Chapter 23 Chapter 23 Jiang Chi, goodbye.
He is very young, and seems to be about the same age as them. At first glance, he looks like... the main character.
For a moment, Sheng Jianan was overwhelmed with thoughts and his mind was a little confused.
In his previous life, he was frail and sickly. During the two years he was ill, he lived in a small corner. His greatest interest was to look at the outside world through the small four-pane window.
Look at the blue sky, the trees, smell the flowers, listen to the birds singing, and occasionally there is the touching spring rain and beautiful winter snow.
On nights without these beautiful views, there would be some unwanted tattered books to keep him company. Looking at the words in the book, he seemed to see the wonderful world outside.
Although Sheng Jianan never complains about his life, he is very eager to go out and see the world. The only birthday wish he had ever made was that he hoped he would have the chance to go out and see the world.
Unfortunately, this wish was never realized.
On the night before he died of illness, Sheng Jianan just read an ordinary BL novel and felt a little sorry for his childhood sweetheart with the same name who had a similar temperament and personality to him.
The next day, he came here.
From the day he came into this world, Sheng Jianan reminded himself all the time that this opportunity was hard-won and he must cherish it. Living one more day means he can see one more glimpse of this beautiful world.
So from that time on he thought about avoiding Jiang Chi as much as possible, because this way he would not have the chance to repeat the mistakes of the little cannon fodder.
Unfortunately, things don't always go as planned. Jiang Chi was just too clingy, and Sheng Jianan was soft-hearted and soft-tempered, so she couldn't firmly drive him away every time.
Until later, Jiang Chi pulled him back from the hands of death several times.
At that time, Sheng Jianan knew that his bond with Jiang Chi was doomed, because without Jiang Chi he would have died earlier.
But even if we can't control our fate, at least we can control our emotions, right? Then he must remember not to fall in love with Jiang Chi.
In this way, he can face everything calmly and wait for the protagonist to appear naturally. At that time, he will return Jiang Chi, who he has borrowed for more than ten years, to him, and take the initiative to leave Xiacheng and avoid the trajectory of the original novel.
He did do very well in the beginning, but he overestimated himself and underestimated the more than ten years of daily life together, and actually thought he could control his own emotions.
However, the fact is that he has already been deeply involved in countless days and nights of intimacy.
If the past ten years or so had been a kind of numbness to himself, then this time he felt a real fear, the fear of losing Jiang Chi soon.
But they have been together for fifteen years, fifteen years of being together day and night, more than five thousand days and nights, and they have never been apart for a single day.
Why should he be forced to leave? Why should he give Jiang Chi to someone else?
What's love at first sight? What's the protagonist being the victim? Can novels be completely illogical?
From the first time Jiang Chi saw him at the age of five, he developed a strong possessiveness and desire to protect him, to when he fell in love with the protagonist at first sight and couldn't stop, to the point where he abandoned his childhood friend who had been close to him for many years, not a single point is reasonable!
-
Sheng Jianan subconsciously developed an escapist mentality, and before the protagonist could react, he turned around and walked out of the banquet hall.
For the first time, he had some evil thoughts. If he doesn't let Jiang Chi meet the protagonist, can he delay Jiang Chi's feelings? Then could he have Jiang Chi for an extra hour, a day, or a week...
Sheng Jianan's mind became more and more confused. He walked out quickly, through the central garden and straight to the gate. Like trying to escape from all of this.
The elders passing by on the road all gave him their respectful glances.
"Whose child is this? He's so handsome."
"I heard that Mr. Mi's grandson came back from abroad? Is this it?"
"No, he's so pretty, this must be the kid from the Jiang family. There are two of them, one is really cool, and the other is this one. I heard that the two kids used to hold hands wherever they went, and the other one wouldn't let anyone hold this one, it's so cute. Sure enough, he'll be pretty when he grows up. Does he have a date? Go ask around, I'll be a matchmaker for you."
As soon as Sheng Jianan walked out of the gate, before he could get confused, he heard Jiang Chi chasing after him: "Sheng Nannan."
Sheng Jianan paused and stood still. Jiang Chi ran up to him and said, "Sheng Nanan, what's wrong with you? Why did you run away without saying a word? You wanted to scare me to death. Fortunately, my mother..."
