You must be happier than me
When he arrived at the entrance of the residential area, the uncle still remembered him.
He joked, "Looking for your girlfriend so late?"
He smiled but didn't say anything.
The uncle opened the door for him.
When I went in, I glanced at the clock in the guardhouse; it was 10:52.
He stopped when he got downstairs and was about to go in. He took a deep breath, stood where he had been standing, and saw Gu Yu's room.
The light was still on; she hadn't gone to sleep.
He stared at the window and said, "I'm sorry."
Are you still crying? Are you doing well? Are you happy every day?
"Gu Yu, I miss you so much."
Soon, the lights went out. He glanced at his phone; it was 11:30.
He chuckled softly, "It's still the same as before."
After laughing, he felt like crying.
He took a cigarette out of his pocket and started smoking.
He didn't smoke normally, but it was just too hard to endure after he went to Bianzhou.
He stood there, his gaze fixed on the window, a cigarette dangling from his lips.
Judging that it was time for Gu Yu to go to school, he left.
As Gu Yu was leaving, the gatekeeper said, "Young lady, did you and your boyfriend have a fight? He came to see you very late last night. If you had a fight, just talk it out."
Tears welled up in her eyes. "Yes, I understand, Uncle."
Not long after, it was Chen Shengxu's birthday.
Gu Yu bought a small cake to celebrate his birthday himself.
"Chen Shengxu, I wish you happiness every day and good health."
*
Chen Shengxu saw Ms. Jiang when he returned home at noon.
She asked Chen Shengxu, "Do you still want to study?"
"I want to, but my attention isn't on it."
"I have a project in Bianzhou. You can take it. If you succeed, you can do whatever you want. If you fail, you should study hard."
"good."
He took a leave of absence the next day.
*
Yu Cihuan returned to Bianzhou a week after Chen Shengxu took over the project.
"Holy crap! What's wrong with you?"
“It’s okay. My mom gave me a project. I’m going to make it a success. If I succeed, I’ll have the chance to stand in front of her again, and I’ll be worthy of her again.”
How long did you sleep?
"It's been less than ten hours, I'm not sure."
"you…"
“Yu Cihuan, I really miss her so much. I think I might be having a mental breakdown. I’m going crazy from missing her so much.”
“I’ll keep an eye on Gu Yu for you. I’ll make sure nothing happens to her. Chen Shengxu, seize this opportunity.”
"I know."
After Yu Cihuan returned, he told Gu Yu about it.
Gu Yu: "I understand."
I need to work even harder.
*
Ms. Jiang felt distressed watching Chen Shengxu running around, but there was nothing she could do. She couldn't let Chen Shengxu continue down this path of depravity; he needed a goal.
*
The final exams for the third-year middle school students will be held at the end of June.
After the results came out, Gu Yu ranked first in the science class.
In mid-July, Chen Shengxu was hospitalized due to a stomach hemorrhage caused by drinking alcohol.
Ms. Jiang stayed by the hospital bedside all night.
She regretted it a little, as if she had pushed Chen Shengxu too hard, but she also felt that she had to do it.
Chen Shengxu woke up the next afternoon.
He opened his eyes and saw Ms. Jiang holding his hand.
He said, "Mom."
"How are you? Does it still hurt?"
"I'm fine. Look at your dark circles. Go back and rest. You still have things to do for my dad."
Ms. Jiang patted his hand, "I'll go buy you something to eat, wait here."
"good."
As soon as Ms. Jiang left, his whole face scrunched up.
It hurts so much...
But then he thought, it's just a stomach hemorrhage, I'm not dead yet, and the project can start next month.
He did it.
Ms. Jiang brought up some plain white porridge.
He took the porridge, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "Mom, I did it! Aren't I amazing?"
"Thanks for your hard work."
"It's not hard work for me, I'm not as tired as you are. I guess I've helped you in this way."
"Hmm." Ms. Jiang's eyes reddened slightly.
Chen Shengxu could see it.
He said, "Mom, go back and rest, get a good night's sleep, and then come see me again tonight. I want to drink the soup you made."
"Okay, I'll head back now. Ring the bell if you need anything."
"Okay! Bye-bye."
He was overjoyed; he could go find Gu Yu right away.
Thinking about this makes even a bowl of plain congee seem exceptionally delicious.
He thought that once the work started, he would go back to Liangcheng to find Gu Yu.
Buy her a bouquet of red roses and a small cake, then apologize to her and beg for her forgiveness. If she's angry and won't forgive you, then pursue her again.
However, not forgiving is the right thing to do.
*
Chen Shengxu stayed in the hospital for more than half a month. He learned from Yu Cihuan that No. 3 Middle School would start school in early August.
Yu Cihuan said he was a high school senior with a hard life.
He was so happy that he just replied with an "Mm".
However, he didn't tell Yu Cihuan about his stomach bleeding and hospitalization or the project's success.
He was going to run to Liangcheng and suddenly appear in front of them, giving them a huge surprise.
The project commenced on August 10th.
He told the driver who was working with him on the project what to do, and then bought a train ticket for the next day to go to Liangcheng.
He arrived at noon, went to the flower shop to pick out freshly arrived red roses, each one looking exquisite, and then ordered a chestnut cake.
I went to No. 3 Middle School right when school let out in the afternoon.
Before I even got close, I saw a crowd gathered around.
I heard a boy shout, "Gu Yu! I like you, be my girlfriend."
Gu Yu disliked this approach, feeling it was a form of moral blackmail, and frowned as he refused.
