Chapter 28
As expected, the gender check was overlooked because Shen Shiqian and Feng Ran were both admitted to the hospital. One fell into a coma due to fever during his susceptible period, and the other developed other symptoms due to drug side effects.
When the blood test results came back, Feng Ran was scolded by Xisen because the drug buildup had worsened. At that time, Shen Shiqian was still unconscious. Feng Ran lay stiffly on the hospital bed and replied with a smile, "Thank you for the doctor's advice. I quite like that lab."
Xisen immediately fell silent.
Xisen: "So what was the reason this time? The drug overdose was too severe, and the compound reagents tested could not be identified in terms of their direction of action."
Feng Ran blinked, his thinking slowing down: "I don't quite remember, maybe painkillers or something."
Xisen's impression of her plummeted. Seeing that she refused to cooperate, he continued with the previous topic: "What is your purpose in approaching Shen Shiqian?"
The side effects of the medicine kicked in again, and Feng Ran felt so cold for a moment that she felt like she was about to freeze to death. She tightened the blanket around herself and curled up into a ball. When she heard Xisen's words, she looked up, her expression messy and her reaction slow.
She spoke lightly, "Doctor, please ask him to let me go, okay? I can't do anything, I have no choice, and I don't want to have anything to do with him... Do you think he really likes me? Or is this how Alphas like to like someone—they only feel at ease when they can control and imprison me?"
"Doctor, can you tell me what you're thinking? Am I a really, really bad person? Why...?"
Why was fate so unfair to her?
Feng Ran stopped mid-sentence, then shakily extended her hand. Although it was freezing cold, her hand wasn't red or swollen from frostbite. Her wrist felt empty. For a moment, Feng Ran was confused about what she was trying to do.
Xisen didn't actually know much about Feng Ran. Even though she was Shen Shiqian's fiancée, he didn't have much interest in exploring or being curious. His knowledge was limited to the fact that she was a young lady from the Feng family. Although their social status was somewhat mismatched, it was rare that Shen Shiqian liked her, so these things didn't matter in comparison.
His health wasn't very good, and although he seemed shy and obedient, he was actually a very strong and thoughtful Alpha. In this respect, he was a good match for Shen Shiqian. Their relationship was characterized by Shen Shiqian's repeated indulgences and exceptions, while Feng Ran relied solely on him. Even when there were frictions in their relationship, Shen Shiqian would rush to find a way to make up. Therefore, Xisen hadn't thought about any deeper issues.
For example, what is the specific basis of their emotional relationship? What are the reasons for their marriage? Why did they live together before getting married? He unconditionally trusts Shen Shiqian because he feels that he understands that person's thoughts well enough. His actions must be based on his own calculations and considerations. It may also be because he was happy to see Shen Shiqian associated with the word "lust" for the first time and directly ignored the other person's thoughts. This is the indifference of a superior, which is something that Xisen originally tried his best to avoid.
Indeed, as long as Shen Shiqian wanted it, the Feng family had no power to refuse and could only obediently send their daughter over. Even though Xisen saw such indulgence and exceptions as pampering and preferential treatment, Feng Ran, who had been pushed into this position, obviously did not think so. How could he expect the other party to be grateful for such a forced sale? If Xisen had previously scoffed at such things and thought that if things continued to develop in this way, the empire would be doomed sooner or later, now that the protagonist of class oppression had become someone close to him, even his close friend, he felt his feelings had become complicated. Looking at Feng Ran again, he even felt a faint sense of guilt.
Feng Ran wrapped herself in the blanket, lost in thought. Her eyes were closed, and tears welled up unnoticed in the corners of her eyes, revealing a deep sorrow beneath her calm demeanor.
It shouldn't be like this.
Xisen knew Shen Shiqian well. Although in other people's eyes, since his mother's death, he had erased his youthful cynicism and high spirits and turned into the cold-hearted ghost he was now, Xisen knew that Shen Shiqian had always been an extreme idealist.
The Shen family has always been known as the empire's hounds, occupying a special position among the nobles. Due to the division of power over several generations, a tripartite situation of checks and balances has been formed between the military, the parliament, and the emperor. The emperor represents the nobles behind him, and the noble children have infiltrated the other two factions to varying degrees, which is why the status quo has been maintained until now. However, it is hard to describe how difficult it is for someone of noble birth to take a position of power in the military or the parliament. In the past two hundred years, Shen Shiqian is the first.
His identity made him loyal to the empire, but it was not limited to that. He was loyal to the empire in his idealism, a utopian blueprint in which there were no classes, no rigidity, and no struggle. He longed for equality and freedom more than anyone else.
Therefore, Xisen did not believe that Shen Shiqian was the kind of person who would do something so unreasonable, as it would violate his beliefs.
