Chapter 71 Regret

Jun Jingxing asked: "Are you going to die?"

Sui Yan looked at him with eyes that looked like a beast, and said, "I won't do anything out of line. What are you thinking? Dirty!"

Jun Jingxing almost vomited blood: "I am dirty? I just said that if you don't take a medicinal bath today, you will be courting death. If you want to sleep with the prince, I don't care if you are looking for death or not!"

Sui Yan: “…”

After Jun Jingxing finished speaking, he immediately realized that he had said something wrong. He rubbed his eyebrows and felt a terrible headache.

Sui Yan looked at Jun Jingxing for a long time before whispering, "You are just dirty..." Jun Jingxing: "..."

Jun Jingxing didn't want to discuss the dirty or not issue with him, so he tried to sew up his face and said coldly: "The poison in your body is still acting up. If you don't suppress it with a medicinal bath, you might get crazy in pain again in the middle of the night. Do you want to be a playboy or have a good sleep?"

Duan Mingchong had seen Sui Yan's ferocious behavior for a long time, and he really didn't want to embarrass himself any more, so he said, "Okay, you do it."

Jun Jingxing sneered and poured the herbs beside the bathtub into the tub. If you didn't know, you would think he was decocting medicine.

Sui Yan pinched his nose and soaked in the bathtub for a long time before he rinsed off and returned to his room wearing his clothes.

Duan Mingchong exchanged greetings with Sui Xun before returning to Sui Yan's side courtyard.

As soon as he opened the door, he saw Sui Yan spreading the quilt on the bed.

Duan Mingchong asked, "Ah Yan?" Sui Yan turned around in his busy schedule and said, "Your Highness is back."

Duan Mingchong smiled and asked, "What are you doing?"

Sui Yan rolled up two quilts and placed them on the couch, and said honestly, "Spread the quilts for His Highness."

Duan Mingchong was stunned: "I...sleep here?"

Sui Yan nodded and said, "There are very few people staying at the Marquis' Mansion. The guest room has not been cleaned for who knows how long. Your Highness, please stay here with me."

It sounded like nonsense. Duan Mingchong looked at him helplessly. It was not easy to expose him, so he could only nod.

Sui Yan and Duan Mingchong had some food in the outer room. With nothing to do, Sui Yan dragged Duan Mingchong to take off his outer robe and got on the bed.

Sui Yan originally wanted to clean up the guest room for Duan Mingchong because of the smell of medicine on his body, but after thinking it over, he finally managed to get him to stay, it would seem too much of a loss if they didn't sleep together, so he had to compromise and use one bed and two quilts.

Sui Yan wrapped himself tightly and said, "Your Highness, when do you usually go to bed in the palace?"

Duan Mingchong was sitting on the edge of the bed, raising his hand to take off his hair crown. He tilted his head and thought for a moment before saying, "The hour of Hai."

In winter, Sui Yan wished he could stay in bed forever. He couldn't understand Duan Mingchong's habit of resting at 11 p.m. and getting up before dawn to go to court.

Sui Yan sat up and helped Duan Mingchong take off his hair crown. Xuxu pushed Duan Mingchong to lie on the bed and helped him pull the quilt up, being very attentive.

Duan Mingchong smiled helplessly and said, "Just take care of yourself, don't worry about me."

Sui Yan said: "Your Highness is a guest, you should do so!"

As he spoke, he leaned forward and blew out the candle.

On weekdays, Sui Yan usually reads for a while after dinner and then goes to bed, and the time will never exceed the hour of Xu.

And now, Duan Mingchong was lying beside him, and the faint scent of sandalwood wafted over him, making Sui Yan inevitably feel a little moved.

He turned over and looked at Duan Mingchong with half-closed eyes.

Duan Mingchong never spoke while eating or sleeping, and would never take the initiative to talk to him while lying on the bed.

Sui Yan watched for a while and felt that Duan Mingchong's breathing had become much more stable. He whispered, "Your Highness, Your Highness, are you asleep?"

Duan Mingchong's eyelashes moved slightly, he opened his eyes, and smiled at him: "Not yet." Sui Yan: "..."

Sui Yan said dryly: "Oh, then Your Highness, go to sleep quickly, you have to get up early tomorrow."

Duan Mingchong hummed, "You too." Then he closed his eyes again.

Sui Yan waited patiently for another half an hour before lowering his voice and asking, "Your Highness?"

He only called once this time because he suspected that his voice was a little loud last time and woke Duan Mingchong up.

Duan Mingchong, who seemed to be sleeping soundly, moved and squinted his eyes with a smile: "Ayan, I'm not asleep yet. If you have anything to say, just tell me directly. Or am I crowding you?"

Sui Yan: “…”

Sui Yan shook his head in a speechless tone: "Your Highness, go to sleep."

