Chapter 11: The past is dark and cannot be retrieved (3) You are looking at me and wondering if I can...
Xie Yun pondered for a moment, and her voice was like a fading light, "...Husband?"
Yan Huinan held Xie Yun's hand with satisfaction. She was so thin that holding her hand felt like he could easily grasp her fragile bones. Her hand was slender and nimble, with slightly long and rounded nails showing at the tips of her fingertips. Yan Huinan held it in his hand and stroked it bit by bit, "So thin, yet so stubborn. Are you judging me by how I can't bear to touch you?"
The setting sun, which had been as blazing as fire before, had now completely disappeared, leaving only the faint light of day.
The servants came in grovelling and lit the lamps. One by one, two by two, the candles in the room lit up one after another, and it was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.
But in the yard, one could hear the sound of the board hitting Han Zhen's flesh, Han Zhen's shrill cries, and his weak sobs for mercy.
Each and every blow lashed at Xie Yun's heart, nearly drawing blood. She nearly gritted her teeth and took the beatings on Han Zhen's behalf. But Yan Huinan was just using Han Zhen as a weapon to beat her:
"That's too much! You've gone too far! Yan Huinan, she's just a child who hasn't even reached marriage age yet... Tell them to stop!"
Xie Yun's bean-sized tears fell on Yan Huinan's hand. Only then did he realize that Xie Yun was crying anxiously.
But he still spoke in a serious tone, his voice full of condescension: "Xie Yun, the friendship between you and me was only enough for me to put down my spear that day. Everything after that is my charity to you. Do you understand?"
Xie Yun was filled with humiliation and regret, hating her for being so self-righteous: "I understand."
Yan Huinan then slowly raised his hand to wipe away her tears, "Remember to pay it back later."
"Yeah." Xie Yun had no choice but to respond. She felt that the little hope she had held onto that afternoon was no longer just ridiculous and could be used to mock herself.
She was so stupid. Where did she get the confidence to think that Yan Huinan would protect her as before?
"Then Han Zhen..."
"Feeling sorry for her? When you don't have the ability to protect her, you have to learn to be soft to me."
"Okay." Xie Yun nodded.
"Stop it." Yan Huinan then ordered the people outside.
Xie Yun was just about to shake off Yan Huinan and go to the yard to check on Han Zhen's injuries, but Yan Huinan refused to let go and instead raised his hand to tightly pinch her chin, forcing her to face him.
A faint brown spot at the corner of his eye made him seem colder and more indifferent the more he looked at her. He lowered his head and ruthlessly kissed her. This time, his expression wasn't one of hunger, but one of confidence, a sure thing, a victor who clearly had Xie Yun firmly in his grasp. He bit her lips slowly and methodically, like a victor savoring victory.
Yan Huinan was also slightly surprised at his own natural ability. The moment he tasted the sweetness on Xie Yun's tongue, he naturally wanted to cling to her. He wanted to force her into submission. But he knew he was begging her for this little bit of sweetness, so he had to create the illusion of charity.
Before Xie Yun could react, he swept through her like a broken bamboo, enveloping her in the faint scent of cedar. She didn't enjoy the kiss, feeling like a puppet in his hands, powerless to resist whatever he wanted to do.
Even when she wanted to resist, she could only be kissed by him until she couldn't breathe. She had no choice but to struggle and beg for mercy: "Yan Huinan..."
As soon as she said it, she quickly changed her words, but no matter how she said it, she felt that at this moment, the word contained a hint of beautiful scenery: "...Husband, no more."
There was a clear candlelight in Yan Huinan's dark eyes. He glanced at her vaguely, then avoided her like a snake and threw her aside.
He was angry at himself for losing control. He shouldn't be like this.
Xie Yun's eyes were covered with a thin layer of mist, and her fair, clear face was rosy and shiny. She begged for mercy, but her eyes couldn't lie.
"You look so humiliated, as if the whole world owes you something." Yan Huinan was furious at her and couldn't help but grit his teeth. "You owe me, Xie Yun."
Xie Yun did not refute him again, but asked him: "As long as they are submissive to you, what about others?"
Because she wanted to get a definite answer from Yan Huinan.
Yan Huinan was startled at first, but when he saw the wound on her forehead, his eyes dimmed slightly, and without hesitation, he gave her a reassurance like a military order: "No need."
Xie Yun's heart was rekindled, and she smiled bitterly. With these words, no one in the mansion could surpass her except Yan Huinan.
-
After Yan Huinan returned to the study, Xie Yun brought the golden medicine to the lower room to look for Han Zhen. However, as soon as she approached the door, she heard a double act of arrogant and sarcastic voices from inside.
"Oh, I didn't see you enjoying any happiness following the Madam. But you got a good beating." The voice sounded like Hua Miao who followed Aunt Huaixiu.
"That's right. I thought you had climbed up to some high-ranking official, that's why you're so devoted to me." Xie Yun couldn't tell who the other person was. After all, she hadn't taken charge of this house yet, and she had no intention of controlling these lawless maids.
It has nothing to do with her, as long as she doesn't dance in front of her.
But now, since she still has to stay in the general's mansion for a while, she can't be so willing to fight and be beaten.
"You've just arrived, so you probably don't know. The lady you follow so devotedly is the one who killed the general's entire family. The general married her to keep her for future trouble, but you are so stubborn that you dare to stand with her." Hua Miao said.
