He missed her.
Three days later, Chen Shengxu went to a new school and a new science class.
He would sit in the back corner, lost in thought every day, or scroll through his chat history, sometimes laughing and sometimes crying.
The people next to him thought he was crazy and didn't dare to talk to him.
At the end of the month, he couldn't take it anymore and bought a train ticket to Liangcheng.
It was already dark when he arrived.
I took a taxi to the entrance of No. 3 Middle School.
I stood behind a tree not far away and waited.
He didn't know how long he waited, but after hearing the bell ring for the end of get out of class, he craned his neck to look for that figure.
Finally, he saw the figure he had been longing for.
I've lost weight.
He stood there watching the figure walk further and further away until it disappeared from sight. Then he blinked his sore eyes.
Gu Yu returned home without saying a word, and collapsed onto the bed as soon as he entered his room.
She did very poorly on this monthly exam, extremely poorly.
"It's all your fault, Chen Shengxu! It's all your fault..." She buried her head in the blanket. "I hate you, why haven't you come back yet... I miss you so much..."
The next day, when she woke up, she habitually opened Chen Shengxu's homepage and found that he had changed his ID to 442.
She thought about it all morning but still couldn't figure out what it meant.
*
A few days later, Madam Gu asked her, "What's wrong with you lately? You seem very unhappy."
"I broke up with him."
"Why?"
“I don’t know…” Gu Yu cried while hugging Madam Gu, “I hate him, I hate him so much, he’s a bastard!”
She cried for a long, long time.
After calming down, I recounted the whole story from beginning to end.
"He's doing this for your own good."
“I know, but I’m still in a lot of pain. My heart hurts,” Gu Yu said in a hoarse voice. “And I don’t care what others say about me.”
"He cares, he must care a lot."
Gu Yu turned his face away and refused to listen.
Are you going to wait for him?
"No, I don't want to wait for him."
Madam Gu knew she was being sarcastic, but she didn't call her out on it. She patted her head and said, "Alright, if you're still feeling unwell, come find Mommy, okay?"
"Okay, I understand."
*
Chen Shengxu returned to Liangcheng.
This time, he secretly followed Gu Yu.
I watched as she was surrounded by several people.
He emerged from the darkness, took off his hat, put it on Gu Yu's head, and pulled it down.
Block her view.
Don't look.
Gu Yu stood there without moving.
Only then did she realize that the person who had been following her was Chen Shengxu. She heard a clattering sound and knew what was happening.
It took a while for the noise to stop.
Chen Shengxu didn't leave immediately; he stood there staring at Gu Yu.
Gu Yu didn't move either.
The two of them stood there for a full ten minutes.
Chen Shengxu made a move.
He didn't stop as he passed by her, but he walked very slowly.
The distance between him and Gu Yu is growing wider and wider.
Gu Yu turned around.
"Chen Shengxu—"
That shout used up all her strength.
Chen Shengxu's eyes immediately reddened, but he only paused for two seconds.
He disappeared around the corner.
Gu Yu didn't leave; she was waiting for him to turn back.
Chen Shengxu stopped at the corner, tilting his head back and trying to force back his tears.
It failed.
She raised her hand to wipe away her tears, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't wipe them away completely.
She crouched down against the wall, buried her face in her arms, and let out a suppressed sob.
He was starting to feel the strain.
Gu Yu murmured, "Chen Shengxu, you will come back, won't you?"
She waited for a long time, but the person never appeared again, and her legs went numb.
The phone rang; it was my mother calling.
"Honey, why aren't you back yet?"
"I'll go back now."
"Mom will pick you up."
"No need, I'll go back by myself, it'll be quick."
"Okay, then be careful and don't fall."
"Um."
She hung up the phone, glanced at the corner again, and then turned and left.
When she got home, she didn't say anything. She went into her room, took off her hat, put it away, and took her clothes to take a shower.
*
After crying, Chen Shengxu sat there for a while, not knowing how much time had passed. He only knew that half of his body was numb. He took out his phone, glanced at the time, and then put it back.
He propped himself up against the wall.
I almost tripped after taking just one step.
They paused for a while before continuing.
He stood downstairs at the apartment building, looking at the lit window.
"He's probably crying again, again because of me," he sighed. "I'm sorry, Gu Yu, I'm so useless..."
Gu Yu lay in bed unable to fall asleep, and, afraid that his parents would worry, reached out and turned off the light.
Chen Shengxu saw the lights go out, whispered, "Goodnight," and then left.
Gu Yu snuggled in bed, scrolling through his chat history on his phone. At first, he was laughing, thinking Chen Shengxu was stupid and crazy. But when he saw the sentence "Never mind," he suddenly burst into tears, the tears sliding down his cheeks onto the pillow.
She felt increasingly wronged. "Chen Shengxu, you bastard! I hate you so much."
*
Chen Shengxu didn't go back to the hotel. Instead, he went to the vicinity of No. 3 Middle School and sat down on a curb.
He's leaving tomorrow, and since I can't sleep anyway, staying here means I can see her one last time.
*
Gu Yu couldn't sleep.
I got up at six o'clock, told my mother, and went out. I ate a bowl of wontons outside.
She wanted to see Chen Shengxu, but didn't know where to look.
She stood by the roadside, looking around.
Chen Shengxu was hiding about ten meters behind her.
