I felt unwell for the next two days. When I got on the carriage, I was particularly lazy and always felt like I hadn't slept enough. I would also occasionally throw up.
I originally wanted to ask Xie Yuancheng how he persuaded me to go to Linyang, and about Li Ruowei's affairs in the palace. I always thought about it, but I would fall asleep as soon as I got sleepy and forgot to ask.
The car was moving very slowly this time. Feeling unwell, I leaned against Xie Yuancheng and asked, "Yuancheng, you still have to march. I'm feeling much better now. You go first."
“Ying’er, your face is as white as paper, how can I leave with peace of mind? Besides, Anshi will disguise himself as me. Today is the day to set off, and he should have arrived outside the city by now.”
"What if he makes a mistake?"
"Why do you always think about bad things? You're the boss now. After I take you to Linyang and you're settled, I'll leave. Linyang is closer to the border than the capital; you can catch up with them in a week if you ride fast."
I took his hand; his fingers were slender, his bones distinct. "It's all my fault; I ruined your good time."
"My auspicious times are the day I marry Ying'er and the day our child is born."
He just said nice things to coax me, but I listened with great interest and soon fell asleep again.
The journey was tiring, so I always massaged Xie Yuancheng whenever I was awake. He had it much harder than me.
It took us twenty days to arrive, and it was originally supposed to be a few days later. I was worried that Xie Yuancheng was not at ease about the frontier. I once secretly read his letters to Meng Anshi. They had already arrived at Wudun. However, the war at the front was more serious than expected. Although I really wanted to spend more time with him, how could I keep delaying him every time I saw his hidden expression?
Xie Yuancheng was leaving, and Meng Anshi sent three urgent reports, urging him to rush over that very night. Fortunately, this time the vomiting wasn't severe, and the baby in her womb seemed to know its father was going to the battlefield, as it stopped fussing.
“Yuancheng, this is the chain I always carry with me. I put it in this pouch. It’s ugly, but I embroidered it secretly at night. You can take it with you, though.”
I watched as Bizhu and the others dressed him before I secretly embroidered two characters—"Peace"—using Wan'er's embroidery tools in the palace. That's all I can embroider right now.
"It's really beautiful. But I tried to take this chain twice when I was at the Ji residence, and you snatched it back each time."
This is Ji Ying's chain. Because it's very special, I always carry it with me.
"They're all yours now." Now that he's all yours, I just hope he wins the battle soon and comes back.
Xie Yuancheng helped me sit down: "Ying'er, I'm leaving. After I meet with Anshi, I'll have him come back."
"No, it's very safe in the manor. You should go. With him by your side, I'll be less worried."
The thought that Xie Yuancheng has no one he can trust makes me panic.
My heart skipped a beat and my hand trembled as I held his. Xie Yuancheng put his hat aside and took my hands in his: "Ying'er, let me help you to bed to rest. I'll leave after you fall asleep."
I shook my head, holding back my tears: "No, I want to see you out the door, otherwise I won't let you leave."
"Don't be stubborn, it's windy outside, what if you catch a cold?"
I pulled the clothes off the rack and draped one over myself: "This way I won't catch a cold."
I saw the smile in his eyes. When I first came to Linyang, I always disliked him, but now I can't live without him.
Xie Yuancheng left. I stood outside the mansion and watched him ride away on his horse, followed by several guards on both sides. My eyes finally lingered on him.
“Madam, the wind is picking up. Let’s go back. If the Marquis knew you were sad, he wouldn’t be able to leave in peace.”
Bizhu comforted me from the side, and the wet nurse that Xie Yuancheng had found also tried to persuade me earnestly. I wiped away my tears and followed them inside.
On the first day Xie Yuancheng left, I lay in bed staring at the bed curtains, naively hoping he would suddenly come back and say that there was no more fighting on the frontier.
When the wet nurse heard me talking to myself, she smiled very kindly: "Madam, you miss the Marquis, don't you? I was the same age as you back then, and my husband also went off to fight. I felt the same way back then."
I leaned against the headboard and asked her, "Did he come back later?"
“He’s back, and he’s in the countryside now. I keep trying to persuade him to come to the city with me, but he can’t leave his three acres of land at home.”
"Then why did you come to the manor to be a wet nurse?" Shouldn't she be by her husband's side?
"He left, and I was always sad when I stayed in the countryside, so I came to Linyang."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
"It's alright. Madam is just as they said, very kind to the servants. I will take good care of you from now on."
"Thanks."
"The weather is nice today, how about we go for a walk?" Looking at the nanny, I suddenly thought of the director of the orphanage. I grew up in the orphanage, and later my older sister joined the Dark Mirror team. I was always at the bottom of the class, but I managed to get by.
I stayed in Linyang for a month, and the fetus was stable. After three months, Bizhu and the others would occasionally take me out of the mansion for a walk, but we would always come back soon.
Sometimes I worry about the Ji family and Wan'er. I don't know what the situation is like in the capital. But I just followed Xie Yuancheng in a daze.
"Madam, this is a new fruit that has just ripened this month. Try it; it's very sweet."
I don't have a good appetite, so they always try to come up with some fresh food for me. In the morning, I only eat a few bites and then I don't want to move.
Looking at the big peach that Bizhu brought over, I ate half of it in one go. It was indeed very sweet, and every bite reminded me of the time I spent with Xie Yuancheng.
"Madam, you can't eat any more. Peaches are good, but you should only eat a little each day. Don't overdo it."
Bizhu had the others take the peaches away, and I looked at the peaches with my eyes shining.
"Madam, someone from the manor will be arriving shortly."
I wiped my mouth, wondering who would come to the Marquis's mansion. After a while, I saw the steward leading someone over, and when he got closer, I realized it was actually Lin Chao!
"Master."
When I returned to Beijing last time, they said they had transferred Lin Chao to another place. I asked Lu Fengjun to help me go, but I couldn't find him. I thought I would never see him again.
"My lord, oh no, I mean the Marquis's wife, we meet again."
I looked at the women's clothing I was wearing and felt a little embarrassed.
"How did you end up here?"
"It was Brother Xie who sent me the letter. At the time, I was in Yecheng, and I was tied up with some worldly affairs, so I couldn't leave for the time being, which is why I arrived late."
"Do you know Yuan Cheng?"
Could Lin Chao also be Xie Yuancheng's spy planted in Heqing Palace? At the time, he only told me about Granny Zhang and Anxiang, and didn't say anything else.
“We’ve known each other since we were little.” Just then, Bizhu brought over some tea, and I waited until he sat down before continuing to ask.
"You were arranged by him?"
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