It motivated me to quit smoking.
Not far from the wrecked vehicle, another military truck was parked, its cargo bed completely covered by a canvas canopy. Lai Yunfei went up to investigate and reported back that everything we wanted had been loaded onto the truck.
It's better to arrive at the right time than to arrive early. If we had arrived a little later, these people might have already left with their loot.
Ten guns were quickly arranged in a circle, but only seven people remained, some kneeling, some wounded, and some unconscious. The man with the hoarse voice was knocked unconscious on the roof of the vehicle; when dragged down, blood was gushing from his nose and ears, but he was still breathing, confirming internal injuries. Zhang Yanhuang's comrade was pushed off the vehicle, injuring his leg, and two others were shot in the limbs; the rest were unharmed.
Yu Zhongjian assigned two men to guard them, and told everyone to drive in quickly and lock the gate tightly. He said it was only a matter of time before the zombies came following the sound, either tonight or tomorrow morning, and they might surround the area. Arriving in Tongcheng, they decided to have a fierce battle first. Since the weapons hadn't been inventoried and Gao Chen hadn't had time to get his business done, they couldn't leave immediately and had to camp there for the night. For those of them with extensive experience fighting zombies, there's always a way to overcome difficulties.
Zhang Yanhuang led us to his company, a four-story building. The beds and bedding in the squad and platoon rooms were all ready-made, and the bunk beds could accommodate ten people, making it very convenient to spend the night.
That group of people shared a room. We didn't restrict their freedom, only confiscated their weapons. Apart from Zhang Yanhuang, three of the six were wounded and unable to move. The remaining three, who had surrendered, were now listlessly caring for the wounded, completely devoid of fighting spirit.
We, a group of ten, split into pairs for night shifts, rotating every two hours. The first shift was between Xiao Li and Da Gan, who had a cut on his waist. The second shift was between Han Bo and me. Once we finished our business, we could switch shifts, and Da Gan could finally get some sleep.
They gathered at the company headquarters, turned on the emergency lights, and Liu and Zhang Yanhuang embraced and wept, telling each other about their experiences since they parted ways. Gao Chen looked around the room, his expression unreadable.
This boy named Liu Sicheng was also a new recruit, a fellow townsman of Zhang Yanhuang, both arriving in Tongcheng on the same train on the same day. After basic training, they were assigned to different battalions and companies, so their missions after the zombie outbreak were different. According to him, during the rescue, the unit was scattered by zombies, and his comrades either died or were transformed. He fought alone in the city for quite some time before finally hitting a ride with a well-prepared survivor. They escaped via unofficial roads and, with a narrow escape, reached the provincial capital, Fengcheng, where he has been taken in by a survivor base ever since.
Liu Sicheng wiped away his tears: "Captain Lin is actually a very good person. He took good care of me when I first arrived at the base half a year ago. However, he was not given important positions and had no say in the matter. I thought that since the weapons and ammunition in the regiment were just sitting there, I might as well help him out, so I brought him here."
It turned out that these people weren't locals either, but rather people from the provincial capital who, like us, coveted this batch of military equipment.
I sat in a chair, my arm propped up on the desk, chin resting on my hand, occasionally yawning, listening listlessly: "How many people are there at the provincial capital base?"
"There are more than 600 people at the Los Angeles base where I am."
I chuckled: "Luo Shiqi, such a flamboyant name, is the base leader selling crystals?"
"No, the original name of that neighborhood was Luo Shiqi."
"Isn't that other base called Cartier?"
Liu Sicheng looked at me in surprise: "Yes, it's called Cartier. I heard that both bases were developed by the same real estate company."
Listen to the fancy names of the provincial capital's bases; compared to that, the Veterans' Base looks so rustic. But calling it the Veterans' Hospital is a different story. In S province, every family with a mentally ill member knows about our Veterans' Hospital. We treat three to five thousand people a year just for depression; in the public's mind, it's a top-tier mental health hospital. But what if one day someone from out of town asks me which base I'm from? "Veterans' Hospital Base" just sounds so incongruous.
After a moment of thought, I came to my senses: "You are Xiao Zhang's comrade-in-arms. If you are willing, you can come with us to Huaicheng. If you are not willing, you can return to the provincial capital. But you should not even think about taking this batch of military equipment."
Liu Sicheng looked at Zhang Yanhuang with a troubled expression: "With Xiao Zhang and our Company Commander Gao, I'm definitely willing to go with you, but what about Captain Lin and the others?"
