Chapter 196 Whoever gets covered in poop by the broom will die.
196
The Revolutionary Committee Director felt like he was being roasted over a fire! To have a bunch of peasants search him? Did he even care about his reputation?! But if he disagreed… wouldn't that be admitting he had a guilty conscience? He was now in a dilemma.
"Sister-in-law...we can talk this out in private..." he tried to ease the tension, his voice carrying a barely perceptible plea.
"It would be so ugly to make a scene in the open. I'll definitely investigate the missing money thoroughly when I get back! As for the body search... let's skip it."
"Dismissed?!"
Lin's mother's voice was shrill: "Director! That's three thousand yuan! Not three cents! If we let you go today, what if you go back on your word later? Who will I, an old woman, cry to?! Since you don't trust the people in our village..."
Her gaze shifted, and she called out directly: "You dog egg! Get on your bicycle! Go to the police station right now and report this! Say that the Revolutionary Committee comrades came to search our house and that three thousand yuan of my hard-earned money has disappeared! Please, police comrades, come and uphold justice!"
"Alright! I promise to get the police here as quickly as possible!"
Dog Egg responded loudly and quickly pushed the bicycle in the corner, ready to rush outside.
"Hey, hey, no! No, no, no! Sister-in-law! Wait! Everything can be discussed! It can be discussed!"
The Revolutionary Committee director panicked and hurriedly stopped him, veins throbbing on his forehead. "We...we really didn't see the three thousand yuan...searching people...it's just too humiliating...How about this! Our Revolutionary Committee...will offer fifteen hundred yuan! Consider it...consider it compensation for your losses and shock! Let's leave it at that, okay?!"
He thought this was a huge concession.
To everyone's surprise, Lin's mother exploded upon hearing this:
"What?! You want me to just accept my bad luck and lose 1,500 yuan for nothing?! You're trying to kill me! God! Are you trying to kill me?!"
She slapped her thigh, wailing and sobbing, her voice piercingly loud: "Baozhu! Did you see that? They're trying to drive your mother to her death! Call your older brother in a minute! Go find your police station leaders! I refuse to believe there's no justice in this world! Why should we suffer this 1,500 yuan loss in silence?!"
Watching Lin's mother throw a tantrum, rolling on the ground in tears, and launch into a tirade of accusations, the Revolutionary Committee Director felt his temples throbbing and his head buzzing. Police intervention? And if that protective Lin Dalang were to interfere again… even if he managed to keep his position, he'd have lost all face!
"...We'll pay! We'll pay! Three thousand! Just three thousand!" He practically gritted his teeth as he forced the words out, his heart bleeding. "But... three thousand isn't a small amount..."
Lin's mother's crying stopped abruptly, her eyes widening: "Have your men search us one by one, maybe we'll find my money! It'll save your Revolutionary Committee from wasting money..."
Why are you bringing up body searches again?!
The Revolutionary Committee director's head buzzed, and his vision blurred—why was this old woman still fixated on this?! If they really found it… it wouldn't just be a matter of paying compensation! It would solidify the Revolutionary Committee's charge of theft! Absolutely not!
"Write a note?" Lin's mother scoffed, hands on her hips. "What good is an empty note! I want cash today! If you don't see it? Dog Egg—"
Seeing that Lin's mother was about to call someone to report the case again, the director of the Revolutionary Committee was furious but helpless, and could only squeeze out the order through gritted teeth:
"You! Go to the office right now! Have the accountant bring three thousand yuan in cash immediately! Right now! Immediately!"
"What about our family's 'losses'?" Lin's mother immediately asked, pointing to the mess on the floor.
The Revolutionary Committee Director's temple veins throbbed as he gritted his teeth and said, "...Add another five hundred!"
"Wow! The director is such a straightforward person!"
Lin's mother's face instantly lit up with a smile, her expression changing faster than flipping through a book. Her mind was racing: the broken things were worth at most two hundred, she'd made a profit of thirteen thousand! She was one step closer to becoming a ten-thousand-yuan household!
Lin Baozhu watched her mother's "superb acting skills" and the director's face, which looked like he was trying to hide his internal injuries, and couldn't help but smile slightly. These stupid thieves, if they hadn't touched her mother's "secret stash," why would they have shed so much blood? Of the three thousand five hundred li, probably three thousand was pure profit!
