Chapter 57
Shen Shiqian, who was in the middle of a meeting, suddenly felt a slight tearing and stinging sensation. It happened so fast that he didn't even have time to react before his neck felt cold. Then, everyone in the meeting room focused their attention on him and quickly turned their heads away as if they had done something wrong.
His blood surged instantly, as if he had been nailed to the spot and couldn't move, a perfect replica of what happened on Nor. But what was even more outrageous was that this time there was no neck ring to cover him, and the person next to him wasn't a stranger, but a familiar legionary.
There's a sense of shame, like being dissected and displayed in front of others.
The exposed bite marks on his neck were like stamps, clearly marking everyone's names on his body. They burned Shen Shiqian's heart, and he couldn't help but recall the weakness in his legs when he woke up that morning, as if he had traveled back to that moment, but with many more witnesses.
Because of Enigma's malicious pranks, the meeting had to end abruptly.
The culprit was leisurely eating breakfast with his accomplice when Shen Shiqian came looking for her. Feng Ran was focused on eating the wontons that Xiao Lan had specially prepared for her, and didn't give Shen Shiqian a single glance the whole time.
Xisen put on his best acting skills in his life, trying to defuse the conflict: "Oh dear, the gauze fell off. Come here and I'll fix it for you."
Shen Shiqian took a deep breath and ignored his beckoning: "You go out first."
Xisen was worried, guilty, and a little flustered. He glanced at Feng Ran and pointed to his head, trying to tell Shen Shiqian that she was not in a good mental state and not to get too angry and provoke her. But Shen Shiqian completely ignored him and sat down opposite Feng Ran with a sullen face.
Feeling completely ignored, Xisen chose to leave promptly, feeling that life was getting worse and worse.
Feng Ran finished her wontons before looking up at him: "What's wrong? Are we getting to the Red Coral District?"
When Shen Shiqian stood before Feng Ran, he met her calm gaze and immediately became timid again. Compared to Feng Ran's feelings for him, the shame and anger he felt at being tricked seemed too weak. He had said he would help Feng Ran and firmly choose her over the empire and the world, but he was always used to his own position and environment and felt powerless and dizzy at Feng Ran's actions.
Seeing that he didn't speak, Feng Ran rested his chin on his hand and looked at him: "What's wrong? Are you angry? I thought you were used to it by now."
Compared to her previous life, Feng Ran felt that she had become much better-tempered now. She had endured for so long without really taking drastic measures against Shen Shiqian. Sometimes she couldn't understand what she was thinking. Now, Feng Ran was finally curious about the question she hadn't asked before.
"Shen Shiqian, what do you think of me?"
What kind of person is Feng Ran in Shen Shiqian's eyes? Where does his almost fanatical love come from? He says he would betray the empire and abandon the world for her, and he would give in to all kinds of difficulties that Feng Ran faced. But what is he really like?
Enigma's desire for dominance is truly terrifying. Perhaps it has nothing to do with gender, but rather the karmic debts from a past life have manifested as a painful obsession in this life. Feng Ran once thought that as long as he could defeat Shen Shiqian, everything would be fine, but he didn't know what constituted a victory.
Even now, with him forced to submit to her, Feng Ran feels that some longing still remains in her heart. However, it is precisely because of this longing that the desire to win has turned into possession and control. She uses herself to bind Shen Shiqian, wanting to completely destroy, annihilate, and tear him apart, and then reassemble him into the shape she likes according to her own will.
It's already so twisted and complex that it can't be described as simple hatred, because if Shen Shiqian were to die simply, Feng Ran would feel it would be a great pity.
Shen Shiqian: "I can't describe it to you well, because you might not believe it if I told you. I have always been full of longing and admiration for you, like chasing the light emitted by the Small Magellanic Cloud in the universe. I once firmly believed that even if we have different identities and positions, and we scheme and plot against each other, in the end we will move in the same direction and the end of the road we want to reach will be the same."
"As you questioned me about why I could accept His Majesty's betrayal of the Shen family without any resentment, there is no such thing. It's just that I feel that what I can do on my own is very limited. Compared to blind hatred, I have more important things to do. The people I want to be loyal to and responsible for are not the Carlos family, but the millions of people in this empire. They trust this empire and live a peaceful and happy life, so I am willing to let this peace continue."
Feng Ran: "Even if this stability is full of illusions?"
Shen Shiqian: "Yes, it's a contradiction."
"I was very confident back then, even arrogant. I thought I was only thirty years old and had more than a hundred years to slowly find a way to remove the filth and disease of the empire and give it a completely new life. If His Majesty Jeno couldn't do it, I would find Princess Sherry. If Princess Sherry couldn't do it, then overthrowing the entire empire was not out of the question. Before that, I was willing to trust them and did not want to break this stability."