"Let's go back." I said with a triumphant air. "If you don't try to take our stuff, we can still be good friends."
"Captain Lin has never been able to get ahead in the base, so he's hoping to use this batch of weapons..."
My face darkened: "Xiao Liu, those pointless power struggles at the provincial capital base are none of our business. If that Lin guy wants to get ahead, he'll have to be alive to do it, understand?"
Zhang Yanhuang helped the worried Liu Sicheng out to rest. I yawned and pulled Han Bo's wrist to check my watch: "We'll switch shifts in twenty minutes. Go to sleep, we can talk about it when it's light."
The three male team members went out first, and Gao Chen followed behind, rubbing his temples. I saw that Yu Zhongjian didn't seem to be leaving and even handed Han Bo a cigarette, so I stood up and said, "You guys chat, I'm going to the door to get some fresh air and wake myself up." With that, I quickly followed Gao Chen out the door.
The moment I stepped outside, the cold wind sent a shiver down my spine. A small emergency light sat on the windowsill of the company headquarters. Xiao Li and Gan Mingde stood like two guardian deities on either side of the steps leading to the company entrance. Gao Chen hesitated at the top of the stairs, taking one step, pausing, and then pulling his foot back.
"Do you need a flashlight as you go upstairs?"
When Gao Chen saw me, he shook his head: "It's too late today, let's go up and take a look tomorrow."
"How does it feel to be inside the barracks?"
He slung the gun over his shoulder, his fingers rubbing the butt of the rifle lightly. "To be honest, I don't feel anything special. It felt somewhat familiar when I was outside, but once I came in, it felt like I had entered a strange place. I can't even recall any fragmented memories."
I comforted him, "One reason is that it's dark. Another reason is that you're familiar with a disciplined and well-behaved army and comrades, but we fought a battle ahead, with burning vehicles and injuries. It was very chaotic, so it's definitely not the scene you're familiar with. When it gets light, go and look at the room you stayed in, touch the items you used, and look for any photo albums or letters. You're sure to find something."
Gao Chen was silent for a moment, then smiled faintly and said, "Aifeng, you've been the one who comforted me the most about my amnesia. Thank you."
A tingling sensation ran through me, and my tongue faltered: "Thanking me? You're being too polite. We're...we're..."
“Comrade-in-arms,” he said with certainty. “You, and all the veterans, are my comrades-in-arms. That’s how I see it.”
"Of course, we are comrades-in-arms." The tingling sensation quickly turned into a warm current surging in my heart. For some reason, I didn't feel disappointed at all when I heard the word "comrades-in-arms." On the contrary, I found it particularly pleasant to hear. All my romantic thoughts disappeared, and my chest felt warm.
I think that whether before or after his amnesia, Gao Chen is a man of excellent character. He defines us, who are not familiar with each other, with what he considers the closest relationship. I can hear the affection and gratitude hidden in the word "comrade-in-arms".
He went to sleep, and I stood behind Little Li with my hands behind my back, gazing at the gray-black sky. It had been a long time since I'd seen the moon; tonight, a rare crescent moon hung in the sky, appearing and disappearing among the clouds. The barracks were quiet, with only the rustling of the wind through the treetops.
Far from the gate, I couldn't hear any sounds of zombies closing in. There might be another fierce battle tomorrow morning, but right now I felt incredibly peaceful and calm, even a little bit of happiness. Being with my comrades was reassuring; it was a feeling of trusting others and being trusted.
Lost in my own little happiness, I became complacent and forgot all the practical skills I'd learned in post-apocalyptic survival training. When I finally snapped out of it, I slapped myself twice to wake myself up. So when it was time to change shifts, I saw someone else standing in Han Bo's place. I was momentarily stunned and failed to stick to my principles, giving him the opportunity to chat with me.
"What are you doing standing here? Where's Han Bo?"
"He went to sleep."
"He's supposed to be on night duty, why is he sleeping? I'll go wake him up."
As I turned around, the man grabbed me: "I switched shifts with him, and let him take the early morning shift."
"Let go." I glared at the hand on my arm. "Who gave you permission to change the schedule so easily? Do you have any legitimate reason?"
He let go of my hand, stood to my side with his hands in his pockets, his arms only a few centimeters apart: "I'm the commander, I say change of shift, and that's it."
I staggered back with disdain: "I have the utmost contempt for people who abuse their power for personal gain. So what if you're a commander? I'm the chief agent, and I'm removing you from your post right now!"
