Chapter 21 The Dog-Headed Strategist
Since becoming a married man, Fu Yanle has strictly adhered to traditional male virtues and hasn't gone out to have fun for over half a month. Lu Minghe felt this wouldn't do, and since a group of his friends was having a party that evening, he decided to drag Fu Yanle along for some fun.
With a single touch of the small cards, he won big, was kicked off the table, sat on the sofa, peeled an orange, sipped some foreign liquor, and said, "All done."
"Marriage is the tomb of love and the shackles of freedom. The ancients were right." Lu Minghe uncorked the wine, poured half a glass, and pushed it in front of Fu Yanle. "This is the second bottle already. Take it easy."
Fu Yanle took off his coat and casually pushed it to the corner of the sofa. His palms were burning as he wiped his face. He had been drinking like a bull tonight, and his words were full of bravado: "A real man drinks twenty bottles!"
Lu Minghe spat and said, "Hurry up, hurry up, after you finish, I'll immediately fulfill my long-cherished wish of 'peeing on your corpse'."
Fu Yanle was feeling restless and too lazy to argue.
Lu Minghe turned his head and happened to meet the group of people on the opposite sofa. The two sides waved and greeted each other with smiles, exchanging some playful banter across the aisle.
Fu Yanle casually raised his eyes, and was so aroused by the group of flirtatious butterflies across from him, winking, swaying their legs and shaking their hips, that his throat went numb and the smell of alcohol rushed to his head.
The sofa beneath him was shaken like a waterbed by Lu Minghe. Fu Yanle's throat churned, and he yelled, "Damn it!"
Lu Minghe immediately stopped moving. He put his legs together, placed his hands on his thighs, turned his head slightly towards Fu Yanle, and apologized solemnly and firmly: "Dad, I'm sorry."
Mr. Fu ignored him, leaning back with his brows slightly furrowed, looking even more melancholy than Lin Daiyu.
"You're acting strange today." Lu Minghe struck a thoughtful pose, analyzing Fu Yanle's mood: from the inexplicable excitement and joy he felt upon arriving home, to the contemplation and inner turmoil along the way, and now, his fluctuating restlessness and depression—
He made a plausible guess: "You've been cheated on again?"
Fu Yanle said quietly, "You're dead."
"Before I die, please grant me the honor of relieving your worries one last time, so that I can die without regrets. Otherwise, my resentment will fill my heart, and even in hell I will come to stand by your bedside every night, face to face with you." Lu Minghe picked up a glass of warm water and coaxed, "Dad, drink some water to soothe your throat."
Fu Yanle condescended to take a sip.
Lu Minghe put down his water glass, pushed Fu Yanle against the sofa, and pressed, "Did Yu Jingchen bully you?"
"No." Fu Yanle said listlessly, "I misunderstood him before because I believed slander. He's really a good person."
Taking the opportunity, Lu Minghe probed, "How does it compare to Su Fengyao?"
Even now, Lu Minghe still finds the news of "Fu Yanle and Yu Jingchen getting their marriage certificate" incredibly surreal. After all, his brother had been so infatuated with Su Fengyao that it was abnormal and unrealistic. How could he have let go of it so quickly?
"The most humiliating thing for Brother Chen in his life is being compared to Su Fengyao." Fu Yanle stared at Lu Minghe as if he were looking at a heinous bastard. "You're so vicious!"
"...Alright, if you can say that, it seems you really have no lingering feelings for that bastard Su Fengyao. Very good!" Lu Minghe said with mixed feelings. "Although I don't think Yu Jingchen is any better."
“You’re prejudiced against him,” Fu Yanle admonished. “If he were a good person, would he have been in charge of the Yu family? Do you think everyone is like us, able to sit on mountains of gold and silver without having to compete with their own brothers? Besides, whether he’s a good person or a bad person, he hasn’t interfered with us.”
“People like him are prejudiced against by outsiders because they can’t understand the real him, and he won’t let outsiders understand him either. But—” Lu Minghe poked Fu Yanle’s cheek, “It’s a bit rounder now, so Yu Jingchen probably didn’t mistreat you.”
"Really?" Fu Yanle touched his face. "Eat regularly, go to bed early and get up early, drink less alcohol and eat less spicy food, and reduce stress in your life."
Every meal at the Yu family's house was carefully prepared, with a balanced mix of meat and vegetables, and plenty of nutrition. Moreover, since moving into the Yu family, he hadn't missed a single meal, and Brother Chen would occasionally feed him desserts. When he wasn't home, the housekeeper would also keep an eye on him.
With such comprehensive care, it would be impossible for him not to be healthy.
Lu Minghe scrutinized the strange smile that unconsciously crept up Fu Yanle's lips and mocked, "So, did Yu Jingchen raise you as a son or a daughter-in-law?"
Fu Yanle was too lazy to curse the Lu family ancestors for eighteen generations. After a long silence, he said, "Little Lu, I feel something is strange."
Upon hearing the name "Xiao Lu," Lu Minghe immediately sat up straight, coughed lightly, and said in a serious tone, "Xiao Fu, please speak."
Fu Yanle asked, "Why did Brother Chen want to have a marriage of convenience with me?"
"Isn't it just to appease his mother?" Lu Minghe said. "Do you think he has ulterior motives? He's not like that damned grandson Su Fengyao. In terms of wealth, power, and connections, he can't get anything from you. The Yu family and the Lu family have no old grudges, so he probably doesn't want to use you to deal with the old man."
