Small probability
"Sui'an, I miss you so much." Ruan Ye told her. There was no sound on the other end of the phone for a while.
He lowered his eyes to stare at the scar on his hand, then continued, "...I'm very happy to hear your voice today. I won't bother you again. I wish you good health and happiness!"
He didn't wait for a response and hung up the phone. His emotions were out of control, and sadness was about to move from the blue of the sky to his eyebrows.
He heard a strange sound not far away, and he saw that it was Fu Xingchuan beating someone. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew that if he continued like this, the man would be beaten to death, so Ruan Ye stepped forward to stop him.
He didn't listen to what Fu Xingchuan said to him. He just returned the phone to Lin Luo and left.
The night was particularly long and Ruan Ye couldn't fall asleep. He even secretly took the sleeping pills prescribed by Li Fangshu from the hospital. But just when the water was boiled and he was about to take the medicine, his cell phone screen lit up.
It was a message sent to him by Tong Yun. Ruan Ye frowned. They had not had much conversation in school, and only said a few words during the summer tutoring period. I heard that she was going abroad. Is there anything she wants from him?
Ruan Ye put the medicine down and unlocked his phone. He saw the following message: "Ruan Ye, I'm Tong Yun. I'm going abroad. Although we didn't know each other well, I'm very grateful for the tutoring you gave me. I'm happy to be your friend."
[I also want to tell you something. I accidentally learned it from Fu Xingchuan, but Sui'an didn't let him tell you. Sui'an actually went abroad to have heart surgery. The success rate of the surgery is very low, and it will be done more than once. Sui'an didn't want you to be distracted, so he broke up with you.]
I know people are very vulnerable when they're sick. She may appear happy on the surface, but she's probably afraid inside. I'm not telling you this to do anything, I just want you to know. I also know that white lies can be very hurtful.
【I wish you a safe and happy future and may all your wishes come true. 】
The hot water in the cup had cooled down, but Ruan Ye's eyes were still fixed on those messages.
Zhu Sui'an had broken up with him because of the surgery, not because she no longer loved him. Ruan Ye was deeply touched, and regretted what he had said to her that afternoon. He wanted to do something, but he didn't know what to do. The sound of Li Fangshu flipping through a book in the living room to look up school information for him drifted in; the scorch marks in the corners of the room hadn't yet disappeared.
Ruan Ye withdrew his hand that was about to open the door, feeling as if a glass of cold water was poured on his heart. He couldn't even afford to buy a plane ticket to see her, so even if he got there, what could he do?
He opened the chat interface with Zhu Sui'an and wanted to say something, but was afraid to disturb her rest. At this time, a psychological consultation app popped up and automatically replied: "Hello, I am Zhu Sui'an, a girl who has read many psychology books. If you are unhappy, you can chat with me."
Ruan Ye let his phone go out. As daylight dawned, he reported to Nanjing University and worked as a tutor to earn money, to get a scholarship to relieve Li Fangshu's stress, and to save money to go abroad to see Zhu Sui'an.
He had been chatting with her through the channels of psychological counseling, pretending to be a stranger. When she had surgery, he would pray for her at a temple thousands of miles away.
Li Fangshu was puzzled. "Aren't you a staunch materialist? Why do you often come with me to worship Buddha lately?"
"If there is a one in ten thousand chance that the gods and Buddhas can fulfill my wish, why shouldn't I believe it?" Ruan Ye put his hands in his pockets, stroking a pearl hairband that Zhu Sui'an had given him before.
Li Fangshu didn't know what wish Ruan Ye had made. Knowing he wouldn't tell her, she didn't ask. Instead, she prayed to the Buddha statue, "Please fulfill all my son's wishes!"
There might really be a one in ten thousand chance that Zhu Sui'an would be blessed by the gods and Buddhas, successfully survive the critical period, and become lively and energetic again. Every time he talked to her, Ruan Ye could feel her cheerful tone and optimism.
As pieces of consulting information were pushed up, ginkgo leaves fell down on the tree-lined avenue of Nanjing University, and several autumns passed in the blink of an eye.
He had been admitted to graduate school, and Lin Luo was studying hard for the exams. She was under a lot of pressure, and he often ran into her crying on a bench by the school lake. One time, he was annoyed by her noise and said, "Hey, do you want me to teach you an effective way to relieve stress?"
She sobbed and asked, "What method?"
"Let me make it clear first. I'll teach you, but you have to pay me and promise me one thing."
Lin Luo agreed, and Ruan Ye quickly ran to the convenience store to buy cigarettes and a lighter, stuffing them into her hands. "Try it, crying all the time won't help."
