Going to the toilet is sinful
I, Qi Aifeng, was born and raised in Huaicheng. I've lived in this area for over twenty years, surrounded by relatives and friends, and have heard countless tales of good and bad. Some say I'm unconcerned with details, some say I'm righteous and optimistic, some say I'm careless, and some say I have a tough style. But the most refreshing thing to date is something a college classmate, let's call him, muttered behind my back: "A tomboy."
Although I don't entirely agree with the word "bitch," I didn't bother her because of the "manly" category. I understand that having many male friends inevitably attracts gossip. Therefore, I've always firmly adhered to the principle of staying away from married women and cutting off contact with those in passionate relationships.
Later, when A's boyfriend cheated on her with a female student, I was the one who stood up for her and tore the scumbag apart. Since then, the word "bitch" has been completely removed from my reputation, but the label of "manly" has been attached to my head.
It's quite disheartening to think about it. I know so many men, including many handsome and virtuous ones, but how come they all end up as best friends? The only one I dated was Wu Bainian. He was incredibly attentive to me when we first met, but as we got to know each other better, he turned around and cheated on me. Am I such a failure as a woman? Where exactly did I go wrong?
"Pretentious"—that's a completely new label. I admit I was stunned for a moment when I heard it. I wasn't angry or annoyed; I even felt like laughing a little. The fact that I've been called pretentious proves two things: first, I have hope of shedding the "tomboy" label; second, Yu Zhongjian's discrimination against women is undeniable.
Silently, I went down the stairs and locked the bathroom door on the second floor. I sat on the toilet, smoking and thinking for a long, long time, pondering my interpersonal relationships, my family situation, and my future prospects. Then my mother started shouting my name and banging on the door.
"Big Wind, Big Wind, are you in there? Don't scare your mother! Come out and tell me what's wrong, and don't do anything stupid! If you don't come out, I'll break down the door!"
I quickly stubbed out my cigarette and opened the door, only to find a group of people standing there, all looking anxious and peering into the bathroom on tiptoe.
"I'm just going to the restroom, what are you all doing?"
"It's really here!" My mom fanned away the fumes with her hand, wrinkled her nose, and yelled angrily, "Did you fall into the toilet? You spent two hours in the bathroom! Didn't you hear the shouts from downstairs? The whole family was frantically looking for you, thinking you'd run away from home. Xiao Bo even slapped himself in the face! You're such a clueless kid!"
Me: ......What a bizarre sight it is to slap yourself in the face! Why don't I get to witness it?
Liu Meili, supporting my mother, chimed in, "That's right! You went to the toilet without saying a word, and we couldn't find you anywhere. Your aunt and uncle were so worried! Even Mr. Yu and the others went out to look for you!"
Chen Ruonan, Qin Yun, Binbin, and Zhao Zhuobao all chimed in, "That's right, that's right."
Do I have to use a megaphone to announce that I need to use the restroom? Faced with the accusing looks from the people, I was at a loss for words. "You didn't even use the restroom. If you had knocked earlier, I would have come out sooner."
Is this my fault? I told them long ago that the generator in the first-floor bathroom was sealed off, but these guys kept using it to save trouble. Nobody wants to climb up to the second floor without showering. I thought I could finally find some peace and quiet here, but I ended up making a fool of myself.
My mom grabbed my ear and said, "Look what you've done! You've been arguing so early in the morning, making the house noisy. Dandan and Xiaobo were worried something had happened to you, and here you are, squatting down and secretly smoking. Don't you have any manners? If you smoke again, I'll sew your mouth shut! What are we going to do now? Everyone's gone out looking for you, and it's almost noon! What are we going to do?!"
"Hey, I'm an adult, I won't get lost even if I go out. Those guys are really making a mountain out of a molehill."
That's not how it's said...
It would have been fine if I hadn't spoken up, but once I did, everyone in the group became unhappy. My mom said I was heartless, Liu Meili said I was too carefree, Zhao Zhuobao said I didn't treat them like family, and even Binbin criticized me for lacking team spirit.
What did I do to deserve this? I just went to the bathroom.
Suddenly feeling like a sinner, I had no choice but to take Zhao Zhuobao out to look for someone. Both cars had been driven away, and we searched everywhere on foot without finding a trace of anyone. Exhausted, we decided to go home and wait. Since they couldn't find me, who had "run away from home," they naturally came back.
Just as I reached the market, I heard a series of urgent car horns behind me. I turned around and saw Han Bo leaning out of the passenger window of a van, waving his arms at me vigorously.
"Strong wind! Strong wind, don't go! Let me explain!"