He stopped talking halfway, Jiang Chi paused, lifted Sheng Jianan's chin, and saw tears in his eyes.
Such a big baby has been pampered by both families since childhood and has never cried. Jiang Chi was frightened when he saw Sheng Jianan's tears, and his heart instantly tightened.
He immediately thought of the only possibility and became furious.
"Who bullied you? Where is my mother? Didn't she help you?" Jiang Chi immediately took out his cell phone and prepared to call his mother.
His mother often said that she couldn't find a chance to chat with Sheng Jianan, and that Jiang Chi was too stingy and refused to spend any time with her. What's the result? It was a rare occasion for him to hand someone over to her, but in just a few minutes, Sheng Jianan was bullied and cried!
Jiang Chi was almost mad with anger. As expected, he still has to watch it himself. He will stand by and see who dares to bully Sheng Jianan! He has been with Sheng Jianan since he was a child, and except when he was sick, no one could make him cry!
"No." Sheng Jianan quickly stopped his hand from making the call, "No one bullies me."
Jiang Chi didn't quite believe it. Seeing a tear rolling down his cheek, he reached out and gently wiped it away for him. He suppressed his emotions and coaxed him in a gentle tone: "Sheng Nannan, tell me honestly, why are you crying? You have never cried since you were a child. Did someone bully you?"
Sheng Jianan shook his head.
Jiang Chi looked at him.
After a long while, Sheng Jianan reluctantly made up a seemingly appropriate yet inappropriate excuse: "I just saw a lot of small cakes in there."
Jiang Chi stared at him, afraid to miss any sign of grievance on his face.
"I just remembered that I seldom eat cakes bought outside," said Sheng Jianan. "Because of my poor physical condition, I have not eaten much junk food since I was a child. I suddenly felt sad when I thought about it and felt very miserable."
After saying that, Sheng Jianan raised his eyes and saw Jiang Chi was still looking at him, with a hint of suspicion in his eyes.
After a while, Jiang Chi asked, "Really?"
Sheng Jianan nodded, raised his eyes, and looked at Jiang Chi with his slightly red and moist eyes: "What else?"
Jiang Chi couldn't stand Sheng Jianan's eyes the most. They were watery and looked so innocent. She was clearly not acting like a spoiled child, but it was more like acting like a spoiled child, and it softened his heart so much that he instantly lost all his rational thinking.
How can it be so cute? It’s so cute. Jiang Chi thought that a hundred years from now his epitaph must say that he was killed by Sheng Jianan.
Jiang Chi hugged Sheng Jianan into his arms, rubbing his head against his hair, and couldn't help laughing: "Why are there still people who envy those who eat junk food? Aren't you questioning Auntie's cooking skills? Aren't the cakes and cookies Auntie made delicious?"
Sheng Jianan: "...You can eat, so of course you are not envious."
"Sheng Nannan, do you have a heart?" Jiang Chi said angrily, "Tell me, when have I not eaten the same thing as you? Whatever you eat, I will eat your leftovers."
It seems so. Jiang Chi has rarely eaten alone. Sheng Jianan thought about it, still feeling nervous, and buried her face in Jiang Chi's arms without saying a word.
Seeing their intimate behavior, Jiang Chi didn't care if passers-by occasionally passed by and looked at them: "Then I'll look for a good cake shop and take you to eat cake after dinner?"
Sheng Jianan's heart suddenly skipped a beat, and he immediately said, "I don't want to eat."
"That won't do." Jiang Chi pinched his waist with one hand and said, "If you don't eat, I'll hold your hand when I sleep at night."
"...Then you don't have to hug me." Sheng Jianan said.
"That's even worse." Jiang Chi smiled and said confidently, "I will definitely hug him, no matter where he is."
"..." Sheng Jianan thought seriously for two seconds, wondering whether Jiang Chi had just made a dirty joke or if his mind was already colored by it.
Eating is a big deal for Sheng Jianan. Jiang Chi thought about it and asked, "What do you want to eat? Noodles? The crab roe noodles you said were delicious last time?"
Sheng Jianan paused and nodded.
For him now, anything he eats is fine as long as he doesn't go back.
"Okay, then I'll call my mom." Jiang Chi said with a smile, "Tell her that a kid is really greedy, so I'm going to sneak him out to eat some cake."
