Chapter 8 Cloud Crane Makeup
Everyone has their own pursuits and aspirations in life.
Some people want to wake up every day in a 300-square-meter bed, first drive a Rolls-Royce Illusion into a 3,000-square-meter bathhouse for a morning wash, then take a private jet to the dining hall to enjoy a Manchu Han Imperial Feast, then drive a cool tractor to the mountaintop, and finally sit cross-legged on the Golden and Silver Mountain to enjoy a panoramic view of the vast landscape.
Compared to the masses, An Shigou felt that his wish was as simple and pure as soil, as humble and cowardly as a sycophant, because all he wanted was to change his name.
In order to change his name to one that he could look at with a straight face, An Shigou risked his life at least five times in his life.
He has thrown tantrums in front of his parents, livestreamed emo literature, NetEase Cloud Music literature, and youth pain literature on his WeChat Moments late at night, hung his scarf over the second-floor balcony railing in front of the first-floor door, smeared ketchup, chili sauce, and red lip gloss on his wrists, and even used the traditional intangible cultural heritage of jumping and cursing on his parents.
But none of it worked.
His parents consulted a fortune teller, who claimed that the name was meant for him from birth and was blessed by their ancestors. That's why he's still stuck with this name.
If netizens questioning his award is a sign of disrespect for his ability and acting skills, then anyone who dares to look at his name with the same "three parts mockery, three parts pleasure, and four parts laughter" gaze as Fu Yanle would be committing the ultimate insult to him, his entire family, and his ancestors for eighteen generations.
"Aaaaaah!" An Shigou shoved Gordon away, ignoring the other's slender waist and the authentic high-pitched voice that rippled through the air, and roared fiercely, "Say that again!"
Fu Yanle, always a kind and helpful person, immediately spoke in perfect Mandarin, enunciating each word clearly and with perfect intonation: "You are a dog!"
"Ahhhhh!" An Shigou's fists cracked excitedly. He stared at the butler's fair and slender neck, wishing he could pounce on him and bite a hole through it, and beat Fu Yanle, that bull, across the mountain.
The butler calmly took a step forward, gathering his strength in his dantian, preparing to strike first.
Just as the butler was about to make a move, An Shigou suddenly raised his head and grabbed the round-faced, bald middle-aged male assistant behind him, saying, "Look! He's cursing at me!"
This voice was full of grievance and heartache, and even carried a hint of crying. Looking at An Shigou, his little face was as angry as a monkey's bottom, and his two ears looked like they had been braised. He was really spirited and extremely cute.
"Get out of the way!" The assistant shoved An Shigou aside and strode aggressively toward the butler.
The butler raised his chin with an air of haughtiness and coldness, then reached out and snapped his hand across his neck.
The assistant stopped and asked cautiously, "Which gang are you from?"
The butler calmly replied, "Lihong Avenue."
"What?!" The assistant exclaimed in surprise and took three steps back.
Although the name Lihong Avenue is somewhat ordinary, the residents of this avenue are all exceptionally outstanding individuals. No wonder this assistant seems to take such an unconventional path!
The assistant immediately wiped his shiny scalp, pulled An Shigou, who was clenching his fist in encouragement, back a step, and clasped his hands in a gesture of respect, saying, "Excuse me."
An Shigou's anger soared to the heavens, even the frog doll on his chest trembled with rage. "What the hell are you talking about! He robbed my dressing room and called me a dog! If he insulted me, he's insulting you. Can you stand for that? If you're a real man, take him down!"
“I have to tell you a cruel truth: the person who called you a dog is the one who named you, because he saw your true self from the beginning and was convinced that this name suits you best. As for the dressing room,” Fu Yanle beckoned with his finger, bringing Gordon back to his senses, “it was arranged by the production team. Every grievance has its source, and every debt has its debtor; even if you're cursing, you have to point the finger clearly.”
An Shigou slowly put his hands on his hips, quickly recalling "A Collection of Chinese Cultural Essences Without the Character 'Mom'" in his mind.
Just then, the deputy, who had come running after hearing the commotion, used his weight to stop himself at the door, stumbled into the dressing room, and gave the room a humble smile, "Excuse me, you two, the dressing room is shared by both of you, there's no such thing as a private room."