However, Chen Shengxu did not hear Gu Yu speak, so he prepared to ask Yu Cihuan.
Before he could even ask, Yu Cihuan sent him a message.
Yu Cihuan: [Gu Yu was confessed to, but she rejected him.]
He was happily preparing to go over when he overheard two students from No. 3 Middle School talking.
"Why doesn't Gu Yu agree? It's obvious that Lu Bohuai is better than that murderer's son. Could it be that she still likes that murderer's son? Don't she remember how harshly she was criticized back then?"
"Who knows? Everyone has their own preferences, but I can't accept dating the son of a murderer."
He couldn't hear what was said after that.
He turned and ran away in a panic.
The flowers and cake were thrown away.
He suddenly felt a little cold.
He is still the son of a murderer.
I bought a train ticket for 8 o'clock.
He fled like a mouse in panic.
*
When Brother Du saw him at the scene the next day, he said, "You're back so soon?"
"Yeah, it's just a small thing, I'll be back as soon as I'm done."
"Okay, then you keep an eye on things for a while. I was exhausted from working on this all day yesterday."
"good."
From that day on, he was on site every day, and even lived there.
Brother Du felt that he had started working like a workaholic again.
He couldn't understand Chen Shengxu.
*
On Gu Yu's birthday, Chen Shengxu bought a big cake and treated everyone to it.
He silently wished Gu Yu a happy birthday, good health, and eternal happiness.
That day, Lu Bohuai bought a bouquet of red roses and gave it to Gu Yu.
Gu Yu said, "I don't like flowers, especially roses."
The weather is getting colder every day.
The project was halted in November.
Chen Shengxu looked up at the sky and asked, "When will it snow this year?"
It seems that God felt he particularly wanted snow, so the first snow fell at the end of November this year.
It's big and beautiful.
That day, Chen Shengxu stood at the door, watching the snow fall and melt, and slowly, a layer of snow accumulated on the ground.
Brother Du said, "This year's snow is heavier than in previous years."
"Yeah?"
"Hmm, I reckon it'll be up to my calves by tomorrow morning."
Chen Shengxu wondered if No. 3 Middle School would have a holiday. If not, what would she do with such heavy snow? It would be very cold.
The next day, after he got up, he went outside to check, and it was just as Brother Du had said.
It was a heavy snowfall.
*
On Christmas Day, Brother Du took Chen Shengxu and several other recent college graduates out for hot pot.
It's warm and cozy.
Did Gu Yu eat hot pot this winter? Did someone help with the dipping sauce when you ate hot pot? Did someone help you cook the food? Did you receive an apple on Christmas Eve? Did you receive a present for Christmas?
I went outside and saw a snowman by the roadside.
Are you building a snowman this year?
A young couple passed by.
He heard the girl complain, "Stop smoking! It smells terrible! I don't like it."
He was stunned for a moment, and the sentence swirled in his mind.
Gu Yu will hate it.
He felt he had something to do.
*
A few days before the Lunar New Year, he helped his grandmother make food, including lots of dumplings with pork and cabbage filling.
Ms. Jiang returned on Lunar New Year's Eve. Brother Du didn't go home; he came too.
There were only four of us, and we gathered on the first floor for a reunion dinner.
After eating, Chen Shengxu went out to set off fireworks.
He was the only one setting off fireworks.
The fireworks were especially beautiful.
Happy New Year, Gu Yu! May you be even happier in the new year. You'll also be taking the college entrance exam next year; I wish you all the best in achieving your goal.
Did they set off fireworks today? What kind of fireworks were they?
Gu Yu, are you happy today?
During his time away, Brother Du asked Ms. Jiang, "What's wrong with him? He's like a walking corpse."
Ms. Jiang was not quite clear about what happened after Mr. Chen was discharged from the hospital; she only told Brother Du the key points of what had happened before.
She trusted this young man because he was someone Old Chen had personally mentored.
Brother Du: "Heartbreak."
At midnight, Brother Du went out and stood next to Chen Shengxu.
He said, "It will be alright."
“It doesn’t matter whether it’s good or bad, after all, I deserve it,” a struggle flashed in his eyes, but the corners of his mouth turned up slightly, and he smiled somewhat reluctantly, “Brother Du, Happy New Year.”
"You too, Happy New Year, Happy Coming of Age."
"Um."
Happy coming of age, Gu Yu.
"Alright, let's go inside. Standing here any longer will make us freeze to death."
Chen Shengxu was pushed inside by Brother Du.
He just couldn't sleep all night, constantly thinking about what Gu Yu was doing, how she was doing, and whether she had a lot of homework for winter break. After all, there was a lot of homework in the first year of high school.
Doing homework all the time is tiring and exhausting.
Yu Cihuan had told him that Gu Yu was exceptionally hardworking and devoted himself to his studies.
Gu Yu, if you're too tired, you can rest. Don't push yourself so hard. It's better to relax a little.
He stood by the window, watching the fireworks exploding in the sky outside.
"Gu Yu, you must be happy, happier than me, you must be joyful, at least more joyful than me, and live a better life than me."
*
Gu Yu spent New Year's Eve with his parents and then went back to his room.
She opened the closet, intending to tidy up her clothes. She took all the clothes out and threw them on the bed.
My gaze fell on the hat in the corner of the wardrobe.
I suddenly feel so tired.
He took the hat out and put it on the table, then stuffed all the clothes back in.
He tapped the brim of his hat with his fingers.
"Happy New Year, Mr. Chen! May you be happy!"
"How are you? Do you think of me?"
I miss you a little.
"More than just a little."
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