Dream Interpretation and Separation
It was dim, almost entirely black, white, and gray, with no other colors visible. Jiang Jingyuan lay quietly, suddenly realizing that he couldn't remember a single thing. His mind went blank for a long time, feeling both bewildered and... a sudden realization.
She recalled, but it was all white -
It’s not vague, nor is it... In short, it’s a feeling that I’m not remembering anything at all?
She wanted to reminisce, and she was reminiscing, but she... didn't know how to say it. Had she to say that she wasn't reminiscing?
But in fact, she is trying hard to remember?
Only in her dreams could she remember all this so clearly, and in her dreams she kept trying to describe and record it in words.
After she woke up, she did not recall the details of the pictures and sounds, but the words she used to express her feelings and describe the dream. Gradually, she would consciously try to describe them in her dream so that she could recall and record them later.
Of these, sound—noise without content—is the hardest to recall.
The tension in his heart grew more and more intense, and he felt a little panicked, but Jiang Jingyuan did not give up and continued to try hard to recall.
At the same time, she clearly realized that her whole person...the scene in front of her eyes had changed again.
She was still lying flat in the dim bamboo house, but her head was facing the headboard again.
Am I awake? Jiang Jingyuan wondered, but he didn't panic or feel disappointed. He was just used to it, and continued to recall the scene of the imperial palace in Diqu City very calmly.
Because she felt that she still had a vague sense of floating in the air.
Suddenly, there was a buzzing sound in his ears, and Jiang Jingyuan felt his eyelids twitching wildly. As his eyelids twitched, the light and shadows in front of his eyes flickered rapidly.
Amidst the flickering light and shadow, the scene inside the house in front changed - sometimes two long black shadow pillars rose tall, and sometimes, the scene inside the house stretched, distorted and changed.
"I'm still dreaming..." Jiang Jingyuan thought calmly.
Jiang Jingyuan listened to the buzzing sound in his ears, and his memories were suddenly interrupted. He suddenly thought: "Wait, something is wrong..."
"This..." Jiang Jingyuan thought in astonishment, "This isn't a buzzing sound!"
Then, while listening carefully, she muttered to herself, "It's not a pure 'hum, hum, hum'. It's close, but not quite. It can only be described as a humming sound."
The humming sound was soft and gentle, and she didn't feel a headache - perhaps because most of her attention was on her frantic eyelids and the flickering scene before her.
Only then did she begin to doubt her past experiences. "Was it a 'buzz, buzz, buzz', or something close to a 'buzz'?" She paused, then relaxed and thought casually, "Never mind, it's pretty much the same anyway."
Suddenly, the buzzing sound disappeared and darkness returned to my vision.
She seemed to wake up.
Jiang Jingyuan clearly felt that his eyes were closed at this moment, and suddenly he thought to himself, "I thought my eyelids were really twitching, but it turns out it was just a dream..."
Her eyelids twitched wildly and the scenes in front of her eyes flickered many times. She used to think that she was half asleep and her eyelids really twitched when she squinted her eyes.
But the next moment, she was sweating profusely.
Jiang Jingyuan silently opened his eyes, moved his right hand fingers cautiously, touched the quilt, and then lay flat and motionless again, looking up at the sky.
She said she was used to it. She used to be panicked for just a few moments before calming down. But tonight... Jiang Jingyuan was in tears, thinking, "It's all Sheng Liang's fault. Why did he bring up that matter for no reason?" It made her feel so panicked now.
She always felt like... there was a skinny arm under her head, poking at the back of her neck.
Just as Jiang Jingyuan thought, "I'm afraid I'll have to wait until dawn to be suffocated tonight," he suddenly calmed down, took a deep breath, gritted his teeth, and shouted in his heart, "What am I afraid of!"
She mustered up her courage and grabbed the quilt...
Turned over.
His heart wasn't beating wildly, but it was still trembling. Jiang Jingyuan closed his eyes, feeling the panic in his heart, and muttered to himself, "It's not a good idea to keep going like this. It's too scary..."
If you can't help being scared, just stay calm. If you want to pursue the truth, be brave and be at ease... Jiang Jingyuan couldn't help thinking about this, and countless emotions swirled in his heart.
But then, she had a complicated thought: "If I didn't know, it would be fine, but now that I've encountered big and small problems, who can make me give up...?"
What I fear most is having only a partial understanding and achieving nothing, but repeated trials and tribulations can only make me more determined.
It’s not that I want to persist, it’s that I can’t give up.