-
Jiang Chi found a cake shop online that had high reviews, and the two took a taxi there.
When he arrived at the store, Jiang Chi ordered every kind of cake and spread out the entire table.
After delivering all the cakes, the waiter looked at them several times. It was probably the first time he saw such generous guests, and his eyes seemed to reflect the word "luxurious".
After the waiter left, Sheng Jianan looked at the dazzling array of small cakes in front of him and asked, "There are so many, how can the two of us finish them all?"
"You want to eat it, so try a bite of each and I'll eat the rest," Jiang Chi said.
Sheng Jianan glanced at him and said, "You're going to die of obesity."
"That's just enough for me to carry you up 100 floors every day." Jiang Chi teased him.
Sheng Jianan ignored his joke, tore open the wrapper of the spoon, and scooped a spoonful of the chestnut cake in front of him.
Jiang Chi watched him put the spoon into his mouth, and suddenly thought that making this spoon would be a good idea. He couldn't help but laugh, thinking to himself that he had a weird mentality.
"How is it? Is it delicious?" Jiang Chi asked.
Sheng Jianan nodded: "Not bad, slightly sweet."
"Let me try it." Jiang Chi raised his chin and moved closer.
Sheng Jianan directly handed him a spoon and a piece of chestnut cake.
Jiang Chi glanced at the spoon handed to him and raised his chin lazily: "No, just feed me directly."
"You don't want to eat?" Sheng Jianan glanced at the cakes and said, "There are so many cakes, you must need a spoon."
"No." Jiang Chi was unreasonable, "I want yours."
Sheng Jianan turned his head to look at him.
Seeing this, Jiang Chi looked back, raised his eyebrows, and deliberately said fiercely: "Why, do you have any objections? It's not okay to have an objection, I just want to eat the same handful with you."
He couldn't help but smile as his tone and expression showed a hint of laughter.
Sheng Jianan looked at him twice again, then ignored him and lowered his head to continue eating the cake.
He was thinking that he and Jiang Chi ate and slept together every day, tasted each other's saliva, and touched each other's naked bodies. Last week, Jiang Chi even helped him and did more intimate things. There was an unbridgeable fifteen years and a long and intimate distance between them.
Everyone knows that they are inseparable.
Just like this, can the protagonist accept Jiang Chi without any gaps? Is it really not disgusting? He put himself in the other's shoes. If he was the protagonist, and had no foreknowledge of transmigrating into a book, would he accept a boyfriend like Jiang Chi?
I can't seem to come up with the answer. Although Jiang Chi was very good, very good, he also felt very uncomfortable. Because in the eyes of outsiders, it must be an irreplaceable existence.
So the protagonist was also disgusted, but his disgust was to eliminate the cannon fodder and solve Jiang Chi’s past in another way.
Just when Sheng Jianan was concentrating on his thoughts, a hand reached out and wiped the corner of his mouth.
Sheng Jianan paused, turned his head, and saw Jiang Chi put the cream on his finger into his mouth.
After taking a sip, she looked at him, savored it, and said, "Sheng Nannan, why are you so sweet?"
"..." Sheng Jianan blinked, "The cake is sweet."
"Really?" Jiang Chi acted a little skeptical, lifted his wrist, and ate the spoonful of cake he had just scooped out of his spoon.
After eating, he frowned and said, "You are lying. It has no taste at all. It is obviously you who is sweet."
Sheng Jianan was used to his routine, so she ignored him and continued to eat her cake with her head down. However, Jiang Chi, who had been ignored by him for a long time, refused to give in. He dragged one foot over his chair, hooked his hands, and directly hugged him in his arms.
They were sitting in the leisure area of the cake shop. There were shop assistants outside. Sheng Jianan was forced to sit on his lap and couldn't help but push him: "Jiang Chi, what are you doing? This is a public place."
"With the prices at this cake shop, how can this be considered a public place?" Jiang Chi held Sheng Jianan tightly with both hands, not giving him a chance to escape, and said with a smile, "Don't move, Sheng Nannan, just give me a hug, what's wrong with that?"
As he spoke, his gaze at Sheng Jianan suddenly dropped down to below the tip of his nose.
There was a touch of bright red velvet, printed in the center of the light pink lips, which was particularly eye-catching.