I:......
Grab me, take me home, carry me to the rooftop, and drag Yu Zhongjian and Zhou Yi in front of me. Han Bo's actions were swift and decisive, giving me no chance to interrupt.
Han Bo: "I'm sorry, I was wrong. What was wrong? I was wrong for lacking team spirit, for not fully recognizing the importance of respecting my teammates, and for making decisions on my own without consulting my family beforehand. I promise I will never make a similar mistake again."
Zhou Yi: "Little sister, as long as you take good care of your sister-in-law, whatever you say will be the same to me. I'll do whatever you say, and I'll work for you without hesitation!"
Yu Zhongjian: "Sigh, whatever." Han Bo nudged him, and he glanced at me before changing his mind: "Whatever you say."
Me: ...These three guys seem to have taken the wrong medicine.
Why would they risk their lives for me? What have I done to deserve this? Have I suddenly become so important? These three, who were secretly plotting to leave my house, seize territory, and make their own way in the world, were all thwarted by a few sarcastic remarks from me? This doesn't make sense!
Han Bo sighed and put his arm around my shoulder: "Fengzi, I admit I was wrong. Don't act like a child. You're a grown man, why are you running away from home? If something happens to you, how are we going to explain it to Uncle Qi and Aunt Cheng? You're deliberately putting me in a bad position."
Zhou Yi said, "It's fortunate that you came back by yourself, otherwise the three of us would have had to apologize with thorns on our backs."
Oh, so it was my trip to the bathroom that broke it down.
I opened my mouth, scratched my head, and felt my face burning. I didn't know what to say for a while: "I...I also made mistakes. I said some harsh things this morning. Please don't take it to heart."
"No, no, no, we were the ones who made a mistake. It's understandable that you're angry."
"Hey... it's nothing serious. I was just being petty. We're family, so let's just forget about it and not hold grudges."
"Look at my sister's magnanimity!"
Yu Zhongjian watched us three awkwardly exchanging fake politeness with a cold eye, then silently finished a cigarette and said, "Since you're not angry anymore, let's talk about the veterans' matter."
Han Bo raised an eyebrow: "Xiao Yu, didn't I already tell you? Da Feng doesn't want to move, so let's not talk about it anymore."
Yu Zhongjian fell silent. I saw him roll his eyes, seemingly rolling them back... I didn't expect him to have learned that too. This gesture is highly contagious; if one person rolls their eyes, the whole family does it. And after a while, you'll appreciate its beauty—it accurately expresses a variety of personal emotions in any situation where you're too lazy to talk. For example, helplessness, discouragement, disdain, annoyance, "None of your business," "None of my business," or "I don't care."
After I had been away from home for two hours and smoked half a pack of cigarettes, I actually figured out why they had kept the matter of cleaning up the veterans from me.
Zhou Yi is the type of person who acts on ideas without considering anyone's feelings or the need to consult with others. Han Bo, on the other hand, is too concerned about my feelings to speak up. After all, I kept reminding him that the person he admires is mentally ill, and I was always skeptical of him, never fully agreeing with any suggestion he made.
As for Yu Zhongjian, he's a completely autocratic person. He only makes decisions in his own mind, and if it weren't for needing people to do the work, I don't think he would even have consulted Han Bo's Book of Changes. After analyzing the situation, he felt that moving to the veterans' quarters was the best option, so he told two close associates, and they did it without bothering to seek others' opinions. Once it was done, he just notified them of the move, and that was it. Who would disagree? This is the best option; you guys should agree if you're not out of your minds.
All three of them are either overthinking things or underthinking them. Each of them believes that their starting point is for everyone's good, so my sourness is pointless. Han Bo and Zhou Yi are somewhat better, but Yu Zhongjian certainly can't understand my behavior of "running away from home" out of anger. He comes to me with a few kind words against his will, but deep down, his evaluation of me has probably risen from being pretentious to being incomprehensible.
Looking at his behavior after his release, and considering this minor incident, I have gained a deeper understanding of this alter ego: hiding his egocentrism beneath his exceptional talent, truly a product of Yu Yu's influence.
I smiled slightly, my eyelids drooping: "Let's talk. There are twenty people in the family now. My mother is overwhelmed, and we urgently need to solve the problems of food and lodging; two seriously ill patients need better conditions for treatment and recovery; four vehicles are a big target, two trucks have nowhere to park, and the captured food and weapons are still stored in the open on the trucks. If it rains, the losses will be heavy. So we really need to move to a more suitable place. I had carefully considered the Veterans Hospital before, and I was planning to wait for you to come back and hold a meeting to discuss it. I didn't expect you to have thought of that already, so let's continue clearing. If no one in the family objects, we will move. If someone objects, we should listen to their reasons. I'm not saying this to show off my democracy, but I think that since we plan to survive together in the apocalypse, unity should be the top priority. After all, in the future, we may have to rely on each other at any time. What do you think?"
