81. Secret
Jiang Nan fell silent, and Chen Yunsheng followed suit.
After a while, he took a mouthful of porridge, his expression becoming distant. The porridge was the perfect temperature, and after swallowing it, he could feel a palpable warmth and comfort spreading from his stomach. Chen Yunsheng felt this warmth and continued to stir the porridge.
His expression didn't change much, but the warmth of the porridge softened his eyes, which were always filled with implicit indifference.
He then paused for a long time, so long that Jiang Nan thought he would not continue. Suddenly, he spoke again: "My parents are not in love. They are... more like partners."
He smiled softly and said in a weak but nostalgic voice, "I grew up with my grandma."
Jiang Nan listened quietly.
Whenever he mentioned the deceased elder, there was always a special kind of nostalgia in his tone, as if the longing that had accumulated over many years had finally leaked out a little bit through that small window.
"Grandma was a very gentle person. But when I was little, I always thought her relationship with Grandpa was strange. Grandpa was very kind to her, almost obedient to her, but Grandma was always very polite to him, even a little cold," he frowned slightly, recalling those vague childhood memories. "I didn't understand it at the time. I just thought Grandpa was really good to Grandma, but she didn't seem happy."
The heat from the porridge gradually dissipated, but he didn't move the spoon again.
"Later, grandma fell ill. Very ill," his voice became softer. "At that time, the house was bustling with people coming and going. It was a chaotic place. One time, I overheard the old nanny who had taken care of grandma for many years sighing to someone and saying...that grandma's life was full of hardship because of my second uncle."
He tilted his head slightly to look at Jiang Nan, his eyes complex, filled with painful hatred, and also filled with resentful despair: "It was then that I realized that my second uncle was a mistake made by my grandfather in his youth, and was the ironclad evidence of my grandfather's betrayal of my grandmother. My grandmother was kind and accepted him, even registering him under her name and giving him a legitimate status. But this matter always stood between them and never faded away until my grandmother passed away."
Jiang Nan opened his mouth, but in the end said nothing.
"After grandma passed away," Chen Yunsheng lowered his eyes, staring at the bowl of gradually cooling porridge in front of him, "I was certain in my heart that I would never forgive grandpa in this life. I think he was the one who killed grandma. If it weren't for him, grandma wouldn't have passed away so early."
During that time, despite the large house being filled with so many people, he always came and went alone. His parents remained busy and demanding of him. His grandfather tried to make amends, but he resisted, almost shutting himself off. The only thing that could move him was Chen Minghui's measuring gaze.
"When I was ten, I fell ill," he recounted calmly. "The doctor said there were many contributing factors, but I know the most important one was that I was constantly fretting over something else. It had only been a few years since Grandma passed away, but my second uncle had already begun pushing for his mother to marry Grandpa."
Jiang Nan pursed her lips, a solemn expression on her face. Although she knew Chen Minghui wouldn't give up, his actions were simply rubbing salt into Chen Yunsheng's wounds, especially since his grandmother had passed away only a few years earlier.
"I didn't want that woman to come in; it would have been an insult to Grandma. But I knew I was just a kid, and my words didn't carry any weight," he said with a self-deprecating laugh. "So during that time, I acted very dependent on Grandpa, as if I suddenly loved him and needed him so much. I pestered him every day, not letting him see that woman and my second uncle."
He used the most clumsy and childish way to defend the dignity of his grandmother in his memory.
"Later, that woman didn't make it in. But between me and Grandpa—" He paused, making a sarcastic expression, "I still can't truly forgive him. But at that time, I was so lonely. On my parents' side, the relationship was more like that of superiors and subordinates. Besides Grandpa, it seemed there was no one else in the house. I needed a place to rest, even if that place itself had cracks. So, I regarded him as my last bit of... warmth."
He laid out these secrets, which he had buried deep in his heart and had never told anyone, in front of Jiang Nan.
"Actually..." He paused and didn't finish his words.
