I want to protect you so much
This person, this face, these eyes, this was not the first time Jiang Jingyuan had seen them. One could even say that they looked somewhat familiar.
She had seen it in the palace in her early years and had a vague impression of it. She tried to look for it later, but couldn't find it, as if the figure in white was just an illusion of hers.
Many years later, she vaguely sensed the "disaster", but she did not associate the "disaster" with the white-clothed figure many years ago.
Until she was practicing in seclusion in the snowy mountains, suddenly, the image of a figure in white walking across the lake under the moon flashed through her mind.
In fact, she was not sure at that time whether the fleeting scene was real or her imagination.
But she, Sheng Liang, and many other living beings, both born and born, heard the sound of the "disaster." Jiang Jingyuan, both confused and puzzled, and inevitably seeking a solution, chased the "disaster" everywhere.
It was not until the "disaster" fled to Yuguo Road and Xingcheng that she could really see the appearance of the "disaster" clearly again, and her heart was relieved.
It turns out that "Disaster" woke up again so long ago, and... I don't know if it was inexplicable or some kind of premonition, but "Disaster" came to the door again.
——Based on everything that happened in the past, Jiang Jingyuan could be sure that the "disaster" would consciously hide and act.
After figuring this out, Jiang Jingyuan inevitably thought of another question:
"What exactly is a 'disaster'? What is it that roams the heavens, the earth, and the human world?"
She had seen the appearance of "disasters" and experienced the horror and terror of "disasters".
What impressed me most was the smile and the pair of eyes that seemed calm and yet seemed to contain countless strong emotions in the world.
In the snowy mountains and forests, whenever she recalled the "disaster" and thought of those strange eyes, she would always feel terrified and subconsciously think...
Those eyes must be filled with resentment, hatred, pain, sadness... and a lot more.
At the very least, it's fear, anxiety, disgust, jealousy...
Without exception, they all have these unpleasant and inconspicuous feelings like a water ghost dragging people.
In mid-air, the blood-red chains made a "swish" sound as they broke through the air and a "crunch" sound as they rubbed against each other, like lightning snakes swam around and formed a dense net.
Suddenly, when countless long blood-red shadows were about to pierce the figure in white, "Crack!" "Crash--" the blood-red chains broke and instantly turned into starlight that fell.
Amidst the starlight, layers of white clothes were rustling in the strong wind. A figure sitting on a huge rock high in the mountain was always smiling and singing, neither dodging nor resisting.
Her eyes, full of complex emotions, stared at Jiang Jingyuan.
Jiang Jingyuan's light golden eyes trembled slightly, and he stared at her quietly.
After a long while, Jiang Jingyuan slowly pursed his lips, a faint sadness suddenly surged in his heart, and his eyes and nose felt slightly sore.
...But now she suddenly realized that it was not.
No.
Jiang Jingyuan froze in place for a moment, not knowing whether to advance or retreat and escape.
Suddenly, she exhaled softly and looked at those eyes that were full of complexity and yet quite pure. These eyes that she had been familiar with for a long time suddenly became unfamiliar, so unfamiliar that she couldn't even tell whether they were a pair of eyes or something else...
Jiang Jingyuan walked forward slowly, step by step, as if he was actively walking into those eyes, into the strong emotions that were like a whirlpool and a tide.
She just felt that she was standing in a torrent of illusion.
Countless soft lights like tides came and went around her, but she just stood there, watching, quietly.
Jiang Jingyuan gently raised his hand, and soft light flashed from his fingertips.
Waves of panic hit her again and again. Jiang Jingyuan paused, put down her hand, and walked towards the depths of the illusory torrent without looking back.
She walked and walked, her black hair and white clothes fluttering, resentment and hatred brushed past her, she walked through the unwillingness, and against the illusory torrent of fear and anxiety, she slowly moved forward.
The further I walked, the more sore my eyes and nose became.
The girl in white clothes and black hair went through all the fear and greed, and suddenly stopped. She raised her head slightly, and a soft illusory light lingered around her. Jiang Jingyuan couldn't help but tremble his pupils, and mist appeared in his eyes.
Jiang Jingyuan slowly sat down on the ground and tilted his head. The illusory torrent around him gradually subsided, revealing a figure in white sitting on a huge rock. Jiang Jingyuan raised his eyes, and the figure in white also lowered his eyes slightly, and their eyes met.
Jiang Jingyuan blinked rapidly, holding back tears, so that she could look carefully at the pair of eyes in front of her.
The ethereal singing voice gradually faded away, and "Disaster" smiled at her, gazing at her deeply with a pair of eyes that seemed both ruthless and affectionate.
Full of...love.
Those eyes were full of love!
Careful love, fearful love, painful and struggling love...
Complex, yet pure and simple.
"Beneath resentment, jealousy, shame, pain, anxiety... lies fear, and beneath that fear, buried deep within my heart like a giant..."
"It's love."
"Deep love, deep fear, it is madness that stops you, it is the desire to protect you too much."
It seems as if silent sounds and unspoken words are echoing in this small world with vast sky and sea, entering the mind and heart, ethereal and graceful.
"I am my best guide, and I am also my biggest enemy. As for me as your enemy, do not reject or resist me, do not hate or despise me, and you do not even have to fight me..."
"God, the saint, loves all living things in the world. Can't he even love and tolerate himself?"
"I use fear and guilt to hold me back. I'm too afraid of getting hurt, and I want to protect myself too much... Please don't be so harsh on this 'me', okay? Please don't call for violence against this 'me', okay?"
