Chapter 107 Escape
I dare not look into his eyes, as if I were a criminal, for this old man, Hannah, the name shouted out from the man's mouth, echoing in my ears over and over again.
"Hannah, Hannah, Hannah!!!"
The voice became more and more hoarse and miserable, like a series of slaps on my cheeks. I saw myself, lowering my head and the woman kneeling in front of me. She was forced to raise her head, but she was already dead. I held the sword with my backhand and drove the blade into her spine. Then I saw the man, with tears in his eyes, roaring and rushing towards me, but just as he was about to get close to me.
"laugh!"
The spear-shaped flag of the Seventh Gemina Legion pierced his abdomen, and tears from the corners of his eyes and blood from his mouth slowly flowed down.
I couldn't help but hold my head, bury it in my chest, and close my eyes tightly.
"Whatever you do, don't go on."
The old coachman looked at me in surprise, but I had been avoiding his eyes, because his eyes were exactly the same as the eyes of the guy who rushed towards me and died in front of me that day. I even suspected that all this was a coincidence, and that the old coachman wanted me to collect the debt for his wrongfully killed child.
"What's wrong, sir? Are you feeling unwell? Or did you also lose a relative in this tragedy?"
The old coachman asked me, I suddenly raised my head and looked at him fiercely, he quickly lowered his head and didn't look at me. The curse that was about to come out of my mouth made me hold it back, facing this old man, I couldn't get angry at all, maybe I didn't dare, it must be the conscience in my heart that was controlling me.
"No, nothing." I sighed deeply and explained, "I'm just a survivor of that war and a child of a poor father." I chose to continue hiding it.
"oh?"
When he heard that I had participated in the siege of Ludinan, the old man's cloudy eyes suddenly lit up. He came closer, his tone full of expectation and a hint of joy. "Sir, have you heard of those two children? My son, his name is Luca! And his lover, Hannah, the Hannah I just mentioned!"
"No, I don't know him!"
I shook my head and said that I didn't know him, but in my heart I had already repeated the name over and over again, "Luca, Luca, Luca." He was definitely dead, pierced by the flag of the Seventh Gemina Legion, which could be considered a glorious death.
The twinkle in the old coachman's eyes gradually faded, and his expectant and longing expression was gradually replaced by loss.
"That's right. It was such a chaotic time. One person killed another and was killed. Both the perpetrator and the victim were strangers, so they naturally didn't know each other."
"No, I didn't kill them!"
Perhaps the old coachman's unintentional words made my nerves, which had just relaxed a little, tense up again. I wondered, what did this old guy mean by saying this? Could it be that he already knew what I had done, so he said this to deliberately test me? I didn't dare to look at this old coachman. Did he see my fear and know what I had done at the time? How would he view me then?
The old coachman still looked at me with that puzzled look, as if he really knew nothing.
Hiding? Are you hiding? I looked at the old man. He seemed to know nothing. Was that true? I didn't dare to think any further. Perhaps he saw my boredom and avoidance, so the old coachman stopped talking. This awkward scene lasted until the sun almost set and the road ahead could no longer be seen through the surrounding woods.
It was a really quiet journey. It was the first time since my first march that I was not attacked by barbarians. This actually made me feel uncomfortable.
I jumped out of the carriage with the help of Andrew and Brice. The old coachman smiled and took off his hat to salute me and said, "Have a nice day, sir!"
Through the firelight, I saw that his smile was very relaxed, without any restraint. However, I had a guilty conscience, and it drove me. I felt particularly hideous when I saw his smile, as if he was hiding something. I reluctantly smiled at him and waved goodbye, then turned around and hurriedly trotted away. I wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible, the farther the better.
"grown ups!"
At this moment, my heart tightened, and the sweat on my forehead suddenly covered my entire forehead. I turned my head stiffly and looked at him, the old coachman.
After calling me, this guy actually lowered his head and thought, what? Did he find me again? I stood there stiffly, and at this time I was so flustered that I didn't know what to do.
"My lord." As if he had sorted out his thoughts, he said to me again: "If, I mean if, I also ask you to spare the elderly and children who cannot resist on the battlefield. After all, they are innocent!"
I guess he had finished speaking after these two quick sentences. He bit his lip, nodded at me, and muttered, "That's it, that's it." Then he turned around, leaving me still in a daze.
Today's food was very simple, just salty bread and cold water. According to the order from the scouts, all teams were not allowed to light a fire to cook. In such a cold and humid environment at night, the only way to keep warm was to sit together and cover themselves with blankets.
