Chapter 1 The Vase Substitute
[Fish Circle Big Windmill: Guests for "Star Journey Season 3": Meng, Gu, An (confirmed), twb, fyl, lqt (under negotiation). This lineup is something to look forward to!]
[Decoding Meng Xinqiu, Gu Jiming, An Shigou, Tang Wanbai, Lin Qingtong! And is there another one, Fu Yanle?]
【Fu Yanle? Who?】
[Replying to the comment above: Fu Yanle—a top influencer in Xuandu TV's beauty section who gains fans and gets criticized the moment he shows his face; a lazy monthly uploader whose popularity surpasses even daily uploaders; a mischievous little devil whose appearance always sparks a brawl between haters and fans; the self-proclaimed "Little Lin Qingtong," the king of impersonation; a foul-mouthed vase with no redeeming qualities other than his face and body—I'm not going to say anything more, I'm going to rewatch the little devil's live stream replays, I miss him.]
[Star Movement is a national variety show. Why invite a small internet celebrity from Xuandu TV when there are so many young and handsome men in the industry? Whose back is this "Porcelain King" currently sitting on, putting in all this effort?]
[Fu Yanle, incomparably beautiful: I'll dance on your grave, no need to thank me. You lowly idiot, may you never rest in peace. (Busy frog.jpg)]
Relying on your looks won't last. While you're young, find a sugar daddy to pay for your services and learn a couple of skills. I'm doing this for your own good!
[Fu Yanle, incomparably beautiful: A large sum of money is better than empty words of concern; what kind of jerk are you, spouting sarcasm? (Frog pooping.jpg)]
Fu Yanle sat on the toilet with his phone in hand, generously returning a loving greeting to "Lin Qingtong's wife" and "Lin Qingtong's husband," while inwardly kicking this family of three, who practiced "monogamy," off the planet.
After a while, the bathroom door was pushed open.
"The Lu family's wine is really potent. Let's hide here for a while."
"Why didn't I see Young Master Fu today? It's Old Master Lu's birthday, how could he not come?"
Fu Shao sat in the cubicle, playing a match-3 simulation game as if facing a formidable enemy.
"Young Master Fu is definitely here. Su Fengyao and Lin Qingtong are both here too. If it weren't for Young Master Fu's sake, would Young Master Lu have let these two in?"
"If Su Fengyao hadn't shamelessly fawned over Young Master Fu, the Su family would have been finished long ago. He's just a lapdog; who is he trying to impress with his glamorous act?"
"Hasn't Su Fengyao always been like that? Always pretending to be gentle and refined, a true gentleman. Young Master Fu wasn't always so naive, so how come he's suddenly been completely charmed by him? It's one thing to keep giving the Su family financial aid, but today he even let Lin Qingtong, this illegitimate child, in. What is Young Master Fu thinking?"
"Love is like a cup of wine; anyone who drinks it will get drunk. Young Master Fu must have drunk the entire lotus pond in the Lu family dry, otherwise he wouldn't have gotten so drunk that his IQ has turned into a negative number."
Just as he was about to die on the same level for the second time, Fu Yanle clicked his tongue, spent real money to buy three small hammers, cleared the level directly, and then exchanged the stars for a light purple sofa.
"I also heard that Su Fengyao plans to confess to Young Master Fu and ordered a whole truckload of roses."
"Weren't they already together?"
"That's just a rumor. Don't you know who spread it? Su Fengyao has completely taken advantage of Young Master Fu. Who knows, Young Master Fu might get carried away with love and hand over all his assets to a dog. Su Fengyao could then make a comeback and dump Young Master Fu again—that would be the biggest joke of all!"
"That can't be, right?"
"Yes, that's how it's written in 'The Substitute Lover: 99 Days of Torture'."
"To be honest, if I were more powerful than Young Master Fu, I'd fucking kill Su Fengyao. Young Master Fu is as beautiful as a flower, how could I let this bastard get away with it?"
"Clatter".
Fu Yanle pushed open the door to the cubicle and walked to the sink. He turned to wipe his hands, looked at the two dumbfounded people, then threw the crumpled paper into the bin, and patted them on the shoulder as he passed by.
Both of them shuddered simultaneously.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Fu, but Mr. Su is the most handsome and talented man in the world. You two are a match made in heaven, a perfect couple."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Fu. Mr. Su is the most innocent and affectionate person in the world. I wish you both a happy and long-lasting life together."
