Chapter 38 Li Wei

When I opened my eyes again, the sun had already peeked out halfway, and the ground was still a little hazy. I struggled to get up and rubbed my aching shoulders. The bloodstains had solidified on my chain mail, and I was too lazy to clean them up.

I stood up and looked around. The mercenaries who were sitting together and could now be called comrades-in-arms were all asleep. The old warlord Medius was also a privileged class. I think he probably thought the ground was dirty, so he went to sleep on the car loaded with tent cloth. I looked down at Andrew. This guy really treated this flag as his wife. The flagpole was so thin and so hard. How do you think he fell asleep while hugging it? As I was thinking, a feeling of shit rushed from my lower body along the nerves of my spine to my forehead, making the hairs on my body stand up. Oh, no, no.

This guy made me sweat a little. I was so anxious that I held my butt and turned around. Looking around, there were only burnt ruins all around. If I went in, I wouldn't have anywhere to go.

"Toilet, toilet, toilet"

I cried out softly, but in this place where I had survived a disaster, it was a luxury to see an intact house other than the Governor's Mansion, let alone a toilet. I was almost in despair, holding my buttocks and not daring to take a step, for fear of accidentally leaking something in my pants.

"What should I do? What should I do?"

My brain was working fast. Although I didn't mind doing it in the open air, I also had to consider the surrounding environment. It didn't need to be too good or too bad. So I should find a place near the Governor's Mansion. It wasn't far away and I could see it just by looking up.

With that in mind, I hurriedly trotted along the way, picking up a few stones along the way, because I knew I would need them. Gritting my teeth, I turned a corner and found a gap between two burned houses. This was a good place for feng shui, and I was stunned. I hurried over with my pants in my hand, and looked around to see if there was anyone around. Fortunately, fortunately, there was no one around, so it was time for me to show my skills! I was no longer restrained, I rolled up my mail (it was up to my thighs, too long), took off my pants, and squatted there! I won't describe the sound. I don't know what I ate, or if I was too nervous, so the loud noise scared me and I shivered even when I squatted there.

"Who? Who's there!"

There was a sudden sound from outside, and I held my breath in fear, but I couldn't control it anymore. The momentum was so strong that I couldn't control it.

"It's over. It's over."

I closed my eyes in despair, and now I just hope that the guard who noticed something was wrong will not take action first before talking. In this way, I have no ability to fight back while I deal with the big one. I don’t know if it’s because of my race’s physique. I squatted there for less than a few seconds and it felt uncomfortable. My thighs and waist felt like they were torn apart. Now I just hope that the guard is a coward and won’t look for people everywhere.

A horned helmet was sticking out from the corner of the wall. When I saw the vertical iron corner, I was already desperate. Under the protruding helmet was a pair of black eyes, staring at me with wide eyes.

"Oh, oh my God!"

The man looked at me as if I were a monster. He jumped out from the corner of the wall, and I could see his whole body clearly. He was wearing an iron guardsman's horned helmet, a copper half-body scale armor, and a red cloak. This outfit was definitely not for an ordinary soldier. He must be an officer of a high position. I looked into the officer's eyes like a fool, feeling indescribable embarrassment and disgust in my heart.

"Soldier, what are you doing?"

The officer pointed at me, covering his nose with one hand and pointing at me with the other, as if he was asking a question that already knew the answer.

I lowered my head and covered my face with my hands. Although we are all men, I was too shy. I still squatted there because I hadn't finished shitting yet.

Seeing that I didn't answer, the officer's attention shifted downwards and saw a few stones next to my feet. He picked up one of them and looked at it carefully in front of his eyes.

"What do you want to do with this thing?"

This damn foreigner, like a hundred thousand whys, looked at me and didn't say anything, can't you just avoid it? Now he's talking about my stone again, how should I answer? "Uh, this, ah, is used to, to wipe it when it's over." I answered truthfully.

"This? Rub that?"

The officer's eyes widened even more. He looked at the stone, then turned his head to look at his butt, as if he felt as if I came from the sky.

"Are you a Roman?"

"Yeah, yes."

"Unbelievable, unbelievable." The damn officer handed the stone back to me tremblingly and refused to leave. I am too embarrassed to wipe my ass after I got on him. I think he just wants to see how I wipe my ass.

"Hey, sir, could you step aside for a moment?"

I was really embarrassed, but deep down I really wanted to draw my sword and kill this curious bastard.

"Oh, soldier, I just want to say that the public toilet in the barracks is just at the intersection in front. Your behavior is really a bit of a bad influence!"

"Oh, sir, I just can't help it!"

I was really impatient. My legs were numb from squatting. I had no idea how long this bastard was going to stand. I wasn't sure if I could stand up again. "Hey, sir, could you please step aside for a moment?"

"Oh, sorry, sorry!"

The officer finally came to his senses and quickly retreated to the other side of the corner, where I couldn't see him. I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly picked up a stone to wipe it. To be honest, I had never used such a cold stone before, and I was not very skilled in using it. I quickly solved my discomfort and pulled up my pants. I also quickly collected some charred charcoal from behind to cover the puddle of filth. I clapped my hands and strode out. As soon as I came out, I saw the officer, but this time he was followed by many soldiers. They were all wearing scale armor and cloaks, staring at me fiercely.

"W-what's going on?"

I suddenly felt something was wrong. This guy went out to call for help! Oh no, will he treat me as a barbarian and arrest me and execute me? What should I do?

My first thought was to run, but my legs were so painful from squatting, and it was already very difficult to stand up straight. Alas, I failed at the critical moment.

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"You, which unit are you from?"

The officer pointed at me and asked.

"As for me, I am not part of any military unit. I am a mercenary!"

I thought about quickly disassociating myself from the matter, hoping that perhaps this Roman officer would not do anything to a mercenary like me.

"Oh, okay then. Do you know where your troops are now?"

The officer asked, looking friendly, but the soldiers behind him were not so friendly. They stared at me, their right hands on the hilts of their swords. It seemed that they were determined that I was a Burgundian spy, and this was just a safe measure to confirm this guess.

"Hey, sir, may I know your name?"

To be on the safe side, I also need to know this guy's background.

"Julia Claudius Levi!" The officer said it very directly, and it was a long list.

"Haha, from the Claude family, that's fine, aristocratic family!"

I couldn't help but secretly admire him. This time I met a noble. What a guy. I couldn't help but look at this officer a few more times. But this guy has a little plan. Now he is thinking about how to kill me, a Burgundian spy.

"So, what's your name?" the guy named Levi started asking me again.

"Oh, Orius, Luca." I was a little dissatisfied. You told me why I was not reborn in the body of a noble family. Now, this guy has stolen the limelight.

(End of this chapter)