At first, I sent a letter once a week for half a year, and then it became once a month.
The first few times the postman came to deliver the packages, she happened to see them and claimed them. Later, she told the postman that there was no need to deliver the packages anymore, and she would pick them up herself at the end of each month.
She was afraid that if she was not at home one day, Shen Qingli or her parents would receive the letter. She did not dare to reply because Ye Mingchuan recognized Shen Qingli's handwriting.
Ye Mingchuan taught Shen Qingli every stroke of the pen and every vertical line personally. Her enlightenment teacher was Ye Mingchuan, who was a few years older than them.
She simply didn't reply, with the malicious thought of letting the misunderstanding that they had no contact continue, so that Shen Qingli would think that he had left and had no news.
Ye Mingchuan thought that she had no feelings for him and didn't even reply to her letters.
After a long time, Shen Jiayao even deceived herself by telling herself that those letters were sent to her by Ye Mingchuan, and she almost believed it herself.
She has kept all forty-two letters to this day.
Until that day when she saw him on the street corner, her heart, which had been silent for many years, came back to life. He was back!
She was filled with joy and imagined the scene of meeting him, but she did not expect to hear the news that he was already married and had children.
That's right, if Ye Mingchuan was not married, she would force him to divorce his wife and be with her even if she had to use dirty means. But he was married and had two children. How could she be so confident that she could let Ye Mingchuan abandon his family and be with her?
She is not free either.
She likes Zheng Chuan only because Zheng Chuan is Shen Qingli's childhood sweetheart, and she wants to seize everything from Shen Qingli, that's all.
She liked the best-performing male student in the class simply because he would come to Shen Qingli after class and discuss questions with her.
She liked the village chief's son simply because he was well-educated and had a good appearance, and she wanted to use him to get out of the mountains.
She liked Meng Hao simply because Meng Hao was the second-generation rich man in the local area at that time. She liked his family background and his unruly and bad-tempered nature. She liked when others respectfully called her "sister-in-law" when they went out to play together.
But only Ye Mingchuan, she is the white moonlight that puts him aside. She is like a peeping tortoise, secretly looking up at him, and even her liking can only be done secretly.
He is the moon hanging high in her heart, and she herself is a tiny and inconspicuous speck of dust on the ground.
When the Ye family fell, she was secretly happy, naively thinking that she would be worthy of him and he would look at her.
But the boy's cold eyes never stayed on her for a moment. He only knew that Shen Qingli fought with boys for him, but who knew that she, Shen Jiayao, was surrounded and kicked on the ground by a group of children just because she defended him.
That’s all. “Life has many forks in the road, you go to Xiaoxiang and I go to Qin.”
Missed is missed. She didn’t get him, and Shen Qingli didn’t get him either, right?
(“Life has many crossroads” is quoted from “Qin Shi Yue” in Wu Jingzi’s “The Scholars”
"You go to Xiaoxiang and I go to Qin" is from Zheng Gu's "Farewell to a Friend on the Huai River"
I like this collection of poems.)
She returned to the gate of the family compound in a daze. Looking at Meng Hao who was sitting at the gate basking in the sun, Shen Jiayao slowly exhaled.
What hope is there after marrying a man like this?
"Didn't you go to get the cardboard boxes for your work? Where are the things?" Meng Hao looked at her with a frown.
"I didn't receive it. I don't want to paste the paper boxes anymore." She said lightly and walked into the house without stopping.
Meng Hao stood up and followed her into the house. "You don't want to make paper boxes anymore? Where are we going to get the money? You want to eat free meals at home? Mom will beat you to death!"
Shen Jiayao paused and turned to look him in the eye: "I'm your wife. Are you happy that your mother bullies me?"
"That's not what I meant." Meng Hao rubbed his nose, confused as to why she was so angry today. The question left him speechless for a moment.
"Let's move out and rent a house. I can translate articles for newspapers and bookstores to earn some money. My monthly salary will definitely be no less than your father's."
She felt that this giant baby, after leaving his parents, might take on the responsibilities of the family and grow up.
Meng Hao frowned. "Translating what? Do you have the skills? I think you should just stick to pasting paper boxes instead of messing around with that."
Shen Jiayao felt a surge of grief and powerlessness, and she suddenly yelled at him:
"Am I destined to be a cardboard box maker for the rest of my life? Why can't I do it? I'm the daughter of the Shen family, how come I don't have the ability to translate? How am I any worse than others?"
That's right! Even if she's an adopted daughter, she's still the daughter raised by the Shen family! How could she have ended up like this?
As she spoke, tears began to fall:
"Meng Hao, I followed you at such a young age, and you're going to let me make paper boxes to support you for the rest of your life? Can't a grown man like you take on some responsibility? Are you going to just sit at home and eat for free for the rest of your life? Huh?"
Meng Hao became a little impatient with her crying and yelling.
"Why are you crying? If you don't want to paste the paper box, then don't do it. And you still dare to yell at me? I'll beat you to death, believe it or not."
"Hit me! Hit me! You'd better kill me! And the child too! Killing me will free me!"
"I don't have to suffer in this house and be bullied by your whole family! Even if you don't hit me, I will look down on you! I beg you to beat me to death!"
Shen Jiayao walked up to him with her neck stiffened, which made Meng Hao a little at a loss. Looking at her tearful eyes filled with grief, anger and despair, he raised his hand but couldn't put it down.
"You don't want to fight, right?" Shen Jiayao sneered. She didn't know where she got the courage from, but as if she had received a great shock, she turned around and suddenly rushed into the kitchen, picked up a kitchen knife and slashed her wrist.
There was no hesitation at all, and she didn't give Meng Hao any chance to react. She really didn't want to live at this moment.
Meng Hao stood there in a daze with his pupils dilated. He rushed forward and snatched the knife from her hand, but unfortunately his wrist was already cut and bleeding.
"What are you doing!" he yelled at her while pressing her wound.
Shen Jiayao struggled violently, but her strength was rapidly draining away, and she collapsed in Meng Hao's arms.
"Meng Hao, I'm so exhausted being married to you. Please give me another stab. I'm so exhausted, really."
The wound that his subordinate was holding tightly was bleeding through Meng Hao's fingers. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't cover it up. Meng Hao was also panicked at this moment.
"I'll take you to the hospital."
His voice was a little trembling, after all, he had some sincerity in his heart. He was trembling and felt a little weak. He gritted his teeth, picked up Shen Jiayao and walked out.
"Meng Hao, let's get a divorce." He paused and walked out quickly again.
"Please let me go." Her voice became weaker and weaker, and as more and more blood flowed, her body temperature gradually dropped.
Meng Hao was so focused on walking forward that he didn't notice her face growing paler. He gritted his teeth:
"Don't even think about it, Shen Jiayao. You hooked up with me first, why should I let you go?"
Damn, why is the road to the hospital so far today!
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