“That’s why the more I think about it, the stranger it seems.” Fu Yanle sighed deeply. “I’ve met Madam Yu. Objectively speaking, she’s a very open-minded lady. I don’t think she would force Chen Ge to get married. Besides, Chen Ge is quite particular and picky. He’s definitely not the kind of person who would settle for a marriage just to avoid trouble.”
And most importantly, Fu Yanle died at the age of 25 in his previous life, while Yu Jingchen, nearing 30, was still an unattainable bachelor. There's no reason why Madam Yu in this life would pressure him to marry, but she wouldn't in the previous life. So, if Yu Jingchen was able to remain aloof until 30 in his previous life, why would he so easily choose to leave his bachelorhood in this life?
Fu Yanle frowned: Could it be... that Yu Jingchen also had a marriage of convenience with someone in his past life, just not him? Then why did he choose him in this life?
"Oh." Lu Minghe stroked his chin, maintaining his smile. "So why did you agree to marry him back then?"
Fu Yanle was speechless. "...I didn't think that much about it at the time."
He had just been reborn, and all he could think about was how to get revenge on the stupid Lin and the stupid Su as soon as possible. His composure dropped by half, and with Yu Jingchen's captivating beauty, how could he possibly think things through?
“It’s all because of impulsiveness.” Lu Minghe reached out and poked Fu Yanle’s forehead. “I don’t know Yu Jingchen, how would I know what he’s thinking? I can’t help you. Why don’t you ask him directly? No, asking directly won’t work. What if he really has an ulterior motive? Wouldn’t you be alerting him? Let’s take a roundabout approach and test the waters first!”
Fu Yanle let out a cold "heh," and said, "If I could find out anything from him, I would be the one in charge of the Yu family now."
“...That’s true, you’re a bit dumber than him.” Lu Minghe sighed wistfully.
Fu Yanle gritted his teeth, unable to refute.
Just then, a waiter walked by carrying several bottles of wine. Lu Minghe had a sudden inspiration and slapped his thigh, "I've got it! Get him drunk and take advantage of his weakness."
Fu Yanle shook his head. "It won't work. He's not indulgent; he's incredibly self-disciplined. If I ask him to drink for no reason, he'll definitely suspect I have ulterior motives."
"This man is really hard to deal with!" Lu Minghe casually fiddled with the tuft of hair on Fu Yanle's head.
They were close enough that Fu Yanle's flushed face was right in front of him, her thin eyelids pressing down on her eyelashes, looking languid and beautiful. Lu Minghe suddenly had a flash of inspiration, leaned closer, and smiled mysteriously, "I've got it! He's not drunk, but you are."
Fu Yanle looked up and said seriously, "I might be drunk, I can't keep up with your train of thought!"
“What I mean is!” Lu Minghe said softly, “Have you ever considered that he might indeed have ulterior motives, but what he really wants is you?”
"You mean: he's after my stunning looks and perfect body?" Fu Yanle pondered for a full half minute, his tone becoming more certain. "Although I have the looks to back it up, we agreed that a marriage of convenience wouldn't include any marital obligations. Besides, he's so attentive to me; he doesn't seem to have any lustful intentions towards me."
Lu Minghe said with great distress, "What a man says off the bed is like farting, but what he says on the bed is like getting struck by lightning! A real man never rushes in blindly; 'boiling a frog in warm water' is the only way to test a man's true skill!"
“You’re right.” Fu Yanle fiddled with his wine glass. “But… why should I get drunk?”
"That seductive charm!" Lu Minghe excitedly embraced Fu Yanle. "Use your beauty while he's drunk to lower his guard! If he really has ulterior motives, then you'll have tested him out, right? If he doesn't, the next day you can just say, 'Oh, I'm sorry, Yu Giegie, I drank too much last night. I hope I didn't offend you. I'll be more careful in the future—'"
"That makes perfect sense!" Fu Yanle punched Lu Minghe in the thigh, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "Great idea!"
Lu Minghe pressed down on the impolite fist. "Let's not delay, let's start planning now!"
Fu Yanle immediately asked humbly, "What's the first step?"
“Let him know you’re drunk,” Lu Minghe said. “Take out your phone and tell that handsome butler: I’m drunk, could you please come pick me up?”
"Okay." Fu Yanle immediately put the plan into action. "And the second step?"
Lu Minghe said quickly, "Let him know you're drunk, and find a way to be alone with him!"
Fu Yanle flipped open the little notebook in his mind, scribbled down a couple of lines, and then...!
"Damn, this is seduction!" Lu Minghe poked Fu Yanle's forehead hard. "Who are you? You are the most dazzling light in the galaxy! The most radiant light in the universe! The brightest star in the night sky—the Child of Light! Releasing charm is as easy for you as breathing, do I need to teach you? Don't be shy, don't be shy at all, seduce him to death, you know!"
"I know!" Fu Yanle suddenly picked up the wine glass on the table, drank it all in one gulp, then wiped his mouth with a bold gesture, puffed out his chest confidently, and gave a wicked chuckle, "100G of youth education videos, they weren't watched for nothing."
Seeing Fu Yanle's foolish behavior, Lu Minghe suddenly became worried again.
Damn, this seems a bit unreliable.
Author's Note:
Da Yu: Thank you. @Xiao Lu (clasping hands)
Xiao Lu: Oh? Of course! (Joyfully)
Is it time for school to start for those of you who are going to school?
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