Chapter 9: The past is dark and cannot be retrieved (1) How did the eldest princess die...
After Yan Huinan returned to court, Xie Yun breathed a sigh of relief. When he was around, she felt as if countless layers of gauze were pressing down on her, barely perceptible, yet making it increasingly difficult for her to breathe.
Frost and Snow Courtyard was a courtyard in the northwest corner of the General's Mansion, the farthest from Quchuan Courtyard. She didn't have the leisure to go back to her old house and reminisce about anything. After all, there was nothing for her to reminisce about in this mansion.
She had many cherished memories of the Marquis's or Princess's mansions of the past. She didn't deny that those were rare happy times for her.
"Si Wen, where is the flying mirror?" Xie Yun asked directly.
Si Wen shook his head, "Madam, you know I won't tell you."
Xie Yun naturally knew how loyal Si Wen was to Yan Huinan, so she just tried it out casually. She would have to find another way to rescue Fei Jing later.
Now that she had fallen into Yan Huinan's hands, her original plan had to be temporarily overturned. Perhaps she could try to contact her brother Xie Run.
She originally thought that the two siblings would never meet again, but now that Lou Cheng already knew that she was taken away by Yan Huinan, she no longer had to worry about Lou Cheng causing trouble for her, nor did she have to worry about Yan Huinan doing anything bad to Xie Run.
After all, there is still a long border between the two countries, separating them from each other.
"I want to go out for a walk." Xie Yun was confined to Frost and Snow Garden before, but now she has become the general's wife. She should have the permission to go out, right?
Han Zhen said excitedly, "I'll go and get someone to harness the carriage."
Si Wen really didn’t stop it!
Xie Yun was delighted. If she kept a low profile, no one would discover she was General Yan's unlucky new wife, who "didn't live up to her reputation." She planned to go to the pharmacy to pick up some herbs. In her spare time, she could make some high-quality ointments and powders, and some minor poisons for self-defense—all excellent!
In the future, if I secretly put something in Yan Huinan’s food, or give him some medicine in the middle of the night when he is sleeping, and then force him: If you don’t release the flying mirror, I won’t give you the antidote, you can do whatever you want!
Fei Jing was rescued! It was really effortless!
Thinking of this, she rekindled new hope.
"Ma'am, be careful!"
She was lost in her own imagination when Si Wen suddenly called out to remind her, but it was too late. Xie Yun's hair had been caught on the fork of a dead tree at the entrance to Quchuan Garden. The pastel jade orchid hairpin on her hair had also been removed.
When Xie Yun entered the door yesterday, someone carefully cleared the way for her, so she didn't notice this place.
When she lowered her head, the jade hairpin had broken into pieces. What a pity, because she thought it was the most beautiful piece of jewelry among the servants' collection.
Han Zhen squatted down in pain, his heart shattered along with the hairpin. He said with a sad face, "Ah? It's broken into pieces and can't be put back together. This damn tree fork!"
"This branch has torn several of the general's clothes. I should have reminded you earlier."
Xie Yun pushed aside the branches, feeling more positive. "No problem. I'll clean this place up when I have time and plant some other fruit trees that won't get in the way."
But Yan Huinan had once been a pampered young man, living a life of luxury and wealth. Everything he ate and cooked had to be the finest. He was a picky eater, refusing to touch anything he found unpalatable. He could even find fault with the meals prepared by the palace kitchens. When they were little, she always said he was lucky to have been born into a wealthy family, otherwise he would have died.
The yard he used to live in had to be meticulously repaired and maintained. There were many kinds of fruit trees planted in the yard, providing food all year round: mulberries in April, cherries in May, loquats in June, and watermelons all summer long.
Now, even many of his clothes were torn and he didn't even ask anyone to fix them.
Xie Yun looked at the tree for a few seconds, said nothing more, and went straight out.
When she was going out, she happened to see a maid passing by with today's laundry. Xie Yun noticed that Yan Huinan's clothes from yesterday were all wet.