Just as he was about to say something more to Feng Ran, Feng Ran opened his eyes and his expression returned to normal: "I'm sorry, doctor, just pretend you didn't hear what I just said. I probably said those things because my mind wasn't clear enough due to the medication. Shen Shiqian and I are definitely together because we like each other, but I might have been a little greedy."
So greedy... I want to know the true value of his so-called liking.
Just then, the signal light for the next ward on Xisen's information board lit up.
Because Shen Shiqian's fever was caused by some kind of pheromone disorder, he needed to be isolated in a separate ward. The signal light came on to indicate that he had finally regained consciousness.
Feng Ran: "Aren't you going to go and see him? I think you two would have more to talk about."
Xisen swallowed back what he wanted to say and didn't know how to start the conversation, so he went next door to check on Shen Shiqian's condition, just as Feng Ran had suggested.
Because Feng Ran didn't mark him this time, the false heat could only be controlled with medication. Although the fever subsided, Shen Shiqian didn't seem to be in good condition. His pheromones hadn't returned to a level that he could control freely. So even though all the filters and air purifiers in the room were on full power, Xisen was still choked when he entered.
The thought that Shen Shiqian would have to rely on medication to cope with his fertile periods and pseudoestrus in the future made Xisen feel compassionate and he forgave Shen Shiqian for the undeserved misfortune he had suffered today.
"Where is Feng Ran?"
"It's quite a sight to see you two lying together next door. But you should worry about yourself first. Your pheromones are all messed up like this; medication alone won't fix it anytime soon. What on earth did you two do...?"
What happened to her?
"Drug buildup, plus an overdose of inhibitors, probably caused her neurological symptoms. She wouldn't listen to the tests I brought her for, and when I told her to take good care of her, she was looking elsewhere. At this rate of overdose, she'll eventually cause her to suffer from physical exhaustion."
Xisen frowned and tapped Shen Shiqian, who was clearly overwhelmed with worry, with his data board: "Let go, don't break the armrests of our hospital beds."
Xisen: "What exactly is going on between you two... Although I really want to ask you this, I doubt you'll tell me the truth. But you need to consider the choice I'm about to make as soon as possible. You've already developed a dependency disorder with her, and the pheromone out-of-control situation will only get worse. Either stay away from her or let her mark you. But I don't need to remind you what will happen when the mark residue accumulates to a certain extent, do I?"
The armrest of the hospital bed was dented from being pressed so hard. Shen Shiqian's eyes were terribly red, and it took him a long time to reply: "I understand."
Sissen sighed: "What do you like about her?"
After all, he can't see what it is about that kid that he likes you.
Shen Shiqian: "She is very beautiful and dazzling..."
These two people are really inexplicable.
Shen Shiqian was telling the truth. Feng Ran was indeed the kind of stunningly beautiful woman, so much so that Shen Shiqian couldn't help but be overcome with lust in that kind of atmosphere. In his previous life, most of their interactions were through a screen, so Shen Shiqian could distract himself and multitask. But when they stood facing each other, he could truly feel the cruel yet innocent beauty in Feng Ran.
The vague emotions, driven by the impact of the moment, took deep root in his heart. After seeing the scarred heart and the virtual image before the explosion, they grew wildly and greedily, devouring him like a worm. Apart from remaining unclear, they seemed to have grown into an obsession, a dark side unknown to others.
Perhaps this vague and ambiguous feeling can be barely called longing, because Feng Ran is too dazzling. Her theories, her achievements, and her accomplishments are like a ruthless look down on humanity's current struggles and efforts from the end of science and civilization. She is so powerful that she can stand alone against the millions of planets of the Empire.
This made Shen Shiqian feel that if she were there, if her light were there, all the dull nodes would be shattered, the class concepts that imprisoned thought would become shards of glass scattered all over the ground under the explosion, and a brand new era and future would break through the soil, and even fate could be reversed.
The light of the wind was so dazzling, but unfortunately, this star was discovered too late. When her light spread across the Empire, only cold, lifeless embers remained.
That ambiguous longing was forcibly suppressed into dark thoughts during the confrontation. Since she couldn't bask in that light, it wouldn't hurt to let the wanted goddess become a fleeting shooting star in the universe. That was what Shen Shiqian once thought.
Until the world was truly saved from the embers of the wind-burning fire.
Shen Shiqian didn't know when this emotion had accumulated and erupted to this point, but he was finally able to perceive and face it directly: he liked Feng Ran. However, that liking was mixed with too many other things, making him appear particularly despicable when facing Feng Ran.
Sometimes he would subconsciously push Feng Ran away, simply because he didn't want to tarnish the most dazzling star at the end of his lofty idealism, nothing more. But Shen Shiqian didn't want to be rejected by Feng Ran; he longed to live in that light.
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