“Until you appeared, the first time I saw you in the academy's equipment room, I truly felt that you were the hope for the future of the empire. I was full of expectations that you would graduate, enter the Academy of Sciences or the Research Institute, and then stir up waves in the peaceful calm, pushing the times forward. When the court announced the arrest warrant for you, I was very surprised. The investigators said that you dropped out of the military academy after one year. I felt that this was very wrong. Even what happened to the Feng family and the Sleika family cannot be blamed on you so vaguely. But I have no evidence. The public needs to be appeased, and I also have my own position.”
"You appeared out of nowhere with your talent, entering the world's eyes. How scientists envied and cursed you, how the judge and the security department feared you, all made me feel that you were very special. Your strength and your brilliance were too dazzling. I couldn't empathize with them. I just felt that I wished you were on my side. I longed for powerful things and felt sorry for my own cowardice."
"But because I represent the Empire and stand against you, I cannot show weakness. I must maintain my impartiality and seriousness. It's not that I haven't had the thought of rushing to you, but I feel unwilling, because perhaps only by standing on the opposite side can I face you directly, instead of following behind and only watching your back. Because of the royal family's betrayal of the Shen family, you are disappointed in me. You have made your choice, but I have not."
"Later, your appearance in Chilia caused a great commotion. You repeatedly punctured the illusion of stability in the Empire, and distrust and suspicion emerged and poured in like a leaky window, all pointing towards the Empire. At that time, I dared not trust you anymore. I didn't know if everything you did was ultimately right, because I didn't know how you really viewed the Empire. Did you hate the rulers within this organizational framework, or did you hate everyone who had rejected you? Just as you abandoned me, I was also worried that you would abandon this world."
"Perhaps it was out of some kind of inferiority complex when facing you, feeling that the light of the Nebula could not reach the Empire, so you were no different from other wanted criminals. I used to think that naively."
Shen Shiqian slowly walked up to Feng Ran, took her hand and gently placed it on his neck. The bite mark no longer looked like an author's signature, but like a criminal's tattoo.
Shen Shiqian: "But now I realize how terrible the consequences of this naivety are. Everything is just as you said. I should have trusted you more. I don't want this world to be without you. That's how I feel about you."
Feng Ran followed his hand to his face, pinched his earlobe, and felt a little tired after listening to Shen Shiqian say so much: "Do you think I should forgive you?"
Shen Shiqian didn't speak. He wanted to nod vigorously in affirmation, to be forgiven, and to have the opportunity to choose again, but he had neither the right nor the standing to guide or advise Feng Ran to do so.
Feng Ran blinked, his expression remaining calm: "So in the end I won? Suddenly I feel so bored. You placed your hopes on someone else without my consent, and then took them back without my consent. Don't you think you went too far?"
"You're not as smart as I thought, are you? But I'm not smart either."
Feng Ran bent down and hugged him, pressing all his weight against him as he lazily said, "Shen Shiqian, I'm so tired. I feel so pathetic being liked by you~"
Shen Shiqian knelt on the ground and caught her steadily, his voice pitiful: "I'm sorry..."
Feng Ran: "So, do you trust me now?"
Shen Shiqian: "I don't know if this can be considered trust for you, but I've decided to stay by your side no matter what you do."
Feng Ran clicked his tongue in amazement: "You really know how to pat yourself on the back. Have you already forgotten what happened at Charan Paradise? I'm going to settle the score with you!"
Shen Shiqian: "Yes, but I didn't mean to betray you. It's just that at the time I couldn't be sure who was behind Bai Sha, and I didn't want to lose to anyone other than you."
Feng Ran: "That's true. If it were that easy to deal with, I wouldn't have needed to fight you for so many years."
So, will you forgive me?
Feng Ran jumped out of his arms, stood still, and looked back at him with an arrogant and contemptuous expression: "Heh, that depends on your performance."
Shen Shiqian touched the bite marks on his neck again, completely lost in a trance, laughing as if he were drunk, his eyes both fervent and dazed.
"Feng Ran, I love you."
We must be more solemn and sincere than ever before.
It transcends death and time.
It was as hot as a raging fireball, threatening to burn a huge hole in Fengran's heart.
Feng Ran looked at him, speechless. She had always been an awkward person who was not good at accepting other people's kindness.
It was as if they had finally broken through the millennia-old cold, left the frozen snowfield, and returned to their warm nest. The congealed blood began to flow freely, and their whole body went numb.
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