He patiently taught her, but Lin Luo was too dumb to learn and kept choking. When she asked him to demonstrate, he shook his head and said, "I've given up."
"Is it easy to quit?" Lin Luo asked. Ruan Ye answered honestly, "No, it's very painful. But I heard that if you have the self-control to quit smoking, you can forget someone."
But he didn't forget.
Lin Luo blinked, lit another cigarette, and exhaled a puff of smoke.
The fog rose into the sky, and Ruan Ye also boarded a plane to London. The reward he asked Lin Luo for was to let her call Zhu Sui'an to ask her where she was and her home address.
He saved enough money and decided to go find her. To be honest, the idea of getting back together wasn't much of a concern, but more of a desire to see her.
The day they landed happened to be winter time, the environment was gloomy and cold, Ruan Ye was wearing thin clothes, and there was a light rain in the air, but he felt warm in his heart.
He stopped a car and went to her house. The car stopped opposite the door. Before he got out of the car, he saw a man bringing Zhu Sui'an back and tying a scarf on her.
Zhu Sui'an looked at the man with a smile, and Ruan Ye then realized how cold he felt. He was shocked to realize that he had not been able to give Zhu Sui'an even a little warmth in the past.
That's good too.
After returning to China, Ruan Ye blocked Zhu Sui'an's QQ and phone number, but he was reluctant to delete the small program.
Li Fangshu learned from Lin Xiao that he had someone he liked, and asked him indirectly about it. He told her, "I don't like her anymore."
After graduating from graduate school, Ruan Ye stayed at the school and worked there with a high salary, so Li Fangshu no longer had to stay up late at night doing manual work.
It's just that people have free time and like to introduce girls to him and ask him to go on blind dates, but Ruan Ye didn't agree to meet any of them.
Even after quitting smoking for many years, he still couldn't get used to it. Sometimes when he felt like going out to buy a pack of cigarettes, he would take out Zhu Sui'an's pearl hairband and put it to his nose to sniff, trying to suppress the urge to smoke again.
In 2023, Ruan Ye became a professor and was going to Jinghe to attend an academic conference.
The day before yesterday, a message popped up on the consultation app wishing you a happy new year. "Hi, it's been a while since we last chatted. I wonder how you've been doing lately? Has your pearl disease improved? I recently returned to China and am in Jinghe. I wonder where you live? It would be great if we could meet."
[Or is it possible that we have already seen this before? Even though the world is so big, such low-probability events can still happen, right?]
Ruan Ye didn't reply to her. He picked up his phone and went out to the airport to fly to Jinghe.
That night was the first snow that fell in Jinghe. Ruan Ye drank a few glasses of wine with his colleagues. His face was slightly flushed, but he was very conscious. He saw a woman appearing opposite him.
The woman who had appeared in his dreams countless times.
The woman was wearing a coat and walked towards him, looking tired. When he got closer, he could see that her face was red, probably because she had drunk a lot.
After the show, the teams from other schools all took a bus back to the hotel. Zhu Sui'an took Ruan Ye by the tie and led him to a corner pillar. She looked at his face and said, "You look like my ex...boyfriend. Come play with me!"
"Ex-ex-boyfriend" Ruan Ye laughed angrily, but Zhu Sui'an moved closer to block his mouth, his hands tightly grasping the corner of his clothes, "Can't you accompany me?"
"Okay, it's your own choice. Don't blame me when you wake up tomorrow morning." Ruan Ye hugged her, opened his mouth, and plundered the space in her mouth.
Zhu Sui'an was kissed so hard that she couldn't stand. He put her on the bed and quickly took off all her clothes. He kissed her everywhere, and did everything except the last step because he was afraid her heart couldn't bear it.
Zhu Sui'an always stretched out her hand as if to grab something, and Ruan Ye hurriedly dodged it, fearing that she would cause him to accidentally fire a gun and lose control. As a result, as soon as he dodged it, Zhu Sui'an kicked him and almost crippled him.
She started crying for no apparent reason. Ruan Ye slowly moved over, touched her face with his hand, and coaxed her softly, "Sui'an, what's wrong? Do you have a headache? Or do you feel uncomfortable somewhere?"
Zhu Sui'an opened his eyes and looked at him, then moved his hand down to touch his waist and abdomen, then stopped sobbing and kissed him again.
Ruan Ye hugged her more gently this time, but she clung to his arm tightly, as if she was afraid that he would run away.