Jiang Chi couldn't help but roll his Adam's apple.
Sheng Jianan noticed his gaze and probably knew that there was cake on his lips, so he licked them subconsciously.
The pink little tongue quickly hooked outward and gently licked away the glaring red.
Jiang Chi had felt this touch before, soft, slippery, slightly warm, gently brushing across his shoulders.
This feeling made Sheng Jianan feel awkward. She put her hands on Jiang Chi's shoulders and stepped back a little: "Have you seen enough?"
Jiang Chi then raised his eyes and looked at him for a moment, then suddenly smiled, wailed with an unknown meaning, and buried his face in Sheng Jianan's neck.
Sheng Jianan: “…”
What disease has struck again?
Jiang Chi laughed twice in the crook of his neck, with a hint of joy in his voice, and then he bit his neck lightly.
Then he moved upwards and bit him a few more times, all gently, as if he was playing, biting inch by inch until he reached the jawline. He rubbed his nose against his cheek a few times and sighed.
It's sweet and fragrant, how can it smell so good?
Jiang Chi sniffed Sheng Jianan over and over again and felt that none of the cakes on the table were as sweet and delicious as the smell of Sheng Jianan. It fascinated and addicted him, making him want to press him on the bed and lick him over and over again.
-
After returning home from eating, Sheng Jianan sent Jiang Chi back first, saying that he needed to take a shower and the bathroom was too crowded.
After Jiang Chi left, Sheng Jianan lowered his eyes and stood there for a while.
Although because of his despicable means, he was able to spend two more days with Jiang Chi. But this stolen happiness is short-lived and wearying, like a fleeting shadow that can be easily exposed. He still has to have another plan.
Sheng Jianan was stunned for a while, walked to the wardrobe, opened it and looked inside, preparing to pack a few of his favorite clothes into his suitcase in case of emergency. After all, clothes are a big expense. He only has 100,000 yuan in total, and he has to pay for rent and daily expenses.
Having made up his mind, Sheng Jianan dragged out his suitcase, packed a few summer clothes of the same style as Jiang Chi, and took out a few winter clothes.
Because Jiang Chi might come over at any time, Sheng Jianan acted quickly. In order to prevent Jiang Chi from suddenly jumping in from the windowsill, he kept paying attention to the sounds in the corridor while cleaning up.
If there was any noise, he could immediately close the suitcase and kick it under the bed. This way you won't be discovered.
"Sheng Nannan, I'm here." The door was pushed open with a bang.
Sheng Jianan, who had just started clacking his abacus, straightened his back.
I have been climbing through the window for more than ten years, why did I choose to come in through the door today? Sheng Jianan couldn't help but wonder, has he really become cannon fodder to this extent? Nothing went as he wished.
"What are you doing, Sheng Nannan?" Jiang Chi walked in, walked up to him, and looked at the suitcase. "Why are you taking summer clothes?"
Because he was too nervous, Sheng Jianan's brain was slow to react and he didn't know what to say.
"Hmm?" Jiang Chi pulled him closer, tilted his head, and looked at his expression. "Something's wrong with you. Are you planning to run away from home?"
Hearing this, Sheng Jianan's heart started pounding, wondering if Jiang Chi had seen through it. Could this be the golden finger that the protagonist is rumored to have?
Just when he was so nervous that his expression was about to collapse, Jiang Chi hugged him from behind with a smile, put his chin on his shoulder, and urged him lazily: "Tell me, Sheng Nannan, what are you going to do."
Hearing this, Sheng Jianan breathed a sigh of relief and thought quickly: "...I saw that there are many children in the mountainous areas who have no clothes to wear. It just so happens that I have a lot of clothes, so I want to donate these clothes that I don't usually wear to them."
"Okay." Jiang Chi agreed happily, "Then I'll go with you to send it tomorrow morning. After that, we'll go shopping and buy you a new one."
He glanced down as he spoke, paused, and his expression instantly fell: "... Sheng Nannan, are you going to donate all the clothes that are the same as mine?"
Sheng Jianan: “…”
Actually it’s a souvenir.
"Okay." Jiang Chi let go of him, crossed his arms, leaned against the closet, and began to condemn, "I want to wear three pieces of clothes a day, but you actually want to donate all the clothes we have. Sheng Jianan, you are really cruel."