I sat with Andrew, Brise, and of course, Fermiou. Sitting in such a dense bush, I knew that there were people sitting all around me, but I couldn't hear any signs of movement. It really made me feel uneasy.
After a whole day's journey, everyone was so tired that they could fall asleep while standing. Brise and Fermiou were already snoring.
“Andrew.”
I was not tired at all, and now I couldn't fall asleep listening to the snoring of those two guys. I must have been driven to nervous breakdown by the old coachman. I called Andrew and wanted to talk to him.
"What's wrong? Luke?"
Andrew turned his head, and it was obvious that he was not asleep either.
"You also heard what the old coachman said today."
As I said this, I tightened the chain mail around my body. I couldn't take off my armor at a night like this, as I might encounter any unexpected situation.
"Well, that poor old man."
Andrew said this and chuckled twice. I couldn't tell whether he felt pity or ridicule for the old coachman.
"He has a child named Luca, and his child has a lover named Hannah."
"Well, I know everything. Luka, what do you want to say?"
Andrew asked me, he really had no idea what either of us did that day.
I let out a long sigh. Andrew's look made me feel even more guilty. He killed a person but didn't even feel the slightest bit of guilt. Such a person is either a hero or a devil.
"Andrew," I asked him, "how many people have we killed since we joined the army together?"
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"How many people did you kill? Ha, interesting." Andrew laughed dryly twice, and then continued: "Luka, you look strange today. Is the wound on your chest infected? Has it messed up your brain so much that you can't feel the rationality and clarity given to you by God?"
"No, I just."
I didn't know how to express it. I was struggling in my heart whether or not to tell Andrew about this. After all, we were the murderers.
"You know Luca and Hannah!"
I finally mustered up the courage to speak out, and Andrew remained silent, listening quietly. This eased my inner tension a lot, and I had to admit that Andrew was a good listener.
"These two men, um, do you remember the attack we encountered on our way to Ludinan?"
"Ha! That time!"
Andrew shouted excitedly when talking about that time. If Brice and Fermiou were not too tired, they would have been woken up long ago. Andrew felt that he was being rude, so he lowered his voice and said to me: "We were so manly at that time, weren't we, Luca? We taught those money-grubbing peasants a good lesson!"
"Do you remember the Burgundian you stabbed to death with your flag?"
"That fool who doesn't care about his life?" Andrew said, shaking his head. "This guy really wants to die!"
"Well, to tell you the truth, if the man is as I expected, he is the son of the old coachman." I made up my mind and told him the truth!
"he?"
Andrew's voice was beyond my expectation. I thought he would be very surprised, but he was so calm after hearing it that it was frightening. I could hear in his tone that he was calm. Such shocking news was not even as big as a small stone to him, and it could not cause even a ripple in his calm mind.
“It is indeed very regrettable.”
Andrew laughed, just a few quiet laughs.
"Why? Why don't you feel some regret?" I asked him. I couldn't believe it. Could it be that after so many killings, he had already killed the little bit of humanity left in his heart? I didn't believe it, so I wanted to find out the truth. I wanted to hear his answer.
"If you had thought so much, you wouldn't have gotten this unacceptable truth!" Andrew's tone remained calm. "Everyone who went to the battlefield was someone's child, father or husband. But this is not a reason for us to pity them, because there is no personal grudge, only a life-and-death fight."
What Andrew said makes sense. They may be good fathers, good husbands, and good children! But we are the same. When we take up arms and face each other, these reasons are no longer valid. No one is a good father, a good husband, or a good child. The only ones left are enemies. Swords and spears will not care about these pale reasons, and will not give people a moment of nostalgia. There is only killing and being killed!
"Wipe away the dead, leaving the pain and torture to the living!" I murmured with my head down, feeling that there was no other reason that could enlighten me now.
"That woman named Hannah, I lost my mind and killed her in a very cruel way."
"If you hesitate for a moment, you will be the one who dies! Then will you expect the person who killed you to feel guilty?"
"That's right, it's better to live a miserable life than to die!"
I thought of the gangster who stabbed me several times. Would he feel guilty now? I am afraid that only he knows the answer! Forget it, it is late. I slowly closed my eyes. Forgive me. I will tell you when I see God!
Oh, it’s the weekend, I have a day off, just four hours, four hours!!! Shit!!!
(End of this chapter)