Han Zhen was furious and wanted to kick them out, "You haven't seen it with your own eyes, yet you dare to speak nonsense and slander the lady!"
Hua Miao deftly dodged the teacup thrown by Han Zhen: "This is what Aunt Huaixiu instructed. Aunt Huaixiu is the general's wet nurse, how could she be lying? I'm reminding you kindly, don't be ungrateful."
Another person sarcastically said, "Don't you understand? The general is just making an excuse today to make an example of someone. You've become the one being vented, yet you're still defending her."
Xie Yun had heard these words so many times recently that her ears were almost callused. It was indeed her fault that she had harmed Han Zhen today. But since Han Zhen treated her sincerely, she had to pull herself together. No one had ever been bullied by standing by her side before.
"If she doesn't defend me, will she defend you?" Xie Yun walked gracefully into the lower room. Her dark green brocade dress with bamboo leaf patterns shone like jade, its glow looming and revealing, making her words even more imposing without even being angry. "Do you deserve it?"
After all, she was the master now, and Hua Miao and Chu Yue were just servants. How could a servant be so stubborn in front of her master?
Moreover, as a fellow woman, Xie Yun could tell at a glance that she was not one to suffer any loss. Even if she suffered a loss today, she would always get it back one day in the future.
"I...I don't understand what Madam is saying." Hua Miao hurriedly pulled Chu Yue to kneel down, pretending to be stupid to the end.
Because Frost and Snow Garden is located in a remote corner, Hua Miao and others were not present on the day when Xie Yun took the knife and drew blood, so they had no idea what Xie Yun would look like when he was vindictive.
Xie Yun didn't plan to talk much with them today. Her main purpose of coming here today was to take care of Han Zhen's injuries.
Xie Yun arrogantly didn't even give Hua Miao and the others any extra glances. She just smiled and concentrated on applying medicine to the wound on Han Zhen's butt. She was quick and efficient when applying medicine to others, but when it came to Han Zhen, she actually felt a little worried as if she was treating her own sister.
Han Zhen's wound was covered in blood. He had applied medicine before, but the medicine was soaked with blood. A thin layer of blood scab was stuck to the gauze. Even if he peeled it off carefully, it would tear the flesh and cause excruciating pain.
The light in the room was dim. Xie Yun's hands, from years of tending to flowers and herbs, were white and delicate. Now, gripping the small spoon, she gently scooped up some medicinal powder and poured it carefully onto Han Zhen's wound. "Bear with the pain."
Han Zhen gritted his teeth and said, "Madam, I can do it myself."
"How are you going to get up there yourself? Don't move, I'll do it."
"Thank you, Madam." No matter what others said, she would not easily betray Madam just because Madam had never treated her as a lowly servant.
Xie Yun didn't let Hua Miao and the other two get up, and they couldn't just stand up, so they had to kneel and secretly watch Xie Yun apply medicine to Han Zhen personally.
After Xie Yun applied the medicine to Han Zhen, she did not let the two people get up. Instead, she asked them to kneel somewhere else, in the yard.
The evening breeze was just right at this time. Xie Yun asked someone to move a rattan chair and a wooden table. She sat leisurely under the corridor, smelling the fragrance of the violets blooming on the courtyard wall, and slowly made herself a pot of tea to calm her mind.
The delicate fragrance of tea lingered on Hua Miao and Chu Yue's noses. They were house-born children, and the general rarely visited the mansion, and even when he was, he never punished anyone. They had never been punished since they were born.
Now they thought they had met a soft persimmon who was easy to take advantage of, but they didn't expect that this lady was an iron plate that would make them suffer excruciating pain if they kicked her.
Hua Miao couldn't stand it anymore after kneeling for a while, and was about to beg Xie Yun for mercy hesitantly.
Aunt Huaixiu, having heard the tip from someone, rushed to rescue Hua Miao and Chu Yue.
As soon as she entered the room, she acted like a general's wet nurse, speaking in a haughty manner: "Madam, are you dissatisfied with the kneeling and are you looking for revenge against me?"
The sight of Huaixiu made Xie Yun feel a sharp pain in her knees, and her entire body ached. It wasn't just Aunt Huaixiu who disliked Xie Yun; Xie Yun had also disliked her nurse, Yan Huinan, since she was a child. She had even argued with Yan Huinan about Huaixiu before.
Xie Yun took a sip of tea as if nothing had happened. The aroma of tea filled her mouth and her mood immediately improved.
"Aunt, I am indeed petty and vindictive. But my kneeling to the princess and the old marquis must be sincere. I punished them to kneel because they talked about the mistress behind her back." Xie Yun pouted and pretended to be thoughtful. In fact, it was not difficult to think of it. "I remember that in the past in the palace, Aunt Huaixiu would directly have the tongues of the maids who gossiped. What? Do you think my punishment is too light? I can also order their tongues to be pulled out. But the scene is a bit too bloody and cruel."
"You!" Huaixiu was furious, but her years of following the rules hadn't made her lose her proper manners. She could naturally see that Xie Yun was mocking her for favoritism and corruption. "Does Madam have any evidence?"
Xie Yun just shook his head and tapped his ears lightly: "My ears are the evidence."
She didn't need to show any evidence to the old man Huaixiu. The only people in the mansion who could make her feel guilty were the eldest princess and the old marquis. Xie Yun didn't care about anyone else.
She tilted her head to glance at the sky and said to the maid waiting outside, "Bring some food. I'm hungry."
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