Chapter 57: Autumn Wind Mistake (6) Farewell
Yan Huinan took a long time to process the imperial physician's words before looking at Xie Yun in disbelief. He hadn't considered this; he had clearly withdrawn at the time.
But what Yan Huinan found ridiculous was that he never once questioned whether the child was his. Because Xie Yun didn't want the child, he subconsciously assumed Xie Yun didn't want the child because she hated him.
He had made Xie Yun disgusted to this extent. She was so cruel that she even didn't want to have her own child.
She's pregnant, so what did he just do to her?
Yan Huinan stretched out his hand to touch her, but when he looked up he saw his hands were covered in blood. There was a long distance between him and Xie Yun.
He had never felt so bad before. He couldn't catch his breath, and he felt so exhausted that he wanted to collapse right there and never stand up again. He felt sorry for Xie Yun, who had just been in pain, and regretted the stupid things he had done and the hurtful words he had said.
But when he looked at Xie Yun deeply, the voice of the imperial physician would echo in his ears again and again.
She didn't tell herself that she was pregnant. There was a life connecting them, a continuation of life between them. But Xie Yun didn't say anything.
She went behind his back and tried to kill the child.
Si Wen tactfully dismissed everyone except the imperial physician. Silence reigned. Yan Huinan tried several times to ask Xie Yun when this had happened and why she hadn't told him. But no matter how many times he tried, he couldn't utter a word.
For the first time, Yan Huinan, always proud and proud, bowed his head for a long time. His life had seen betrayal, separation, and fall from grace. Yan Huinan had waded through these quagmires before. No matter how severe the wounds, his battered body had scabbed over, and as long as they were not torn, they would not bleed easily. But for the first time in his life, he had suffered such a setback, and it was at the hands of the one he loved.
He felt as if he had been struck completely from head to toe by a bolt of lightning.
Xie Yun not only denied him, but also everything between them. She didn't even want the child that was conceived in her body and shared the same blood as her.
He felt unusually exhausted, all the strength drained from his body. He couldn't laugh or cry, only felt his internal organs twisted together, his body churning like a tangle of chaos. He had no time to think, his mind was blank, he was completely confused.
After a long confrontation, Xie Yun was extremely disappointed with Yan Huinan. Tears rolled down her cheeks in the wind, but she stubbornly did not speak or deny it.
She was silently telling Yan Huinan: Yes, this is the truth. She didn't want this child, she didn't want anything.
Yan Huinan didn't understand. He just wanted Xie Yun and wanted her to give him some love. Why did it turn out like this?
He suddenly thought of his father and mother. They loved each other so much and knew how to love. Why didn't anyone teach him how to love? He only remembered hatred, he only knew how to hate, and he only thought about revenge.
Why did they leave so early? How did the father feel when he found out that the mother was pregnant? What did he do?
Will a mother feel pain when she finds out she is pregnant?
But why did he look at Xie Yun with such pain and hatred?
She was willing to harm her own body to abort the child.
Who can tell him what to do now to keep Xie Yun?
Mother, it seems there's no other way... If he dies now, who will clear his father's name? Who will avenge his parents' tragic deaths? How can he face his father and mother?
He will hold on to his last breath, even if it is his last breath, he will drag his enemies to hell with him even if he can only linger on.
But Xie Yun is not him. Her life is clean and innocent. Maybe if she leaves him, she can have a better life.
But Lou Cheng is not a good person either, and Xie Qingyun is even less so.
Who should he entrust Xie Yun to so that he would feel at ease?
But how could he be willing to do that?
Xie Yun was also sad. Just now, maybe it was an illusion, maybe not, she miraculously felt that the little life that was slowly growing in her belly had the same emotions as her.
She was also very uncomfortable, in great pain and entanglement. This feeling had been tormenting her since she made this decision. What mother would have the heart to hurt her child, even if it was an unborn child?
But Xie Yun was not only a mother, she was also a doctor. Even if this child was still unborn, it was still a life. She was also in pain.
But judging from the current situation, even if the child is born, it may only pass on one's own pain to the child, and instead provide the child with an unhealthy and unhappy growth environment.
And judging from what Yan Huinan had just said, he had indeed never trusted Xie Yun from the beginning. Perhaps he had overturned his doubts before, but once the seeds of doubt were buried, as long as there was a little water to nourish them, they would grow.
They were forcing things between them, so how could there be any result?
It is better to cut losses in time and live in peace. Let Yan Huinan take his Yangguan Road and she take hers, and they should not have any contact in this life.
"Yan Huinan, we're...even now." Xie Yun watched Yan Huinan's expression change from shock to confusion and then to pain and despair. She thought it would be better to let each other go, so she continued, "If you never knew about the existence of this child..."
Yan Huinan walked up to her and questioned her desperately: "What if I didn't know about the existence of this child? You just did it cleanly and then left cleanly, right? Xie Yun——"
He took a deep breath, his voice hoarse and choked, "When you did this, did you not think of me at all? Xie Yun, I am also a human being, I will feel distressed. You didn't want a child, didn't want me to know that you had a child, but all this happened, and God wanted me to know--"
Xie Yun's heart was tightly knitted together. "Why so many coincidences? Because no one welcomes it at all! Is there love between us? Yan Huinan, have you forgotten what you just said?"
Yan Huinan's voice unconsciously grew louder: "Have you ever thought that this is destined by heaven?! Heaven wants us to be together, so it sent a child. You don't love me, and you won't stay for me. But won't you be soft-hearted for this child? Xie Yun, you are not such a heartless person..."
Xie Yun's weakness was exposed. She had goals and firm beliefs. But she was human, soft-hearted, and knew how to love. She couldn't help but shake her head, "You're crazy... You..."