In fact, he always felt that the relationship between him and his grandfather was very strange - he could rely on him, but he was very clear about the harm this man had done to his grandmother. When he thought of this harm, he would inevitably feel hatred, but he did feel greedy for the love his grandfather gave him.
Over the years, he often felt a deep pain: guilt and longing for his grandmother, hatred for his grandfather's betrayal, and a longing for the affection he had given him. At times, he often felt torn apart. It was not until he went abroad to study and severed those connections that he found a way to reconcile himself.
At this time, the noise from all around came one after another, with people coming and going in an endless stream.
Then, Chen Yunsheng's words fell into Jiang Nan's ears over the noise of the night market not far away: "Jiang Nan, half of the reason I proposed that arranged marriage was because I felt that Second Uncle and his family would not give up. I also do think that I need a wife to take care of the family, especially to block people like Liang Yue who were pushed by them. Finding someone with a simple background and who seems easy to control to occupy this position in advance can save a lot of trouble."
After saying that, he looked at her quietly, waiting for her reaction.
Jiang Nan digested the complex information she was receiving, feeling a mixture of emotions. It turned out that behind this absurd agreement lay such deep family disputes and personal pain. She was silent for a few seconds, then deliberately put on a serious face and asked him in a tone of false solemnity, "Oh? So I look—easy to control?"
Chen Yunsheng was stunned for a moment, then smiled faintly. The dark past seemed to fade away under her forced seriousness.
He remembered her humor when she was accompanying him in the hospital; her calmness when they first met in the cafe; the way she was cautious and polite after moving into the apartment, but also carefully tested his bottom line with sticky notes; her sparkling eyes when she talked about work; her calm and even a little cunning appearance when facing difficulties, and her decisiveness in getting out of the car to buy him food just now.
All the bits and pieces of the past came together to form the lively and somewhat cunning Jiang Nan in front of him.
He smiled and shook his head, saying in a voice that was a mixture of seriousness and gentleness, "Not at all."
"You are the most uncontrollable person I have ever met." Chen Yunsheng added.
Jiang Nan was amused by his words, but also a little sad. She really wanted to ask her partner what the reason was.
But when she looked at his eyes, which had finally relieved some of the burden but were still tired, she swallowed the question that was on the tip of her tongue.
The fact that he could tell her this was already a great trust in her. She couldn't, and shouldn't, push it any further.
Besides, some answers take time and need to come naturally.
So she just curved her eyes, gave him a warm smile, then reached out to take the bowl of cold porridge from his hand, put the lid back on, and put it back into the bag.
"Don't eat it if it's cold. Come home and I'll heat up some milk for you," she said. "Drink it and then rest. You have a morning flight tomorrow."
Chen Yunsheng watched her natural movements, listened to her plain yet heartwarming words, and suddenly blurted out, "My grandmother's name is Xu Yin. The Xu in Xuxutuzhi, the tone-deaf Yin."
"I remember it," Jiang Nan said solemnly, "I will never forget it."
After saying that, Jiang Nan restarted the car and drove to her residential complex. On the way, Jiang Nan drove attentively, but occasionally glanced at the man who was resting his eyes beside her.
He was still like a cold moon, but now, the moonlight seemed finally willing to shine gently on her still water, casting a bright shadow.
And her still water is willing to continue to embrace the moon, reflecting his brightness and also precipitating the shadows that he does not want to show to others.
——
The car slowly stopped downstairs of Jiang's house.
"They might still be waiting for us." Jiang Nan looked up and saw the lights were still on at home, feeling a little uneasy. At the porridge shop, she had only texted her mother to let her know that Chen Yunsheng was coming over, but she hadn't shared the specific reason. Now, she was even more unsure how to explain Chen Yunsheng's late-night visit, especially with a simple duffel bag in hand.
Chen Yunsheng nodded, then adjusted his mood. He pushed those dark family secrets back into the depths of his heart, and his expression returned to normal as the secrets subsided.
Afterwards, the two of them walked upstairs slowly, sometimes talking in low voices. Just as they reached the door of Jiang's house and Jiang Nan was about to take out the key to open the door, the door opened directly.
