【Memories】Memorial
The night before the funeral, I was alone in the funeral home's farewell hall.
A huge glass coffin sat in the center of the hall. Zhou Yu lay inside, wearing the dark gray suit I'd chosen for him—the one we had custom-made together after he landed his first major project. He was so thin that the expensive suit looked empty, but his expression was unusually calm since his illness. There was even a faint smile, as if he was simply exhausted and finally able to sleep.
The air was filled with an overly strong smell of white chrysanthemum and disinfectant, which was sweet and cold, making it hard to breathe.
The day's bustle had faded. Business partners and subordinates, dressed in suits and meticulously made-up, came and went with expressions of tacit sorrow, leaving behind countless wreaths and mourning couplets with high-sounding phrases like "Heaven is jealous of his talent" and "A fallen star in the business world." They discussed his business acumen, his decisiveness, and the future of the vast empire he left behind.
No one mentioned the boy who would doze off in the library, who would feel upset about ruining a sketch, and who would hold my hand tightly with his cold hands on winter nights.
He seemed to be split into two people. One was left here, lying quietly; the other was taken away by the sighs and discussions, becoming a symbol, a legend.
I rejected everyone's offer to stay with him overnight. At this moment, I just wanted to be alone with him for a while. This was the last time we could be alone, without anyone interrupting us.
The night watch staff stood far away at the door. The lights were dimmed, with only a few eternal lamps emitting a faint and soft glow, outlining his pale and clear outline.
I pulled a chair and sat beside the glass coffin. My fingers subconsciously traced the lines of his eyebrows, nose, and lips through the cold glass. I had painted this face countless times, familiar with every subtle undulation and play of light and shadow. Now, all that remained was a stiff, cold perfection.
"They're all gone," I whispered. My voice was unusually clear in the empty hall, but was quickly swallowed by the silence. "Now, we're the only ones left."
"There are so many people here today. You're probably annoyed by the noise, right? Mr. Li is still discussing that merger deal you didn't sign with Mr. Wang, saying it's a shame... You see, in the end, they're still concerned about your 'value'."
As I spoke, I smiled softly, but tears fell without warning, hitting the glass and leaving a small blurry stain.
I pulled the ginkgo leaf necklace from my pocket. The silver chain gleamed faintly in the dim light. I clutched it tightly in my hand, the cold metal poking at my palm with a slight, insignificant pain.
"I've seen the 'family fortune' you left me... It's a lot, more than I can spend in this lifetime, or even the next..." My voice began to choke, "You fool... Who wants all this... Who cares about this..."
"I would rather you were just an ordinary person...we squeezed into a small rented house...argued about water and electricity bills every day...as long as you were still here...as long as you could still...still call me a 'fool' when I couldn't draw..."
My emotions suddenly burst forth. I leaned against the cold glass, my shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Days of pent-up grief, helplessness, and resentment for his focus on work during his final days all melted away like boiling liquid, surging outward.
"Why didn't you look at me more... Why didn't you spend more time with me... During those last few days... All you did was work... work... Zhou Yu... You bastard..."
I cried until I was exhausted, my voice was hoarse, and only silent sobs were left.
Silence fell once again. Only the faint sound of passing vehicles could be heard in the distance, making the place even more dead silent.
I slowly raised my head and wiped the tears from my face with my sleeve. My vision became clear again, and his peaceful sleeping face came into view again.
All the grievances and complaints suddenly lost their weight.
I suddenly remembered his final days. Even when he was ravaged by illness and pain, the deep worry and reluctance in his eyes when he looked at me was unbearable. He wasn't chasing fame or fortune; he was burning his last rays of light to pave what he believed to be the safest escape route for me.
He'd never been that cold, upstart businessman. He'd always been the boy who'd bump into me at the end of the hallway and apologize, his ears red. It was just that the way he loved me had become so heavy, so silent, so... undeniable.
"I'm sorry..." I murmured, my fingers brushing against the glass, as if I could touch his cold cheek, "I shouldn't blame you... I know... I know you did it for me..."
"It's just... there will never be anyone like you again..."
There will never be anyone who will hand me a towel while looking at me with disgust when I am covered in paint; there will never be anyone who will complain that my paintings are abstract and difficult to understand, but will secretly take pictures of them and set them as their phone screensaver; there will never be anyone who will love me in that clumsy way of wanting to move the whole world to me.
It was late at night. The sky in the distance was a little dark blue, indicating that dawn was coming.
The funeral is in a few hours.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my breathing. I carefully and solemnly placed the ginkgo leaf necklace back around my neck. The metal felt briefly cool against my skin, then warmed by my body heat.
I stood up and gave him one last, deep look, as if I wanted to engrave his appearance at that moment into my memory forever.
"Good night, Zhou Yu."
I said softly, then turned around and walked out of the farewell hall step by step.
The world behind him was silent, while the dawn light ahead was about to illuminate a life without him.
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