"...Kill him, and I'll reward you handsomely—I guarantee that." Fu Yanle said gently, cupping their heads and pulling them closer together. "Send me the link to 'Substitute Lover: 99 Days of Torture' on WeChat."
After saying that, Fu Yanle released the two heads and brushed past them.
Just a few steps out of the restroom, Fu Yanle heard the sound of the door closing and being locked from the inside. Less than half a minute later, an unknown WeChat friend sent him a link.
Fu Yanle clicked on the link, put the novel on the bookshelf, took a few more steps, and reached out to push open the door to the small terrace.
Autumn in Nandu is characterized by continuous drizzle. Whenever the gloomy clouds are torn apart, the rain pours down incessantly. The flowerbeds are battered and withered, while the corridors on both sides are filled with carefully dressed guests, who gather in twos and threes, clinking glasses and chatting.
Fu Yanle looked at the ladies' long dresses, some with straps and others with backs, from afar and shuddered with a sense of shared experience.
Today is the birthday of the Lu family patriarch. Fu Yanle and the young master of the Lu family are brothers who survived under the patriarch's iron fist. They have a deep friendship from childhood, and naturally they are among the invited guests.
After Lu Minghe finished the fake social process, he followed the scent to the small terrace on the second floor, where Fu Yanle was leaning against the terrace, striking a pose.
The wine glass in his hand was tilted, with the last drop of wine clinging to the rim, teetering precariously. His white shirt was lasciviously open at the collar, revealing a wide silver chain resting on his collarbone. The lines of his upper body were faintly visible, his buttocks encased in his trousers, firm and shapely, with the shirt clip still peeking out slightly from the trouser leg.
Luckily, I'm the kind of lecher who doesn't prey on those close to him.
Lu Minghe genuinely applauded his own principles and resilience. The most awesome thing he had ever done in his life was that he hadn't managed to get Fu Yanle into bed.
Fu Yanle swirled his wine glass. "Stop drooling with your wicked yet sincere saliva. Dad's cold."
"So that's why it suddenly started raining. Turns out you've scared the moon away." Lu Minghe lifted the bespoke suit from the back of the chair and wrapped Fu Yanle up like a thin rice dumpling.
"Goose!" Fu Yanle let out a hiccup in the wind.
"Your fiancé is raising funds everywhere, why don't you go down and help him?" Lu Minghe scoffed. "I might as well hold a charity gala right here and now, so that all the guests who came to celebrate the old man's birthday today will give our young master Fu some face and each contribute some money to revitalize the Su family, what do you think?"
Fu Yanle pressed his gaze into the gloomy rain, remaining silent for a full half minute before sighing, "Why would a beast become my boyfriend? Even if I peed on you when I was a kid, I don't deserve this."
"Huh?" Lu Minghe reached out and slapped Fu Yanle's forehead hard. "You don't have a fever! Didn't you say that once Su Fengyao confessed to you, you would officially start dating him and use the inheritance your mother left you to help the Su family?"
Fu Yanle slapped away Lu Minghe's hand, which was covered in various perfumes. "Lu Yuanfang, what do you think?"
“Three words: Fuck your daddy.” Lu Minghe was genuinely impressed, making an international friendship gesture as he poked Fu Yanle’s forehead. “You’re a romantic! No, that’s too kind of you, you’re a hopeless romantic! Single-celled organism! IQ basin! Your brain was kicked 360 degrees by a donkey!”
Fu Yanle clutched his chest and took three steps back, his finger trembling as it pointed at Lu Minghe as if it were the most prized possession displayed in a sex shop.
"Lu Beicheng, you're so ruthless!"
Seeing Fu Yanle's delicate and beautiful face instantly lengthen, turning into a gaudy but impractical tablecloth, Lu Minghe's heart softened.
"To put it bluntly, it wasn't a 360-degree combo kick, just a 180-degree flat kick." Lu Minghe reached out and flicked Fu Yanle's tuft of hair. "You have an inheritance on your left, shares on your right, and your forehead screams 'easy to fool.' It would be a waste of your stupidity, or rather—your kindness—if Su Fengyao didn't deceive you. He even wants to use your influence, Young Master Fu, to make the Su family rise again. To put it bluntly, you're just a tool, or rather—a philanthropist."
This was the 10086th time Lu Minghe had told Young Master Fu the cruel truth, but in the previous 10085 times he had only received a suspicious look from Young Master Fu and the dramatic and baffling line, "I don't believe it. Brother Fengyao really likes me. After all, I'm so good."