"What did the General do last night?" If he was in the palace or handling official business outside, how could he be soaking wet? She also noticed that Yan Huinan's court robes and another set of casual clothes from yesterday were soaking wet, even dripping. What could have gotten so wet?
Xie Yun asked in a different way, "I just want to know what could be so urgent that it would leave your newlywed wife alone in the empty room on her wedding night." As she spoke, she pretended to wipe away a few tears.
Si Wen had been clever since childhood, but Xie Yun knew him best: he was just a clever and thoughtful old-fashioned person, now a big old-fashioned person. But he knew nothing about women's complicated little thoughts.
Si Wen was initially very embarrassed, hesitating and not knowing how to answer, and even planned to play dead and simply ignore Xie Yun's question. But after Xie Yun changed her tone, he really couldn't tell what Xie Yun's attitude was towards his master, Yan Huinan.
This is all because Xie Yun has been eccentric since she was a child, and all the personal guards around Yan Huinan have been fooled by her.
Seeing him waver, Xie Yun intensified her anger. "I know you all don't regard me as your master, but you simply dare not disobey your general. But... Si Wen, I'm just a woman, what can I do? I just want to know where my husband went on our wedding night. What if I'm abandoned right after I get married... I'd better end my life sooner rather than later! To save myself the bitterness."
Her few words of compromise and the few crystal tears that fell from her beautiful eyes really frightened the maids who were doing laundry, Han Zhen and Si Wen, and everyone was filled with surprise.
No wonder the general was determined to marry this lady, even at the risk of public disapproval. Was there a hidden reason behind this? Who would have thought that Xie Yun was deeply in love with Yan Huinan?
Si Wen dismissed the others and, after much hesitation, decided to be cautious with Xie Yun. He would rather go against his wife's wishes than be deceived. Xie Yun was too cunning. He could only say to Xie Yun awkwardly, "...I really don't know."
Xie Yun: “…”
These tears were shed in vain!
She shook her sleeves in frustration, wiped her tears, and boarded the carriage. She had originally wanted to find out Yan Huinan's whereabouts, or at least get a glimpse of what he was doing. Just in case it could be useful to her in the future.
Si Wen sighed deeply as he looked at Xie Yun's back, but reluctantly followed. His mind was full of the general's ride to the Yan family's ancestral tomb in the rain last night, where he knelt in the rain for the entire night.
Si Wen was ordered by Yan Huinan to wait for him at the inn. When he returned, Yan Huinan was completely drenched in rain, his face pale. Si Wen was anxious and angry, "General, your wounds haven't healed yet. Even a strong body wouldn't be able to withstand such torment."
If he were to follow Yan back south to attack the enemy during a night of torrential rain, or fight to the death, he wouldn't hesitate or worry about anything. But the general couldn't torture himself like this.
Yan Huinan said expressionlessly, "It's okay."
Si Wen watched him walk alone, and suddenly a wave of grief washed over him. This path, where his parents tragically died, yet he achieved a high position at a young age, was a journey Yan Huinan, then only 13, had painstakingly walked, a long way, all the way to where he is today.
Even though he was soaked to the skin, his spine remained straight and proud. He had never disgraced the Yan family, and he had never let anyone down. The only thing he had done was too hard on himself.
Si Wen didn't know why the general insisted on doing this, but if Xie Yun betrayed the general one day in the future, Si Wen would be Yan Huinan's fastest and most ruthless blade.
-
According to Yan Huinan's instructions, Xie Yun had to go to the ancestral hall and kneel for an hour every afternoon to atone for his sins.
In the entire mansion, only the ancestral hall has been repaired with the most care, with incense and candles burning every day.
Si Wen went to the military camp on business that afternoon, but the mansion was full of old people from the princess's mansion who disliked Xie Yun. Although Si Wen was gone, Yan Huinan's wet nurse was there.
"Madam, the general has ordered that this old servant will keep an eye on you." Yan Huinan's wet nurse was a personal maid in the eldest princess's palace. When Yan was in trouble, only the eldest princess and Yan Huinan, as well as everyone else in the princess's mansion, survived because they were both members of the royal family.