She walked slowly towards the school, with Chen Shengxu following behind her.
I watched her enter the school and then turned and left.
Gu Yu was unwilling to give up and looked back, but there was nothing there.
He bit his lower lip hard.
*
Chen Shengxu didn't go home after getting off the train; he went straight to school and washed his face in the restroom.
Class is still in session, but the teacher is not here.
He entered the classroom through the back door, took out his school uniform from under the desk, put it on, and pulled out his books to study the lessons he had missed.
After class, I used the charger to charge my phone directly at the air conditioner plug.
Those around him thought he was incredibly audacious, but they didn't say anything.
*
After trying every possible means to receive news from Chen Shengxu, Yu Cihuan decided to go to Bianzhou.
He bought a ticket the next second and boarded the train without bringing anything with him.
His buttocks hurt from sitting in the hard seat.
Then I took a taxi to No. 24 Middle School.
"Chen Shengxu! Someone's looking for you outside," a boy called out.
He glanced at me and thought, "I don't know anyone here, do I?"
But he still put down his pen and went outside.
As a result, I saw Yu Cihuan.
Yu Cihuan looked him up and down, then laughed, saying, "You're so poor you're working as a bricklayer on a construction site?"
"without."
"You've made such a mess of yourself just by breaking up. What were you thinking? Did a donkey kick your brain?"
"Yeah, you kicked me."
"Don't interrupt, did you go to see her?"
"Um."
"You met?"
"without."
"That means you were stalking someone."
"Um."
"You're acting like a fucking pervert."
He lowered his eyes and remained silent.
"Has the situation been resolved with your mother?"
"have no idea."
“Chen Shengxu, Gu Yu hasn’t smiled much since you left. She’s very unhappy,” he paused and said. “Come back. We all miss you.”
He moved his lips, but in the end said nothing.
The school bell rang, and he went straight into the classroom.
Yu Cihuan was a little annoyed, kicked the wall, and cursed, "Damn it!"
He glanced at the person in the corner, then left.
I left the school gate and stood by the roadside.
He couldn't explain what he was angry about; he didn't know if he was angry at himself or at Chen Shengxu.
Chen Shengxu lay on the table thinking about Gu Yu.
When I opened my eyes again, it was already the last class. I listened to it intermittently, and unplugged my phone just before the get out of class ended.
When he got home, dinner was already prepared, but he didn't eat it. He went upstairs, took a shower, and then lay on the bed in a daze.
Grandma didn't pay any attention to him and put the food in the kitchen to keep it warm.
*
After Yu Cihuan returned, he discussed some things with his parents.
Then he transferred to No. 3 Middle School, joined Gu Yu's class, and became her deskmate.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I didn't want to either, but I think you must be feeling worse than me. At least it'll be easier to bear having someone I know here."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
He told Gu Yu about his trip to see Chen Shengxu.
"I see,"
He would occasionally tell Chen Shengxu about Gu Yu's situation, but the man never replied.
"Damn it, damn it, damn it."
The results of the December monthly exams are out.
Gu Yu came in second, but she still felt it wasn't enough.
She needs to try harder, just a little harder.
Time flies by, final exams, winter break, and then the start of the second semester of the second year of high school.
Unbeknownst to her, on the eve of the final exams at the third-grade high school, Chen Shengxu stood downstairs all night.
*
Halfway through class, Chen Shengxu took out his phone, swiped around a bit, but there wasn't anything fun to do.
As usual, I opened the chat app and immediately saw the pink rabbit avatar pinned to the top.
He misses her.
A message popped up; it was from Yu Cihuanfa.
Yu Cihuan: [She's messaging you.]
He froze for a moment, his heart pounding.
Yu Cihuan: [She said, "I miss you."]
Yu Cihuan: [She deleted it.]
His heart sank.
Yu Cihuan: [Twice.]
Yu Cihuan: [Three times.]
...
Yu Cihuan: [The eighteenth time.]
*
Gu Yu stared at the blank chat window, then turned off his phone and tossed it into the desk drawer.
Yu Cihuan: [She turned off her phone.]
He kept staring at the word "eighteen times," until he was almost out of breath.
"Teacher, I need to go to the toilet." His voice suddenly went hoarse.
The teacher nodded, signaling him to go.
He ran all the way to the toilet.
I turned on the tap and splashed water on my face, and it took about a dozen splashes to feel a little better.
He had his head down, and the tap was still running.
*
The bell rang, and Gu Yu pulled out a workbook from under her desk and started working on it. Before she could even finish the first question, her vision blurred, and the workbook got a little wet.
She couldn't hold back anymore, so she slumped onto the table and buried her head in her arms.
Yu Cihuan sensed something was wrong, moved closer, and heard her choked sobs.
Chen Shengxu felt his phone vibrate and immediately took it out with his wet hands.
Yu Cihuan: [She cried.]
Almost the next second, he ran out of the toilet.
As he left the school gate, two security guards shouted behind him, but he couldn't hear anything; all he could think about was "she was crying."
I flagged down a car and went to the train station.
He looked out the car window, praying for it to go faster, faster.
This time is just too hard to bear.
When he heard the announcement for Liangcheng, he immediately stood up, paused for two seconds, realized he hadn't arrived yet, and sat back down.
When the train arrived at the station, he was the first to rush off.
It was already dark.
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