Han Bo scrunched up his features and clicked his tongue hard: "See that? This is my Da Feng, so good at talking!"
Yu Zhongjian raised an eyebrow, a faint smile appearing on his lips. He didn't say anything more, clearly having achieved his goal; I had made clear what he had been pondering but hadn't intended to explain.
"Hey, after all that fuss, it's all the same thing!" Zhou Yi said impatiently, "Let's have a meeting, right now! I'm making this clear: once we move to the Veterans Hospital, your sister-in-law and I need to be assigned to adjacent rooms. I'm worried about her living alone. Of course, it would be even better if we could have a suite with a bathroom!"
I looked at Han Bo hesitantly: "Whose brother is this sister-in-law...?"
Han Bo shrank back: "Anyway, it's not Sister-in-law Han."
“Sister-in-law Zhou! This day will come eventually,” Zhou Yi said confidently.
After lunch, a meeting was convened. The living room was too small to fit everyone, so several people crowded at the doorway, men and women with piercing eyes, as if they were blocking the door to collect a debt.
The first item on the agenda, chaired by my father, was a personal and collective critique of my two-hour unannounced bathroom break, which had caused chaos and unrest at home. It ended with me promising the assembly that from now on, even if I wanted to secretly fart, I would have to report it first.
They all started complaining about me, but instead of feeling embarrassed or annoyed, I discovered a certain benefit in being a little dramatic. It seems that occasionally throwing a tantrum or being a little temperamental actually greatly enhances my sense of self-worth!
The concept of presence is a subtle thing. Some people are clearly big and burly, towering like iron towers, standing out in a crowd, yet people often overlook or even forget their existence, like Li Tonggu. When Han Bo cautiously mentioned the relocation, he mentioned that Li Tonggu was guarding the prisoners alone at the auto repair shop, and that he had to bring him lunch today. Only then did I realize he wasn't there; his presence was so incredibly low, practically nonexistent.
The move indeed sparked controversy, with my dad leading the opposition. Others, such as my mom and my brother, had their own ideas, but influenced by the traditional belief that a woman should follow her husband wherever he goes, or by the halo of being a saint, they decided to stand with Lao Qi.
My father's strong argument was that the Qi family compound had been through many trials, including demolition, development, organized crime, and even being surrounded by zombies, proving its value. It was indestructible and unbreakable, and as the eldest son of the Qi family to inherit the family business, he could not abandon the ancestral property.
“Uncle, the house is still here, it will always be your house, you can come back whenever you want. The main thing is that there are too many people now, the other side is bigger and safer.”
“That’s true, there are a lot of people. Why don’t you young people go over there? I’ll stay here and watch the house. I’m an old man, it doesn’t matter.” My dad’s words shut up everyone who tried to persuade him.
Yu Zhongjian leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, head down, silent. Han Bo looked at me helplessly. I chuckled inwardly. Isn't he your uncle? You promised to stay with him and not go anywhere else. Now you want to take the old man away again.
"Mom," I sat down next to my mom and put my arm around her, "Did you put on a heat pack? Is your back feeling any better?"
My mom glanced at my dad, who happened to be looking over too: "Is your back hurting again?"
My mom smiled and said, "It's okay, it doesn't hurt too much."
My dad looked unwell, so I quickly said, "Meili, you just checked Mom's back, is there anything wrong?"
Liu Meili looked worried: "The situation is not good. Auntie's lumbar spine disease is already very serious. Hot compresses alone are not enough. She has to get injections, take medicine, and undergo physical therapy at the same time. If this is delayed any longer, her mobility will probably be affected."
I exclaimed dramatically, "Wow! It's that serious?"
Liu Meili added fuel to the fire: "Yes, some patients become paralyzed in the later stages..."
My dad's face turned completely black.
I gave Chen Ruonan and Qin Yun a wink, and they immediately put on tearful faces: "Auntie, we're so useless. You work so hard, cooking for so many people every day, your back is so sore you can't even straighten up. We're so sorry!"
Several men also thanked my mother.
My mom waved her hand and said, "What are you talking about? You've helped me a lot all the time."
