Chapter 113 Questioning
Shen Xingzhi narrowed his eyes, a smile on his lips. He leaned forward slightly, a hint of tenderness hidden in the depths of his subtle and unfathomable gaze, which focused intently on Ren Limeng.
"I'm not inexplicable."
Ren Limeng slowly shook her head and looked at the canal flowing beside Shen Xingzhi, with some unspeakable silence in her eyes.
"I was too young at the time, and I couldn't see straight ahead on many things. I ended up in a dead end. I always felt that I wasn't free, so I changed my college entrance exam application directly, thinking that I should make a difference for myself."
Those reckless and carefree years were filled with the youthful carefreeness of a young man. When Ren Limeng thought about it now, she couldn't help but feel a hint of unspeakable envy in her tone.
"I chose my major in college pretty randomly, practically picking it up blindly. If... I hadn't met you, I probably would have missed out on our club, let alone minoring in hosting. I might have just listened to my family's arrangements after graduation and returned to perform Huangmei Opera, just like Li Chuyue and Han Tai, as if I had just been rebellious for a few years."
A few words in a calm and relaxed manner summed up the countless sleepless nights she had experienced. Ren Limeng casually leaned her arms on the bridge railing, her eyes sweeping across the clear water under the bridge, as if she could see the silent flow of years and the quiet changes of time through the calm river water in her eyes.
“Chen Xingzhi, even though I don’t want to admit it, you did change my life back then. The answer I want to ask now has nothing to do with the recording, it’s just... it’s a pity.”
Ren Limeng sighed softly. The river was calm and peaceful, reflecting the stars in the night sky.
Ren Limeng cannot let go of many things that happened in the past, some of which are not even related to love. Just like yesterday afternoon at the Meixiang Theater, Ren Limeng actually noticed some familiar faces watching the recording scene.
Those Huangmei Opera actors whom she used to call by name, or even who she had been with day and night, would always look at her with some regret unconsciously. Such a look of regret was filled with real feelings. Putting aside personal feelings, if Ren Limeng faced Shen Xingzhi's eyes at this moment, she would also unconsciously have such a look.
This complex mix of empathy and emotion is difficult to describe, but it is profound enough that even someone as calm as Ren Limeng cannot ignore it.
For a while, Ren Limeng just wanted to avoid Chen Xingzhi, but now that she has found that she cannot avoid him, whether based on reason or emotion, from the moment she opened her mouth, Ren Limeng has made up her mind not to hide.
She wants to get to the bottom of things, face the past, and then bravely move forward.
She needed to clarify the vague past and put all the grudges behind her.
"Is this answer still important to you?"
After a long time, Shen Xingzhi finally spoke softly. He slowly walked to Ren Limeng's side, and his eyes followed Ren Limeng's line of sight and fell on the shimmering river surface.
A breeze blew by, and their reflections intertwined before his eyes. The water ripples gently and gradually became blurred.
Shen Xingzhi's repeated questions were filled with an indescribable stubbornness, as if he was suffering from not knowing how to start speaking.
What he wanted to ask more was perhaps her current attitude. Are those seemingly disappeared feelings still there?
......Does it still matter?
Chen Xingzhi pursed his lips tightly, his long eyelashes trembling in the wind, as if to hide the turmoil in his heart. He turned his head quietly to look at Ren Limeng, his hands unconsciously clenched on the cold stone surface, his knuckles unconsciously turning white from the force.
"If it's not important, why would I ask?"
Sensing Shen Xingzhi's gaze, Ren Limeng did not turn her head. She looked straight ahead, still staring at the winding water under the stone bridge. Faint ripples spread out in circles on the river surface. The breeze gradually caressed her cheeks along the river, stirring her heartstrings.
Actually... maybe it's not that important.
Maybe she was just curious. Isn't it normal for an ordinary person like her to be curious about the past of a big star like Shen Xingzhi?
What's more, he had been her role model, and her questioning was only to make herself feel more at ease.
The answer is not that important, but she couldn't help it at the moment and she just wanted to know.
Ren Limeng's words tonight were very sincere, and she didn't say a word to lie to Shen Xingzhi. When she was in college, she did choose to be the host in order to pursue Shen Xingzhi.
But just like her more than ten years of acting career, she has been able to persist in hosting for so many years, which naturally shows that she has her own pursuits and passions.
How could she still be doing this for Shen Xingzhi now?
She has long been doing it only for herself.
Regardless of anyone or anything, Ren Limeng really enjoys her current career. She likes the way she handles the microphone with ease, the way she stays calm in front of the audience, and the way she smiles and talks at the camera...
But these have nothing to do with Shen Xingzhi.
They were just guest colleagues on a variety show, and Chen Xingzhi didn't need to know what she was thinking.
As for her questioning...
Ren Limeng just wanted an answer from Chen Xingzhi that should have been explained long ago. Maybe that was the reason he owed her when he divorced her many years ago.
"Chen Xingzhi, the timing is too coincidental. Is your incident related to your mother?"
