk Live Broadcast Replay" flashed with golden light.
"According to data analysis," Lin Shen's data stream swept across the backend, "37% of users used virtual snacks to give Xiaodou 'chewing combos,' 21% wrote 'Mom loves you' in the comments, and the rest..."
He suddenly coughed and closed the screen full of messages saying "I want to see the panda rat chewing on GM's beard".
Suddenly, a "click" sound came from the crib. Everyone turned around to see Shubao Tanggao happily chewing on the remote control, his saliva soaking the buttons until they were shiny. The TV screen suddenly flashed with snow, and the GM's secret channel popped up -
In the scene, the residents of Storybrooke are blindfolded with strips of cloth embroidered with the word "bitter," while a mechanical witch extracts their tears using a gear-driven juicer. In the far corner of the candy house, a girl in a tutu skirt, the same "sweet" rune embroidered on Azuki's wedding dress, hammers at the glass with a mechanical claw.
"Warning! Abnormal data flow detected in the Tiandao Archives!" The mechanical cat's gear tail spun frantically. "GM hasn't shut down the service at all. He's established a new data prison in Storybrooke!"
Xiaodou jerked free of her tactical belt and pressed her panda paw against the screen. The GM's handwriting appeared where she had gnawed, like a message written in honey on mist:
Can the cuteness of the concept mouse melt away the bitterness?
——Come and try to bite through the dark chocolate wall of Storybrooke~
Just as Ling Yuan was about to close the channel, the screen suddenly switched to the GM's desk. There lay the latest plush toy design: a White Abyss Three Souls doll wearing a panda hat, its joints marked "biteable areas." Next to it was the production log:
Attempt 108: Can you make a pillow that automatically feeds honey using Xiaodou’s virtual fur and the guardian’s hair?
Xiaodou's tail was suddenly caught on something. She turned around and saw half a chocolate bar sticking out from the crack in the sofa. The wrapper was printed with "Exclusive from Once Upon a Time, Bitter to the Point of Tears," and there were already a few faint panda tooth marks on the surface of the chocolate.
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