Immersed in a dream
When I woke up the next day, a light snow was falling outside the window. It wasn't heavy, but it covered the small peach tree in the corner of the yard with a thin layer of white, and the buds were hidden under the snow, with a faint hint of light green peeking out. I had just finished dressing when I heard Ya Huan calling me from outside the yard, her voice full of excitement: "Sister A Zhao! Come out and see, the snow on the winter plum blossoms is so beautiful!"
I pushed open the door and saw Ya Huan standing beside the wintersweet tree, reaching out to catch snowflakes. Consort Rong stood beside her, holding a white porcelain bottle and carefully sweeping snow into it. "Consort Rong said that wintersweet should be pickled with snow water, so that the resulting wintersweet jam will be sweeter," Ya Huan said with a smile as she ran over, pulling my hand and leading me towards the wintersweet tree. "Let's help too!"
When Consort Rong saw me approaching, she whispered, "Snow water is the cleanest; the pickled sauce made with it has no off-flavors. I... When I was little, my nanny used to do this at our ancestral home." Her fingertips were red from the cold, still carefully brushing the snow off the petals, her movements gentle, as if afraid of knocking them off. I took the porcelain bottle from her hand and said with a smile, "Let's do it together; we'll fill it up quickly."
Consort Su arrived later, carrying a food box filled with freshly brewed ginger tea. "It's cold outside, have a cup of ginger tea to warm yourself up," she said, handing us the ginger tea and taking a cup for herself. "Consort Li is moving back to her original palace tomorrow, so we need to help her pack today."
At the mention of packing, Ya Huan immediately perked up: "I'll go help Consort Li fold her clothes! She has so many beautiful dresses that she's never had a chance to wear before." Consort Rong also whispered, "I... I'll help her organize her embroidery. Her embroidered handkerchiefs are all in wooden boxes, so we can't mess them up."
We went together to Consort Li's courtyard. She was sitting at the table organizing letters. When she saw us come in, she smiled and said, "You've come at the right time. These letters are all old things from before. Some I want to take with me, and some I want to leave in the Cold Palace as a memento." I looked at the letters on the table. Most of them were her correspondence with her family before she entered the palace. The handwriting was beautiful, and the words were full of longing for the future.
Consort Rong picked up a stack of embroidered handkerchiefs and carefully placed them into the wooden box, gently smoothing out the wrinkles with each one. Ya Huan opened the wardrobe and took out Consort Li's clothes one by one, folding them neatly: "Consort Li, this pink dress is so beautiful. You must wear it for us after you take it back!" Consort Li smiled and nodded: "Okay, I'll wear it for you when the peach blossoms bloom in spring."
Consort Su sat to the side, helping to organize the herbs and incense pills, dividing the commonly used medicinal materials into small porcelain bottles and labeling them: "Take these back with you. Although the imperial physicians in the palace are good, they are not as convenient to use as these herbs." Consort Li took the porcelain bottles, her eyes full of gratitude: "Thank you, Consort Su, you are always so thoughtful."
During lunch, the Dowager Consort Xian brought up the matter of sending Consort Li off to her new residence the next day: "Tomorrow I'll have Zhang Mama prepare some snacks and wine, and we'll give Consort Li a proper send-off. Even though she's moving out, we're still family, and we'll visit each other often." Everyone nodded in agreement, and the atmosphere was so warm that one forgot they were in the deep, cold courtyard of the palace.
After the meal, I went to the Imperial Kitchen to get the snacks for tomorrow. As I passed the guards' quarters, I overheard two guards whispering: "Have you heard? Yesterday, a palace maid from Fengyi Palace was punished by the Empress to go to the laundry department for delivering needlework to the Cold Palace. She was accused of 'stealing things'." The other guard sighed: "That's not all. I also heard that the Minister of Revenue was impeached by the Empress's father for helping to overturn the case of Consort Hui's father. He was accused of 'forming cliques for personal gain.' Although the Emperor didn't punish him, he made him reflect on his actions in seclusion."
I gripped the handle of the food box tightly, my heart sinking. So the Empress had never given up on suppressing us; she had simply changed to a more covert method, targeting innocent palace maids and ministers. The cruelty of the inner palace was never in the open searches, but hidden in these silent punishments, making it impossible to guard against.
When I returned to the Cold Palace, I deliberately didn't mention what I had overheard in the guards' quarters, not wanting to spoil this rare moment of warmth. Ya Huan and Consort Rong were learning the pipa, with Consort Li sitting beside them giving instructions. Consort Rong's fingers were still quite clumsy, but she was very serious. Ya Huan, on the other hand, was learning rather impatiently, pressing her fingers on the strings and wincing in pain, which made everyone laugh.
When Consort Su saw me return, she came over and asked in a low voice, "You were gone for so long, did something happen?" I shook my head and handed her the food box. "Nothing, the imperial kitchen's pastries weren't ready yet, I waited a while." Consort Su looked at me with a knowing look in her eyes, but didn't press me further. She simply said, "Don't worry too much about the Empress, Consort Hui will handle it." I nodded, but I knew in my heart that the struggles in the harem were never something that could be resolved simply by "handling it well."
As evening fell, the snow stopped, and the setting sun shone through the clouds, casting a soft golden glow on the snow-covered ground. We sat under the eaves, eating plum blossom cakes made by Consort Su, and chatting about sending Consort Li off to her new residence the next day. Ya Huan said she would weave a large grass butterfly for Consort Li, Consort Rong said she would embroider a handkerchief with orchid grass as a keepsake, Consort Su prepared some calming incense pills, and the Dowager Consort Xian also took out a jade hairpin from her collection, saying it was a congratulatory gift for Consort Li.
Looking at everyone around me, my heart was filled with warmth, yet also tinged with worry. The beauty of this cold palace was like a winter plum blossom in the snow—resilient yet fragile, easily destroyed by the Empress's oppression. But I still didn't want to leave, even knowing this beauty might vanish at any moment; I wanted to hold onto this fleeting warmth.
At night, I lay in bed, clutching the peach blossom handkerchief Consort Rong had given me, the whispers of the guards echoing in my ears again. Moonlight streamed through the window onto the snow, its cold glow contrasting sharply with the warm yellow light of the Cold Palace. Suddenly, I felt that this Cold Palace was a safe haven; outside lay the cruel power struggles of the harem, inside lay the warmth of our mutual protection. As long as I could stay in this haven, even if only temporarily, I was willing.
I closed my eyes, and the scene of sending Consort Li off to her new residence tomorrow floated into my mind. She was wearing a beautiful dress, and we smiled as we saw her off, promising to meet again when spring arrived. The scene was so beautiful that I temporarily forgot the cruelty of the harem, forgot all the injustices, and only wished to immerse myself in this warm dream, unwilling to wake up.
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