Chapter 47
Lying comfortably on a rooftop lounge chair, gazing at the starry sky, the city is already asleep at this hour, with only the occasional sound of cars passing by on the road.
"dad."
"Um?"
"What does it feel like when you love your mother?" Jiang Jiawei asked, looking at her swaying toes. "Do you feel as happy as you are now?"
Jiang Weichao, resting his head on his arm, turned to look at his daughter who had asked him the question. He smiled but did not answer immediately. He looked up at the sky as if lost in memories, or as if he was carefully organizing his thoughts, trying to give his soon-to-be-adult child a good answer.
He said, "It's not all happiness."
"The times of pain far outweigh these moments of easy happiness."
Jiang Jiawei was somewhat surprised by this answer and looked at him.
Jiang Weichao slowly said, "I feel angry because your grandmother's preference for boys reminds me of your mother's past experiences. I often worry about whether she has eaten enough and is dressed warmly, whether she will catch a cold in the winter, and whether there will be anyone to take care of her if she gets sick. I also often feel that I am not capable of earning more money to help her reduce her burden, but she still chooses to stay with me, which makes me feel very... guilty. And when she was sick... I didn't find out in time... and take her to get treatment... which makes me feel... very painful..."
He didn't continue, because he couldn't bring himself to say it.
That feeling of being worse than dead was clearly imprinted on my internal organs. I didn't even need to consciously feel it; as long as I was breathing, it never stopped.
Such grief is about loss.
Tears streamed down Jiang Jiawei's face.
A surge of sorrow pulled between the two, an unspoken silence ensued.
Until their respective tides recede.
Jiang Jiawei heard her father say, "The feeling of liking someone is... even if it's painful, you still want to like her, you still like the feeling of liking her." A very soft sigh faded into the wind.
What about you? What do you think liking someone should be like?
Jiang Jiawei didn't expect her father to ask her that question.
She turned her head away, avoiding his gaze.
a long time.
"Like planting a tree."
Jiang Weichao smiled upon hearing this. He looked tenderly at his daughter, as if he had already sensed something, and asked softly, "Then what about your little tree? Has it started to sprout yet?"
Jiang Jiawei did not answer.
A young girl's secrets need to be cherished and allowed to be treasured.
Jiang Weichao sat up and gently patted his daughter's head. "Come on, my little tree. Get a good night's sleep tomorrow, Sunday, so your tree can grow strong and healthy. Otherwise, you won't grow tall if you don't get enough sleep."
At the start of the May Day holiday, Mu Zhengxi went to Hong Kong to prepare for the SAT exam.
The last time he flew with Zeng Yuan was the last time. Mu Zhengxi looked at the clouds outside the window. Strangely, he no longer felt the excitement that kept him awake from the night before, just like when he was a child. This was probably what growing up was all about.
"Your son looks just like you. If I didn't know better, I would have thought you were siblings."
That's what the staff said.
Zeng Yuan returned a faint, polite smile, then glanced back at Mu Zhengxi.
The person, hands in pockets and a few steps behind, yawned repeatedly. His baseball cap covered his messy hair, which had been sleeping all the way. He felt her gaze, glanced at her, and then quickly looked away.
"Don't wander off on your own when you get home. If you need to go out, take the driver with you."
Zeng Yuan turned her head to look at the person next to her but did not answer, it was unclear whether she was listening.
After a pause, she added, "Your Aunt Lily has booked a restaurant for dinner tonight. Change your clothes before you come over."
He emphasized, "Don't be late."
Zeng Yuan took a deep breath, "Mu—"
"knew."
Mu Zhengxi bent down and got into the car, rolling up the window to separate the two of them.
"Mr. Zeng, this way."
Zeng Yuan walked towards the car behind her.
The two cars drove in different directions.
The welcome dinner that evening consisted of hugs, greetings, and the same old routine and conversation: "You've grown taller and more handsome," and so on. Because Aunt Lily had visited the mainland several times and spoke fluent Mandarin, Mu Zhengxi had a fairly good impression of her and treated her with some sincerity.
Besides him and Zeng Yuan, the dinner party tonight also included Aunt Lily and her husband, who were hosting, as well as her daughter and several other people Mu Zhengxi had never met before.
After a few rounds of drinks, he ceased to be the main character at the welcoming banquet, and the adults began to chat about mundane adult topics.
Mu Zhengxi glanced at the phone on the table.
He licked his lips, unconsciously shaking his leg, and then, when Zeng Yuan gave him a warning look, he stood up and said he needed to go to the restroom.
After everyone left, Lily jokingly said to Zeng Yuan, "Yuan, don't be too strict with the kids. Look at Aaron, he's not as lively as he was when he was little. Now that he's grown up, he doesn't like to talk much. Gracie told me, 'Mommy, you have to be democratic. This is a new era, and families should be democratic too.'"
Zeng Yuan smiled and gently stroked the long hair of the girl beside her. "Then I'll ask Gracie for some advice another day, to see how democracy works, okay, Gracie?"
Everyone was amused.
