So what if it's a dream?
As dawn approached, I drifted off to sleep. In my dream, there were no ruins, no jarring "beep beep" sounds, only the warm yellow light of the Cold Palace. The Consort Xian sat on the veranda, shelling melon seeds; Consort Su brewed tea beside her; Consort Rong and Ya Huan chatted and laughed around the embroidery frame; and Consort Li held a pipa, her fingertips flowing with gentle melodies. The dream was so beautiful that when I woke, my first instinct was to touch the peach blossom handkerchief beside me—it was still there, faintly fragrant, within reach.
It was already bright outside the window. The little peach tree in the corner of the courtyard was a pale green in the morning light, its buds still looking the same as yesterday. But suddenly, I felt that this was good enough. What did the irrationality matter? What did the emptiness matter? As long as I could stay in this cold palace and live with these people, even if it was just a dream, I was willing to sink into it.
As I got up to open the door, I saw Ya Huan returning from outside with a bamboo basket filled with freshly picked winter plum blossoms, their petals still glistening with morning dew. "Sister A Zhao, you're awake!" she exclaimed, running over with a smile and handing me the basket. "I just picked these winter plum blossoms from the corner of the courtyard. Consort Su said she'd be making winter plum blossom tea, so she asked me to pick more." I took the basket, the delicate fragrance of the winter plum blossoms filling my nostrils. The scent was so real it brought me peace. I subconsciously ignored my initial wonder—"Why haven't the winter plum blossoms decreased after all this time?"—and smiled, saying, "They smell wonderful! Let's go take them to Consort Su."
In Consort Su's courtyard, she sat at a stone table pounding medicine. The wooden mallet struck the stone mortar with a steady, rhythmic "tap-tap." Seeing us enter, she stopped what she was doing and smiled, saying, "You've picked the winter plum blossoms? Quickly put them on the table, I'll make some tea." Ya Huan placed the winter plum blossoms on the table and leaned closer to the mortar to look. "Consort Su, what medicine are you pounding?" "It's for Consort Rong's maid," Consort Su said, picking up a piece of herb and sniffing it lightly. "She's always easily stressed, so I'm making her some calming sachets."
I sat to the side, watching Consort Su skillfully brew tea and grind medicine, and suddenly felt that this kind of life was truly wonderful. Her movements were fluid and natural, the aroma of herbs mingling with the delicate fragrance of winter plum blossoms, without a trace of artificiality. I recalled my doubts from last night, but a thought arose in my mind: "Whether it's a dream or not, cherish the present moment."
Consort Rong arrived later, carrying a handkerchief embroidered with orchids—a design for Consort Li. Seeing us, she smiled faintly, much more cheerful than before: "I...I finished embroidering it and wanted to give it to Consort Li." Consort Su poured her a cup of freshly brewed plum blossom tea: "Have some tea to warm yourself up first. Consort Li should be practicing her pipa in her courtyard." Consort Rong took the teacup, sipped it slowly, and whispered, "Consort Li plays the pipa so well...I...I want to learn from her."
We went together to Consort Li's courtyard, where she was indeed practicing the pipa. The melody was smoother than before, and she played the second half of "Spring River Flower Moon Night" with ease. Hearing us enter, she stopped her fingertips and smiled, saying, "You've come. Please sit down." Consort Rong handed her a handkerchief made of orchid grass, saying, "Consort Li, I... I embroidered this. Please don't find it offensive." Consort Li took the handkerchief, her eyes filled with surprise, "It's so well embroidered, even more exquisite than the embroiderers in the palace. Do you want to learn the pipa from me?" Consort Rong nodded, her eyes full of anticipation, "Yes, I... I want to learn."
Consort Li handed her the pipa and patiently taught her how to press and pluck the strings. Consort Rong was very skillful and soon learned to play simple melodies. Ya Huan sat to the side, humming a tune along with the melody, while Consort Su poured tea for us. Consort Xian also arrived at some point and sat under the eaves, watching us with a gratified smile on her lips.
At noon, we made plum blossom cakes together. Consort Li was in charge of kneading the dough, Consort Su helped prepare the filling, Consort Rong learned how to wrap the filling inside the dough, and Ya Huan and I were responsible for putting the cakes into the steamer. The courtyard was filled with the fragrance of plum blossoms and the sweet aroma of glutinous rice, and laughter filled the air. The Dowager Consort Xian sat to the side, telling us about her interesting experiences in the palace when she was young, saying, "Plum blossom cakes were often made in the palace before, but the cakes back then didn't smell as good as they do now."
In the afternoon, Consort Hui sent word that the Emperor had issued an edict to exonerate her father and restore Consort Li's rank, allowing her to move back to her original palace in three days. Everyone was overjoyed upon hearing this news. Consort Li's eyes welled with tears as she clutched the letter Consort Hui had sent, whispering, "Finally... finally this day has come." Consort Rong took her hand, smiling, and said, "Consort Li, congratulations. Will we be able to see each other often in the future?" Consort Li nodded, gripping her hand tightly, "Of course, I will come to see you often."
Looking at everyone around me, I felt a pang of reluctance, yet also happiness for Consort Li. Life in the Cold Palace, though austere, was filled with the most genuine affection. I recalled my doubts from last night and suddenly realized that regardless of whether it was a dream or not, these feelings were real. The gentleness of the Dowager Consort, the composure of Consort Su, the steadfastness of Consort Li, the shyness and growth of Consort Rong, the liveliness of Ya Huan, the stubbornness but soft heart of Consort Hui… all of these are deeply etched in my heart, becoming the most precious memories of my life.
As evening fell, the setting sun painted the sky orange-red, bathing everyone in a warm glow. We sat under the small peach tree in the corner of the courtyard, chatting and eating the leftover plum blossom cakes. Ya Huan said, "Once Consort Li moves out, we'll go to her palace to see her. We can make desserts together and learn to play the pipa." Consort Rong nodded, "Okay, I... I'll embroider even more beautiful handkerchiefs for her." Consort Su smiled and said, "I'll also make her some calming incense pills so she can sleep peacefully in the palace." Consort Xian added, "When the weather gets warmer, we'll hold a small banquet in Consort Li's palace and have a good time."
I looked at them, a smile spreading across my face. Whether it was a dream or not, I wanted to believe it was real. I didn't want to leave these beautiful days, didn't want to leave these warm people. Even if one day the dream ends, I will cherish this memory in my heart as my most precious treasure.
As night deepened, we each returned to our lodgings. I lay in bed, clutching the peach blossom handkerchief given to me by Consort Rong, listening to the wind outside the window, and gradually drifted off to sleep. In my dream, I saw Consort Li move back to her original palace, and we spent our days together in her palace admiring flowers, making pastries, and playing the pipa. Our days were more lively and warmer than in the cold palace.
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