But not this time.
Fu Yanle's gaze was calm and deep, which made Lu Minghe shiver in the autumn night. Just then, a gust of wind blew, and goosebumps rose all over his body.
"What's wrong?" Lu Minghe crossed his arms warily. "You're not going to smash your wine glass and stab me in the throat just because I revealed the cruel truth, are you?"
“Our friendship is stronger than steel! If I were to send you to hell, I would do it in the gentlest, most tender, and bloodless way.” Fu Yanle paused. “However, you’ve enlightened me; I understand now!”
Lu Minghe opened his mouth wide, showing Fu Yanle his bright red, glistening throat—"Huh?"
What does that mean? I've realized!
Holy crap, this is even more shocking than the old man agreeing to let him keep a young starlet!
After all, the spoiled and domineering young master Fu must have been bewitched by some evil spirit. Not only did he fall in love with Su Fengyao at first sight, but he was also coaxed into becoming a terrible love-struck little simp. He not only allowed Su Fengyao to use him and help the bankrupt Su family survive until now, but this time, in order to create a persona in front of Su Fengyao, he even forced him to send an invitation to Lin Qingtong.
Of course, Fu Shao's idiotic behavior could fill an entire PowerPoint template.
Lu Minghe had suspected countless times that Su Fengyao had bewitched Fu Yanle, after all, Fu Yanle had exuded a stupid and dejected cannon fodder aura after meeting Su Fengyao.
But what does this mean?
Lu Minghe immediately took two steps back, spread his arms wide, and summoned invisible wings. "What kind of demon has possessed my brother? Come out and receive my bow!"
"Get lost! Your father wasn't possessed." Fu Yanle said quietly: It was your father who was reborn.
Fu Yanle died in a car accident caused by brake failure in his previous life. After death, he awakened to the truth that he was a character in a BL novel.
The protagonist is a transmigrator. The original owner, Lin Qingtong, was the unfortunate child of his scumbag father's extramarital affair with his sister-in-law, who was born before him.
After transmigrating into a book, the protagonist is determined to rise from a nobody to a top star and become the legitimate young master of the Fu family. He completely changes the original owner's self-destructive cannon fodder character, exuding a rich and mellow charm that captivates the male protagonists, making them fall in love at first sight and yearn for him day and night.
The male protagonists, who are the dominant ones, cannot have the female protagonists who possess the "Level 10 Certificate in Playing Hard to Get" and bite the corner of their blankets every night, turning their longing into an ocean.
The male protagonists, who are both tops and bottoms, want to win over the male protagonist and also want to help him. So they all thought of one person—Fu Yanle.
He is Lin Qingtong's half-brother; he is the young master of the Fu family who holds a large number of shares; he is the villain who has embarrassed Lin Qingtong many times; he is the chosen stepping stone for the protagonist; he is the exclusive object for their longing for their white moonlight!
So, Su Fengyao, the first to attack, took the initiative and used his superb acting skills, comparable to those of Meng Xinqiu, the youngest triple crown actor in the entertainment industry, to play the role of a gentle pursuer and a caring older brother, thus making the lovestruck young man fall in love.
No, it's a simp-like, love-struck type of person! A substitute for a bumper car from Pinduoduo!
In short, through various underhanded tactics of exploiting a woman's affections, Su Fengyao used him to turn the tables and achieve a reversal of fortune for the Su family. Together with the other two male leads, he helped Lin Qingtong transform from an illegitimate child into a legitimate one. The main characters reaped both love and career success, while he ended up penniless, heartbroken, and dying in a car accident.
Goose! A bunch of worthless thieves!
Fu Yanle punched Lu Minghe in the butt, then turned and rushed outside, his momentum comparable to that of Jerry's three distant relatives.
Lu Minghe, clutching his buttocks, followed, asking, "Where are we going?"
Fu Yanle reached out and pulled Lu Minghe into his arms, gritting his teeth and saying in a sinister tone, "Do you know what will happen tonight in the last lounge on the second floor?"
Lu Minghe shrank his neck. "Ghosts eat human skin?"
"Is that all you've got?" Fu Yanle said mysteriously. "'Young Master Fu's soon-to-be boyfriend' and my 'good brother' will be filming the first half of their love movie there."
"What?!" Lu Minghe immediately let out a loud rooster crow, grabbed Fu Yanle by the back of the neck and pulled him forward, casually pulling out the belt from his waist and swinging it twice in the air. "Catch them in the act! These two bastards are definitely no good beasts!"
