Volume 1 Chapter 10 Dare not speak, dare not hope
The morning light is dim and golden.
Xu Jingmo gently pushed open the door of his home. The scene before him made him slow down his breathing involuntarily. It was as if time had stopped. He stood quietly at the door.
Du Ruo was wearing a white cotton and linen Tai Chi suit. Her long black hair was braided into a side braid and casually draped over her shoulders, adding a touch of casual charm.
She was sitting cross-legged in front of the French window, meditating quietly, as if she was isolated from the noisy world and immersed in her own mysterious inner world.
The sunlight shines through the window and onto her body, coating her figure in a golden halo. Her face appears particularly soft in the interweaving of light and shadow. Her eyes are slightly closed, and her long eyelashes cast a faint shadow in the morning light, sacred and inviolable.
Xu Jingmo stared at her without blinking, his heart beating like a drum. The person he had been thinking about day and night was right in front of him. She was there yesterday and she is still there today. He was really not dreaming.
The scene from last night's dream seemed to come back again. He felt his throat dry and unbearable. He licked his lips subconsciously and swallowed his saliva. He knew that his eyes must be full of lust at this moment and she might find it if she closed her eyes. However, he was still reluctant to look away, for fear that he would miss even one less second.
He stood at the door like a sculpture for who knows how long. Du Ruo closed his eyes and sat quietly as before.
Suddenly, Du Ruo's voice broke the silence, "How long do you plan to watch?"
Xu Jingmo coughed dryly and said stubbornly, "Who said I was looking at you?"
Du Ruo slowly opened her eyes and met his gaze. For a moment, Xu Jingmo's heart seemed to skip a beat and he was so nervous that he involuntarily clenched the takeout bag in his hand.
Du Ruo just glanced at him briefly, then closed her eyes again, gently twisted her neck, stretched her shoulders, stood up as if nothing had happened, and said casually, "Then why are you standing at the door like an idiot?"
She spoke in a very nonchalant tone, as if she didn't care whether he was staring at her just now or not.
Xu Jingmo put on his slippers, walked into the house, put the breakfast he had bought on the dining table, and said half-jokingly, "I'm afraid I'll bother you. What if you hit me again?"
Du Ruo sneered, "You hold a grudge. I haven't beaten you in years."
Xu Jingmo didn't respond, thinking to himself, he would be happy to be beaten every day, as long as he could see her.
Du Ruo came over with her cell phone. Let's see what he bought: steamed buns, fried dough sticks, soy milk, porridge, tofu pudding, sugar-coated steamed buns, stuffed pancakes...all kinds of Chinese breakfast.
"Did you move the breakfast shop here?" she asked in surprise.
Xu Jingmo casually said, "I don't know what you like to eat, so I bought some of everything. I'll take the rest back to school and share it with my roommates. Just pick what you like."
Du Ruo sat down, handed him the phone and said, "I want to drink coffee. I don't know the specific name and building number of your community. Please input it for me. I'd like to order a strong Americano without milk or sugar. Thank you."
Xu Jingmo took the phone and sat next to her. After entering the address, he found an open coffee shop on the food delivery platform and placed an order. He also backed up the specific address information on her WeChat and turned to ask, "Why did you get up so early? I thought you needed to adjust to the jet lag."
"I didn't sleep at all."
Du Ruo opened a bowl of tofu pudding and took a sip. It tasted salty, a little different from what she had imagined. She was stunned for a moment and said nothing. Just when she was about to take a second bite, Xu Jingmo suddenly reached out and took the bowl in front of her and handed her a bowl of eight-treasure porridge.
"The tofu pudding in the north city is all salty. If you're not used to it, don't force yourself. There are so many varieties, pick the one you like."
Du Ruo was just about to say that it would be a waste if he didn't finish it, when he saw Xu Jingmo calmly take a new spoon, scoop a mouthful of tofu pudding into his mouth, and said naturally: "I'll eat it, it won't be wasted."
Du Ruo was dazed for a moment, blinking at him, with a hint of doubt in her heart.
She didn't say anything, right? How did he know she didn't like it?
And...why doesn't he seem to mind the food she's eaten...
"Why don't you sleep?" Xu Jingmo's voice interrupted her thoughts.
"ah?"
Du Ruo felt a little weird in her heart, but before she could react, Xu Jingmo suddenly changed the subject, "You want to practice Taoism?" He looked at her with a teasing look.
Du Ruo came back to her senses, lowered her head and took a sip of the eight-treasure porridge. It was sweet and delicious. She calmly replied, "I'm used to it. A few hours of sleep a day is enough. I slept well yesterday afternoon."
Xu Jingmo looked at her without saying anything. Du Ruo raised her eyes and met his dark eyes that were filled with unknown emotions. She asked, "What's wrong?"
Xu Jingmo: "This is not a good schedule. You are only 17. Lack of sleep will harm your body."
Du Ruo said nonchalantly: "I have a physical examination every year, and there is nothing wrong with me. I am just full of energy."
Xu Jingmo then continued, "You can't sleep at night, and you drink coffee during the day? And you drink strong Americano? I have never suffered so much in my life."
Du Ruo found his exaggerated statement a little funny, and suddenly remembered the days when he had fought side by side with his senior brothers and sisters in the laboratory. Each of them relied on coffee to survive, took turns to rest for a few hours, and then continued to devote themselves to the tense experimental problems.
With a cup of coffee in hand, he continued to move bricks, with no time to rest or sleep.
Du Ruo responded jokingly: "How can coffee be as bitter as studying? I hope you will never understand the bitterness of American coffee."
“…”
She was clearly joking, but Xu Jingmo couldn't laugh at all and felt deeply distressed.
She is only 17. While her peers are enjoying a carefree youth, she has never even had a cup of milk tea. She is obsessed with various data and experiments every day, shouldering responsibilities far beyond her age. Does a genius have to be a genius? What's wrong with being an ordinary person?
Xu Jingmo sighed and asked, "Are you tired...being alone in a foreign country?"
"Not tired. I'm young and everyone takes special care of me. I'm popular wherever I go." Du Ruo answered easily and picked up another sugar-coated steamed bun. She took a bite and found the perfect combination of rich sesame paste and brown sugar. The sweet and soft taste was amazing. Her eyes lit up instantly and she took another big bite.
Xu Jingmo noticed her little expression, and the corners of his mouth rose unconsciously, but he felt mixed emotions in his heart.
She still loves sweets as much as she did when she was a child, and prefers all kinds of sweet things. Many habits that are deeply hidden cannot be changed.
There was a little girl who loved to laugh when she was young, but after she went out to study for a while, she no longer loved to laugh when she came back.
The little princess who grew up in luxury has become able to tolerate anything after going abroad for some time.
I started traveling abroad alone at the age of 9. Every time I came back, I said I wasn’t tired, I wasn’t hard, and I wasn’t afraid. But...is it really like that?
He doesn't know.
He only knew that one day, the playmate he thought he had grown up with made him realize that no matter how hard he tried, he could not keep up with her.
And she gradually became a dream that he hid deep in his heart, a dream that he dared not speak of or hope for.
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