Therefore, Xie Yun had seen this wet nurse, Aunt Huaixiu, before.
Aunt Huaixiu had always thought Xie Yun's behavior was eccentric, vulgar, and ugly, far from being a daughter of a wealthy family, and had always disliked her. Now she hated Xie Yun even more.
After the princess's death, Huaixiu devoted almost all her attention to Yan Huinan. She never married and devoted herself to taking care of Yan Huinan. She treated Yan Huinan like her own child and was overjoyed when she learned that Yan Huinan was going to marry.
She knelt in the ancestral hall and cried in front of the princess's tablet for a whole day and night, telling the princess all the difficulties Yan Huinan had encountered.
But when she learned that the person he was going to marry was Xie Qingyun's daughter, she fainted from anger. She tried to stop him in vain, and now she could only intensify her revenge on Xie Yun.
"At first I didn't understand why the young master wanted to marry you. But now I see his intention. He wants you to be a ghost of the Yan family forever, and to atone for your sins in front of the princess and the marquis for the rest of your life! Killing you would be too easy for you. Only by keeping you by his side can he torture you all the time. Let you experience the suffering that the young master suffered!" Huai Xiu had a cold face, and did not hide the hatred in his eyes.
She was right. Among all the reasons Yan Huinan had for marrying her, this must have been one of them. As Xie Yun entered the solemn ancestral hall and saw the tablets illuminated by the flickering candlelight, memories of the past flooded back into her mind. The princess and the marquis… they were such good people…
She had no intention of getting pregnant.
"But aunt, where are the original cushions in this ancestral hall?" Han Zhen asked. Every time Yan Huinan returned victorious, he would stay in the ancestral hall for a day and a night.
Huaixiu was worried that Yan Huinan might hurt his knees from kneeling, so she selected the rarest and softest materials and personally sewed several cushions to place in the ancestral hall. But today, none of these soft cushions were to be found.
Huai Xiu: "If it's for atonement, you still want to use a cushion? If you don't even have this sincerity, how can you talk about atonement?"
"But... if you kneel every day, your knees will be damaged even if they are made of iron!" Han Zhen argued.
Xie Yun, however, silently raised her hand to stop Han Zhen. She solemnly lit the incense and placed it in front of the tablet, then knelt on the stone floor without a word of complaint.
Huaixiu watched coldly, but a flash of shock flashed through her heart. Xie Yun didn't even offer a single rebuttal. Wasn't she the best at talking back?
But she quickly guessed that Xie Yun had changed like this because she must have known that she had committed a grave sin and felt guilty towards the princess and the marquis!
Humph! A sinner is naturally not worthy of standing in front of the deceased's tablet.
Xie Yun had always had a clear conscience, but the moment she saw the tablets of Yan Huinan's parents, memories of the past came flooding back. She was not an ungrateful person. The princess and the marquis had treated her well in the past, and even if they were strangers, she would repay them with gratitude.
Especially since she was the one who saved her when her life was at stake. She still remembered the look she gave her before she fainted. It was the eldest princess, with tears in her eyes and a faint comforting smile, who said to her, "Yun'er, good girl, we will all be fine."
Then the princess pushed her away with a firm look and ordered people to take her away first.
Xie Yun never felt she had a clear conscience, having caused the destruction of a family by her own father. The blood she shed was warm, but also dirty. She knew it.
The passion flowing in her body allowed Xie Yun to be herself. But she would not deny the dirty and sinful part of her blood. However, she now felt a strong sense of unease in her heart.
The year her father took her to defect to Daliang was November of the Bingshen year.
But she just noticed that the princess's tablet was also erected in November of the Bingshen year.
"Aunt Huaixiu, how did the princess... die?"
After Xie Yun read those words, her heart almost sank to the bottom. She was surrounded by intense fear. What if the princess had done that night to protect her...
Did Yan Huinan know it was because of her? But when she sent the letter to the princess, she had made all the necessary preparations, so it was impossible for anyone to know about it.
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