“…Then don’t donate it.” Sheng Jianan said. I took out the clothes and hung them back one by one. This will save you from having to donate everything tomorrow morning.
These clothes witnessed the countless wonderful years he and Jiang Chi had spent together, and he was reluctant to part with them.
When Sheng Jianan hung the clothes back one by one, Jiang Chi leaned beside him and watched, still looking dissatisfied.
After hanging up, she hugged Sheng Jianan and kept muttering to herself for a long time, all her words condemning his cruelty. This made Sheng Jianan think that he was a scumbag who had just slept with him and was about to run away irresponsibly.
-
After packing his clothes, Sheng Jianan went to take a shower. When he came out, Jiang Chi was already lying on his bed, with one hand supporting half of his face, in a reclining Buddha posture.
Seeing him come out, she patted the bed beside her and said with a smile: "Come, I'll warm the bed for you."
Sheng Jianan wiped the slightly damp hair, hung the towel on the coat rack beside him, and then climbed into the warm bed.
As soon as he saw him lying down, Jiang Chi immediately hugged him in his arms. This was simply the happiest moment for him every night.
Jiang Chi was shirtless, and his body temperature was a little hot, which made people feel warm. It was very comfortable in this season. Sheng Jianan couldn't help but snuggle in his arms.
Sleeping in the warm bed, Sheng Jianan suddenly remembered something and asked, "Jiang Chi, do you have a four-piece suit for winter in your room?"
He vaguely remembered that Jiang's mother often complained that Jiang Chi did not go back to sleep at night and was too lazy to change his four-piece suit.
"No." Jiang Chi wrapped Sheng Jianan, who had just finished a bath and was fragrant and soft, and felt very satisfied. "My mom said that even if I changed it, I wouldn't sleep, and it would be troublesome, so she doesn't change it now."
After saying that, Jiang Chi lowered his head and kissed Sheng Jianan on the top of his head, then kissed her again, and said with a smile: "Let her do whatever she wants, I won't sleep anyway, I'll sleep wherever you sleep."
Sheng Jianan hugged his back and listened to him talk, his eyes staring at a certain place without focus, as if he was in a daze, or as if he was empty.
After a moment, he buried his face in Jiang Chi's chest and took a deep sniff, trying to remember the smell.
This is Jiang Chi’s smell, which once belonged to him briefly, but will belong to another person in the future.
-
After a night, Sheng Jianan opened his eyes in the misty morning light, and saw Jiang Chi's hard chest in front of him.
Although he had seen it countless times and drawn it many times, he was already used to it. But this was the first time he wanted to touch it, to remember his texture and lines, to be able to clearly outline every inch of him in the future.
However, just two seconds after Sheng Jianan's hand touched Jiang Chi, he moved suddenly, turned over and pressed him under him in the next second.
Jiang Chi had just woken up, his brows slightly furrowed, his eyes deep, staring down at him condescendingly. He looked very different from usual. He exuded an oppressive feeling and showed a powerful presence.
Sheng Jianan turned over and tried to hide to the side, but was easily turned back by him.
While rolling, Sheng Jianan raised his knees slightly and accidentally bumped into something, and Jiang Chi gasped.
Sheng Jianan paused, raised his eyes and looked at Jiang Chi.
Jiang Chi narrowed his eyes slightly, paused for two seconds, and warned fiercely in a low voice: "Sheng Nannan, I'll spare you this time. If you provoke me again next time, I will not be polite to you."
Sheng Nannan: “…”
After saying that, he got up and went to the bathroom.
-
Both Sheng Jianan and Jiang Chi don’t like to play much, or rather, Sheng Jianan doesn’t like to play much, so Jiang Chi doesn’t like to play much either.
They prefer to spend most of their break time together chatting or watching a movie. For Jiang Chi, being able to hug Sheng Jianan is more satisfying than playing anything else. I never get bored no matter how long I stay there.
Every day passes in such a dizzy and happy time, and in the blink of an eye, the two-day weekend break is about to pass.
In the evening, when Sheng Jianan and Jiang Chi were packing their luggage and preparing to return to school, Jiang Chi was called back home by his mother.
So Sheng Jianan was left alone to clean up. They had only been back for two days and did not bring much luggage. They only carried a schoolbag each. They stuffed all the food and daily necessities into the two schoolbags, and in the end Jiang Chi carried the luggage alone.
