Chapter 146 Li Meng, look at me...
For a moment, the heat that came towards her seemed to drown Ren Limeng. Ren Limeng could not ignore the obvious affection in Chen Xingzhi's eyes. Her heart seemed to be fighting with two villains with completely different attitudes. The joints that were secretly clenched had already turned white, but even the stiff pain could not make her completely indifferent.
Why does she want to cry so much?
It's just a confession.
She is already outstanding and beautiful, so it is normal for her to be liked. Just looking at today's confession, Shen Xingzhi is not the first one to do so. No matter whether the feelings are sincere or false, she will not accept them. What is there to be surprised about the obvious result? Why are the tears that welled up in her heart so complicated?
It's just that she once liked him, so he looks a little special.
Just a few...
Ren Limeng's lips moved again and again. She knew very well that a direct and decisive rejection was the most sensible thing to do at the moment. Just like what she said at the beginning of last Monday, she and Shen Xingzhi had no agreement that neither of them would "make the fake thing real".
At this moment, she only needed to pretend to smile brightly and tease Shen Xingzhi about why he confessed in a joking manner, so as to relax the atmosphere and fool around with the topic again.
In other words, leave them both an inch of room.
Almost as soon as she heard Shen Xingzhi's words, Ren Limeng's mind immediately emerged with the most appropriate approach for her at the moment - to resolve the deadlock with high emotional intelligence that shows her attitude.
Refusal requires proper manners and methods. Putting aside the shackles of "Senior Xingzhi", Ren Limeng must consider tomorrow's recording. Chen Xingzhi will still be her captain whom she sees every day. Now, Chen Xingzhi suddenly reveals his cards directly. She can't let the top captain lose face with a single resolute word, but she can't keep Chen Xingzhi hanging either.
Ren Limeng smiled bitterly in her heart.
This was obviously not a difficult situation. She had always been good at speaking. Why did a simple decision make her throat seem to be choked by something, making her unable to make a sound?
Ren Limeng's brows frowned unconsciously, her nails dug deep into her palms, but she didn't feel any pain. She sighed, and the words on her lips turned into, "Chen Xingzhi, what do you like about me?"
She…used to like Chen Xingzhi so much, so she asked a few more questions, even if it was for her past self.
When she found that she could not help asking questions unexpectedly, Ren Limeng comforted herself in a panic, trying to make all the impulses consistent with the same explanation as she gave to Guan He's confession.
Ren Limeng stared at Shen Xingzhi intently, as if she could capture more emotions from his eyes. No matter if it was driven by interests or boredom, any of his motives for confessing his feelings would make her feel relieved, as long as... it was not just love.
"I have no idea."
Shen Xingzhi pondered for a moment, and finally shook his head slowly. He stood straight and tall, his focused eyes filled with some heart-wrenching confusion.
"Then forget it. We're all together now, so it's normal to have some spur-of-the-moment illusions."
After a moment of silence, Ren Limeng told Shen Xingzhi and also warned herself. She raised the smile on her lips again and lowered her eyes slightly. Before her final voice could dissipate in the air, Shen Xingzhi suddenly spoke again.
"But I don't like you right now."
Noticing Ren Limeng's gaze looking at him again, Shen Xingzhi continued to narrate, his low ending tone like the night wind blowing across the river, revealing a slight ripple under his calm face.
"Li Meng, you can smile brighter."
Just as heartless as she was many years ago, with unrestrained ambition and stubbornness, and with a brilliance and brightness that can outshine the sun and the moon.
Ren Limeng's smile froze slightly. After a while, she lowered her eyes and smiled bitterly, "Chen Xingzhi, it's the middle of the night, and I'm smiling so brightly, isn't it scary?"
She didn't want to continue discussing this topic, just like many times, Ren Limeng didn't want to look at herself in Shen Xingzhi's familiar eyes, too considerate, but also too tired and embarrassed.
Time flies, spring goes and autumn comes, hiding all the compromises and changes. Things are no longer the same, and in the so-called growth, she has already become a more mature self, and her smile is naturally more graceful.
Ren Limeng accepts everything about herself, but at such a quiet moment in the night, she would also feel the urge to go back to her childhood. At that time, practicing a play was enough to become her whole life. The so-called troubles were more like "young people do not know the taste of sorrow", so simple and pure.
"Since we met again this time, you seemed to be smiling all the time, but Li Meng, except for the smile after the oral broadcast of the first public performance, your smile... every time was fake."
“Chen Xingzhi, how I laugh has nothing to do with you.”
The curve of Ren Limeng's mouth completely retracted. She raised her chin slightly, and there was no trace of fragility in her expression. Her eyes instantly revealed a coldness that kept people at a distance, as if Shen Xingzhi's words were unreasonable. Her words completely concealed the unknown emotions in her heart at the moment.
"I feel bad."
Shen Xingzhi curled the corners of his mouth slightly, staring at Ren Limeng without allowing any rejection, lowered his head slightly, and his body could not help but slowly move closer to the person in front of him.
Every word he spoke was firm and powerful, and was particularly clear in Ren Limeng's ears as the footsteps kept approaching. The low and hoarse voice had a magical power that led people to sink into it.