Sui Yan originally wanted to take advantage of Duan Mingchong by holding him in his arms for a while while he was asleep, but who knew that Duan Mingchong seemed to be playing by his own rules and hadn't fallen asleep for such a long time.

The third time, Sui Yan waited patiently for more than an hour, his eyelids kept fighting, and finally he waited until the quarter after midnight. He yawned, walked gently in front of Duan Mingchong, and said, "Your Highness?"

This time, Duan Mingchong was probably really fast asleep, not even his eyelashes trembled.

Sui Yan was frightened by him and did not dare to crawl into his quilt. He wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, gently lay on Duan Mingchong's pillow, and stared at Duan Mingchong's handsome sleeping face without blinking.

Being a descendant of a noble family, he seemed to be born with a noble aura, which made Sui Yan dare not do anything improper even when he was asleep.

Sui Yan looked at it for a long time before finally making up his mind.

He lowered his eyes slightly, his eyelashes trembling all the time, and then, Sui Yan did something that even he thought was bold and presumptuous - he stepped forward and gently gave Duan Mingchong a kiss on the corner of his lips.

Maybe it wasn't a kiss at all, just a light touch and then it ended.

Sui Yan only touched it once and then quickly retracted his quilt, pulling it over his head, not daring to come out again.

Sui Yan stayed up till midnight before falling into a deep sleep.

Early the next morning, Jun Jingxing knocked on his door.

Sui Yan rubbed his eyes and sat up sleepily: "Come in."

Jun Jingxing came in with hot water and asked casually, "Did you sleep well last night?"

Sui Yan was stunned for a moment before he glanced at the neatly folded quilt beside him - Duan Mingchong had left at some point.

Sui Yan suddenly recalled the rebellious stolen kiss last night, and immediately hugged his head and fell on the pillow.

Jun Jingxing warmed Sui Yan's clothes by the charcoal basin, threw them to him, and said, "Don't be a quail, get up quickly."

Sui Yan pounded his pillow and said in agony, "I am truly a traitor and a disgrace to society..."

Jun Jingxing frowned: "Isn't it just getting out of bed? How can it be considered as an insult to society?"

Sui Yan pounded his pillow for a while before getting out of bed with his hair dishevelled and getting dressed. He asked, "When did His Royal Highness the Crown Prince leave?"

Jun Jingxing said, "I entered the palace with your brother before dawn." Sui Yan looked gloomy, "Oh."

Seeing that he still looked sleepy, Jun Jingxing asked hesitantly, "Last night you and the prince..."

Before he finished speaking, Sui Yan suddenly shuddered and looked at him in shock: "I'm not, I didn't!"

Jun Jingxing: “…”

Jun Jingxing looked at him dimly: "Nothing? I haven't said anything yet, why are you so anxious to deny it?"

Sui Yan quickly covered his mouth, but his ears turned slightly red.

Jun Jingxing understood: "Oh, I understand, you..."

Sui Yan interrupted: "You don't understand!"

Jun Jingxing looked at him teasingly.

Sui Yan put down his hand, lowered his eyes and looked at the ends of his hair, and said softly: "I'm a little scared."

Jun Jingxing was stunned. He always thought Sui Yan was fearless. With a personality like Sui Yan who even coveted the current crown prince, how could he be afraid of anything?

But as soon as he said "I'm scared" without any emotion, Jun Jingxing suddenly couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

Sui Yan tidied his black hair in a mess, tilted his head to look at himself in the mirror, and muttered after a long while: "I just... touched him, and I was scared to death..."

But what is he afraid of?

Sui Yan didn't even know what he was afraid of?

Was he afraid that their ethics would be unacceptable to the world and that they would be discouraged and criticized by others? No, Sui Yan didn't care about that at all.

That's because he was afraid that Duan Mingchong didn't have any so-called love for her at all, and all this was just his wishful thinking.

Sui Yan reached out his hand towards the bronze mirror, and gently placed his fingertips on his blurry face in the mirror, and whispered, "If his feelings for me are not that kind of admiration at all, then those ambiguous actions and words I said, would they be a joke in his eyes?"

If one day, Duan Mingchong knew how I felt about him, would he find him disgusting, distance himself from him, and hate him from then on?

Whenever Sui Yan thought of this, he felt cold all over.

Jun Jingxing grabbed his hand that was on the bronze mirror and asked, "You've liked him for so many years, do you regret it now?"

Sui Yan looked up at him and shook his head gently: "I will never regret it."

He would choose to forget the things that made him regret, and would never have any contact with the people he resented. No one could make him regret.

Jun Jingxing reached out and rubbed his head, helplessly saying, "So what do you want to do now? Give up on him?"

Sui Yan handed him the hair crown and asked Jun Jingxing to help him tie his hair: "I don't know yet."

