Chapter 47
It's so strange. She was reborn, and she has all sorts of opportunities to change her situation, change the current circumstances, and even change the whole world. But why does she seem to be sicker than in her previous life? Did Shen Shiqian poison her?
Feng Ran lay back down weakly, looking sickly, as if she hadn't been the one who had just gone mad.
Xisen put the medication aside for the moment and perked up again: "Shall we go to the psychiatrist now for a checkup, and then I'll prescribe your medication?"
Feng Ran: "Didn't you do anything while I was unconscious?"
The head examination should have been done, since it revealed damage to her auditory nerve, but the condition of other parts may be uncertain, and it's highly likely that Xing Tong has corrected them.
Just to be on the safe side, it would be best to have a more thorough full-body checkup. I'll find you the best neurologist and psychologist in our hospital.
Feng Ran blinked: "Do you think I'm very sick?"
Xisen remained silent, as if acquiescing.
Feng Ran grinned and said, "Then let's go."
The hospital gowns were very thin, and even though the room was heated, Feng Ran still felt cold, probably due to the side effects of the medication. She clutched her clothes tightly, feeling dizzy, and slowly followed behind Xi Sen. Shen Shiqian walked behind her, gently supporting her.
She simply opened her arms and let Shen Shiqian pick her up. Being covered by someone else's body heat always gave her a vague sense of security. Feng Ran didn't move and was particularly well-behaved.
"Sir, do you want to know my secret?"
Shen Shiqian didn't speak, so she continued.
"Why didn't you choose me in the first place? Didn't you take me away from Basil to save me?"
She groaned uncomfortably, "It doesn't matter if we don't save them, we're all doomed anyway."
Feng Ran hated this kind of cold indifference that didn't respond to anything. In her eyes, it was a silent rejection. Did he not like her at all? Were his words about saving her and loving her just lies? She felt bitter and aggrieved.
Why should she suffer so much while Shen Shiqian can remain calm and indifferent? Isn't it all his fault?
Feng Ran's emotions surged, and her mouth, which was about to chatter on, was suddenly sealed shut. Shen Shiqian easily and skillfully pried open her teeth, slowly invading and dominating her breathing, heavily entangled with her, scraping against her palate. Feng Ran couldn't bear it at all; her heart ached with an itchy itch. Her teary eyes clung to Shen Shiqian, desperately trying to get oxygen, like a cunning strangler plant hiding in the shadows.
"Ranran, please believe me, okay? I love you. I know there are many misunderstandings between us. After we get better, we can talk things out. Can you give me a chance?"
Feng Ran sobbed uncontrollably. She watched as Shen Shiqian seemed to ramble on about something, then she managed to concentrate and squeeze out a sliver of mental energy to sense it. The pain from the nerve stimulation made her eyes red and tears kept falling.
"Between me and the Empire, do you really have to choose one?"
Shen Shiqian remained silent for a long time, appearing very conflicted: "I can help you. I can help you kill all the people you hate. Of course, I can give you my life too, but... I don't want you to use yourself as a bargaining chip. You need to love yourself properly."
It seemed like a perfect answer, but in reality, he hadn't chosen anything. Feng Ran cried so hard that he choked on his breath and couldn't catch his breath: "Fine, what if I asked you to kill Jeno Carlos? You'd have to help me purge them one by one? Then half of the people in this empire's organizational structure wouldn't be able to escape."
Seeing that Feng Ran's complexion was getting worse and worse, and that she was coughing as she sobbed, as if she was about to cough up her lungs, but she was forcing herself to hold on, as if she could faint from anger at his answer at any moment, Shen Shiqian decided to comfort her first, holding her tightly and supporting her back.
I choose you.
Feng Ran bit her lip, seemingly having no strength left. "Shen Shiqian, has anyone ever told you that your acting is terrible?"
She fell completely silent, cooperating with Xisen and the doctors in the department for the examination, without saying a word. Only at times like this did she truly feel like a patient.
The scanned images from the examination report were quickly uploaded and printed. The image without wind-fire intervention had a large area of reddish-brown markings, which made one subconsciously suspect that the machine was broken. The inflammatory response was dark red, the peripheral lesions were dark brown, and there were also other problems such as compressive swelling, axonal myelin sheath wear and thinning.
After all, if they had been given a scan like this in the past, they would have basically concluded that the person was definitely dead. Any one of these symptoms is a rare and difficult-to-treat disease with an extremely low cure rate, and the characteristic of neurological disorders is that they occur at any time with intense and extreme pain that can destroy a person's will, so many people regard them as terminal illnesses.
Dr. Meng also brought two intern assistants, who were so shocked they couldn't help but keep looking in Feng Ran's direction, only to be kicked by the doctor to check the machine system. Feng Ran was extremely familiar with that diagram, finding it both amusing and tiring.
She glanced calmly at Shen Shiqian, who was equally shocked and speechless, and after hearing Xisen's explanation, a heavy sadness appeared in her eyes.
Feng Ran followed the interns to the machine, unchecked the reaction test results, revealing a very basic scan. The interns looked at her with a hint of awe, but Feng Ran ignored it and focused on zooming in on the image to find the area of the hippocampus.