When Sheng Jianan finished packing, Jiang Chi had not come back yet, so he simply sat on the bed and played with his phone for a while.
Not long after they started playing, Jiang Chi came in with a piece of chocolate in his hand and fed it to Sheng Jianan's mouth.
Sheng Jianan bit the chocolate and said incoherently, "Let's go."
"Nannan, let's go back to school tomorrow." Jiang Chi said, "I need to go out for a while, you wait for me at home. My dad will take us there tomorrow morning."
Sheng Jianan tilted his head and looked at him, his face expressionless.
Jiang Chi looked at this pretty face. Even without any expression, it was very, very cute.
Jiang Chi leaned down, got close to him, pecked his cheek, and said, "Wait for me to come back, and don't sneak out to play by yourself, understand?"
Sheng Jianan was silent for a moment, then nodded.
"So good." Jiang Chi pinched his face and said something else, but Sheng Jianan didn't hear clearly.
He only saw Jiang Chi open his door, walk out, and close it again.
From now on... this door will never be opened again.
Sheng Jianan's tears suddenly flowed down, and she couldn't hold them back, tears kept falling. He simply pulled the quilt over his head and hid in the bed. But still couldn't stop crying.
This was the first time Jiang Chi went out without him since he was a child.
He couldn't stop it, he couldn't stop it at all. The outcome was already determined and he was powerless to change anything.
Sheng Jianan sobbed in the quilt. This was the first time he had really cried since he was a child. He couldn't stop the tears, as if they would never stop flowing. I cried until I was out of strength and gradually stopped.
After resting for a while, when Sheng Jianan lifted the quilt with red eyes and looked out the window, it was already dark.
Jiang Chi hasn't come back yet.
It’s really not something that should be expected. You already know the ending, don't you? Why do we have to force even a little bit?
Sheng Jianan threw back the quilt, climbed out of bed and began to pack his luggage.
If in the past he wanted to escape purely for the sake of survival and out of fear for the suffering of the protagonist, then at this moment he might have also been a little angry.
At this moment, he truly understood the feelings of the little cannon fodder and why he lived such a painful life. Because for some feelings, we would rather never have had them than accept having them and then losing them.
He didn't want to, really didn't want to, see Jiang Chi again. It was he who made him gay, and it was he who abandoned him in the end.
He didn't want to see any so-called destiny between the top and the bottom protagonists.
He was originally a bystander of this world and just happened to pass by.
-
Boys don’t have much luggage. Sheng Jianan only has some daily clothes and daily necessities, as well as some expensive supplements. Just enough to fit a large suitcase.
After packing his luggage, Sheng Jianan turned on his computer and set a schedule to send the leave of absence materials he had prepared in advance to his counselor's email.
After sending the email, he took out a painting and a letter from the bottom drawer of the cabinet.
At this time, his parents usually go out for a walk and it will probably take them a while to come back. Sheng Jianan took the letter and walked to his parents' room. He looked around the room, bowed deeply, and silently apologized in his heart.
He believed that after reading the letter, his parents would understand him.
After leaving his parents' room, Sheng Jianan returned to his own room, put on a baseball cap and a mask, and finally looked around the room, paused slightly, and walked to the desk.
On the desk was the birthday gift he left for Jiang Chi.
A painting.
The painting shows Jiang Chi in high school. He won the basketball game against the senior class. The classmates around him were cheering and applauding for him, but Jiang Chi was the only one looking at him through the crowd.
This scene remained in Sheng Jianan's mind for a long time.
Just like this novel.
He is the protagonist of this world, and he is his audience.
The protagonist will one day enter his own world, and the audience can only cheer for him from the sidelines.
Sheng Jianan stared at Jiang Chi in the painting for a long time, until his eyes were about to become moist again. He pulled up his mask and said in a muffled voice, "Happy birthday."
-
The lights are coming on and the hustle and bustle of this bustling city has just begun.
Sheng Jianan was fully armed, and only his fingers, pushing the luggage, glowed white in the dark.
After walking a few steps, he looked back at the place that once belonged to them.
Then the figure stepped into the night.
Jiang Chi.
goodbye.
*
The author has something to say:
Still 50 red envelopes~
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