Ruan Ye would not run away. He would not miss such a rare event. The next morning, Ruan Ye woke up and found Zhu Sui'an was not there. However, she had not completely cleaned up the scene. The watch with her name engraved on it was still hidden in the quilt.
He took the watch and went straight to the Fu family. Fu Songjin and Zhu Yu treated him as Zhu Sui'an's friend. He placed the watch on the coffee table and explained his purpose. "I was drunk last night, and Zhu Sui'an took me back to his room and did something unspeakable. My inner thigh is still bruised..."
Their eyes widened. Zhu Sui'an came down from upstairs, his face filled with shame. They asked, "What do you want?"
Ruan Ye said calmly: "I want to marry her."
He thought her parents might strongly disagree and that they could compensate him in other ways, but he didn't expect them to say so calmly, "Go back first, and we'll discuss it."
A low-probability event happened again. Zhu Sui'an agreed to marry him. Ruan Ye quickly flew back to Nan'an and told Li Fangshu the news.
Li Fangshu recalled the year when Ruan Ye brought Zhu Sui'an home for dinner, and the pearl hairband he had always hidden under his pillow. She understood everything.
The wedding went smoothly. Ruan Ye held Zhu Sui'an's hand on the stage. All the resentment, longing, and separation that he had ever felt turned into one sentence, "I love you."
He kissed his bride, his first love, the only love of his life, the woman he would grow old with.
When the wedding ended, the guests started to clamor for Ruan Ye to carry Zhu Sui'an back to the room. He really picked her up and ran, just like he ran to the infirmary with her in his arms many years ago.
After returning to the room and putting Zhu Sui'an on the bed, Ruan Ye remembered that he didn't toast Fu Xingchuan tonight, and he would definitely be angry tomorrow, so he planned to go out first.
Unexpectedly, Zhu Sui'an grabbed his wrist and said, "Is the inner thigh still bruised? Are you kidding me? Let me see."
Ruan Ye couldn't care less about anything else. He immediately took off his pants and said stiffly, "Look at you."
Zhu Sui'an's ears turned red. He raised his head and tugged at his tie, forcing him to lean over and look at him. "Ruan Ye, since we're married, let's live a good life!"
"Well, luckily it wasn't broken." Ruan Ye turned off the lights and finished what he hadn't finished last time.
"Do you know? I started having erotic dreams about you when I was seventeen. In my dreams, I kissed you, licked you, bit you, and fucked you." Ruan Ye fed Zhu Sui'an some water and said at the same time that she was choked.
Ruan Ye patted her back, packed her bag, bleached her hair, and pleased her in bed. Days passed like this. Zhu Sui'an still liked to play, but he acted nonchalant, just telling himself that it didn't matter, as long as they didn't divorce her, she could do anything.
He didn't mind Zhong Qing taking photos with her, which was quite generous, right? But Zhu Sui'an was not satisfied and insisted, "You don't love me as much as before!"
Ruan Ye got on the bed, took off his glasses, and stated the facts rationally, "I love you more than before, I love everything about you."
He held Zhu Sui'an in his arms as they fell asleep. When she turned her back in anger, he kissed her back.
After learning about Tong Yun's death, Zhu Sui'an burst into tears. It was also at that time that Ruan Ye understood the deep meaning of the words Tong Yun had sent to him.
Not long after, they went to Guangdong to see her. Ruan Ye and Zhu Sui'an bought a bunch of blue cornflowers. Zhu Sui'an talked to her a lot, and Ruan Ye only said thank you to her when he left.
Fu Xingchuan and Lin Luo are getting divorced, and Zhu Sui'an is devastated by this. She is worried about Fu Xingchuan, but Ruan Ye is worried about her.
On the day of camping, Ruan Ye started to have a headache early in the morning. He always felt that something was wrong. When Zhu Sui'an fell down, he realized that it was his father who was giving him a warning.
He paced back and forth outside the operating room, praying to every deity, his eyes moistening unconsciously. Finally, through a blur of tears, he saw the operating room door open and heard the doctor say, "He's out of danger for now."
Ruan Ye didn't dare to breathe at all. Even when he saw that the line on her ECG monitor was normal at the ICU door, he still refused to relax and just kept staring at her.
Zhu Sui'an woke up, and he blinked, holding her hands, "Sui'an, I felt bad during the time you closed your eyes. Please don't scare me like this again, okay?"
She just looked at him for a moment, "I think you've turned back into that boy again."
Ruan Ye kissed the back of her hand, "I have never changed. I am not used to giving up on you. Please don't leave me again, okay?"
"good."
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