Seeing the Lin mother and daughter's beaming faces, Zhao Xiaoyu was consumed by jealousy and spoke sourly:
"Aunt Lin, our village ancestral hall is in such a dilapidated state... Now that your family is so wealthy, shouldn't you..."
Before he could finish speaking—
"Gurgle gurgle—!"
A muffled, rapid rumbling sound from Zhao Xiaoyu's stomach exploded like thunder! Her face turned deathly pale, and cold sweat instantly covered her forehead!
*Pfft—pfft pfft pfft—pfft gurgle…*
A series of uncontrollable and shocking sounds of floodwaters suddenly erupted! An indescribable stench, mixed with the stench of fermentation, instantly filled the Lin family courtyard like a poison gas bomb!
"vomit--!"
"Good heavens!"
"Zhao Xiaoyu has soiled her pants."
"Could she be having trouble holding in her poop?"
The villagers surrounding Zhao Xiaoyu looked at her as if she were a plague god, covering their noses in terror and backing away, their faces ashen, and many of them even started to vomit.
The captain's face was as black as the bottom of a pot, and his finger pointing at Zhao Xiaoyu was trembling:
"Zhao Xiaoyu! Are you ever going to stop?! How many times has this happened?! Every time something happens in the village, you poop your pants in public! Are you deliberately trying to embarrass the whole village with you?!"
He was so angry that he was breathing heavily through his nostrils, but the stench that permeated his lungs made him gag.
What did this woman eat? The smell is pungent and makes my eyes water!
"I...I didn't...gurgle—!" Zhao Xiaoyu tried to explain, but the intense cramping and loss of control overwhelmed her again! She desperately squeezed her legs together, trying to salvage her last shred of dignity, but—
Pfft... Sizzle...
A yellowish-brown, foul-smelling liquid gushed uncontrollably from her tight trousers, dripping onto the floor...
"You wretched, despicable woman!"
When Lin's mother saw that her yard was stained with excrement and urine, she was filled with rage. She grabbed a broom from the corner of the wall and started hitting Zhao Xiaoyu with it.
"Go poop in your own doghouse! Who are you trying to disgust by pooping and peeing in my house?! I'll beat you to death, you shameless scoundrel!"
The broom whistled through the air and slammed down squarely on Zhao Xiaoyu's face with a loud "smack!" To make matters worse, the tip of the broom, by sheer coincidence, picked up the filth flowing from her trouser leg!
"Ah!!" Zhao Xiaoyu screamed, like a headless fly, instinctively wanting to hide behind the Revolutionary Committee Director who looked the most "authoritative"!
Lin's mother was caught up in the excitement of chasing and hitting him, and for a moment she couldn't stop—**
"Smack!"
The broom, covered in filth, landed squarely on the livid face of the Revolutionary Committee Director!
A sticky, warm, and foul-smelling yellowish-brown liquid instantly smeared his face, even dripping down his lips and chin...
"Oh my goodness!"
Startled, Lin's mother loosened her grip, and the broom clattered to the ground. Quickly, she grabbed a greasy, blackened, tattered towel from the clothesline and rushed over in a panic.
"Director! This is really not my fault! It was this wretched woman who crawled behind you! Quickly wipe yourself! Quickly wipe yourself!" As she spoke, she was about to slap the towel that smelled of feet on the director's face.
The Revolutionary Committee Director's face was covered in filth, and the stench was so overwhelming that he himself felt like vomiting; he couldn't smell the towel at all. He suppressed the urge to vomit, snatched the towel, and frantically rubbed it on his face and mouth! The sticky sensation nearly drove him to the brink of collapse!
"You stupid piece of trash! What are you still wiping for?! Hurry up and get some water for the director to wash up!"
The captain, watching from the side, felt his eyelids twitch and shouted a stern rebuke.
"Oh! Water! Yes! Water!" Lin's mother suddenly realized and hurriedly went to grab the water ladle.
The result was either an accidental spill of the water they had just scooped up, or the ladle "accidentally" falling into the dirty water. Finally, trembling, they filled a basin with water and carried it towards the director—
"Ouch!" With a stumble, the entire basin of water, like a shower of flowers, splashed over his head and face with perfect precision onto the Revolutionary Committee Director, who was frantically wiping himself, and Zhao Xiaoyu, who was covered in filth!
Whoosh—!
The two of them were instantly soaked to the bone, and with the previous filth mixed in, they looked even more disheveled!
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