Chapter 27: Staying
Downstairs, Ling Shen's knuckles turned white as he gripped the towel, and the cotton cloth made a subtle scraping sound as it wiped back and forth across the wooden floor. He looked up every few seconds to check on the bookshelf, his water-stained eyelashes casting fan-shaped shadows under his eyes.
When he confirmed that only the corners of the three bookshelves on the bottom floor were wet, his tense shoulders relaxed, and the back of his water-stained shirt revealed a faint outline.
Ling Shen breathed a sigh of relief. Thinking that he would soon be in the same room with Su Nian, his heart started beating faster for some reason.
Su Nian, who had gone upstairs, also calmed down at this moment. Leaning against the door panel, he thought about Ling Shen's every move just now, the bath towel with the scent of cedar covering his body, and the figure that subconsciously blocked his back. Su Nian raised his hand and gently covered his chest, and a bitter smile slowly appeared on his face.
Su Nian, are you really moved? Shouldn't he be a shadow? Are you looking at Chen Ran or him? Do you still remember what you thought at first? The voice in her head kept questioning Su Nian, but another voice also reminded her at the same time, Su Nian, you should let it go, you should have your own life, Chen Ran wants you to be happy.
The two voices kept clashing in Su Nian's mind, making him unable to help but squat down with his hands around his head.
Until Ling Shen, who had been waiting downstairs for a long time, went upstairs and knocked on Su Nian's door, "Su Nian, are you ready?" The voice came through the door, with a hint of subtle concern.
Su Nian staggered to her feet, trying her best to make her voice sound normal, "It's almost done, I'll be right there."
Shaking his head to get rid of the two conflicting voices in his mind, Su Nian hurriedly packed a few clothes and opened the door.
"Let's go, I'm packed." Su Nian's expression was no different from usual, but Ling Shen was sensitive enough to notice that there seemed to be deep fatigue between Su Nian's eyebrows.
But he said nothing, just took the suitcase in silence, and her fingertips accidentally brushed against his cold fingertips.
Su Nian hung a wooden sign at the door indicating that the bookstore was temporarily closed. He looked at the bookstore with some reluctance. The copper bell swayed gently in the wind, making a clear and pleasant sound.
"Don't worry, it will be fixed soon." Ling Shen's voice was low and firm, like a promise, and like a comfort.
Su Nian stared at his blurry reflection in the glass door, then finally withdrew his gaze and slid into the passenger seat. Amid the roar of the engine, the bookstore in the rearview mirror gradually shrank to a black dot, and the distance between him and the past quietly widened with the turning of the wheels.
The carriage was filled with the faint scent of cedar, a scent identical to Ling Shen's. Su Nian tilted her head to gaze out the window at the passing street scene. The outline of the bookstore gradually shrank into a blurry black dot, and a strange sense of emptiness welled up in her heart.
"Do you want to play some music?" Ling Shen's voice broke the silence, and he turned his head to look at the silent Su Nian.
Su Nian shook her head, her fingertips unconsciously entwining the buttons of her coat, "No, this is fine."
The car fell silent again. Ling Shen silently turned up the temperature of the air conditioner. Only the rustling sound of the tires rubbing against the ground and the deliberately light breathing of the two people intertwined in the air.
The scent of cedar continued to permeate the air, mixed with a hint of water vapor. For some reason, this cool smell made Su Nian feel inexplicably at ease.
But just as this thought came to mind, a sharp question suddenly rang in my mind - Su Nian, what are you doing? Are you really moved by him?
He suddenly closed his eyes and pinched his palms hard, trying to use the pain to dispel these chaotic thoughts.
Ever since Chen Ran left, he had been like a homeless soul, stubbornly guarding the bookstore and the memories between them. He had never thought that one day, someone would re-enter his world.
Su Nian almost forgot the original meaning of Ling Shen's existence: his daily companionship, the hot New Year's Eve dinner, the kiss of compassion. Everything about him made Su Nian's dead heart begin to bloom again.
But Chen Ran was like a mountain, standing between reality and memories, making Su Nian reluctant to let go.
"We're almost there." Ling Shen's voice brought Su Nian back to reality from her chaotic thoughts. Su Nian opened her eyes and saw the car had already entered a quiet neighborhood and stopped at the foot of an apartment building.
Su Nian pushed open the car door and looked up at the apartment in front of her. Ling Shen also took out a suitcase and a box from the trunk.
"Let's go, the apartment is on the 10th floor." Ling Shen walked in front dragging the suitcase, his pace neither fast nor slow, as if he was deliberately waiting for him.
The moment I opened the door, a fresh cedar scent hit me, a bit stronger than in the car, but not overwhelming. The house was in a simple Nordic style, clean and tidy. There were a few pots of green plants on the balcony, adding a bit of vitality to the room.
Su Nian thought that someone like Ling Shen would have a room in all black, white and gray, but she didn't expect that this house looked so unique.
"Drink some hot water first. I don't usually cook, and there are no vegetables at home. I ordered takeout, and it will be here soon." Ling Shen handed a cup of hot water to Su Nian who was still looking around the room.
Su Nian was holding the cup, but her eyes were involuntarily attracted by a photo frame on the bookshelf: it was a snow-capped mountain, the top of the mountain was covered with white snow, and at the foot of the mountain was a lush forest. Just like the aura of Ling Shen, it had a cool and vast feeling.
Ling Shen followed Su Nian's gaze, a smile in his eyes, "That was taken when I was an adult in the Alps. The cedar forest there is beautiful."
Su Nian turned her head and stared at Ling Shen, her eyes filled with inquiry: "I thought you preferred the hustle and bustle, but I didn't expect..."
Ling Shen's lips curled up into a bitter arc, and he chuckled self-deprecatingly: "Yeah, even I thought so..." Before he finished speaking, he turned and walked towards the guest room, his voice a little hurried, "I'll go clean up the room, you sit down first."
Su Nian held the warm cup of water, her fingertips feeling the warmth from the porcelain walls. The living room was so quiet that she could hear the faintest breathing. The occasional rustle of Ling Shen tidying up things in the guest room intertwined with the scattered birdsong outside the window.
At some point, tiny snowflakes began to drift outside the window again. As the glittering snowflakes fell, Su Nian gazed at the hazy snowy scene, her turbulent thoughts gradually being soothed by a tranquil and subtle emotion.
The memories of the past that had been lingering in his mind suddenly became blurry. He quietly asked himself: Is it possible to finally let go? Can those memories really be buried forever?
By the time Ling Shen had packed up and walked out of the guest room, Su Nian had already prepared the food for delivery and was busy in the kitchen.
The sound of the spatula stirring, the crisp sound of porcelain bowls colliding, mixed with the tempting aroma of food, injected vitality into this originally cold house.
Ling Shen stood there, watching the busy figures in the kitchen. For the first time, he felt that this place, which was just a place to stay, had the warmth of home. This private space, which even Jiang Yi had never set foot in, was now completely open to Su Nian.
"Come here quickly, there's only one dish left!" Su Nian looked up and waved towards Ling Shen, who was standing in a daze in the living room. The warm yellow light poured down on his face, outlining his soft features. Ling Shen unconsciously raised the corners of his lips and walked briskly towards the kitchen.
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