"Go tell this 'me' who loves me deeply that we have grown up and we are no longer afraid of being hurt. Please rest assured, 'me'."
"Don't worry, don't worry..."
Jiang Jingyuan sat on the ground in front of the boulder, tilted his head sideways, and looked at the always smiling face of "Disaster". Suddenly, tears rolled down his face, and a slight sob sound came from his throat.
She couldn't help but raise her left hand, wanting to touch the "disaster", but when she was about to touch the white sleeve, her hand was too weak to fall.
A white hand suddenly reached down and grabbed hers.
Jiang Jingyuan was stunned and blinked.
The mist of tears slid down and dissipated.
"Disaster," seated on the boulder, bent slightly, extended his right hand, and gently grasped hers. "Disaster," with his unwavering smile, gazed deeply into her eyes, full of love, and slowly opened his mouth.
"Hello."
The sound is strange and loud.
Jiang Jingyuan's body trembled, and his eyes were instantly filled with tears. After a long while, he choked and slowly responded:
"Hello……"
Jiang Jingyuan was held by "Zaiyi" with one hand, and supported on the ground with the other hand. He stood up, staggered two steps, and almost fell into the arms of "Zaiyi". He hugged "Zaiyi" and trembled and whimpered like a little animal.
"Disaster" lowered his head slightly, put one hand on the girl's back as if protecting her, and stroked the girl's head with the other hand, holding her in his arms more tightly.
"What is resentment? Why do people and all living things resent others? Is it really others that people resent?"
"People resent the very qualities they dislike in others, the fact that they themselves possess them. They resent the fact that they resent themselves. They resent themselves—the flawed, imperfect self, the self that can be easily swayed and influenced."
"Stop hating yourself, okay? Stop using resentment to punish and hurt yourself, okay? Stop relying on fear and hurt to protect yourself, okay?"
The soundless voice echoes.
"Disaster" lowered its head and suddenly spoke softly. Its voice was ethereal and gentle, unlike before, which instantly aroused the deep-seated fear and anxiety in people's hearts. Instead, it was gentle, peaceful and full of love.
The tears stopped, and Jiang Jingyuan leaned in her arms. His light golden eyes were hazy, and they closed little by little as he fell into a deep sleep.
She suddenly relaxed, fatigue rising up in her face. She walked into the depths of fatigue without hiding or avoiding it, and what she saw was peace.
The figure in white holding her closed his eyes and chanted continuously.
…………
In the vast universe.
Countless golden magic arrays of varying sizes and densities separated heaven and earth. The sky and the magic arrays collided and both suffered losses. Only violent winds and rainstorms penetrated heaven and earth, as majestic as a catastrophe.
As if sensing something, the sky suddenly trembled wildly, emitting a cruel and shrill roar, and the sky rose rapidly.
Rising, rising, rising, "Heaven" suddenly roared again -
"Shu Ru!!"
Heaven was furious, causing the entire sky to tremble even more violently and terrifyingly. "You, you——"
Shuru, Xi Niao, and other ethereal figures of celestial beings had been waiting here for a long time. They looked at the "heaven", their faces showing either indifference or smiles.
…………
Under the sky.
Above the densely packed magic circle that separated heaven and earth, the golden light gradually converged, but it still stood still on the line between heaven and earth.
Countless creatures in the sky, earth, mountains and seas also relaxed little by little, landed on the ground and dived into the water, rested, and slowly fell into a tired haze and sleep.
The people on the ground either fell asleep with a "thud", or slowly sat down on the ground and closed their eyes to practice.
Jiang Jingjian drank a bottle of elixir and instantly appeared in front of everyone in the distance. He looked at Jiang Weiji and asked in a calm tone, "Where did Jiang Jingyuan go?"
Jiang Weiji's face was numb, his eyes were blank, and he didn't respond for a long time.
Jiang Jingjian frowned, took two steps to the front of Jiang Weiji, and asked again: "Where did Jiang Jingyuan go?"
Huh…? Jiang Weiji only noticed him then, staring at him with a dull look in his eyes, blinking slowly, as if he didn't understand at all.
Jiang Jingjian: “???”
There was deep shock and confusion in his eyes. He thought to himself, what on earth had this person been through recently? Why did he suddenly seem to have...rejuvenated mentally when he saw him today?
Jiang Jingjian frowned, sighed, and was too lazy to say more to Jiang Weiji.
He took two steps back and looked sideways. His gaze unexpectedly swept over Zhao Ningyu, whose face showed the same numbness and dullness as Jiang Weiji's.
Jiang Jingjian paused, the corners of his eyes and mouth twitched, his face filled with an indescribable expression, and then he turned his eyes away.
Finally, he sighed tiredly, looked at everyone in front of him, and asked, "Where is Jiang Jingyuan?" With so many people, there must be one person with whom he can communicate normally, right?
"Hmm?" The red-haired fox, staring at the sky with a menacing look, suddenly noticed him and reacted with an "Oh." Then, he said, "Jiang Jingyuan's brother, don't worry. Jiang Jingyuan will be back after solving the 'disaster' problem."
Jiang Jingjian's eyelids jumped instantly, "Jiang..." He raised his voice a little in disbelief:
"You said Jiang Jingyuan went—"
"Go and solve the 'disaster.'" The little fox was a little confused and asked in a puzzled tone, "What's the problem?"
“!!!”
Jiang Jingjian's eyes went dark.
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