Jiang Jingyuan fell to his side in the dimness, clearly aware of his own panic, and even clearly knew why he was panicking—
Fear that this was still a dream, fear that she had no stable foothold, fear that something would jump out and pounce on her at any time.
Even if it's fake, being scared is real.
Whenever the waves of fear surge over me, I suddenly wake up and realize that the fear is still there.
From not understanding to understanding, completely different states of mind will lead to thinking of the same thing from different situations:
The more you don’t have, the more you ask for it, and the more you ask, the less you have. You always have to seek for “proof”.
I used to think it was funny, but now I feel sad. From the sadness, I think of this immortal path - break away from "seeking" and live a life without any needs.
Nothing, needed.
Only me.
Jiang Jingyuan remained silent, pulling up the quilt bit by bit and slowly covering his head with it.
Suddenly, "Ha——"
A familiar fox yawn was heard outside the room, the door was gently pushed open, and the familiar red-haired fox walked in quietly and looked up at her.
"Shengliang...?" Jiang Jingyuan was stunned.
In an instant, Jiang Jingyuan felt a sense of sudden enlightenment in his heart, vaguely understanding something, but after understanding it, he felt so melancholy and complicated that he didn't know what to think.
The fox said lazily, "I knew you would be too scared to sleep today..." He looked at her sideways and said, "But don't think too much. I'm just coming to see you, I can't accompany you."
Jiang Jingyuan actually felt relieved the moment he saw it. He pulled off the quilt from his head and replied "OK".
The fox left. But she also unconsciously felt a sense of relief, a sense of peace and ease. She casually raised her hand to adjust the pillow, placing it under her head, and a barely perceptible smile rose at the corner of her mouth.
It was only a short moment before Jiang Jingyuan suddenly opened his eyes wide again, his pupils trembling slightly, and thought: "What am I doing..."
"Do I... actually need Sheng Liang to give me peace of mind?" Jiang Jingyuan was instantly filled with sadness and confusion. "Do I have to rely on others for my peace of mind?"
Looking in the direction of the door, Jiang Jingyuan was silent for a long time. He slowly got up, lit the lamp, took out paper and pen to write down his dream.
She didn't have to wait until the next day, or even three, five, or ten days later. That night, she recalled and wrote clearly under the light.
Jiang Jingyuan paused with the ink pen in her hand and stared at the paper in deep thought: "It's only been a short time, and I can't even remember that buzzing sound." Her mind was blank. If she hadn't remembered the buzzing sound in her dream, she would even doubt whether she had heard the sound at all.
"Don't let it become my new obsession."
Jiang Jingyuan let go of the pen and paper in his hand, washed his hands and face, turned off the lights, and went back to lie down.
The next morning.
"I didn't understand dreams before, and they didn't have any special meaning. Only now, when inspiration strikes, do dreams clearly tell me a lot."
"Inspiration doesn't require thinking," she said. "The loss of fate is quite clear. You can miss it, but later you will definitely realize that 'this is a reminder.' Little by little, as you gain more experience, you will miss less and less."
The little fox patted the snow on the ground with its tail, and said in a thoughtful and lost tone: "So..."
"So, if you haven't had a few clear inspirations, don't try to find your destiny." Jiang Jingyuan said bluntly, "You won't find it."
The same goes for her.
In the past, if someone told her “no need to think”, she would not react on the surface, but she would definitely think “what the hell” in her heart.
As for luck and fate, they almost slapped her in the face so many times, but she could just turn around and forget about them - obviously she is not a carefree person.
Therefore, fate is fate.
The fox smacked his lips, trying to calm himself down. He stared at the person sitting on the recliner in front of him and asked curiously, "So what was your dream about last night?"
Jiang Jingyuan was silent for a moment, then said, "Do you think it's possible for me to tell you about my own affairs?"
Sheng Liang: “…”
"Just trust yourself, and everything will be fine." Jiang Jingyuan said, "No one can interfere with the real turning point and the early stages of the process."
"That's a contradiction, that's a contradiction!" Sheng Liang shouted immediately, "You said before that it could be changed!"
Jiang Jingyuan glanced at it and said, "Unless you are born with the knowledge, how can you understand it if you have never seen it or don't care if you have seen it? If you don't understand, how can you change it?"
"Oh, that's not right." Jiang Jingyuan suddenly said, "It's probably difficult to be born with knowledge."
There was a hesitant look on her face, as if she was lost in some memories.
Innate knowledge?
She suddenly remembered that she also had this memory when she was a child... It can't be said that she had a clear memory, but she could only say that she felt familiar with certain things, and knew what it was and how to do it the first time she saw it.