“You can leave Huaicheng however you want. The trip to Tongcheng isn’t over yet, so I’m in charge. Don’t forget you still owe me punishment for disobeying orders.” He chuckled casually, pulled out a cigarette from his pocket, lit one, and then offered one to me: “Want one?”
I shook my head, then moved two steps to the left. If I moved any further, I would fall off the steps and end up standing in the flower bed: "What ulterior motive do you have for switching shifts with Han Bo? It's the middle of the night, and I won't accept any punishment."
"I'd like to ask you for advice on how to quit smoking. I used to see you smoke quite heavily, but you quit so easily. Do you have any secrets?"
I'm a pretty chatty person; I can talk all night with close friends over drinks and a plate of peanuts. But with Yu Zhongjian, I can't keep up a conversation. I can tell he's up to no good as soon as I hear his seemingly casual talk, which is actually full of hidden meanings.
You little brat, bring it on!
"Because smoking is bad for a girl's skin, and she'll smell of smoke on her body. When I'm near someone I admire, he'll be able to smell it. If I want to leave a good impression on him, quitting will be easy."
He seemed surprised by my bluntness, and after holding the lighter in front of the cigarette butt for a long time without lighting it, he asked, "So what do you think of men who smoke?"
"I don't like it." I forced a smile. "I've quit smoking, and I hope that no one in the world will smoke anymore."
Before he could finish speaking, his lighter suddenly caught fire, lit his cigarette, took a deep drag, and exhaled a plume of white smoke into the night sky: "Oh, I see. But it's foolish to change yourself for others."
His training uniform collar was half-turned up, his profile was cold and hard. He had his head shaved by Han Bo before leaving, a very short layer close to his scalp. He casually ran his hand holding a cigarette across his head a few times, his expression indifferent with a hint of nonchalance. He looked like a convict... no, a released convict... no, like a middleman dealing in contraband on the black market.
I rolled my eyes at him: "Then you can keep smoking. Just don't change yourself for anyone. But please stay away from me. I don't like the smell of smoke right now."
He scoffed, "People who appreciate you won't care if you smoke. Winning the favor of someone you admire isn't about whether you quit smoking or not. If you think that way, you're not confident enough."
"Okay, you're right. Keep up your post." I raised my gun, looked around through the scope, then put it down and sat on the ground, intending to end this tedious, evasive conversation.
He turned and glanced at me: "You hate me?"
It's here, it's finally here. With a man and woman alone together in the dead of night, I knew his shift change with Han Bo wasn't for anything good. Had he been brewing this for so long that he finally decided to say it? Without expecting to be liked, who would ask someone "Do you hate me?" for no reason?
I don't care if the whole world hates me; it's enough if the people I like don't hate me.
The question was so simple, I knew they wanted an easy answer. My hurtful words were already on the tip of my tongue, but then I thought about how we still had to maintain our relationship, and that making things too awkward would make future cooperation difficult. So I hesitated for a moment and said something a little more gently: "I wouldn't say I hate you, but I don't really like you."
"Is it because of my illness?"
I wanted to say no, but it's the truth! If he weren't sick, I might not find his apparent affection so unbearable. "Uh... partly, but also because I already have..."
"I'd really like to know, what do you consider to be the standard for the cure of mental illness?" Before the person I admired could say it, he interrupted me and asked a question that sent a chill down my spine.
"This..." Why do I suddenly feel a little touched? He overheard the conversation and knows that I can't accept mental illness. He wants to try to heal himself and approach me in a normal state, hoping to gain my favor?
“It is extremely difficult to completely cure mental illness. Most of the time, your condition is no different from that of an ordinary person. Just control your emotions and don’t let your personality split.”
"What's the standard for this timeframe? How long does it take for the alter ego to disappear before it's considered cured? Or, in other words, when can you consider me a normal person—five years, ten years, or a lifetime?"
I was genuinely moved; Yu Zhongjian was serious. He had said he would cherish his life, and now he was determined to stabilize his condition and move towards recovery. Was all of this for me? Could my rejection of mental patients really motivate him to be so positive? The power of unrequited love is indeed strong; it made me quit smoking and inspired him to strive harder.
When I spoke again, my tone was much softer and more sincere: "If you have no symptoms for two years, you are considered basically cured. But you don't need to be too hard on yourself. We are all your friends. Although I said I would believe in you again, as long as you don't give up on yourself, no matter how many unexpected situations occur in the future, I will never give up on helping you."