Jun Jingxing tied his hair and said nonchalantly, "This road is a wrong one. Not everyone is willing to accompany you to the end. Didn't you make preparations from the beginning?"

Sui Yan looked at the face in the mirror that looked more and more unfamiliar, and lowered his eyes slightly: "I don't have any."

At first, Sui Yan just wanted to rely on the tiny light of Duan Mingchong for comfort, so that he could find a reason to survive in this sad place.

But before anyone knew it, the tiny flame grew stronger and stronger, gradually turning into a raging fire.

Sui Yan had experienced the misery and loneliness of the world, so he could not resist this kind of warmth. There is a reason why moths fly into fire.

After Sui Yan got up, he lay listlessly on the couch to bask in the sun.

Sui Yan hadn't been sick for a long time, so Jun Jingxing felt a little uncomfortable. He coaxed and persuaded Sui Yan to drink half a bowl of medicine just in case. After thinking for a long time, he asked Haitang to call Sui Xun.

Sui Xun was about to go out to look for Jiang Ning, but when she heard Hai Tang say that something was wrong with Sui Yan, she frowned and went to the side yard.

Sui Yan was sleeping with his eyes closed. Sui Xun walked up to him and touched his forehead.

Sui Yan opened his eyes and saw Sui Xun sitting up. He smiled and said, "Brother, why didn't you go out today?"

Sui Xun asked, "Are you feeling a little feverish?"

Sui Yan tried to touch it himself and shook his head: "It seems not."

Sui Xun was relieved and said, "I'll go out later."

Sui Yan nodded.

Sui Xun looked at him hesitantly, wanting to say something.

Sui Yan said, "Brother, just tell me what you want to say."

Sui Xun then said, "Next spring, I will take you to Jiangnan for some time. Sui's ancestral home is in Jiangnan, where birds are singing and flowers are blooming, and it's spring-like all year round. It's very suitable for traveling and recuperation."

Sui Yan was stunned and asked, "Jiangnan?"

Sui Xun said, "Well, I won't have to go to the border for about three or four years. We can live here for a long time. What do you think?"

Sui Yan's eyes moved slightly, and his heart sank suddenly. He was not sure whether Sui Xun knew something, so he let him leave the capital at this juncture.

Sui Yan was silent for a while before saying, "Let's talk about it after the New Year."

Sui Xun said: "Okay, we'll wait."

Sui Yan was about to nod, then he raised his head as if he had realized what was going on, and looked at him expressionlessly: "We?"

We?

Sui Xun said, "Well, Jiang Ning said he wanted to go to Jiangnan to see the mountains and rivers. I have already agreed. Taking you there is just for convenience. It's not a big deal if you don't go. You can stay at the Hou Mansion to look after the house."

Sui Yan: “…”

Sui Yan lifted the blanket and covered his head, saying in a muffled voice, "Goodbye, brother."

Sui Xun didn't know what he had said wrong, and was forced to leave by Sui Yan with some confusion.

Sui Yan slept on the rattan rocking chair for a while, and heard faint footsteps beside his ears.

Sui Yan called out in confusion: "Yue Jian..."

Someone chuckled in his ear: "It's me."

Sui Yan froze, and suddenly threw off the blanket, with a look of joy unconsciously appearing on his face: "Your Highness!"

The dilemma and sadness he had just felt disappeared the moment Duan Mingchong appeared in front of him.

Sui Yan thought to himself, "Screw giving up. I didn't live my life again to be so restricted."

Sui Yan stared at Duan Mingchong's handsome face and murmured, "This is mine."

Duan Mingchong was puzzled: "What?"

Sui Yan dared to speak but not to do, and shook his head hurriedly.

Duan Mingchong folded his sleeves and looked at him with a smile: "Why are you still sleeping? Don't you get enough sleep all day long?"

Sui Yan touched his nose and said, "There's nothing else to do, so I have to sleep."

Duan Mingchong smiled and helped him up, saying, "I just happened to be going to Xiangguo Temple outside the city. Do you want to go with me?"

Sui Yan: "Xiangguo Temple?"

There is more snow at Xiangguo Temple...

Sui Yan didn't want to go. Three years ago, he had met the monk who seemed to know all his past and present lives. He felt a little uncomfortable and was afraid that the monk would shatter his life that he had obtained in vain if he didn't agree with him.

Sui Yan was a little embarrassed: "I'm not really..."

Duan Mingchong said, "There will be a ceremony to worship the heavens on the twenty-seventh day of the lunar year. I need to fast and copy scriptures for three days at Xiangguo Temple. I am not used to the food in the temple, so I brought a few chefs from the East Palace to prepare a vegetarian meal. I wonder if the Marquis..."

Sui Yan said, "Need I say this? I'm really bored in the Marquis' Mansion. It would be much more interesting to go to Xiangguo Temple. Let's go, I'll go pack my things."

Duan Mingchong: "..."