Chapter 8 Christmas Eve
The lights in the bar were like shattered stars, spreading patches of ambiguous yellow in the air. Ling Shen sank into the velvet sofa, as if to merge with the shadows.
The coffee table in front of him had already been occupied by various wine bottles. The amber color of whiskey, the transparent color of vodka, and the foam residue of beer intertwined to create a messy light and shadow under the light.
But he seemed to have lost all his sensory nerves. The glass between his fingers tilted mechanically, and the cold liquid slid down his throat, burning a tiny hole in his stomach.
The resident band in the corner was plucking the strings, and lazy jazz mixed with the melody of Christmas carols came over, and the singing of "Silent Night" was wrapped in the smell of tobacco and alcohol.
The three-meter-high Christmas tree at the door was decorated with colorful lights. Red and green spots of light danced among the pine needles. Occasionally, glass balls reflected tiny spots of light, which fell into Ling Shen's blurred pupils but failed to stir up any ripples.
"Welcome." The waiter opened the glass door with a standard smile, and the cold wind brought in fine snow foam. Before he finished speaking, Su Nian's gaze had passed over the crowd and landed accurately on the figure curled up on the sofa.
His navy blue coat was still covered in snow, and the scarf around his collar was a little messy due to the wind.
"Thank you, I'll look for someone." Su Nian nodded to the waiter and walked through the noisy crowd, his leather shoes making almost no sound on the carpet.
The laughter and clinking of glasses around him seemed to be isolated by an invisible barrier. All he could see was the man who even seemed to have difficulty raising his head.
"So slow." Ling Shen's eyelashes trembled, and he saw someone sitting down next to him in a daze. The alcohol had long blurred his vision and thinking, but his body's instinct told him that this was the person he had been waiting for all night.
His voice was hoarse, as if it had been sandpapered, and carried a strong scent of alcohol. Su Nian said nothing, simply reaching out and gently pulling the wine glass from Ling Shen's fingers. The condensation on the glass's walls wet his fingertips, and the cold touch made him frown slightly.
Before Ling Shen could react, he saw Su Nian raise his head and drink up the remaining wine at the bottom of the glass. The curve of his Adam's apple was clearly visible.
"You dare to steal my wine? Haha..." Ling Shen tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids were as heavy as glue. He tried hard to focus, but his vision was always only a blurry warm yellow and the corner of the navy blue clothes close at hand.
There was a faint fragrance lingering at the tip of my nose. It was the cedar-scented perfume that Su Nian often used. Mixed with the crisp air after the snow, it was unexpectedly soothing.
Su Nian picked up another bottle of wine on the table and poured himself a full glass. He drank one glass after another, not quickly but with great persistence.
The bitter taste of alcohol spread on the tip of his tongue, but he could clearly feel the pain emanating from the people around him. The loneliness of being abandoned by the whole world and left alone was like a vine that entangled Ling Shen and him.
They are so similar, both struggling in their own worlds and licking their wounds in the middle of the night.
"We are the same." Su Nian's voice was so soft that it was almost drowned out by the music. He drank the last sip of wine and gently placed the empty glass on the table, making a crisp clinking sound.
Then he leaned over and carefully helped Ling Shen, who had almost collapsed on the sofa, to his feet. Ling Shen was completely drunk at this point, his head leaning weakly on Su Nian's shoulder, mumbling incoherent words. His warm breath sprayed on his neck, carrying a strong smell of alcohol, but strangely not offensive.
His entire weight pressed down on her, forcing Su Nian to tighten her arms and hold him steady. Carefully, Su Nian carried Ling Shen and walked out. The glass door opened again, and a cold wind rushed in, carrying snow particles that hit her face, stinging her slightly.
It was a deep winter night and everything was silent. The snowflakes had started to fall harder and harder, floating down from the dark blue sky like countless tiny stars falling to the earth.
The two leaned on each other as they walked forward in the snow, the snow beneath their feet making a soft "crunching" sound. Snowflakes landed on their hair and shoulders, quickly turning their hair and eyelashes white.