He lowered his eyes and chuckled softly: "I was just thinking that whether or not one smokes, one can control oneself, but one cannot when one is sick. If a woman as unrestrained as you rejects mental patients, then I'm afraid the girl I admire wouldn't be able to accept it either. In order to get closer to her as soon as possible, I should face my illness squarely and make some efforts."
"Isn't it me?" I was a little stunned. "Who is the girl you admire...?"
He turned his head to the side, a playful glint in his eyes: "Guess."
Once I realized it was a lovesick expression, I quickly hugged my gun tighter: "Don't say such cheesy lines. I'm not guessing. Who cares?"
At six o'clock the next morning, the infantry regiment's gate was crowded with zombies drawn by the noise. Those in the front row might not have consciously pushed the gate, but the crowds behind them pushed and shoved, causing the two iron doors to creak and groan under the weight. Looking out from the roof of the regimental headquarters, the road ahead was blocked by zombies, shoulder to shoulder, the line stretching to the bend in the metasequoia trees and still not seeing the end.
The sprawling barracks were surrounded by zombies at both the front and back gates. The back gate had fewer entrances, but it was located near a hill, and the road was dirt; ultimately, one had to circle back to the main road at the front gate.
Faced with this situation, I wasn't worried, Han Bo wasn't worried, and Yu Zhongjian was even less worried. The reason we didn't leave immediately last night was that traveling through the city at night was far more dangerous. Being stuck in the suburbs and being stuck in the city center are two completely different things. What's a thousand or so zombies in the suburbs attracted by gunfire? We're a team with rocket launchers.
The group leisurely ate their rations while listening to the ghostly cries outside the gate. Yu Zhongjian assigned personnel and vehicles and explained the plan. Zhang Yanhuang accompanied Gao Chen, who had been wandering around early in the morning looking for memory triggers, but they failed to do so. He then retrieved the contents of a travel bag from the company commander's dormitory where Gao Chen had lived, threw it in the car, and planned to study it more carefully when they returned to the veterans' camp.
I went into the room of those people in the provincial capital and saw that Captain Lin had woken up, so I asked Lai Yunfei to bring back their weapons.
"We'll break out later. You guys follow behind in your cars. Once we're out of Tongcheng, we'll go our separate ways. See you again someday."
Captain Lin's voice was even hoarser than last night, and he said with difficulty, "You, you stole our things."
I chuckled: "It didn't even leave the military base, so it doesn't count as your stuff. In the apocalypse, resources are for the capable. Blame yourself for being a step too slow. Be more careful next time."
"Which base in Huaicheng are you from?"
"What, looking for revenge?" I sneered and said arrogantly, "Well, I can't tell you that there are more than thirty bases of all sizes in Huai City. If you can find me, I can give you a chance to fight me one-on-one."
"More than thirty?" People in the provincial capital couldn't believe it.
Captain Lin smiled bitterly: "I'm not as skilled as them, so why seek revenge? My mother-in-law is also from Huaicheng. I was thinking that if I can't make a living in the provincial capital one day, I'll bring my brothers to Huaicheng to beg for food."
"Aren't you already struggling to make a living?" I chuckled inwardly, but didn't show it on my face, saying, "We'll talk about that when you're struggling to make a living."
Han Bo called me from outside, saying that Yu Zhongjian was ready to take action. I walked out of the company, and he greeted me with a sly grin: "You and Xiao Yu were alone together for two hours last night, what did you talk about?"
"You two are in cahoots, didn't he tell you?"
"No."
"Oh." I looked down at the gun, pulled back the bolt, and waved the muzzle at his lower body. I said, "Han, as a man who has been in seven relationships, you made a major mistake in your judgment and analytical skills. You took advantage of my ignorance and blind trust in you, causing me to go astray in handling interpersonal relationships, which seriously affected team unity and my personal reputation. Tell me, how am I supposed to settle this score with you?"
"What are you saying?"
My gaze was icy: "You've misled me by saying that Yu Zhongjian was provoked because he had feelings for me, but that's not true at all!"
Han Bo was so shocked his mouth twisted in disbelief: "Impossible, he likes you. Wait, no, no, Mr. Qi, that night you yourself said that you had already noticed that he was interested in you, and you even analyzed it logically. How did it become that I misled you?"
I was taken aback: "Really?"
Before I could figure it out, Yu Zhongjian's voice came through the walkie-talkie: "Han Boqi Aifeng, assemble at the regimental headquarters, prepare to break out!"
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