Chapter 40 Regret
Chang Zi scratched his head and walked out of the bookstore. The chirping of August cicadas wrapped in the heat wave hit his face. He looked up at the faded wooden sign.
He couldn't understand how he could buy Ling Shen's head just because he bought a store.
"Mr. Chang, we..." The leading worker's hands, which were gripping the safety helmet, were sweating slightly. His Adam's apple rolled as he took half a step forward. The patches on the knees of his overalls were particularly glaring in the sun. "Why are we still doing this job?" He pointed his rough fingers at the bookstore. His knuckles were slightly white due to the force, and cement dust had formed scabs between his nails.
Chang Zi tugged at his tie impatiently, the crocodile belt buckle rubbing against his stomach. He glanced behind the workers at the three-wheeled motorcycle loaded with demolition tools. The pickaxe heads gleamed coldly from beneath the tarpaulin, and he suddenly felt the absurdity of the scene was palpable.
"Do? Bullshit!" He kicked the stone at his feet, the metal heel of his leather shoe scraping against the bluestone slabs with a harsh sound. "Alright, you guys can leave now. I'll pay you."
The workers, as if granted amnesty, smiled with relief from their grimy faces. Some thanked them profusely, while others bowed, the sunburn on the back of their necks barely visible through their collars. In a flash, they rode away on their motorcycles, leaving a trail of dust.
Chang Zi pulled out a gold-plated lighter and lit a cigarette. The flame flickered between his trembling fingertips, and the ash landed on his custom-made Italian leather shoes, leaving tiny scorch marks. "What bad luck! Why did this evil spirit choose to take a fancy to this place?" His smoke rings hit the bookstore window, twisting into strange shapes.
"Xiao Sun, go check who is selling this book. Also, why is Ling Shen here?" Chang Zi waved to his assistant, gave a few instructions, then turned and left the bookstore.
When Yu Tao and Yuan Wenzhong learned about this, they pointed at Chang Zi, who was smoking with a depressed look on his face, and laughed until they were out of breath.
Chang Zi took a gulp of his wine and looked at his two friends next to him with a depressed look on his face. "How would I know? That place is the bookstore opened by Su Nian. Besides, he didn't tell me not to smash it."
Yu Tao and Yuan Wenzhong had laughed enough, but suddenly remembered something, "Do you think Su Nian heard what we said that day?"
Yuan Wenzhong touched his chin when he heard this. "But, just because of those words, Su Nian left without saying goodbye. Isn't it a bit..."
Chang Zi looked at the two people talking, feeling a little confused. "What are you two talking about? What? Why leave without saying goodbye?" Seeing that the two ignored him, Chang Zi didn't care and just talked to himself.
"By the way, I heard that Jiang Yi returned to China and met with Ling Shen. However, it seems that the two of them had a very unpleasant argument..." Before he could finish his words, Yu Tao and Yuan Wenzhong suddenly turned their heads to look at Chang Zi on the sofa, startling Chang Zi. "You...what are you doing?"
Yuan Wenzhong approached Chang Zi anxiously, "Which day? When? How did you know?"
"That day, I heard it from the bartender." Chang Zi spread his hands, "He also said that Ling Shen didn't care about Jiang Yi, and that Jiang Yi drank a lot of alcohol."
Yu Tao and Yuan Wenzhong exchanged a glance and both smiled wryly. It seemed they had found the root of the problem. If Su Nian had simply overheard their conversation, she wouldn't have left without saying goodbye. But if Jiang Yi reappeared at this critical juncture, Su Nian's departure would have been completely predictable.
After sending Chang Zi away, Ling Shen returned to bed. His knuckles turned white from exerting too much force as he mechanically slid them across the screen of his mobile phone, like a drowning man grasping in vain for a life-saving straw.
He flipped through the photos in the album over and over again, and every time he saw an irrelevant picture, his heart was cut like a blunt knife.
Finally, that familiar yet unfamiliar figure appeared on the screen - Su Nian, wearing a light gray apron, was concentrating on operating the coffee machine, her hair slightly curled by the heat, but she didn't know that she had already become a treasure in other people's cameras.
Ling Shen pressed his phone to his chest, his breathing rapid and disordered. He suddenly realized how little he knew about Su Nian.
I don't know what kind of coffee Su Nian likes, when his birthday is, or even where his home is. The only memories left between them, apart from that cold contract, are the few moments they spent together.
If even the bookstore, the initial intersection, disappeared, Su Nian would be like a drop of water falling into the sea, completely evaporating from his world.
Ling Shen began to regret why he had gone to see Jiang Yi, why he had to hurt Su Nian over and over again for an outsider. He tore the contract into pieces. The glaring numbers on the bank card were the monthly payments he had made to Su Nian, and Su Nian hadn't touched a cent. He even paid the penalty for breach of contract in full.
It was his fault. He shouldn't have signed this so-called contract with Su Nian. He shouldn't have been so stubborn even after confirming his feelings. He should have made it clear to Su Nian earlier, should have tied him to his side, even if it meant using the most despicable means.
The wind gently blew the curtains, and the moonlight softly sprinkled on the ground. Ling Shen curled up in bed, unwilling to open his eyes.
Half asleep and half awake, he returned to that snowy night. In front of the French windows on the second floor of the bookstore, fireworks bloomed in the night sky, casting a particularly gentle shadow on Su Nian's profile. Su Nian leaned on his shoulder. Neither of them spoke, yet it felt as if they owned the entire world.
"Sir, it's very late." The housekeeper walked quietly to the balcony and looked at Su Nian standing there with a glass of wine, feeling a little reluctant.
Su Nian leaned on the railing and asked, "Tell me, can a person really fall in love with many people in his life?"
The butler stood in front of the French window, his skinny fingers unconsciously stroking the brass window handle, the verdigris glowing coldly in the moonlight.
The housekeeper looked at Su Nian, and memories of the past forty years flooded back. The image of the child giggling in his cradle, clutching his pinky finger, the clear voice of a seven-year-old when he stood on tiptoe to pin a birthday card on him, and the stubborn look in his eyes when he bit his lip to keep from crying at his parents' funeral at fifteen. All of these flashed before his eyes.
In the end, even Chen Ran, who had always been with him, passed away due to illness. He chose to escape and then came back again, returning to this huge manor.
"A Nian, life has been a constant farewell since the beginning. Time treats everyone equally. We will meet countless people, whether they are right or wrong. This is all our experience." The butler stepped forward and took the wine glass from Su Nian's hand. "Perhaps, now you have truly tasted the bitterness of love."
Su Nian said nothing, simply staring blankly at the moonlight on the lake, as if she could see Ling Shen's shadow in the shimmering water. In the distance came the sound of fireworks exploding, their fleeting brilliance, like their brief yet passionate encounter.
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