A warm light leaked from the door frame, like a warm holy light, illuminating the slightly dim road in front of them.
Hong Qiuping and Jiang Youhua stood at the entrance with smiles and concern on their faces.
"You're back?" Hong Qiuping glanced at Chen Yunsheng and said gently, "Is everything okay?"
Jiang Nan blinked and said calmly, "It's just a business dispute. The other party's methods are not very honorable, so they went to the hotel. Yunsheng felt that it was not safe to stay there, so I asked him to stay at my house for one night."
Chen Yunsheng followed her words and said, "I'm sorry for causing trouble to you, uncle and aunt."
As he spoke, he bowed slightly, looking gentle and humble.
Jiang Youhua stepped forward and patted Chen Yunsheng on the shoulder: "I'm glad you're okay. It's right to avoid those people. Come in quickly, it's windy outside."
His attitude was gentle and calm. He didn't ask for details, nor did he betray any prying intent. This natural and ordinary consideration and trust made Chen Yunsheng, who had been feeling gloomy, feel relieved.
Jiang Nan found her small study room, the door wide open, only to find it was hers. She tilted her head and saw that the old desk had been moved slightly, and across from it was a neatly made bed. The bed looked soft and comfortable, though a little small.
"Uncle, Auntie," Chen Yunsheng looked at the made bed, "This is too much trouble for you."
"What's the trouble? We should apologize. Our house is small and we don't have any extra guest rooms." Hong Qiuping turned to the dining table and said with a smile, "I cooked some lotus root powder and it's still warm. You two should eat some before going to bed to warm your stomachs."
Jiang Nan followed Hong Qiuping's gaze and saw two bowls of lotus root powder with a sweet smell on the dining table, with a small dish of osmanthus sugar next to it.
Watching this scene, Chen Yunsheng was at a loss for words. All the calculations, defensiveness, and the emptiness he'd felt after pouring out his secret seemed to be quietly filled by this simple midnight snack and this silent care. For the first time, he felt so clearly what the most simple, yet precious, warmth felt like.
"Thank you, auntie, thank you, uncle." In the end, he could only express his gratitude solemnly.
"Don't be polite, please sit down and eat." Jiang Youhua greeted with a smile.
"Let's go," Jiang Nan pulled him to sit down, then pushed a bowl of lotus root powder in front of him, "My mom's lotus root powder is really good, you should try it."
Hearing this, Hong Qiuping smiled.
Afterwards, the four of them sat around the dining table, chatting occasionally. No one mentioned the harassment at the hotel, as if it were just an insignificant incident.
After finishing his midnight snack, Jiang Youhua quickly cleared the dishes and urged, "It's getting late, everyone should go to bed. Xiao Chen, we've put new towels and toothbrushes on the shelf in the bathroom for you. Just let me know if you need anything."
"Okay, uncle," Chen Yunsheng thanked him again, "Thank you, uncle and aunt."
Jiang Youhua smiled and said, "You're welcome." After that, he went to the kitchen to wash dishes while humming a song.
Jiang Nan waited until Chen Yunsheng finished washing up before walking him to the door of his study. She whispered to him, "I'm sorry I've wronged you tonight."
Chen Yunsheng shook his head. "I'm not wronged." He then looked at Jiang Nan and was silent for a moment. Then, he suddenly said in a gentle yet formal tone, "Thank you, Jiang Nan."
Jiang Nan curved his eyes and smiled warmly, "You're welcome. Good night."
"good evening."
Afterwards, the study door closed gently.
Chen Yunsheng stood in this makeshift yet warm room, listening to the low, laughing voices of Jiang Nan and her parents outside the door. He then slowly walked to the window. He looked out at the quiet night, and for the first time, he felt that the haze that had lingered in his heart for years seemed to finally fade a little.
He thought for no reason that pain seemed to become insignificant if shared, but he hoped that next time he could share happiness with Jiang Nan.
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