"What!" An Shigou crowed angrily. "Your production team is so poor! Other online variety shows are worth more than you. What are all your sponsors for? Have you gone bankrupt?!"
"Frugality and thrift are virtues since ancient times." The deputy subconsciously spoke up for the director, who was acting like a ruthless tyrant, and leaned in to say, "It's our fault. We didn't communicate with you two in advance, which caused the misunderstanding. We're so sorry."
"..." A misunderstanding rendered An Shigou unable to lash out. He snorted coldly and turned to leave, but then suddenly woke up at the door—
No way, why should I leave? This isn't Fu Yanle's dressing room!
An Shigou immediately puffed out his chest, adopting the posture of a mature man, and swaggered past the butler, sitting down next to Fu Yanle.
The butler, with his tall and reliable body, completely blocked Fu Yanle from view, and the mirror was also separated from him. An Shigou, unable to steal a glance, reluctantly withdrew his gaze.
A barely audible humming sound reached his ears. Fu Yanle chuckled inwardly, ignored it, and closed his eyes to rest.
The farce ended just like that, and the dressing room fell into an eerie peace.
The butler and assistant exchanged a glance and then stood beside their respective family members.
The assistant has to be careful that their artist isn't still angry and might jump up and deliver a slap to the head like the Abbess Miejue, making a big mistake.
The butler had already learned from the high-definition camera version of "Fu Yanle Beats Up the Third Mistress of Diao" sent by Assistant Xu that Young Master Fu was no ordinary person; he had swallowed arsenic and could anger someone to death at any time.
As a versatile and highly paid talent in the new era, he must be ready at any time to clean up the mess for Young Master Fu and leave no future troubles.
When An Shi Gou's makeup artist arrived at the scene, her woman's sixth sense told her that she saw three flames on An Shi Gou's forehead and a rolling fireball squeezed into her belly, so she chose to work in silence until the end of the day.
Half an hour later, An Shigou half-opened his eyes and let out a heavy "humph" from his nose.
Fu Yanle continued to close his eyes and rest, slowly saying, "The nostrils are probably too big; just poke them a few times with a plunger and it'll be fine."
"...Hmph!" An Shigou snorted heavily again, withdrew his gaze, raised his arms to hug himself after repeated setbacks, and vowed to sign up for the "National Essence Online Course" when he got back.
When he returns after completing his studies, that will be the time when Fu Yanle will be humiliated!
"Stop showing me your clear nose, instead save your brain that's full of shit." Fu Yanle slurped down the last sip of coffee and took a devout breath. "No need to thank me for guiding you on your life's path. I've always been this kind, willing to burn myself to save those who have gone astray."
"you--"
This time, An Shigou didn't have time to be humiliated again. Knowing that "the enemy is strong and we are weak," the bald assistant reached out and pinched his mouth, saying to the makeup artist next to him, "Miss, if he opens his mouth again, shove the lipstick down his throat."
The makeup artist was filled with awe for this audacious assistant and immediately said, "Okay!"
“…” An Shigou was scared, really scared, and quickly shut his mouth.
At this moment, Gordon finished the last stroke, stepped back slightly, and the bellows in his throat roared as he let out a long, drawn-out sob, "Waaah, that was amazing!"
An Shigou couldn't control his young and restless heart. He reached out and pressed the button on the armrest of the chair, leaning back against the chair. His arrogant gaze finally stepped out from the butler's tall figure, but froze when it met Fu Yanle's face.
Fu Yanle is just a pretty face, nothing more.
When An Shigou surfed the internet using his alternate account, he often saw comments like this. He never took it seriously; after all, these days, anyone who was good-looking but lacked talent could be called a "pretty face," but now, he had to admit—
Fu Yanle is a vase, but it is an antique vase worth treasuring!
Fu Yanle wasn't wearing foundation, so his skin had a fair and radiant natural glow. A white crane spread its wings at the corner of his left eye, elegant and graceful, with lines extending downwards.
With a single white teardrop on his forehead serving as a backdrop, his left cheek was adorned with a painting, resembling a cold and aloof immortal, while his right cheek remained unadorned, like a beautiful but ethereal demon.
Two extreme forms of beauty on the same face create a striking, jarring visual impact.