But before she could finish her words, Yan Huinan took the opportunity to pull her over and kiss her hard, blocking her mouth as she tried to speak. Xie Yun kept beating Yan Huinan.
After a long time, Xie Yun was kissed until she was a little exhausted, and Yan Huinan let her go, but he still held her in his arms.
His hot big hand stroked Xie Yun's waist and slowly moved to her lower abdomen, feeling the little life there that belonged to him and Xie Yun.
He buried his head in the crook of Xie Yun's neck, his heart already broken and shattered beyond recognition. "Yes, I'm crazy. Whatever you say is what it is...Xie Yun, don't abandon me, and don't abandon this child."
"Xie Yun, I have nothing left, so I'm begging you." Yan Huinan's voice was low.
Only then did Xie Yun feel that her neck was wet.
She was stunned.
Yan Huinan kept whispering as if in a trance, his voice full of pleading: "I will learn how to love you, how to love our child. I will not let hatred affect it."
Xie Yun was silent for a while, "...Do you think this is possible?"
Yan Huinan hugged her greedily, his voice firm: "Yes, I will do it."
-
After the unexpected incident on the day of the autumn hunt, all the remaining envoys from Daliang were arrested and imprisoned as spies. Lou Cheng escaped back to Daliang with serious injuries.
War between the two countries is inevitable.
The wound left by the poisonous insect on Yan Huinan has not yet healed. After returning to the general's mansion, Yan Huinan spends almost every day guarding Xie Yun except for training in the parade ground.
He pretended to be calm and read and wrote with her; he washed her hands and cooked for her. At first, he could only make some crude and unpalatable food, but later he could feel that it was getting better and better. When he went to the military training ground, he was worried that Xie Yun would feel bored, so he asked Yue Rong and Lu Lingyu to come and accompany her often. Having someone to chat with her could indeed help Xie Yun forget her troubles for a while and feel better.
There was also Prince Rui. At first, Yan Huinan did not allow Prince Rui to come, fearing that he would disturb Xie Yun's rest. But later, Xie Yun said that she was willing to teach him sign language, so Yan Huinan did not stop him anymore. Instead, he accompanied Xie Yun to teach Prince Rui. Xie Yun taught him sign language, and Yan Huinan taught him martial arts.
Sometimes, even at night, when Yan Huinan hugged Xie Yun to sleep, he would fantasize that their child would be very cute and smart. Xie Yun would teach it literature and medicine, and Yan Huinan would teach it martial arts and military tactics... Whatever it wanted or wanted to learn, Yan Huinan was willing to give it.
Xie Yun just closed her eyes and ignored him.
She felt that he was getting crazier and crazier, always doing these whitewashing things and dreaming these whitewashing dreams.
This year's autumn is particularly bleak, the trees are withered, and people are thinner.
Sometimes Xie Yun lay on the bed. She was not asleep, but she could hear Yan Huinan's suppressed cough outside.
Xie Yun tried to ignore all of this, but in the quiet of the night, no matter how hard she tried to hold it in, the pain still spilled out. Countless times, Xie Yun wanted to tell Yan Huinan that this was completely meaningless.
But she changed her mind and said that Yan Huinan would not give up.
So she would forcefully say to Yan Huinan in the outer room, "You're disturbing me."
At this time, Yan Huinan would go out in a panic so that his noisy coughing would no longer be heard.
The moonlight fell on Xie Yun's body, her waist was deeply concave, soft and beautiful. But her tears would occasionally wet the corners of her eyes.
Heaven has no pity on the world, and people are separated from each other and share the waning moon.
-
A month later, as expected, Daliang sent a declaration of war. At that time, the Daliang emperor's health was deteriorating, so this war was most likely caused by Lou Cheng.
No one had noticed during the autumn hunt that Yan Huinan hadn't fully recovered, but somehow the news had leaked out. Regardless, this battle was inevitable.
What Song Hongxuan was most worried about was Yan Huinan's health. If the soldiers found out, the morale of the army would definitely be affected.
Before the army set out, in order to boost morale and express his determination to win to Daliang, Song Hongxuan resolutely decided to lead the army in person and go to Wushan with Yan Huinan.
Lord Yan was buried in Qionggu Gorge during the Wushan stop.
Therefore, in this battle, Yan Huinan will never retreat and will definitely win.
Before leaving, Yan Huinan sent Xie Yun to Prince Yu's residence, where Princess Yu would take care of her. Yan Huinan treated Princess Yu like his own mother, and only when she took care of Xie Yun could he feel at ease.
When the princess learned that Xie Yun was pregnant, she was very surprised. Her expression was filled with joy and a little worry, because she had lost her own child and had never taken care of a pregnant woman or a child.
She asked, "Do you want to go in and see her?"
The princess was talking about Xie Yun.
At this time, the army had already assembled outside the capital, waiting for Yan Huinan to set off.
Yan Huinan took a deep look into the palace, then shook his head with regret. He knew Xie Yun didn't want to see her. "No, I won't go. I'll come pick her up when I return victorious."
The princess truly treated Yan Huinan as her own child. She had watched this child grow up to what he is today. Every time Yan Huinan went to the battlefield, she was always worried.
Her eyes couldn't help but become moist, and she held Yan Huinan's hand tightly, not wanting to let go.
Yan Huinan took one last look inside the palace, but saw nothing. He mounted his horse, the sound of horse hooves echoing through the empty alley, each one piercing his ears.
Xie Yun sat in the yard until the sound could no longer be heard.
Her belly is now slightly bulging, showing the beginning signs of pregnancy.
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The author has something to say: It's almost here, but this is not the crematorium yet. Please be patient and wait.
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