Ren Limeng didn't beat around the bush anymore. She didn't want to waste any more time. Every minute between recordings was precious. Looking at her calm eyes reflected in the river, Ren Limeng finally turned around and looked at Shen Xingzhi steadily.
"...Why do you ask?"
Shen Xingzhi suddenly avoided Ren Limeng's eyes. He looked up at the boundless night sky in front of him. The stars were sparse, dark, deep and vast.
“Chen Xingzhi, you didn’t beat around the bush before, the entertainment industry has really changed you a lot!”
Not only in the entertainment industry, Ren Limeng has also learned to be patient and play Tai Chi with others after work. This is a necessary quality for her as a host. However, she never expected that there would be such a day. She doesn't want to beat around the bush, beat around the bush, or be vague with others.
Ren Limeng's bright eyes were like the brightest stars in the night sky, flashing a blazing light that Shen Xingzhi could not ignore.
It was a long, long time, so long that Ren Limeng could not even feel the passage of time around her. She almost couldn't maintain her courageous persistence. Ren Limeng looked at Shen Xingzhi's eyes, which were as deep as the silent night sky, without blinking.
Ren Limeng put away all her smiles and just stared at Shen Xingzhi seriously and intently, waiting for an answer stubbornly and obstinately.
The silent waiting was like the backstage of the graduation party that year, when she suddenly thought of the idea and bravely blurted out "get married". The difference was that at this moment, no matter how quiet the surroundings were, no matter how deep Chen Xingzhi's eyes were, Ren Limeng no longer had a trace of uneasiness in her heart, and she no longer secretly prayed for fate to be kind to her.
She no longer needs to rely on God's mercy.
Ren Limeng raised her head, her bright eyes were like gems carefully polished by time, warm and bright. Her seemingly gentle and restrained gaze actually contained a firmness that should not be underestimated.
Finally, Shen Xingzhi pulled the corner of his mouth lightly and cast his gaze towards the lonely night sky in front of him again.
"My mother passed away on June 7th, before my debut."
Shen Xingzhi opened his lips slightly, and his low voice was as light as the breeze. It passed by in a flash, but it was as if an invisible hand had grabbed Ren Limeng's heart in an instant, making her eyes unable to hide the shock.
"The day after our wedding?"
Ren Limeng's body suddenly stiffened, and she almost couldn't hold back her voice in surprise. There was no trace of the basic composure of a host in her tone anymore. It was as if she was swept by a sudden storm, and her heart was suddenly filled with turbulent waves.
She couldn't help but be shocked!
Shen Xingzhi debuted in August, more than two months, how could there be no news at all?
It’s terrifying when you think about it!
Ren Limeng has been struggling for many years and has seen some absurd things. She has long lost the innocence and purity of a twenty-year-old. She doesn't even need Shen Xingzhi to say much. Just the hints revealed in his words are enough to make many possibilities emerge in her mind.
And there is no single way to connect all the problems in an optimistic way.
Even if Ren Limeng hadn't paid attention to Chen Xingzhi's news during that period, it would have been impossible for her to not hear about the death of a famous host like Chen Xingzhi's mother Qiu Quan. It was obviously after Chen Xingzhi made his debut that the news of Qiu Quan's death became widespread!
She remembers the order very clearly!
What's more, she and Shen Xingzhi got married in a flash on June 6, the day after the graduation party. At that time, Ren Limeng thought it was a godsend opportunity. Even the wedding date that she wanted to finalize quickly turned out to be ridiculously smooth. June 6 sounded like a sign that everything would go smoothly for them after marriage.
But now when I think about it, there is only bitter silence.
So cruel!
How did Shen Xingzhi survive at that time?
What about her?
In addition to happily getting married, she kept "harassing" him during the seventh day of his mother's death. She was overwhelmed by the joy of the newlywed marriage and sent messages happily every day. Did she notice that something was wrong with Chen Xingzhi?
Even when he suddenly proposed divorce, she just put on a smile. She was delayed by going abroad, and when she came back, it was as if everything was over, as if this flash marriage and divorce full of worries was just a dream, and when she woke up, life went on.
How could her senior Xingzhi still be the same after everything he had been through?
It was certainly Shen Xingzhi's fault for the sudden divorce, but what about her?
She missed too much back then.
Looking back at everything now, the 22-year-old Shen Xingzhi should have tried his best, but he chose to face all the storms alone and withstand all the pressure and complaints.
Shen Xingzhi's gentle voice was like a heavy bomb, stirring up a thousand waves in Ren Limeng's heart.
Her eyes, which had frozen in an instant, became even brighter in the moonlight. With tears quietly accumulating, Ren Li Meng's long eyelashes trembled frequently. She lowered her head slightly, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes tightly, trying to lock the surging tears in her eye sockets.
But she could force back the tears, and when she opened her eyes, her already red eye sockets were still enough to reveal Ren Limeng's current restlessness.
"......sorry."
She spoke almost subconsciously, with forced calmness, Ren Limeng took a deep breath, finally raised her head, and forced herself to stay calm, but her frown did not completely relax.
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