Su Nian raised her head, feeling the coolness of the snowflakes melting instantly on her face, and turned her head to look at Ling Shen who was leaning against her.
There were tiny snowflakes on Ling Shen's eyelashes, his cheeks were flushed with alcohol, and his jawline, which was usually tense, was now much softer.
Su Nian raised her head, feeling the snowflakes falling on her face, and turned her head to look at Ling Shen beside her. The necklace around her neck pressed against her heart, and he suddenly laughed out loud, "Look, we are also gray-haired."
Ling sank deeply into the soft bedding. The brocade quilt rose and fell gently with his breathing, but it couldn't smooth out the furrows between his brows. The down pillow fluffed like a cloud, but it couldn't hold the weight of his thoughts. Every time he turned over, he could feel the fine wrinkles in the mattress, just like the turmoil in his mind.
The world in the dream was dyed colorful by the overturned palette. Jiang Yi's smiling face and Su Nian's gentle and smiling eyes kept overlapping and alternating in the light and shadow.
Sometimes it was the cheerfulness of Jiang Yi holding up a glass and calling him to drink, and the next second it turned into the slight coolness of Su Nian's fingertips when he handed him warm water. In the flow of light and shadow, he was like a traveler lost in a maze, unable to tell what was the real desire in his heart.
The crisp knock on the door was like a stone thrown into a calm lake, instantly pulling Ling Shen back to reality from his bizarre dream.
The moment he regained consciousness, the headache from the hangover came like a tide, his temples were throbbing, and every beat caused a dull pain in his nerves.
Su Nian walked in with honey water and a bowl of light noodles. Ling Shen held up his dizzy head and struggled to sit up. The quilt slipped from his shoulders, revealing the faint redness on his neck due to the hangover.
"You've drunk a lot of wine. Eat something first." Su Nian put the tray on the table beside the bed and handed the honey water to Ling Shen. "Here, honey water."
Only then did Ling Shen feel as if his throat had been rubbed by sandpaper. The extreme dryness and burning pain left him without the strength to even speak.
His fingers trembled slightly as he took the cup, the warm touch spreading from his fingertips to the depths of his heart. He couldn't wait to drink it up, and the sweet warmth flowed down his throat, instantly easing the dryness that was almost smoking, and even his breathing became smoother.
"You..." Ling Shen stroked the outer wall of the glass, which was still warm, and felt the delicate lines on the wall with his fingertips. His eyes fell on Su Nian's calm face. The apology that surged in his heart made him speechless for a moment. He didn't know how to explain the absurdity of last night.
"You've drunk too much." Su Nian seemed to see through his embarrassment, and her tone was no different from usual, "Don't worry, this is the guest bedroom, no one has slept in it, you can sleep a little longer, I'll go get busy first." Su Nian nodded at Ling Shen, turned around and left the room.
Su Nian's calmness was like a fine net, leaving Ling Shen feeling somewhat at a loss. He leaned against the headboard, his eyes following the departing figure until the door gently closed.
The past with Jiang Yi involuntarily emerged in her mind. This day every year was a time they would always reserve. They would always find a noisy bar, drink and sing to the deafening music until the sky turned pale.
But every time, Jiang Yi was the first one to get drunk, and he would always take Jiang Yi home without complaint, and then drag his tired body to wash and tidy up, and then force himself to continue the day's work.
After Jiang Yi woke up, he never asked whether he slept well as he also drank a lot of alcohol. Instead, he just excitedly arranged the time for the next drink with shining eyes, as if his efforts were taken for granted.
Those overlooked details emerge clearly at this moment, like tiny needles gently piercing the heart.
Sending a message to Su Nian last night was completely a spur-of-the-moment impulse after being drunk. When he pressed the send button in a drunken state, he didn't even know what he was looking for.
What surprised him even more was that he had passed out drunk before Su Nian arrived, and he had no memory of how he was taken back to the bookstore's guest room. This unknown feeling made him feel inexplicably panicked.
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