regret
At noon, Chen Chi finally managed to free up some time for lunch. Taking advantage of the opportunity, the psychologist he had urgently hired arrived at his room and was waiting to examine him.
The psychologist was German, and the consultation process was very rigorous, with the conversation intentionally steered in a relaxed direction.
How's your diet lately?
"How are you feeling? Did anything interesting happen?"
Have you acted impulsively recently?
Chen Chi sat across from him, his expression indifferent and solemn, revealing nothing unusual. He answered all the questions posed by the psychologist in an orderly and organized manner, with clear logic, distinct thoughts, and a fast speaking pace.
During a break while Chen Chi was taking an electronic quiz, the psychologist casually remarked, "Your partner is very worried about you."
Chen Chi paused in clicking the mouse, looked at Chu Sinian sitting beside him, and gave him a frank smile.
He was somewhat infatuated. "Yes, he loves me very much."
The psychologist silently took out a pen and crossed out an item in the notes: "Unable to interact normally with others."
He capped his pen. “Sir, for the sake of those who love you, I hope you will not lie in the exam.”
Chen Chi glanced at Chu Sinian and said, "No."
The psychologist didn't refute her, but instead started talking to Chu Sinian: "What are your thoughts on your lover? Or what do you know about them?"
Chu Sinian thought for a moment and said, "He is... sometimes impulsive, sometimes too calm, but when he goes crazy, he doesn't act recklessly."
“He loves me very much; I could say there is no one in the world who loves me more than him. He is usually very emotionally stable, but he might feel uneasy when I'm not around. I don't know much about this because he has never told me about it. I guess he gets a little anxious and restless when I'm not around.”
The psychologist said, "Your partner seems to have a tendency towards separation anxiety. During our conversation just now, I could clearly sense your partner's unease; he seemed very afraid that you would leave or that something bad would happen to him."
Chen Chi frowned slightly and put his hand down: "I've finished the questions."
Chen Chi turned his gaze to Chu Sinian, his hands, which were placed beside his legs, slowly clenched into fists, his eyes revealing a deep affection beneath his calm demeanor.
Chu Sinian couldn't help but move his legs, wanting to walk over, but he bit his lip, turned his head away, and simply refused to look.
The psychologist, who had seen many cases and was very familiar with Chen Chi's condition, said, "Sir, a specific brain CT scan needs to be performed at the hospital. Your blood test results are already in."
He glanced at Chu Sinian, then looked back at him: "Do family members need to leave?"
“No need,” Chu Sinian replied, and Chen Chi nodded in agreement.
"My preliminary conclusion is that the manic episode has not relapsed, but there will be mild manic remnants, and the emotions will be more intense than those of an average person. Compared to the manic state, Mr. Chen's separation anxiety is much more severe."
"Mr. Chen believes that the people he cares about may be in danger at all times. If he cannot be by their side, it will cause great panic, similar to human infants being separated from their mothers and unable to survive in the jungle. This will have a great impact on Mr. Chen's physical and emotional health, making it impossible for him to live a normal life."
Chu Sinian unconsciously gripped the chair tighter.
Chen Chi remained calm, his gaze fixed on the other person's hand, and said softly, "It's alright, it will be fine."
The psychologist was somewhat surprised that the patient could understand the Chinese sentence. The patient's resilience was clearly beyond expectations; even in this state, she was still able to immediately notice her partner's emotions and offer comfort.
He was somewhat relieved. The treatment period for separation anxiety is very long and the process is very torturous. It requires gradually widening the distance between the two people and helping the patient rebuild a sense of security in the absence of their partner.
It's like a complete transformation.
But this patient seems willing to improve for his partner, and the patient's tendency to help himself is the best treatment.
The consultation didn't last long, and the lunch break I had finally managed to free up ended on my flight to Japan.
After Chu Sinian got off the plane and returned to Dong'an, the first step in his treatment, as advocated by the psychologist, was to remove the surveillance camera from his bedroom.
Chen Chi disagreed; after all, they had argued about this before, with Chu Sinian eventually giving in. However, his real-time location was still on his phone, and Chu Sinian, unwilling to back down on his illness, unusually assertive, ordered the removal of all the hidden cameras.
Watching that pile of things being carried out of the apartment, Chu Sinian felt a chill run down his spine.
Chen Chi's flight time was shorter than Chu Sinian's, and he landed in Japan about a day earlier. During the removal of the surveillance equipment, he was arguing with the supplier.
Chu Sinian wasn't worried about Chen Chi going crazy. After all, even if he went crazy, he would just fly back to Dong'an and say some nonsensical harsh words. If he stayed by his side and didn't leave, he wouldn't be able to do anything else.
Nevertheless, Chu Sinian would send Chen Chi a video every half hour to report what he was doing.
Meanwhile, Chen Chi, having finished his argument, opened WeChat and saw dozens of videos from when he woke up until noon. Each video was of different lengths, some were a dozen seconds long, and others were more than ten minutes long.
Chen Chi realized something was wrong, went back to the hotel and checked his computer, and immediately understood.
He frowned deeply, his heart felt like it was being squeezed, and a huge wave of panic washed over him, making it almost impossible for him to breathe.
Chen Chi immediately made a video call, and the other party answered within two seconds, with a slender upper body appearing on the screen.
Chu Sinian rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, held the bowl and stirred the eggs. He stepped back a little to show his face and said with a smile, "What are you doing?"
A warm current inexplicably flowed from his boiling heart all the way to soothe his restless bones, and Chen Chi's indifferent expression unconsciously softened a bit. "Just finished a business meeting, we'll have lunch later."