I sighed, "Our kitchen is so small, we can't get anything done if everyone squeezes in, it's not your fault. But Mom's back can't be put off any longer. How about this, Dad, you stay here and watch the house, let Mom come with me to the Veterans Hospital for a while. We have imported physiotherapy equipment there, let her recuperate there for a few months, and come back when her back is better."
My dad looked at my mom with a pained expression, then looked at me and frowned: "Are you going to leave me home alone?"
"Why are you alone? Aren't Xiao Hei and the others with you? And me too, I won't leave if you don't. We'll take care of cooking here. Anyway, my mom's back needs treatment. You, as her husband, don't care about her, but I, as her daughter, do. I'll just run back and forth."
My dad glared at me: "Nonsense! Who said I don't care about your mother? I mean... do you really want to separate me from your mother?"
"Wow, that imported high-tech intelligent physiotherapy device is huge, we can't fit it in our house." I swung my arm around in a huge circle with all my might.
My mom kept saying it was nothing, but the more she talked, the more troubled the old man became. He leaned back on the sofa, deep in thought, and stopped talking. I ignored him and started introducing the situation at the Veterans Hospital to everyone. Afterwards, Han Bo organized a new round of "diversion" voting.
First, half the people raised their hands, and then when my dad raised his hand, the other half quickly cast their votes in favor.
The relocation arrangements have been finalized, but the actual move may still take some time.
The entire team took a nap late into the night, and I drove Zhao Zhuobao to the auto repair shop to deliver food to Li Tonggu so he could relieve me from my shift. He sat in the passenger seat, constantly fidgeting and whining, which gave me goosebumps.
"You're covered in maggots? Sit up straight!"
Zhao Zhuobao leaned towards me: "Aifeng, I want to ask you something."
"Sit up!" I snapped. He quickly sat up straight, grinning lewdly. "Aifeng, Aifeng, look how good we are. Can you tell me what the new girl's name is?"
I glanced at him speechlessly: "What's wrong? I haven't even settled accounts with you for getting close to Xiao Chen and Xiao Qin behind my back, and you're planning to cheat on me again?"
Zhao Zhuobao looked wronged: "Xiao Chen and Xiao Qin avoid me whenever they see me. I don't know why! I didn't cheat on them. I only love you. I just wanted to ask them what their names are so I could greet them when we meet."
"Call me sister-in-law." That's how someone who hasn't been beaten enough gets so bold; you even dare to mess with people from the I Ching.
Outside the main gate of the Veterans Hospital, a pile of zombie corpses was stacked in a tower shape, numbering about fifty or sixty. Black blood was everywhere, severed limbs were scattered, and grotesque heads rolled on the street. The stench of the dead was so strong that it could be smelled for miles. The scene was truly horrifying.
I don't know whose idea this was, but it's like a display of war achievements and a declaration of sovereignty. It must have a deterrent effect. At least, when I saw this bunch of smelly, gruesome dead things, I wanted to hold my nose and walk around them.
In broad daylight, the courtyard inside the electronic gate was extremely quiet. The wind rustled through the green trees, and the zombies seemed to have vanished without a trace.
But I knew that the cleanup had only just begun. That day, Yu Dandan released most of the zombies from the second and third floors, and the pile of corpses at the entrance was only a small fraction of them.
When I was still a hundred meters away from the auto repair shop, I spotted Li Tonggu standing on the roof of the shop. He was holding a gun and looking down into the yard. His towering figure looked very intimidating.
"Little Li, come down for dinner."
As I entered the small gate, I glanced around the courtyard and couldn't help but chuckle. It was as if a large-scale replica of the scene after the failed robbery by the six-man gang of Blackie was unfolding before my eyes.
A dozen or so men, their faces bruised and battered, draped in red ribbons and tattered cloth, lay huddled on the ground in two rows, bound by ropes and tattered rags under the scorching sun. Not one could be missing. Some were crying out, some were struggling, but under the occasional raised muzzle of Li Tonggu's gun, not a single one dared to leave their spot.
Li Tonggu came down to receive the food. I counted the number of people, going over and over again, but the number didn't match the number mentioned in the Book of Changes.
"Little Li, weren't there supposed to be twenty-two? Why are there only twenty people here?"
Li Tonggu pointed to the factory building, "There are two more inside."
I laughed: "There are VIP treatments too?" As I spoke, I went into the factory.
Li Tonggu suddenly stepped aside and blocked my way: "Don't go in."
I squinted: "What's wrong?"
With a mouthful of rice stuffed in his mouth, he mumbled, "There's a dead person inside, it stinks, and I haven't burned it yet even though you told me to."
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I'm speechless...
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