2024 Rainy Season 2/2
The sound of running water came from the open door of the master bedroom's ensuite bathroom.
Gu Wanlin leaned against the raised headboard, her bathrobe hanging loosely without a tie, the alluring scenery partially hidden behind the open gap. But further down, a transparent tube abruptly protruded from the middle of her abdomen, intermittent streams of pale yellow liquid flowing from its starting point hidden inside the bathrobe to the urine bag temporarily placed on the bed, accompanied by the sound of running water.
Gu Wanlin stared at the section of pipe, expressionless.
Shen Qingyi had just finished applying lotion to her and given her a massage, though it wasn't just a simple massage. She was now carefully washing her hands, preparing for the next important event.
Not hearing a response, she assumed her voice was too soft, so she raised it, "Gu Wanlin?"
Gu Wanlin seemed to wake from a dream, "Huh? What did you say? I didn't hear you."
Shen Qingyi shook the water off his hands and came out of the bathroom. As he dried his hands with a towel, he said, "I said, Qiao Qi came to ask me. She said that the play she's involved in, the one she mentioned to you last time, is premiering this weekend. She asked if you wanted to go see it, and she'll reserve a ticket for you."
Shen Qingyi sat on the edge of the bed, glancing at the heaving skin behind Gu Wanlin's bathrobe that made her blush. She reached out and tugged at the robe, covering Gu Wanlin completely. She then turned the air conditioner up a bit—why had she forgotten to cover her with a blanket after turning it on? The blanket was carelessly piled at the foot of the bed, near Gu Wanlin's feet, too inconvenient for her to reach. She had finally managed to warm her up; she didn't want her to get cold again.
"That theater is newly built, with excellent accessibility features, including wheelchair seating. Would you like to go?"
Qiao Qi. Qiao Qi.
Gu Wanlin carefully considered these two words in his mind.
Qiao Qi is a good name. She wondered uncertainly if her own name seemed a bit ordinary compared to it.
Gu Wanlin didn't show it on her face, but inwardly she was annoyed and couldn't help but dislike herself. Why was she doing this again, always thinking about comparing herself to others? She'd been like this for years, and she still couldn't shake this habit. Shen Qingyi was already hers again. Qiao Qi looked at this upright and honest man, knowing there was clearly nothing between them; it was only Gu Wanlin's own inferiority complex that was causing her to keep thinking about these trivial things.
How could she not feel inferior? At least Qiao Qi had all her limbs; she didn't have to wear a urinary catheter all the time, she could run, jump, and direct plays, and she didn't have to be bedridden and wait on by Shen Qingyi every day. She sighed inwardly.
Gu Wanlin didn't consider herself a pure and innocent girl; she had her own dark side, but she had never told anyone about it.
She casually told Shen Qingyi that she knew he was dating someone else and wished him happiness. Hearing this so nonchalantly, Shen Qingyi thought that Gu Wanlin must have already let go of their relationship and moved on.
Only Gu Wanlin knew that she genuinely wanted Shen Qingyi to be happy, but the fact that "it wasn't her who made Shen Qingyi happy" had almost driven her crazy. She keenly sensed clues on Shen Qingyi's social media: the restaurants they went out to eat at seemed like exquisite dating spots, and the tableware always looked like it was for two people; she was just posting about her daily life, so why would she suddenly post a picture of a bouquet of flowers, and who sent it? Would she go to the botanical garden alone, visit photography and book exhibitions, or go to the aquarium to see jellyfish? Who took that picture of her back as she stood in front of the dark blue tank, and it looked so ambiguous?
Gu Wanlin suffered from insomnia for most of the night and tried everything on all platforms. In the end, he found a mutual friend on a music app who had been listening to the same songs as Shen Qingyi recently.
Her heart sank; she had found it.
Gu Wanlin felt like she was sick. Otherwise, why would she lie awake for several nights, constantly thinking about why her relationship with Shen Qingyi was so unremarkable, with most of her memories of spending time together being in the library? Why hadn't she planned more romantic dates back then?