He stared at the forearm, wrist, and fingertips in front of the camera, which were glistening with water, like cold jade wet with water, inexplicably beautiful.
Chen Chi lowered his voice: "Why are you cooking for yourself? Aren't your hands cold with them wet?"
"Don't send me food anymore. I want to cook for myself today. It's warm at home with the heating on. Your time is an hour ahead of Beijing time. Aren't you going to eat?"
"I'll wait for you to come with me. I'm not busy this afternoon; I only have two site visits."
Aren't you hungry?
"fine."
Chu Sinian cooks very slowly, just as slowly as he eats.
Because someone was waiting for him, Chu Sinian forced himself to work faster, appearing somewhat flustered. Meanwhile, Chen Chi, who was on a video call, would occasionally chuckle while looking at the documents, which annoyed Chu Sinian.
He took the stir-fried tomatoes and eggs out of the pan, coldly tossed them in front of the camera, and said, "Look, isn't it funny?"
Chen Chi suppressed a smile and commented earnestly, "It looks delicious. I want to eat it."
"You don't have that kind of luck." Chu Sinian rolled his eyes at him, picked up a steaming hot tomato and put it in his mouth. It was so delicious that he almost cried.
This was the first time he had ever cooked something so delicious, and he smiled broadly at the camera, saying, "I'll have my signature dish when you come back."
Chen Chi hummed in agreement, "Niannian is great."
Chu Sinian looked at the handsome man on the screen with a cold and aloof expression. It didn't seem out of place at all when he was seriously coaxing someone. He didn't know if it was because he was used to it or if Chen Chi really praised him too much.
Chen Chi's lunch was sushi rice. He ate very quickly, but seeing Chu Sinian chewing slowly, he slowed down as well, chewing at the same pace as Chu Sinian, as if he were right next to him.
Both of them tacitly avoided talking about the surveillance. After dinner, Chu Sinian prepared to go to the research institute to connect with the colleague in charge of the data.
He put the dishes in the dishwasher, washed his hands, put on his coat, picked up his phone, and was about to leave when Chen Chi reminded him through the screen: "Wear your scarf, it's cold in Dong'an today."
Chu Sinian put down his phone and went to the dressing room to put on a red scarf. His delicate lips and nose were hidden under the red fabric, and his voice sounded a little muffled. As he put on his shoes, he said, "I have to go to the research institute, so it's not convenient to make a video call."
Chen Chi nodded and said, "I want to see you."
Chu Sinian blinked, and while waiting for the elevator, he raised his phone and looked directly at the camera, as if gazing at him across a distance: "The doctor said we need to isolate for a short time. You've already done that this morning, so how about you hang in there for another afternoon?"
The dim light in the stairwell made those eyes appear especially sincere, earnest, and somewhat endearing.
Chen Chi rested his temples on his hands, his expression indifferent and seemingly unmoved. "Niannian, your coquettishness won't work."
The elevator arrived, and Chu Sinian stepped inside, pressed the floor button, and winked at the screen, "Really? I can end the video call now."
The lukewarm threat was blown away like cotton wool by the wind, and Chen Chi could not suppress his soft heart, along with the surging panic at the same time.
He remained indifferent, putting on a hypocritical act, "I just want to see you, I miss you so much, don't be so cruel to me, Nian Nian,"
Chu Sinian smiled and said in the rapidly descending elevator, "When you were spying on me, did you ever think about how cruel you could be to me?"
The other party clearly paused.
Chu Sinian said helplessly, "The research institute really can't video chat with you. You'll have to get used to it sooner or later."
He stepped out of the elevator and into the garage, put his phone on the holder, and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. "Even if I really die when we get to the research institute, you can trust me that nothing will happen to me. Haven't you been protecting me very well during this time?"
"Which of those rumors from the outside world have reached my ears? What problem is there with my personal safety? You protect me so well that I can hardly even get a scratch on my finger. Don't worry, Chen Chi, I will fight to live even for you."
The Mercedes broke through the shadows of the underground parking garage and sped toward the rising sun. Chu Sinian smiled at the solemn and aloof man behind the camera, "After all, I have to spend my whole life with you."
Chen Chi hung up the video call.
He placed his phone flat on the desk, the faint echo penetrating his eardrums and pounding his heart.
The sunlight cast a soft glow on his arm, warming his black clothes. Beneath Chen Chi's cold and stern face, his blood boiled. He inexplicably recalled the night in Cancun, those eyes that looked up at the starry sky with an intense thirst for truth.
Chen Chi did not think it was wrong for him to spy on Chu Sinian, and he has never thought so until now.
He didn't understand why Chu Sinian was crying. He tried to put himself in Chu Sinian's shoes and put himself in a state of being completely monitored by his lover. His first feeling was excitement.
An unusual and peculiar feeling of satisfaction and excitement.
Chen Chi does not deny that he is a person with a strong desire for control, but the unpredictability of life always terrifies him.
He was meticulous in his scientific research and career, using all kinds of harsh and extreme methods to achieve his goals, but he couldn't bring himself to be ruthless towards Chu Sinian.
How could he possibly use the word "ruthless"? The moment he saw someone, his heart and emotions would turn against him, and his heart would soften like warm water flowing towards Chu Sinian, wanting only to gently envelop him.
Two completely different ways of thinking kept tugging at his mind. He compromised and compromised, but in the end, he still managed to come up with a result that made Chu Sinian cry.
He still didn't think he was wrong, but he was heartbroken with regret.
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