Volume 1 Chapter 21 Not all parents are qualified
Children are not tools for showing off, but treasures to be cared for. Many people never understand this in their entire lives.
Unfortunately, not all parents are equal.
The role of "parents" is actually born the moment the child is born.
On the road from childhood to adulthood, besides family, there are also schools, teachers, friends, noble people, difficulties and setbacks... All these experiences and lessons shape a person's life.
Life offers many possibilities and opportunities for trial and error. What children have the most is the courage to question the world loudly.
Parents are different. They often do not need to pass any test to obtain this privilege "in the name of love".
The ancients said: "The grace of giving birth and raising a child is greater than heaven."
How many people use this privilege to ruthlessly hurt those who have loved them unconditionally since birth, accepting no education, no rebuttal, and blindly enjoying their supreme power.
Du Ruo organized his words, looked at them and said, "Let me make it clear that what I'm going to say next is not to excuse anyone. I'm just sharing my experience with you as someone who has been through it. I was also at your age, so I can understand how you feel now. I was also sad and confused when I was a child, but now I'm grown up and can see things more clearly and understand a lot of things."
"I am willing to share my personal experience with you two, but it does not mean that the path I have walked is the right path for you. You all have your own subjective consciousness now, so just listen to it. It is up to you to decide whether to adopt it or not."
Du Yao and Xu Siyan both nodded seriously, more attentively than when they were listening to the teacher in school.
Du Ruo said, "Si Yan, actually every family has its own problems. I dealt with Uncle Xu when I was very young. He is a strong and overbearing person in his bones. He really minds when someone disobeys him. To be honest, I hate him because of your brother. You should have heard that your brother was always beaten when he was a child."
"Yeah, I heard from my mother." Xu Siyan nodded in response.
Du Ruo: "But you didn't see it with your own eyes. I did. Your dad, he was holding a golf club, chasing Xu Jingmo in your villa, hitting him from the third floor to the first floor. Xu Jingmo also said that the clubs your dad broke from hitting him could fill up a garage."
Xu Siyan was shocked and found it hard to imagine how much that was.
Du Ruo: "Many things can only be remembered deeply if you see them with your own eyes. I thought parents spanked their children by hitting their hands or buttocks. I have never seen someone as cruel as your father. With one hit, Xu Jingmo was left with a shocking red mark."
"To be honest, if it were anyone else, I think they would cry and give in. No one would be willing to endure the beating without fear of pain. But your brother is the exception."
"You envy your brother for being able to do whatever he wants now, but that is the freedom he gained after years of struggle. That is not your parents' preference, but a compromise after they had no other choice."
"Your shining points are different from your brother's. To be honest, none of the beatings Xu Jingmo received were innocent. When he was a child, dogs would run around him. He will never be as cute and sensible as you in his life. Uncle Xu has a strong personality and hates being disobeyed. It's not that he doesn't like your brother, but he doesn't like your brother's rebellious nature and hates his dignity being challenged."
"Similarly, he doesn't want to use your brother to suppress you. He is still doing this for himself. He wants to use you to prove that his education method is correct and that Xu Jingmo is wrong. So he especially hopes that you can surpass your brother in all aspects."
Xu Siyan was still young and did not understand that there were many different ways of education, but Du Ruo explained it in a simple and easy-to-understand way, so he understood it.
Asked: "So it's not my problem, it's my father's problem, can you understand it that way?"
Du Ruo nodded: "Of course, you are so well behaved, how could anyone not like you."
Xu Siyan: "I really thought my father didn't like me, that's why he always compared me with my brother."
Du Ruo was so angry that she couldn't help but blurt out: "Your father is arrogant and conceited, and he especially loves to preach to others. You treat him as a fart."
She immediately regretted it after she said it. After all, Xu Siyan was not Xu Jingmo, who would take the initiative to say bad things about his father to her.
Xu Siyan has been a very well-behaved child since he was young. It is really rude and bad for her to say bad things about his father in front of others.
Unexpectedly, Xu Siyan couldn't help laughing out loud, and didn't look angry at all.
Du Ruo couldn't help but wonder, look at Uncle Xu's popularity, neither of his two sons likes him.
Xu Siyan smiled. It turned out that the idol who was always emotionally stable would also be dissatisfied with his father. It seemed that his father's problems were really serious.
Seeing that he was not angry, Du Ruo continued, "I am not teaching you to resist Uncle Xu. How should I put it? There are many truths that you may not understand even if I tell you now. You will only understand them after you experience them yourself."
"As humans have evolved, we have developed a series of rules based on natural laws, social customs, and legal systems. Most of us live under these rules."
"But that doesn't mean the rules are necessarily correct, it's just that the existing rules will ensure that our world won't collapse."
"You want to ask who makes the rules? I don't know. What I can tell you is that only those who have a say can make the rules."
"We have been taught since childhood to be kind, righteous, polite, wise, and trustworthy, and to be gentle, kind, respectful, and tolerant. Children should listen to their parents, students should listen to their teachers, and subordinates should listen to their bosses... It's not because they are necessarily right, but because they are stronger than us and they think they are right. Before we came into contact with the world, our worldview was also formed by them."
"But each of us is an independent individual in the world. As our minds become sounder, our knowledge becomes richer, and our worldviews become more established, we will have troubles because we can feel what is right and wrong, good and bad."
"Your father's words made you uncomfortable, and now that you are aware of it, it means that you are making the rules of your own world."
"I just want to tell you that the strong can ignore the rules, but the weak need to adapt to them. Especially for humans, the moral shackles are very heavy. For example, your current food, clothing, shelter, and worry-free life are all due to your good rebirth. You can't complain and say that I wish I had changed your parents. If you were born into an extremely poor family, you might have more troubles."
"Uncle Xu has his shortcomings, but he also has his strengths. Both parents are first-time parents, so you can't expect them to be perfect. It's good enough if they can pass the test. Even if there is a summary of wrong questions, it doesn't mean that they will definitely get full marks next time. Besides, no one is a perfect child. Can you say that you have never made trouble?"
"To put it simply, when you encounter a problem, you can try to actively communicate, tell them the facts and the reason. The best outcome is that they can correct their mistakes. If communication is ineffective in the end, then you should not think too much. Temporarily adapt to the rules of your family, improve your abilities as soon as possible, and become the one with the right to speak. You can ignore the rules like your brother, or you can change the rules. Do you understand what I mean?"
"Yes!" Xu Siyan nodded repeatedly with bright eyes, admiring him even more. He was indeed his idol. He understood!
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