Originally, the territory should have been located in a corner on the edge of the hippocampus, smaller than the dendritic spines on neurons, and should have been difficult to observe even with ordinary medical examination machines. However, Feng Ran's use of mental power has always exceeded its limits, and due to the widening effect of the drugs, her territory appears on the scan as a granular body protruding from the lower end of the hippocampus.
She pointed to the granular structure, visible to the naked eye at maximum magnification, and said gently, "Doctor, look, this is the potential of humanity."
Xisen was even more anxious than her, as if he himself was the one suffering from a serious illness: "Forget about the possibility for now, can you explain what this scan is about? I didn't have these symptoms during the last checkup!"
Feng Ran walked back from the machine, unimpressed by the picture in their hands. "I don't know. Didn't you say the machine was broken?"
Xisen couldn't understand why she could remain so calm: "Don't you feel any of this inflammation or nerve compression?"
Feng Ran: "How could I not feel anything? It hurts a lot. Sometimes I even lose consciousness because of the pain. I used to think I would die from the pain. Now... I can't say I can control it, but it's probably neither good nor bad."
Xisen wanted to say something more, but looking at Feng Ran, he suddenly realized something was wrong: "Wait, your ears aren't..."
Shen Shiqian: "Mental power?"
Feng Ran: "Correct answer. After all, my right ear has been deaf for a long time, and my left ear has a severe hearing impairment. Without a suitable hearing aid, I cannot maintain a normal life. So I have been using my mental energy to receive perceptions."
Shen Shiqian frowned: "But the impact of deficits and losses is even more serious..."
Feng Ran: "Yes, but if I didn't do this, you wouldn't be able to see me now."
Knowing about Feng Ran's ear injury, Shen Shiqian would often brush her hair aside to touch her ear. Feng Ran was originally very disgusted by this, and even though she openly admitted her disability, she did not accept such pity.
But Shen Shiqian looked like he was in pain, as if it were a wound on his body. This person must be terminally ill, Feng Ran thought, and decided that he could touch it if he wanted, so he allowed him to presumptuously touch his right ear.
After all, opportunities to see Shen Shiqian display such a pained, dazed, and helpless expression are rare. His usually brave, tall, and calm image seems to be coated with a layer of fragility, like high-carbon steel that would break with the slightest bend. Feng Ran would feel that their identities have been switched, and he is easily pleased by Shen Shiqian's pain.
Feng Ran grabbed the hand that was gently stroking his ear, tilted her head and pressed her face against his: "Sir, how will you save me?"
Shen Shiqian seemed to choke for a moment, unable to answer Feng Ran's question for a long time, "Does it hurt?"
Feng Ran laughed brightly: "Of course, to be honest, I feel like my head is about to explode. But although it hurts a lot, after a while, I sometimes feel that the pain is unreal, like an illusion that comes and goes."
She pulled Shen Shiqian's hand away and looked at Xisen: "Doctor, whether you want to discuss or study it, can you do it later? Let's finish the rest of the tests while I'm still in good condition."
"Ah... um... okay."
The psychologist they hired was supposedly one of the hardest-to-book specialists in Kempion. Feng Ran stared at the young woman's face, which he recognized from intelligence files, and couldn't help but genuinely laugh.
Feng Ran glanced at her name tag and greeted her politely, "Hello, Dr. Bai Yunxi."
She did know that Kobana's lost daughter had been adopted by the Bai family and was now working as a psychologist in Kempin, but she didn't expect that it would be an expert appointment that Shen Shiqian and his team had found.
The diagnosis of mental illness requires many professional tests. Doctors will also ask her questions from time to time. In addition, there are some stress behavior tests to be performed.
Because it was too tedious and lengthy, Feng Ran lost patience halfway through and started scribbling randomly on the whiteboard. Even so, it still took a lot of time, and when he came out of the consultation room, he looked annoyed with everyone he met.
Xisen wasn't angry that she ignored him, but instead asked someone else, "Dr. Bai, thank you for your hard work, how is the situation?"
Bai Yunxi showed him her record board and shook her head: "Not very optimistic. All the factor scores are very high, only somatization is still within a controllable range."
Xisen took her record board and handed it to Shen Shiqian to look at. Paranoia, hostility, and interpersonal sensitivity all reached an astonishing three stars. The scores of other indicators were also far above the normal level, and there were also severe manic symptoms and obsessive-compulsive state.
Compared to the intractable neurotic disorders, the Empire's current medical level can be said to be quite comprehensive in the treatment of mental illnesses, with complete treatment plans and course designs. However, mental illnesses are ultimately different from other diseases. All the pain is reflected in emotions, and when emotions are problematic, people will naturally get sick.
Seeing Feng Ran's medical report was quite disorienting, as if I had never truly understood what kind of person she was.
Feng Ran glanced at the report as well, and said in a gentle tone, "Sir, do you think this diagnosis is accurate? You should be the person who knows me best, right? I can't tell for myself. Sometimes I do lose control of my emotions, but I was having such a bad headache that I didn't pay attention to other details. Am I very ill?"
Dr. Bai failed to notice the subtle atmosphere between them and, like a naive sweetheart, cheered her on: "It's okay, Miss Feng Ran. Your condition isn't serious. Although it looks complicated, you'll get better as long as you cooperate with the treatment I've designed."
"Really? Thank you, doctor."
She tugged at Shen Shiqian: "Now that the examination is finished, let's go. I want to go home."
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