Back to reality
"Don't forget to brew some ginger tea, it'll be cold in the morning." The Empress Dowager's words had barely faded when the moonlight in the courtyard flickered, like a candle flame being blown by the wind. Consort Rong's previously translucent fingers suddenly warmed. She gently grasped my hand, her eyes no longer empty, but filled with a familiar tenderness and a hint of barely perceptible reluctance: "Ah Zhao, we both know, actually."
My heart skipped a beat, and I looked at Consort Rong—her dress no longer changed color, remaining steadily in pale blue, and the grass rabbit pattern on her embroidered handkerchief was clearly visible, no longer the blurry image it had been before. Ya Huan also stopped wrapping the bandages, her pigtails hanging obediently over her shoulders. She looked up, her eyes full of seriousness: "Sister A Zhao, we're not real, this is your dream."
Consort Su's hand holding the porridge bowl no longer wavered. She walked up to me, gently placed the bowl on the stone table, and said in a gentle yet firm tone, "I am not Consort Su from the Cold Palace, nor am I Aunt Su from your childhood. I am the 'warmth' you most want to keep in your heart, but warmth cannot only be hidden in dreams." Her figure became completely stable. She was still wearing that floral apron, but she had lost the previous ethereal feeling and gained a more real gentleness.
The Empress Dowager rose from the corridor, her steps no longer stiff. She walked to my side and gently patted my shoulder: "Child, we've been with you through so many days, watching you go from fear to dependence, watching you treat the Cold Palace as your home. We've been so happy. But home can't always be a dream; you still have reality to face." The grass rabbit in her hand had somehow transformed back into osmanthus cake, emitting a faint sweet fragrance, exactly the same taste as I remembered.
The Empress stood at the courtyard gate, her palace attire now a neat, bright yellow, her hairpins unchanged. Her face, devoid of its former critical nature, was now calm: "I know what you fear—the loneliness of reality, the pain of the battlefield. But you can't hide here forever. You are Lin Zhao, the special agent who perseveres to the end on the training field, not just 'Ah Zhao' who only hides in dreams." As she spoke, she took out not a brocade box from her sleeve, but a piece of fruit candy—exactly the same one Aunt Sun had given me as a child, the wrapper gleaming with a familiar sheen.
I looked at the people before me. They were no longer the numb, repetitive figures they had been before. Each of their eyes held genuine concern, but hidden within that concern was a "farewell" that made my heart race. "When...did you find out?" My voice trembled, my fingers gripping Consort Rong's hand tightly, as if afraid she would turn transparent again in the next second.
Consort Rong sighed softly, her fingertips tracing the bandage on my arm—the thick bandage had thinned out at some point, revealing the healed wound underneath, without even a scar. "From the first time you cried out 'Don't come any closer' in your dream," she said softly, "you dreamed of the battlefield, you dreamed of your teammates, and we knew you had been holding on."
Ya Huan tugged at my sleeve and whispered, "Sister A Zhao, last time you had a nightmare, you were calling out your teammates' names. I wanted to wake you up, but I could only repeat 'Let's pick peach blossoms together.' It wasn't that I didn't want to respond, it was that the dream wouldn't let me." Tears welled up in her eyes, but she stubbornly held them back. "But it's different now. We can talk now, we can persuade you now. You should go back."
Su Fei picked up the bowl of porridge on the table, scooped a spoonful and brought it to my lips. The porridge was at the perfect temperature, with the familiar sweet taste of millet, without the previous bitterness: "Your teammates in real life must also be waiting for you to come back. They are not just phantoms in your dreams, they really want to fight alongside you; your family in real life are also hoping for your safety, not the 'alone' you think you are."
The Empress Dowager looked at me, her eyes filled with relief and reluctance: "We accompanied you to weave grass worms, embroider handkerchiefs, brew tea and eat cakes, not so that you could stay in your dreams forever, but so that you could remember this warmth, carry this warmth back to reality, and live a good life. You should know that you deserve to be treated gently by reality, just as you deserve to be treated gently by us in your dreams."
The Empress walked up to me and stuffed a piece of fruit candy into my hand. The feel of the candy wrapper was so real that I wanted to cry: "I know you're reluctant to part with it, and we are too. But dreams always end, just like winter always passes and spring always comes. When you go back, if you miss us, think of the winter plum blossoms in the Cold Palace, think of the osmanthus cakes we ate together, think of the words we said to you. They were all real warmth, not fake."
Suddenly, the small peach tree in the yard appeared fully before my eyes, its branches bursting with vibrant blossoms, no longer following the previous cycle of "blooming and closing." Petals fell upon us, carrying a real, tangible touch. The beeping of the electrocardiogram monitor suddenly became clear, no longer the blurry background noise, but a reminder in my ear: reality is calling you.
I looked at the people before me; their figures were steady and real, their eyes filled with genuine concern and reluctance. I knew they were right; I couldn't keep hiding in my dreams, I couldn't keep escaping reality. But I truly couldn't bear to leave—couldn't bear to leave Consort Rong's gentle companionship, couldn't bear to leave Consort Su's sweet osmanthus cakes, couldn't bear to leave Ya Huan's innocent smile, couldn't bear to leave Consort Xian's gentle admonitions, couldn't bear to leave the Empress's awkward concern, couldn't bear to leave this cold palace that I had made my home.
“I…” I choked up, unable to speak, tears falling like beads from a broken string. “I’m afraid that after I go back, there will be no more of you, no more such warm days.”
Consort Rong gently wiped away my tears, her tone tender yet firm: "You won't. You will go back with the warmth we gave you, you will meet more warm-hearted people, and you will have a more real life. We will always be in your heart, and as long as you remember, we will never disappear."
Su Fei nodded and said with a smile, "That's right. When you go back, you can make osmanthus cake and brew winter plum tea yourself, turning the warmth in your dream into everyday life. Then you'll find that reality is more worth looking forward to than your dream."
Ya Huan grabbed my hand and shook it: "Sister A Zhao, you have to be brave, just like you protected us, protect yourself in reality. We'll be cheering you on from your heart!"
The Empress Dowager and the Empress nodded, their eyes full of encouragement. The peach blossoms in the courtyard began to fall slowly, not in the previous cycle, but in their natural withering, as if bidding me farewell. The beeping of the electrocardiogram monitor grew clearer, and the scene before me began to shake slightly, but this time, the shaking was no longer the chaos of collapse, but a harbinger of clarity.
I took a deep breath, wiped away my tears, looked at the people in front of me, and said earnestly, "Thank you, thank you for being with me all these days, thank you for letting me know that I deserve to be treated with warmth. I will go back, and I will face reality with the warmth you gave me."
Consort Rong smiled, her eyes full of relief: "This is the A-Zhao we know, no, the Lin Zhao we know."
Su Fei smiled and said, "Remember to eat well and don't hurt yourself again."
Ya Huan waved her hand: "Sister A Zhao, we're waiting for you in your heart, waiting for you to tell us the good news in reality!"
The Empress Dowager and the Empress smiled and nodded, saying nothing more, but conveying encouragement and reluctance with their eyes.
The scene before me began to blur slowly; the peach blossoms, the small peach tree, the stone table, and the figures of the people all faded away little by little. I clutched the fruit candy tightly in my hand, feeling the warmth that Consort Rong had given me in her last moments. Their words of advice echoed in my ears. My heart was filled with reluctance, but it also gave me a bit more courage to face reality.
I know I'm waking up, leaving this dream I can't bear to part with, leaving these people I cherish. But I'm no longer afraid, because I know the warmth they gave me will always be with me, in my heart, and will never disappear.
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