In the library.
Bai Xiaoru lingered in front of each bookshelf for a while, looking for books she needed.
"Found it!"
Upon seeing the book she wanted, Bai Xiaoru reached out to take it, but unfortunately, the book was placed very high, and she wasn't tall enough to reach it. Even on tiptoe, she was still a little short.
Almost there... so close... almost there...
Suddenly, a large, fair hand reached out from behind Bai Xiaoruo and easily took the book she wanted.
"You want this book, don't you?"
Bai Xiaoruo withdrew her hand and stood still, not daring to turn around and look back.
She knew who the voice belonged to.
She really didn't dare to face him.
Hesitation lasted for a second, then another.
"So, I've become someone Xiaoruo dislikes?"
He smiled bitterly, thinking that she probably didn't need him anymore.
"No!" Bai Xiaoruo explained anxiously, turning back to look at him. "I don't hate you... In my heart, Brother Ziqian will always be the best brother."
Brother? To her, he was still just a brother... no matter how much time had passed...
"Xiao Ruo, loud noises are not allowed in the library. Would you mind coming outside to talk?"
"I... um."
Some things are better discussed face-to-face.
***
Bai Xiaoruo and Ji Ziqian arrived at the school's basketball court. Few students would pass by at this time, and it was Ji Ziqian who started the conversation.
"Xiao Ruo, it's been a while since we last saw each other. How have you been?"
"Hmm...it's fine." She answered Ji Ziqian's question calmly.
Aside from saying "It's fine," she really didn't know what else to say to Ji Ziqian.
"Xiao Ruo, please forgive my cowardice. I was really useless that night for not saving you right away."
He felt even more indebted to her, which is why he hadn't dared to contact her.
"No. In that situation, I wouldn't blame you for keeping your distance from me... There's no need to fight back, and I don't want you to get hurt because of me."
"That night... I kissed you without your permission. I was so wrong... I'm so sorry. I won't do it again, really."
"It's okay...it's all in the past."
Actually, Bai Xiaoruo had long since stopped caring about this belated apology. Even if she was still conflicted, it had already happened, so who could she blame?
"Xiao Ruo, tell me honestly, that man... isn't actually your cousin, right? Who is he?"
Later, Ji Ziqian still didn't have anyone investigate Xuan Mingyu's identity or his relationship with Bai Xiaoruo. He chose to believe her rather than listen to anyone's gossip. Whether it was true or false, he wanted to hear her say it to him personally.
"Brother Ziqian... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have kept it from you for so long, but I really can't easily tell anyone about my true relationship with him..."
Even though she didn't say it explicitly, Ji Ziqian understood.
So it was true.
She really did get married, and at the tender age of 18.
What puzzled Ji Ziqian was why Bai Xiaoruo had suddenly gotten married. The man had only recently appeared, so they probably hadn't been married long. How did she even know him? And she was so young to be married; did the Bai family even approve? What did they take Bai Xiaoruo for? A bargaining chip, a tool for making money?
"Xiao Ruo, is there something troubling you? Is marrying him really something you wanted to do?"
"I..." Bai Xiaoruo was speechless for a moment.
How should she answer?
Yes, she wasn't willing to be forced into marrying Xian Mingyu by her father and stepmother. But gradually, when she learned that he was the one who saved Xiao Ya Ran on her birthday night in Landi, and that he helped her time and time again, she unwittingly fell for him.
Even though I know that falling in love with him is wishful thinking, a pipe dream, and that it won't end well, I still can't help but like him.
Even though their time together was always short, and he rarely went home to spend time with her; even though he would often fly into a rage at her, wrongly accuse her, misunderstand her, and say many hurtful things; even though he ruthlessly took her virginity and brought back a group of different women to humiliate her...
But whenever he does even the slightest bit of kindness towards her, Bai Xiaoruo feels as if she has received a piece of shining gold, and she is even moved to tears, forgiving all the bad things he did to her before.
Call her naive or laughable, Bai Xiaoruo truly admits defeat in front of Xian Mingyu.
“Brother Ziqian, I have no excuse. I married him willingly.”
"Xiao Ruo, knowing you as I do, how could I possibly believe what you're saying? You still have so many dreams you want to fulfill, how could you get married at a time like this?"
Bai Xiaoruo shook her head repeatedly, not knowing how to explain to Ji Ziqian. "Brother Ziqian, please don't ask anymore... Someone like me isn't worth... really not worth your affection... That's why I've always rejected you... A terrible girl like me is no longer worthy of such a wonderful brother like you." Bai Xiaoruo choked back tears, her eyes welling up with them. She had so much helplessness, but she couldn't tell anyone.
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