Chapter 125 Decision
For the first time, Ren Limeng learned to compromise. Even though there were too many emotions intertwined in her heart, Ren Limeng had to admit that her parents were her closest family. All the contradictions and estrangements, helplessness and struggles were ultimately covered in a sigh called "home".
Home is like a colorful and mottled painting, in which love and pain are freely spread, entangled with each other, and intertwined to create complex and subtle emotions.
Ren Limeng and her mother Wu Murong once again reached a tacit harmony. Their peaceful daily interactions seemed as if everything had broken out and was over after being talked out. Only every time she opened the wardrobe, the new costume quietly placed in the dustproof storage bag reminded Ren Limeng of the question that still could not be resolved.
Was Huangmei Opera her choice or her parents' decision?
Who is in charge of her life?
This hidden thought continued until after the college entrance examination. The unexpectedly good results did not disappoint all the fatigue and pain of Ren Limeng's last year. Ren Limeng's cultural subject scores refreshed the best ranking of the entire drama school in the province. She achieved her highest score and also created history for the drama school.
Everyone thought that everything was settled. On the first day of the college entrance examination application system, Ren Limeng and her parents filled out the application in less than ten minutes. Her first-place professional ranking in the art examination and her academic scores that were almost 200 points higher than the first-class score line made it almost a foregone conclusion that she would be the first choice of the drama school.
"Li Meng, you've worked hard this year. The drama academy is in the capital, and this is your first time away from home. You must be careful when you go. Your admission to the drama academy has finally fulfilled our childhood regrets. My daughter is amazing!"
On the penultimate night before the volunteer application system was closed, Ren Shunan returned home after a busy day. As soon as he entered the door, he saw Ren Limeng sitting on the balcony looking a little depressed. He put his things on the shoe cabinet and walked over to the wooden chair next to Ren Limeng and sat down.
Following Ren Limeng's line of sight, Ren Shunan could only see the somewhat dark night sky and the brightly lit Meixiang Theater in the distance.
Ren Shunan guessed that his daughter was about to leave home for school for the first time, so he couldn't help but think too much and feel depressed. Although he and Wu Murong were reluctant to let Ren Limeng go, they also looked forward to Ren Limeng's success in drama university.
The China Academy of Chinese Opera is the highest institution in the world of Chinese opera and has trained countless famous actors and actresses. When they were young, they all aspired to study at the China Academy of Chinese Opera, but unfortunately they were not admitted due to fate. Now that Ren Limeng can fulfill their dreams, Ren Shunan and Wu Murong are very pleased.
"Dad, you're back. Will my mom be back soon?"
"She's still busy with her new play that will be performed by Huang Meizhou."
"That's good. I can't quite grasp the emotional dynamics of the scene she assigned me today, 'Meng Lijun.' I'm afraid I'll get scolded again during the inspection later."
Although the college entrance examination is over, the acting has just begun. After filling in the application form, Wu Murong was afraid that Ren Limeng would slack off and be idle. In addition, she had no time to practice acting hard in the few months before the college entrance examination. In order to ensure that Ren Limeng's basic skills would not regress when school started in September, Wu Murong assigned Ren Limeng a series of practice tasks every day. Ren Limeng became more and more bored with practice these days.
Although the college entrance examination was over, she felt that her life was no different. Without the flavor of cultural subjects, she was thinking about Huangmei Opera all day long, one after another, with no end in sight.
Ren Limeng likes the feeling of being immersed in a role, which allows her to experience completely different and rich lives and understand the ancient and modern stories that are full of mixed emotions, but the premise for every satisfying performance is herself.
She was increasingly unable to find herself, as if she was trapped in the roles assigned by her mother and had to rush through exercises again and again.
"Don't worry, Daddy's got you covered. If you're too tired, just take a couple of days off. I'll take care of your mom!"
Ren Shunan put his arm around Ren Limeng's shoulders and patted her gently, a hint of worry flashing in his eyes. "Why don't you make an appointment with Yan Fangshu, Li Chuyue and your friends to go on a trip and have some fun. I'll reimburse you from my treasury."
"Forget it. It's not easy for you to save some money without my mother's knowledge. Besides, Fangfang has an appointment with someone else."
Since the selection of "Peach Blossom Fan" last year, Ren Limeng has not received her monthly pocket money. Wu Murong hopes to control the money supply and force Ren Limeng to surrender, but Ren Limeng still argues and argues even though her pockets are empty, with the main point being "poverty and humbleness cannot change me."
"Dad, I...had a falling out with Li Chuyue."
Ren Limeng curled up her legs on the wooden lounge chair. The brightest part of her view was the huge sign of Meixiang Theater shining brightly.
"Because of the tryouts?"
Ren Shunan was slightly stunned, noticing the somewhat lost look in Ren Limeng's eyes. He felt as if he understood some of his daughter's unspeakable thoughts, and also understood why his daughter had been out of shape for some time.