An Shigou's gaze stiffly followed the white lines downwards, from Fu Yanle's deliberately pale lips to his neck, finally catching sight of the lotus flower blooming on the side of his neck.
At this moment, Fu Yanle's Adam's apple bobbed, and the flower stamen trembled.
Amidst the clamorous silence, An Shigou heard the sound of his own saliva, and... several other saliva sounds?!
An Shigou suddenly turned around and found that his assistant's round face had turned a strange blush, and his black eyes seemed to be glued to Fu Yanle's face—Damn it, you shameless lecher!
The butler, with an exceptionally high level of self-awareness, withdrew his admiring gaze within ten seconds, then picked up his phone and openly took a picture of Fu Yanle in the mirror, explaining, "For the master to see."
"Okay." Fu Yanle was always aware of his good looks, but this was the first time he'd ever had such designs painted on his face. He found it both beautiful and novel, and in a good mood, he took out his phone. "I'll take a picture!"
The deputy quickly wiped his mouth and stepped forward to stop him, "Yan Le, this look can't be leaked before the promotional photos are released!"
"I won't reveal it." Fu Yanle took a picture of himself, opened WeChat and made up a story, "I'll show it to my brother."
[Hey, give your eyes a rest after working so hard for so long (selfie.jpg)]
Yu Jingchen's lightning-fast reply made Fu Yanle reasonably suspect that the other party was slacking off.
Chen Ge: [Very good, thank you for your hard work. (Thumbs up.jpg)]
What kind of old person's emoji is that? Fu Yanle's lips curled slightly as he typed: [Waiting for someone to do their makeup, not tiring at all.]
He thought for a moment, then added rather virtuously, "Brother Chen, you've worked hard to earn money. (Little panda drooling.jpg)"
Chen Ge: [It's not hard work, you've given me enough motivation. (Striving.jpg)]
Huh? Fu Yanle replied: [Why? (Little frog looking confused.jpg)]
Chen Ge: [You're so delicate, my wallet has to keep up. (clasped hands.jpg)]
"Hehehehehe!" Fu Yanle let out a burst of silvery laughter, looked up and found everyone looking at her blankly, and quickly said, "I was so pleased with myself, sorry hehehehe!"
Everyone: Your delighted latency is truly comparable to 2G!
After his makeup was done, Fu Yanle saw the "team uniforms" prepared by the production team: a white T-shirt, black sweatpants, and white canvas shoes. He sincerely asked, "What is the production team's budget...?"
The deputy rubbed his hands shyly. "Not bad, not bad. Thrift is a virtue, and simplicity is supreme!"
"Okay." Fu Yanle accepted the program team's idea, went into the dressing room to change clothes, and when he came out, he found that An Shigou had left his seat and was standing outside the dressing room with the same simple team uniform.
Their eyes met, Fu Yanle raised an eyebrow and smiled, leaving behind an ambiguous smile before gracefully departing.
"..." An Shigou subconsciously touched his face and looked at his assistant beside him. "Is he looking down on my looks?"
The assistant skillfully reassured him, "He's just—"
“Although he certainly has the qualifications.” An Shigou interrupted his assistant, lowering his head under the assistant’s slightly gratified gaze, and realized that his feet had inexplicably adopted a self-conscious, slightly pigeon-toed posture.
"..." An Shigou activated his nasal passages again, letting out a soft snort, "An antique vase is still a vase!"
The assistant smiled: Don't think I didn't notice that there was three parts amazement, three parts liking, two parts struggle, and two parts self-deception in the way you looked at Fu Yanle.
Fu Yanle was unaware that he had provoked such a complex emotional reaction from An Shigou. He followed his deputy to the filming location, but suddenly stopped at the turn.
At the same time, Gu Jiming, who was smoking by the trash can, looked up and his breath hitched when he saw Fu Yanle's face clearly. Then, his fingers curled slightly, and he waved his hand, revealing a row of white teeth.
"Good afternoon, Brother Yanle!"
Fu Yanle looked at the man in front of him with his trendy, dark green hair and earrings adorned with perfectly fitting emerald green fruit, and spoke with a gentle yet compassionate tone.
Good afternoon, Cui Zui.
Author's Note:
A plunger: a tool for unclogging sewers.
I want to watch "Empresses in the Palace" again; I miss my beloved Consort Hua.
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