"I only want you, Li Meng. I will help you achieve whatever you want. I only want you to smile happily and not push me away again."
"...Chen Xingzhi, the domineering CEO's tricks are not suitable for us. Where did you learn all these? In just one week...you have fallen in love with me so deeply?"
Ren Limeng raised her eyebrows without any hesitation. She calmly looked at the increasingly clear outline of Shen Xingzhi in front of her. Her calm tone was not artificially sweet, nor as gentle as recorded. It seemed that she was simply confused by Shen Xingzhi's unusual confession.
She didn't believe Shen Xingzhi's love for her, but was there anything about her that was worth Shen Xingzhi's plot?
After thinking hard again and again, Ren Limeng still couldn't find the answer. She clearly felt her heartbeat becoming more and more uncontrollable, which was quietly growing and spreading wildly in her pretended calm voice.
The night was dim, and she seemed calm with a cold look in her eyes, but only Ren Limeng herself noticed the turbulent waves that had already been stirred in her heart, and that was the only trace of her heartbeat.
A host may always appear calm and composed in front of the camera, but she is just an ordinary person with emotions that reason can never balance.
"A week? Li Meng, my love is not that casual."
Chen Xingzhi didn't want to mention college to Ren Limeng anymore. Those things in the past should be in the past. However, all the emotions that had unconsciously seeped into his heart had already taken deep root over time. No one could ignore or reject them.
Shen Xingzhi himself couldn't explain why, but when he thought of her after so many years, he still couldn't suppress the curve of his mouth.
His emotions, which had long been calm, would always be inexplicably disturbed, making him immature yet willing to accept it.
“Chen Xingzhi, it was you who suddenly proposed divorce back then, are you… kidding me?”
Ren Limeng's voice was soft, with a hint of indescribable etherealness. "I understand the pain you felt back then, and I believe you didn't make this decision casually, but... no matter what, since you already made your choice, why feign affection now?"
If you really love someone, why would you let go?
With just a few cold words, he cut off all possibilities. How cruel Shen Xingzhi was to her.
Everyone has his or her own painful moments. It is difficult to mend a broken mirror. When it comes to love, it’s the actions that matter, not the heart.
She suffered for so long because of his decision. A light "I like you" can make Ren Limeng feel mixed emotions again, but it is not enough to shake Ren Limeng's current decision.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”
Chen Xingzhi's lips were pressed into a straight line, and the corners of his mouth drooped unconsciously, revealing a hint of bitterness. His deep black eyes were full of shadows that Ren Limeng could not see through.
"I didn't expect a result right now, but Li Meng, can you... give me another chance? I just want to tell you that I'm always behind you."
Whenever you look back, you will definitely see me following you.
Shen Xingzhi could see that Ren Limeng was on "Shan Hai" for herself, with her own pursuits and ideas, and he was willing to wait for her to get what she wanted.
Wait until the whole show is over, wait until she wins her own hosting stage through her own efforts, wait until Ren Limeng has the energy to think about emotional matters, wait until they can simply think about each other, wait for the so-called right time.
But...what is a good time?
The more Chen Xingzhi pondered, the more afraid he became. He recalled their previous flash marriage and divorce. They had missed each other for more than ten years. Could it be that they were just a little bit away from being destined to be together again and wasting their time?
Especially these days, he noticed Ren Limeng's inexplicable enthusiasm for Han Tai, and today he discovered Guan He's deliberate kindness to Ren Limeng. Shen Xingzhi was very scared. It was not her feelings that she was avoiding, but him.
A slight mistake can lead to a huge error. I dare not gamble on this.
Even though he knew that speaking up at this moment would result in Ren Limeng's rejection, he still had to tell her the sadness he had hidden for many years and the feelings he had never revealed.
At the moment of true expression, Shen Xingzhi suddenly realized that he had found the so-called opportunity.
Maybe, only in the present moment.
It was as if she had bravely and proactively proposed to him, "Let's get married." Those bright eyes were the only bright color in his life that year, and it was also a temptation that he could not refuse at that moment.
Shen Xingzhi will not wait any longer this time. He wants to seize his present moment, the light that he still cannot refuse.
"Li Meng, look at me..."
OK?
The night was as thick as ink, and the mottled walls around cast strange shadows in the dim afterglow, creating a bizarre atmosphere with a tranquility detached from reality.
Chen Xingzhi's request was as low and deep as the night. Before his words fell, Ren Limeng's sudden action made his brain go blank. His body became stiff uncontrollably, and he leaned forward unconsciously with her choice.
His world seemed to be limited to what was in front of him. All his thoughts were cleared at this moment. A tingling sensation like an electric current spread from his lips to his whole body. Looking at Ren Limeng's face that quickly enlarged in front of him, Shen Xingzhi was caught off guard.
Amidst Shen Xingzhi's complex whispers, Ren Limeng suddenly took a step forward, stood on tiptoe, raised her chin slightly, and slowly stretched and raised her hands. She finally grabbed Shen Xingzhi's arms with great determination, and recklessly and persistently cleared away all the sticky and sticky air between the two of them.
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