Jiang Jiawei never takes this long to reply to messages; almost ten hours have passed since he got off the plane.
Mu Zhengxi leaned against the corridor wall, peeled off a piece of dead skin from his lip, and hung up the phone halfway through a call because of the sudden sound that pierced his eardrums.
"Aaron".
Seeing his flustered state, the girl apologized profusely, "I'm sorry, did I scare you?"
Mu Zhengxi raised his hand to touch his neck as if to cover up his actions, looked at the person in front of him, and said stiffly, "No."
"You must have been bored inside."
These words silenced Mu Zhengxi, who had originally planned to make up an explanation for why he had been gone for so long. However, out of caution, he added, "It's alright."
They are sparing with words.
The girl stood a step away from him, let out a soft breath, looked up at him and smiled, as if she shared his plight and was forced into social interaction.
But since we're not familiar with each other, it's still so awkward and strange.
This feeling is not much better than staying in the private room. In fact, because there are only two of us, we have to be on high alert and ready to respond at all times. It's better to just go back to the private room and be a decoration.
Mu Zhengxi didn't see the fleeting disappointment in the girl's eyes.
All I heard was the other person's lighthearted tone as they said, "It seems you really don't remember me."
Mu Zhengxi turned his head, somewhat puzzled by this statement.
"Have you forgotten the time we met at Sandra's birthday party last time?"
Sandra, Mu Zhengxi was confused for a moment before he suddenly realized that this was Mu Yashan's English name.
The girl looked at him and then prompted, "You said you spoke Mandarin very well back then."
Mu Zhengxi remembered; there seemed to be a girl like that that day. He recalled uncertainly and said, "Your name is... Jiang Jiawen, right?"
Jiang Jiawen was quite surprised when he said her name, and smiled shyly, looking down, "I didn't expect you to remember my Chinese name."
“Your name… is easy to remember.” Mu Zhengxi smiled and said apologetically, “It’s just that I have a bit of face blindness, sorry.”
Jiang Jiawen tilted her head playfully and replied, "I can tell."
This perfectly timed joke eased the awkwardness.
Mu Zhengxi relaxed his back and leaned back against the wall.
Jiang Jiawen said, "My mom said you might get bored, so she wants me to take you out for a walk. Do you want to go out?"
Mu Zhengxi's phone vibrated, and he immediately pulled it out as a reflex.
My grandpa and I went fishing in the next village, and we just got home. I forgot my phone.
Have you finished dinner?
The person pursed their lips, trying to prevent the corners of their mouth from turning up too obviously, but the smile in their eyes couldn't hide their surprise and joy at that moment.
Still eating, so incredibly boring, I don't know when this will end.
Where to catch fish? In a river or a stream? It can't be the sea, can it?
Jiang Jiawen asked, "Girlfriend?"
"Ah, oh, not my girlfriend." Mu Zhengxi looked up.
This denial is hard to believe.
Jiang Jiawen gave him a knowing look that was understood between people of the same age.
Mu Zhengxi didn't intend to explain further, and politely returned a smile, "Excuse me, what did you just say?"
"My mom asked me to take you shopping. Do you want me to cover for you so you can go straight home first?"
Upon hearing this, Mu Zhengxi perked up and immediately stood up straight. "Really? Okay!"
The two entered the private room, cooperated, grabbed their coats, and escaped together.
After leaving the restaurant, Mu Zhengxi asked, "How are you getting home? Will your driver take you?"
"Wouldn't it give me away if the driver took me?"
"Then I'll take you back. Let's go."
"No need, this is my home." Jiang Jiawen blinked. "But you, do you need me to take you home?"
Mu Zhengxi smiled upon hearing this, "Then be careful on your way home. Come visit me in Hanyang next time you have the chance."
"good."
"Bye-Bye."
"Um...bye-bye."
The boy's figure merged into the crowd across the street. He lowered his head, but one could imagine the upturned corners of his mouth, like a butterfly dancing in the wind.
Jiang Jiawen raised her hand to tuck her wind-blown hair behind her ear and fiddled with her hair, which she had spent three hours getting done that afternoon, in front of the shop windows on the street.
Looks like I can only admire it myself.
The aroma of baking reached Mu Zhengxi's nose, and he looked up to find that he had passed a cafe where the staff were putting freshly baked pineapple buns into the window.
My fingers paused on the keyboard for a long time.
I saw a pineapple bun shop that looked delicious.
Or you could say, "Jiang Jiawei, let me buy you a pineapple bun."
But in the end, nothing was said.
Mu Zhengxi stood at the store entrance for a while and realized that what he really wanted was a door that could do anything.
Is Hong Kong fun?
Not very fun
My mom says the pineapple buns there are delicious, is that true?
Mu Zhengxi canceled the message he was about to send and typed it in again, "Then I'll try it for you."
【OK】
Try making my Hong Kong-style milk tea again!
And that cart noodles too.
Mu Zhengxi pushed open the door to the tea room.
The unsent messages in the drafts folder are:
It's boring to play alone.
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