"Li Meng, we've always taught you that there are wins and losses in competitions, and that things like being recommended for admission... are in the past. We don't need to put too much pressure on ourselves about many things. We just need to believe in ourselves. Look, now you've been admitted to the China Academy of Drama with the highest score in your major. Don't overthink it. If you don't dwell on it, you won't be afraid."
Naturally, he would not make a helpless move of running away from the battlefield. Ren Shunan did not mention the last sentence. His voice was gentle and calm, but with a firm strength.
"Dad, Li Chuyue and I...there's something complicated between us. It's not because I lost the tryouts, but I don't know how to explain it to you now, but...I tried my best, but it just didn't go as planned."
For a moment, Ren Limeng wanted to confess everything, but she was too young. She couldn't estimate the impact of bringing up the past at this moment. Would it affect the result that had already been settled?
Although the selection competition was Li Chuyue's problem, Li Chuyue was able to finally get the admission quota thanks to her role in "Peach Blossom Fan". This was Li Chuyue's hard work, and the selection competition was just a stepping stone.
Since Ren Limeng had decided to take responsibility for everything and end her friendship with Li Chuyue, she hesitated for a while and still did not explain the whole story to her father. She spoke vaguely and looked at her father Ren Shunan with sincere eyes.
"Okay, okay, Li Meng, let's just move on."
Ren Shunan answered repeatedly like coaxing a child. Ren Limeng could easily see the indifference in Ren Shunan's eyes. She swallowed all the words in the end after a while.
Looking forward?
If she believed in herself without any hesitation as her father said, then... did she want to go to the China Theatre Academy?
Do you want to choose Huangmei Opera?
This question has been lingering in Ren Limeng's heart for too long, questioning her heart all the time. Ren Limeng pursed her lips and lay back. Through the balcony glass, she saw the familiar streets in front of her. She had seen them for too many years. Perhaps what she hoped for was not this narrow world.
"Dad, what do you think I'll be doing in the future? For example...what will I be like in five years, ten years, fifteen years?"
Ren Limeng opened her lips slightly, her voice as light as a feather, carrying a hint of doubt as ethereal as morning mist, and lingering with a bit of dreamlike confusion, quietly disappearing into the boundless night.
"Become an excellent Huangmei Opera actor!"
Ren Shunan answered without thinking. He slowly touched Ren Limeng's head and turned his gaze from Ren Limeng to the window.
"Li Meng, look over there. You've been to the Meixiang Theater countless times as an audience member. The three major theater troupes also perform there most frequently. Mom and Dad hope that in five, ten, or fifteen years, you'll be starring in your own play in the theater's largest Anxiang Hall."
Year after year, play after play, nothing changes.
Ren Limeng was stunned by the thought that suddenly popped up in her mind. Her father's words were full of strong ambition and aspirations, but her first reaction... why was there no excitement at all?
Ren Shunan didn't notice the strange look in Ren Limeng's eyes. He continued, "Your mother always talks about hoping you can create a new school of Huangmei Opera. In fact, our greatest wish is that you return home after graduation and join one of the three major troupes, or apply for a place on the Meixiang Theater staff, and live a healthy and happy life every day. Limeng, don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's just that you've shown such great talent in Huangmei Opera over the years that we unconsciously have higher expectations."
Ren Shunan hopes that Ren Limeng will be more relaxed. He can feel the changes in Ren Limeng over the past year, and can also feel the increasing friction between mother and daughter. All he can do is to comfort both sides and ease the relationship.
"Dad, you have already planned my future path?"
Ren Limeng's smile was a little bitter. She unconsciously pinched the handle of the recliner. The cold and hard touch seemed to touch her heart directly.
"Joining the Meixiang Theatre and performing for the rest of my life is no different from the past few years. So... what's the point of growing up?"
She is still a puppet of her parents. What she wants... is this a life with a predictable end?
"Li Meng, practicing opera is very hard, but only those who endure the most hardships can become the best. This is something you can't avoid. You've been under a lot of pressure recently and have been thinking too much. Daddy understands, but just let Daddy tell you and do it. You're still too young to worry about many things. Don't worry about it."
Ren Shunan thought that Ren Limeng felt that the practice was too hard and was afraid that she would not be able to become a good actor. His voice of comfort and encouragement was still soft and gentle, but to Ren Limeng's ears, it was no different from her mother's harsh words, "We are doing this for your own good."
A trace of ripples flashed across Ren Limeng's calm eyes. As she listened to Ren Shunan's words, the glimmer in her eyes gradually dimmed, and her eyes were filled with endless darkness, with an indescribable loneliness.
"Dad, do you think so too?"
"certainly."
Although she had known for a long time that her parents had the same idea, she could still feel the self-righteousness in her father's words. At this moment, Ren Limeng curled up the corners of her lips in disappointment, looked up at the thick darkness in the night sky, and the idea that she had struggled for for a long time suddenly became the final decision.
This time, she only believed in herself. Even if the road ahead was dark, Ren Limeng decided to choose her own path. This was her life, so why bother? She wanted to be the master of her own destiny.
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