Shen Qingyi must think Gu Wanlin is boring. At least not as interesting as Qiao Qi. Qiao Qi's photos exude an artistic flair, and her actions are meaningful, unlike herself. That's why she likes Qiao Qi, and at least wants to try being with Qiao Qi, instead of herself.
It took her a long time to accept the fact that Shen Qingyi had moved on. She tried to convince herself that they had broken up two years ago, so why couldn't Shen Qingyi have a new lover? Hadn't she, Gu Wanlin, tried dating other people? But the more she tried, the more boring it seemed. Many people liked her, and objectively speaking, they were all quite attractive, but she couldn't like any of them, and instead felt guilty towards them. Later, she simply stopped trying, thinking that these things couldn't be forced. Perhaps one day fate would bring the right person, just like Shen Qingyi had fallen from the sky. She would just wait patiently.
Instead of finding a new love, she was struck by a car accident. Everything was irreversible.
Lying in her hospital bed, unable to move and needing to be fed, she thought to herself that she was truly finished. Who would ever want to love someone as severely disabled as her again? She wished her life could end soon.
She didn't expect that Shen Qingyi still liked her.
Later, she found it both laughable and absurd; it turned out that neither of them had moved on, but they both mistakenly thought the other had. If Gu Wanlin were still the same as before, she felt that this time, it would be her turn to win Shen Qingyi back.
But Gu Wanlin was different from before, so very different. After realizing Shen Qingyi's feelings, and overwhelmed by emotions, she thought her body might gradually recover, and perhaps she could give it a try? But when reason pulled her back, she could only pretend not to know.
Just like she knew what it meant when Shen Qingyi played that song for her in the car, "Every time you are there, it's as if there's a river flowing inside me, and plants within a ten-mile radius suddenly grow and gently surround us."
Like a surging river, it flowed into her heart, and the green grass and wildflowers covering the mountains and fields also grew wildly into her heart, but she could only pretend to be asleep and pretend not to know.
Especially the day Xia met Qiao Qi in person at her house. Qiao Qi said she had a tennis game planned and arrived in sportswear, looking both slender and powerful, with a dashing air. Gu Wanlin, who also regularly works out, could tell how great Qiao Qi's physique was. After getting to know her, she found Qiao Qi to have a good personality as well.
Qiao Qi is good in every way.
Unlike herself, whose forearms, hidden in her sleeves, barely concealed the fact that a small portion of her muscles were paralyzed, making them appear sickly thin and flat despite her efforts to exercise. But there was no need to hide them; her hands were resting on her lap, her fingers curled up as they peeked out from her sleeves, revealing her disability. She awkwardly pulled her hands back slightly.
When Qiao Qi was talking to her, she was actually distracted for a while. At that time, Xia brought her a bottle of water and placed it in front of her. At home, she could try to unscrew the bottle cap with her teeth or the base of her palm, but to do that in front of Qiao Qi, she would rather die, even though she was indeed a little thirsty after talking so much.
She would never tell Shen Qingyi these things. Gu Wanlin knew that thinking this way was a sign of her unhealthy mindset, and she was indeed working on resolving this issue. She didn't want to expose her inferiority complex to Shen Qingyi; it wasn't just about not wanting him to worry or feel sorry for her, but also about her own pride and self-respect.
Gu Wanlin sighed deeply in her heart, encouraging herself, "Take it slow, don't be too hard on yourself, you've already done very well."
Shen Qingyi helped her turn on the switch to lower the headboard, then got into bed himself. "Hmm? What are you thinking about? How should we report back to Qiao Qi?"
Gu Wanlin said the play is good, and even without this connection, she would still want to see it. Qiao Qi is your good friend, so of course we should go and support her. Remember to remind me to prepare a gift to celebrate the successful premiere, and bring it over.
Shen Qingyi laughed and said, "Gu Wanlin, you've taken care of everything for me so well, like a virtuous wife. Why don't I support you and keep you as my mistress?"
She lowered her head and gently kissed the scar above Gu Wanlin's collarbone, a small, indented, round scar left by the ventilator. She applied scar-reducing medication every day, and now it had faded to the point of being almost invisible.
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