Jiang Jingyuan paused and said, "I wonder if everyone has some innate knowledge, but just doesn't pay attention to it, or gradually forgets it."
"Forget it, don't dwell on it." She said decisively, "If you dwell on it too much, you'll become attached to it."
Suffering is a phase, happiness is also a phase. The right amount of pain and suffering may be a chance earned through countless lifetimes of cultivation.
She said: "So I just say, don't be deliberate, don't ask for anything, live in the present."
…………
Yuan State, Diqu City.
In a small pavilion outside the city.
The tea poured into the cup with a "clatter", and the aroma of tea rose from the cup. Jiang Jingjian lowered his eyes gently, brewing tea in his hands, quietly.
"Why don't you speak..." Jiang Jingyuan muttered silently in his heart, with a calm face, sitting upright.
A bowl of steaming hot tea was pushed in front of him, creating a hazy mist that blurred the figure in front of him. Jiang Jingyuan remained calm and spoke slowly, "I'll do it as soon as possible..."
"No need." Across from her, Jiang Jingjian calmly interrupted her and said, "You can leave when you need to leave, or come back when you need to come back. It's up to you."
Jiang Jingyuan: "?"
Jiang Jingyuan's eyes were hesitant, trying to see the true thoughts in the person opposite him through the blurred clouds and mist.
"I'm not angry." Jiang Jingjian said in a flat tone.
Jiang Jingyuan...didn't quite believe it.
Doubt gradually appeared in her eyes. She hesitated and took a step back, saying tentatively:
"Or, shall we discuss this further?"
In fact, she thinks it's okay to be able to discuss things normally and properly, which is good. But what she fears most is that she can't even discuss things, and she will get upset in the middle of the discussion... It's a headache.
——We are not enemies, and we are not trying to gain any benefits for ourselves. Is it necessary to cause headaches for both parties?
"Ha..." Jiang Jingjian tilted his head, sighed softly, turned back, looked at her through the gradually thinning white mist, and said helplessly, "I'm really not angry. I really agree with your choice. You have some trust in me, right?"
Jiang Jingyuan: "..." She scratched the teacup with her fingertips awkwardly and uncomfortably, but her face was calm as she said, "Okay, I believe you." Then she asked, "So, why?"
Jiang Jingjian stared at her with blank eyes and remained silent for a long time.
He blinked, came back to his senses, and said calmly:
"This is a parting trend, a gentle one. If we don't follow the trend now, there will always be all kinds of unpleasant things that will separate us later. Rather than waiting until we become disgusted with each other and become enemies, it is better to separate now."
Jiang Jingyuan was stunned for a long time. He never expected that he could understand all this and say such words.
In an instant, the same question came to her mind again, and her heart was in turmoil.
"It's a gentle time now. We'll meet again in the future." Jiang Jingjian said in a calm voice, "Go with the flow, trust without resistance. This is the best strategy."
He said, "So, Jiang Jingyuan, you go."
Jiang Jingyuan looked at him deeply, thinking to himself, it turns out that his previous careless words have come true, or rather, it turns out that his careless words are the prophecy of his soul...
I myself have a fear of "unity", fear of loneliness, fear of separation, and I imagine the loneliness of "only me" -
This kind of sadness, which seems gentle yet strong, is closest to... "being in an unfamiliar place".
After a long while, Jiang Jingyuan slowly nodded, as if responding or agreeing, and said, "Okay."
…………
It was almost noon.
In the snowy mountains and forests, in a bamboo and wooden house.
The man and the fox chatted casually, one sentence at a time. At some point, the room became silent for a long time. Suddenly, the red-haired fox, curled up in the rocking chair, seemed to notice something and opened his eyes abruptly.
It jumped off the rocking chair carefully, its pupils trembling slightly, and walked step by step towards the lounge chair by the window not far away.
On the recliner, the familiar figure of the girl had already been lying flat on her back, her hands gently folded in front of her, her eyes closed, and her expression peaceful.
The fox's nose trembled as it jumped onto the lounge chair and moved close to her cheek, clearly seeing a layer of illusory white light around her.
Sheng Liang was quiet for a moment, stretched out his claws to touch her, but the tips of his claws touched an illusory white light and could not get any closer.
The white light is gentle and harmless, it only protects those within it.
Sheng Liang's eyes felt sore, and his vision misted over. He blinked hard several times, took a deep breath, and transformed into a human form. He picked up the girl on the recliner and put her back in her room.
The red-clothed figure gradually turned back into a red-haired fox, which stared at her silently for a long time.
Suddenly, the whole fox slowly curled up beside her head, with its side against the white light and her hair, and slowly closed its eyes.
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