"The great task is entrusted to you." Fu Yanle used his weight to stop himself. "I have other plans."
"What could be more important than catching someone in the act!" Lu Minghe's face turned as red as a lychee peel. "Baby, are you out of your mind? How can you still laugh like that!"
Fu Yanle was indeed furious, but having been through the baptism of death, he was convinced that he had matured and was now a qualified villain.
A qualified villain never acts impulsively; he must possess a sophisticated and composed demeanor!
"The way to get revenge on Su Fengyao is very direct: make sure the Su family can never recover," Fu Yanle said gently. "What about Lin Qingtong?"
Lu Minghe scoffed, "Let's make sure he can't make it in the entertainment industry."
"This is from both a career and emotional perspective," Fu Yanle said enigmatically. "A true wise person knows how to categorize and discuss these issues."
"I understand." Lu Minghe revealed the standard wicked smile of a villain. "Cut off their penises, tie them together, and feed them to the dogs. Let them watch it with their own eyes, and then write a 10,000-word review and read it aloud with great emotion!"
“Hey! Outlaw Lu San, as expected of you, and—” Fu Yanle’s eyes shifted downwards, a similar wicked smile appearing on his lips, “Your zipper is open.”
Lu Minghe suddenly squeezed his legs together, looking aggrieved and self-consciously pigeon-toed, and moved to the side to tie his belt.
Fu Yanle's smile vanished. Before he died, he learned a secret that was precisely the key to taking revenge on Lin Qingtong emotionally—
Lin Qingtong, who is madly in love with three men, actually harbors a secret crush: Yu Jingchen, the head of the Yu family.
The Yu family is an old and prestigious family, a golden palace, and Yu Jingchen, as the head of the family, is the most dazzling golden egg in that palace. Unfortunately, however, Yu Jingchen doesn't fit the author's protagonist setting; he's merely a peripheral character who appears twice.
Yu Jingchen's first appearance was at the old man's birthday celebration.
According to the plot of the book, an hour earlier, Lin Qingtong fell in love with Yu Jingchen at first sight and went up to befriend him but did not receive a single glance in return.
Feeling deeply humiliated and disappointed, Lin Qingtong drowned her sorrows in alcohol and almost ended up in bed with Su Fengyao.
If he hadn't been searching everywhere for Su Fengyao, the two men would have completed their love marriage at the Lu family home.
Later, Lin Qingtong tried to get on Yu Jingchen's side, but not only did she fail, she also received a serious warning. So she could only keep Yu Jingchen in her heart and miss him by biting the corner of her blanket every night.
After learning this secret, Fu Yanle originally wanted to surprise the main characters, but unfortunately, he was in a car accident on the way, and the secret failed to work. But now…
Fu Yanle stroked his chin, wondering if Lin Qingtong would be incredibly jealous if she saw him and Yu Jingchen together.
Furthermore, given his idiotic character setting, the protagonist's halo in this book is ridiculously overpowered, and the plot holes are so numerous they're practically tangled. So, if he can get on Yu Jingchen's side, he'll have more security, since the original text didn't include the scene where the overpowered protagonist group wipes out the Yu family with a wave of their hand.
Lu Minghe moved back and saw that Fu Yanle's face was as varied as the fabric in a dye shop. He couldn't help but stroke the little curly hair on his dog's head. "Were you shocked by Daddy's magnificence?"
"Ha, with just these two little quail eggs and corn sausages, you think you can challenge your father—" Fu Yanle's sarcasm came to an abrupt halt.
The door to the adjacent lounge was suddenly opened, and Fu Yanle looked over at the sound.
The man who emerged wore a long black suit jacket, his calves encased in straight trousers, exuding an air of asceticism. Or perhaps, one could say it was a kind of…
It tempts one to tear apart this tight-fitting garment and reveal the reverse allure within.
Fu Yanle's eyes were restless—
It traced its fingers upwards along the ankle encased in black stockings, discovering that the man had pale, cool skin. His features were deep and handsome, with a striking, almost flamboyant quality, yet concealed by an indifferent expression. He was unapproachable, aloof, and cold.
Those lips were sharp and cold, yet their color leaned towards red. Objectively speaking, they were perfect for kissing, especially a French kiss.
Such stunning looks are unforgettable.
It was Yu Jingchen, his future boat partner.
Author's Note:
Shuai Yu: Correcting the typo, it should be chuangban (chuangban).
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